Weddingbee Blog

Yeah I have one guest who won’t know his training schedule until next week, so I just said “okay but you REALLY REALLY REALLY have to let me know THE SECOND you find out if you can come or not.” For more general wishy washy people I think we’ll just guess half of them will show up and give that number to the caterer…or maybe 2/3rds? That said, we haven’t started calling people yet even though we’re a week past our RSVP date since we keep getting stragglers, so hopefully we can nail down a few more before then….

When do you have to let the caterer know what you’re final headcount is? For my wedding it’s 5 days before (however, other vendors wanted 10, 14, even 20 days notice before our event). If you have until a week or two before the wedding, leave the RSVPs as they are for now. As the wedding gets closer, call or if you really know the couple well, send an email, to see if their status has changed. I agree with a previous post about putting the heat on them. If they say “no”, it’s unfortunate that they can’t make it, but at least they were honest with you. If you still can’t get a straight answer out of them, it’s up to intuition to judge if you think they’ll show up. After that, pad the number, but only by a plate or two. You would hate for someone to actually show up and not have a plate, regardless of their RSVP status.

Ugh we had some of these too! What’s worse, though, are the last-minute ones trickling in “Sorry! I just found out I can’t make it!” and “Do you still have space? We can come! We promise not to eat anything!” (:-D) I realize peoples’ lives and schedules change, but for some I just feel it’s plain ol’ rudeness. Best of luck dealing with the wishy-washers! (lol)

I would also ask the wishy washers when they expect to know. Something like “when do you think you’ll know if you can come?” And if that date is within your comfort zone, give them till that and then stick it to them “I’m just checking back in, wanted to know if you’d decided yet.” and then put the real pressure on.

Not so much for the wedding, but for the rehearsal party the evening before. Instead of a restaurant meal, my sister is throwing a pool party at her home for the members of the bridal party after the rehearsal and for the out of town guests. A few of my friends have responded to her invite with things like, “we don’t know, we have a newborn.” Which means what, exactly? Can’t bring the baby? Why not? And another friend who wants to come but her socially challenged husband refuses to make a decision a week before. My advice to her was “ditch the husband in a hotel room and come to the party wihout him.

I also still haven’t received a few RSPVs. I’m calling the last ones today–tomorrow our final headcount is due. If I don’t get a “yes, of course, or no, sorry, didnt you get my RSVP card?” I’m putting them down as “no.”

Oh man, you guys are nice, or I’m just the typical Virgo.

We’re having a very small reception (120), since we’re footing the bill ourselves and trying to purchase a house at the same time.

Needless to say, we anticipated having to do a “B” list mailing, as not everyone will show and never heard from until now relatives are moaning that they didn’t get an invite.

The “A” list is due in 3 weeks and only 30% have responded. So I had my mother, FILs and fiance call their invitees to gently nudge them to respond by the deadline. They had two months, already, and it’s not rocket science.

If no response is received by the deadline, you’re assumed “sorry, can’t make it”, it’s on to list “B”, no shit. And eveyone knows I’m not kidding.