Wedding Blog
I am so burned out with wedding planning. Part of it stems from my frustration with planning some events at work, and that has trickled into my personal life. It just seems like I am ostriching myself right now — sticking my head into the sand and ignoring the wedding work to be done. My brain is in crisis lockdown mode. I do have some big things left to do:
1. Address invitation envelopes and mail them out
2. Finalize cake details
3. Create and print menus
4. Finish creating and printing programs
5. Dress fittings
6. Buy a veil
OK, now that I actually write it down, it’s not *that* bad…but I still feel like I should be doing something and right now, I am doing nada. I guess this is that infamous wedding lull.
Has anyone just completely disconnected from the wedding process? How do you get back that enthusiasm and zest for planning?
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I think wedding planning always has it’s ups and downs. To get through those valleys though, take one thing and do a little bit at a time.
I would start by calling and setting your alterations appointment. Then you can’t do anything until that date comes! :::crosses off list:::
Then, address 5 invitations now and another 5 in an hour. Maybe another 5 after dinner and another 5 before you go to bed. Before you know it, you’ll have them all done by the end of the week.
Pick a cake and go with it. Don’t agonize over the details because the options will make you go crazy! Having one more thing off the list will make you feel like you accomplished something, and energize you to keep going on the rest.
Hang in there! If all else fails, take a “no wedding” break for a few days to start refreshed.
Nothing wrong with having the wedding planning blues. Why not take one week off and not do a damn thing? I mean, your guests won’t freak out if they get their invitations one week later and the same goes for the rest of the “to-do’s” — they’ll be there when you get back.
As for getting the zest back — I sometimes leaf through my old wedding notebook and kinda relive the whole process from initial planning concept til now. It really shows you how much you’ve already accomplished in this “wedding” journey and makes these last few steps look like a piece of cake. Hope that helps!
Sounds like you need a spa day. A total NON-wedding experience. Take in a cheezy movie, spend an afternoon in a museum or aquarium, get a manicure or pedicure (or both)!
I hear you. Most times nowadays, I just want the planning to be over with and just get married already!
I did, partially due to the long engagement and stress from work. Knowing that I only have 3 weeks left until the wedding kicked me right back into gear though 
Ditto. I was in that mode for the past few months as we just had a lot of “life” going on (moving both of us, busy at work, other stuff to plan, social lives to keep up with, etc.). Lately, I’ve gotten back on it as I’m having fun making my invitations, but I still have very little time inbetween everything else to get back into it like I was before.
[Swiftly kicking Miss Pearl's slimmer butt into gear.]
I agree with some of the others that you might need to take some time off. You might also want to think about whether you need all these things or not. I was just at an amazingly gorgeous wedding this past weekend, and looking back on it, there were no programs, there were no menus, and the bride wore a borrowed veil. So if you have too much to do, don’t do it all!
I’ll chime in with the advice to take a break. We are two and a half weeks out from our wedding and I absolutely cannot wait to be done with planning. I’m entirely sick of making decisions about what are ultimately trivial details, tired of worrying about all the logistics, and even getting tired of wedding porn and the unrealistic expectations all those pretty, pretty pictures set. I just want to marry my wonderful FI and celebrate with friends and celebrate never having to plan one of these things again!
I have three days left until the wedding, a zillion things left to do, and my fiance and I are seriously thinking of eloping. We’re tired of it all, and irritated at everything. I’m even irritated at him for being irritated, considering I’ve done 80% of the work. Well, maybe 75%.
I wish it were Sunday morning and everything was either finished, or it was too late to do anything about it.
Do all brides feel like this a couple of days out?
oh totally! i’d go crazy for two weeks,and then not do anything for a month. resting and tending to other aspects of my life really help. that way i don’t feel like my life is defined by wedding planning.
It seems like some of you are reading my mind judging by what you’ve written. I’m at the point where I’m so stressed out with deciding “ultimately trivial details” that I’ve lost sight of all the things I should be thankful for. My hair is falling out, my heart races out of no where, and I’m snappy and irritable. I am way behind on wedding tasks and go between stressing out about it and not giveing a crap and putting it off even more. What’s the world coming to when the happiest day of your life makes you miserable for the year you spend planning it??
All work and no play makes Pearl a dull girl.
If it’s not just general burnout but there is a certain project that you are just *dreading* maybe step back and consider whether there is some other reason you dread it.
Take it easy!
I would pick the thing you’re most dreading doing and get it (or at least some of it) out of the way. If you’re dreading addressing all those invitations, for example, just do a small set number (15) and then mentally cross some of it off your list. Then go play at the spa! Getting the “worst” over with always makes it seem less bad.
At least, that’s what always worked for me when I didn’t want to do my math homework!
I was stalled a while ago because I thought all I could do was work on the #1 thing on my to-do list. Numbers 2 through…oh, 96, maybe were little quick easy things that’d take a couple of minutes, but that giant long-term #1 project was wearing me down. Still, would I put it aside and chip away at the rest of the list? No.
Eventually I noticed I was staying late at work to avoid coming home and “having” to work on project #1. I mean, that’s crazy talk. So I set the big project aside and did some of the “fun” things on the list (lots of little DIY stuff, minor-league shopping, etc), and after awhile I was completely re-energized. When I went back to the big job, the momentum from that break carried me though right to the end.
So if staring at piles of blank envelopes is just killin’ ya, think about cake for a while. Then, yeah, do five invites and stop. Play around with formatting the menu. Then do five invites and stop. Consider fonts for the program. Then do five invites and stop.
Prioritizing is useful right up to the point where it absolutely stops you from doing anything.
we have the SAME to-do list! And I am SO burned out! Let’s start a support group!
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Mrs. Pearl, Los Angeles
Age and Occupation: 26, High school history teacher
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 37, Software engineer
Engagement Date: No official date, we just decided :-)
Wedding Date: July 2007
Venue: St. Anthony's Greek Orthodox Church, Ritz Carlton Huntington Hotel
About Me: Mr. Pearl and I have been together for about four and a half years now. We've been "engaged" since 2004 and were originally supposed to get married in June 2006, but postponed the wedding to July 2007. I love shopping for housewares and office supplies, music, reading chick lit, football, and the diverse world of Los Angeles dining.
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