Wedding Blog
Last night I went home to have dinner with my family. My mom was brimming with excitement about another wedding she and my dad attended this past weekend. Something about how “original,” “unique,” and “lively” the event was. How in the middle of the first dance, the entire bridal party joined in and they broke out into a choreographed routine (wow, those are getting popular, no?) Then she mentioned the now seemingly requisite slideshow and asked if we are having one too. My response was, “Errr, No…we weren’t planning to…” So she asked, “Then what kind of entertainment are you having?”
Say What?! 
I didn’t realize that we had to “entertain” anyone per se. Is that even the right word to use? But then I started to think some more. There’s no doubt that on the whole, weddings are getting bigger and more elaborate by the second it seems. The wedding industry has certainly seen to that! (I have to admit that I was sucked into the hype years ago, and plan to get into the wedding planning business in the near future 
). So if weddings are generally getting more extravagant, do we also have to contend with guests’ growing expectations? Ack!
However, let me backtrack and say that I do love a good wedding slideshow!! The only reason we aren’t having one is because Mr. E does not have all that many pictures of his childhood and adolescence. Not to mention the fact that we both went through many, many, seriously dorky years, which I do NOT want flashed on a big screen for all to see on our BIG DAY. Now if we could skip from ages 7 to 19, then just maybe I would give it some more thought! HA!
Anywhoo, back to the topic on hand. We are doing the basics: first dance, father/daughter dance, cake cutting, toasts, bouquet/garter toss…but beyond that, I haven’t given it much thought. Our reception timeline has not been hashed out yet. So please, if you are doing anything beyond the norm, do share!! Or on the flip side, share your expectations! (I know many people will say that all they expect is to see the blissfully happy newlyweds)
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Share this post: What’s Your Entertainment?
Eh, no — we’re not doing anything beyond the basics. If I can get it together we’ll have small albums of pictures at each table (table 1 will have pics of us at age 1, etc.), but if I can’t pull that off in the next month… ehn. Whatever.
Seriously, I have enough crap to finish in the next month that I don’t need one more thing, and frankly, neither do my guests!
I mean, really, folks, weddings and receptions (really, receptions) are getting waaaaay out of hand. Since when do guests expect to be entertained? Aren’t we inviting them to celebrate in our marriage ceremony? Is that not enough anymore? Good grief! I was initially buying into the “we have to do this… we have to do that…” mentality, until it got utterly ridiculous and expensive, and have now scaled back and are having a beautiful wedding (nothing’s changed there) and simple but lovely cake and punch reception. No dancing. No tossing. Just the happy couple and our loved ones celebrating together. Our guests are our family and friends - since when do those folks have entertainment expectations??
Sorry for the rant - I’m just so over all of these over-the-top “necessities” that the bridal industry has told us we “need.”
I wouldn’t expect to do anything “extra” in terms of entertaining.
However, I do have great memories of a Bangladeshi couple’s wedding reception which featured a belly dancer!
With the way some of our guests dance, they’ll entertain themselves!! 
I’m sorry, but all these slideshows, videos, choreographed dances, and other nonsense really detracts from what the day is about. We’re doing the parents dances and the first dance, but no tosses. I think they’re cheesy. I agree with KDN, its overload.
I think people get used to certain traditions and such, but really as long as they are fed and have had the pleasure of witnessing something as happy as a wedding, most people are thrilled. And if they’re not, then they’re probably the kind of people who wouldn’t be happy no matter what.
All we’re doing are the dances, then a “presentation” of the cake about 2 hours later. No cutting, no tosses, no slide shows - my dad will make the only toast.
We are providing a beautiful setting, an amazing band, a ton of food and alcohol, and 200+ of our friends and relatives. We’re pretty sure they will be plenty entertained!
It reminds me of completely over-the-top toddler birthday parties. What kindergartener really needs a bouncy castle?
hi miss emerald - my schmoopy also has very very few childhood pics. he only has 1 baby pic of himself and then it jsut fast forwards to a pic when he’s 6 yrs old and then fast forward to when he’s 14 yrs old! So, we decided we’d make a slideshow showing our engagement photoshoot, engagement party, bridal shower, etc…
Wow. Um, do you hire entertainment for family gatherings? Or play games at dinner parties? Isn’t the joy of seeing two people get married, free booze and the spectacle of watching Aunt Sue boogie down enough?
We’re not even doing half the basics. We will be having boardgames out, music and free booze. If anyone feels they missed out on something, I don’t want to hear it. The boardgames aren’t even neccessary, they just have special meaning for mr mouse and I.
I agree that it’s ridiculous to go over the top. But a wedding is a celebration of two lives coming together and I think it’s important to reflect the couple’s personalities, and since every couple is different, this should result in a unique wedding without too much fuss!
That said, we are having a few ‘unique’ things - mainly, we have a fiddler who is going to play while we do some Irish dancing. This is a family tradition- my grandfather played accordian at his daughters’ weddings while everyone danced! I started studying irish dance when I was 8 and I think it’s so much fun, so I’m excited to show everyone a few moves! I also have some family/friends who I’ve dragged along to irish dances over the years so they know some of the dances and are really excited about it too.
I’m hoping it will be memorable but really I’m doing it because I love dancing and it’s part of my family’s traditions, not as an elaborate ‘entertainment’ sort of thing.
we are taking out some of the traditional items like bouquet toss and father daughter and inserting some other events such as a chinese lion dance. we are also planning to have a photobooth where the guest can take shots of themselves. i personally like the entertainment and i dont think this takes away from the day at all. if FH would do a choreographed dance, I’d be all for it! We also plan to do a slideshow, not only of us, but our bridal party and hopefully everyone in attendance.
I don’t expect to be entertained at a wedding but I sure appreciate it when there is a little extra something. Nothing flashy but something that represents the couple’s personality - a touching slideshow, a great (funny) toast from the best man, great music, etc.
My FI and I are picture buffs so we’ve take A LOT of photos. We asked his best man to put together a slide show with these photos of our courtship (First date, trips we’ve taken together, the proposal, etc. ) with commentary. We gave him full rein but he knows not to go overboard and offend anyone. cross my fingers…..
I too am stressing about entertaining my guests. I am having a mariachi band for my family and Asian fan dancers for my FI’s family. I am toying around w/ having a band for one set then a dj to make it more lively..but I do feel pressured to entertain as I do like FUN weddings
I agree with KDN…weddings have gotten waaay out of hand! We are cutting some stuff like the boquet toss, cake cut, etc., and I am sooo glad, because then I can relax and enjoy my guests and the day. I do not need one more thing to worry about. Also, it’s a wedding, not a Broadway show. Real life (at least mine) isn’t Hollywood & even if I had JLo’s $$$, I would not spend it on this stuff. I just want to marry my best friend and then party the old fashioned way with my peeps…
Heck….I read weddingbee every single day but I have never dreamt of having the big white beautiful wedding. At this point, we’re not having a ceremony (going to the courthouse!), we’re not have the american reception and we’re not having the chinese banquet. Right now, it’s 90% of having a good outdoor bbq and picnic where all our family and friends be as informal as possible and just have a good time with no high expectations. No cake, no flowers, no fancy schmancy wedding accessories and etc. The other 10% is still hesitating on what other PEOPLE’s expectation are. We so do not follow the norm. Anyone else out there doing anything out of the norm? Like extreme norm.
Friends of ours got married on a glacier, then had a combination reception and anniversary party a year later. Possibly because we knew it wouldn’t be all tiered cakes and jordan almonds, we weren’t at all disappointed when we didn’t get those things. The “entertainment,” for the record, was a steel drum band and beach volleyball. They did the cameras-on-every-table thing, and eventually the party degraded into taking pictures of our tablemates doing Donald Rumsfeld impressions. That right there is entertainment.
my friend went to a wedding where they did this choreographed dance, and she said it was the most awkward/weirdest thing ever!! if the mood isn’t right, the bridal choregraphed dance could be really cheesy and dumb. (and a waste of time/practicing!)
honestly, i think providing drinks and a dance floor with music is all the entertainment you need! and i agree– they came to celebrate YOU, not them. (err… to celebrate you AND your husband i mean.. hehe)
as a guest to recent weddings…all the “entertaining” (20 minute slide show, 5 “first” dances, the long bridal party introduction, the many many speeches) was really boring and made for long receptions. maybe because i wasn’t really close to the couples so i didn’t get all the deep meanings, but, honestly, as long as there’s good food, and things are done in a timely manner (one started two hours late from the scheduled time and then the food took another 2 hours) everything else is really unnessecary. at least in my humble opinion =P
The music and dancing, with family members and friends visiting is entertainment enough. The evening goes by quickly enough, don’t try to cram more in, you’ll wear yourself out. Honestly, these extra events are getting ridiculous, it’s a wedding, not a floor show.
it’s just an option, as is everything else, including the “necessities” such as big cakes and escort cards and $350 shoes.
as between hand printing fan programs for my guests and doing something fun that they will enjoy and remember, i’d pick the latter any day. we just went to a wedding where the groom sang the bride a song with the band accompanying him, and the uncle of the groom gave a speech involving magic tricks. it was awesome! (ok, the uncle was a bit drunk and the magic trick failed the first time, but still) and yes, it was very entertaining, but it also was a demonstration of why we were all there that night. and it was free! none of the guests expected it, we all thought it was fantastic tho.
Hmm, no slideshow for us, I’ve always kinda hated those even though I love photos. We’re doing the tosses and first dances out of obligation to tradition and expectations, but I don’t think we’ll regret doing it. I guess that’s adhering to guest expectations. But if they can’t entertain themselves with fabulous company, food, booze and music, not my problem.
The only extravagant thing we have is a photobooth but the photos are our favors, I would rather take home pictures of me and my friends looking fabulous than jordan almonds, mints, bells or frames anyday.
no slideshow for us.
no choreographed first dance… I think they mostly look awkward.
no bouquet toss, no garter.
I’ll dance with my dad, he’ll dance with his mom, the BM will give a short speech, as will my dad just to welcome everyone and say thank you (more of a European thing than American anymore) and that’s it!
The entertainment will be our fabulous band and the open bar.
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Mrs. Emerald, Chicago
Age and Occupation: 26, Wedding Planner
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 26, Paralegal
Engagement Date: October 8, 2006
Wedding Date: September 2007
Blogging Since: November 29, 2006
Venue: Hyatt Lodge, Oak Brook IL
About Me: I have been dreaming about my wedding forever, and flipping through bridal magazines since high school, so I am in my element! I am calling our theme "Vintage Inspired French/Asian Fusion." Mr. Emerald is very involved in the planning process, but of course he generally defers to me cuz I have a strong opinion of how I want everything to be :-).
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