A Little Help From Our Friends?

A Little Help From Our Friends?

June 1st, 2007 @ 9:27 am by Mrs. Kiwi
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In my post yesterday, Jessi mentioned it being helpful to have a list of things you hadn’t thought about for your wedding. So, I thought I’d ask around and see what everyone else had pop up.

These are the things I’m constantly asking myself- or poor Mr. Kiwi who is stressed out enough.

I know I never really thought about the order of our procession. Isn’t it always, bridesmaids, MOH, flowergirl & ring bearer with the guys up front? Well, Church Lady has since asked me to give her the exact order. And what music the organist should play as we walk. I have to choose that?? Isn’t it “Dum dum dumdum… dum dum dumdum”? That’s what I always walked to when I practiced in my washcloth and towel set as a 5 year old “bride”. In fact, that exact song. Although looking back, I think my brother was just calling me “dumb” and not really playing usher like I told him to.

Which brings me to ushers. Is that really necessary? It’s easy- sit over there. There will be no elderly family members who need help, and everyone is moderately in good enough shape to be able to slide into a pew. So, unless the mothers want someone special to walk them down, it’s good ol’ Uncle Bob doing the honors.

Or… are the mothers ever just seated when I sashay down the aisle? If they’re “ushered”, does each mom get a different usher?

Will I ever learn the “Our Father” prayer? Wait… do I even NEED to?

Dollar Dance. My family is making me do the dollar dance- which will cost me more than the generous family members. I’m going to have to dance. With people who aren’t my broom/one sweep. Even if I learn how to dance, I’m still not the best at being the center of attention. I know, I know- then DON’T HAVE A BIG WEDDING.

How the heck am I going to cut a slice into the card box? And why do I feel so guilty about putting a box out there for people to stick presents in? And listen here, punk ass students of Mr. Kiwi- if there is one iota of crap/trash/food in that box- I’m coming for you.

Just how long can I wear this dress until I get my full money’s worth? If you Los Angelenos see a girl in a grimy wedding dress watching an IMAX movie and/or playing mini golf, feel free to say hello to Miss Kiwi.

If our invitations are beautiful, and in the same color family as we’re having, will anyone notice the lack of “leafy”? And yes, I’m sure I’m the only one who notices the leafy thing.

Will we be needing a cake cutting song? The Knot says yes, my head says, “Are you friggin’ serious? It’s cake. Like, three seconds of cake.”

And then, lastly, should I pick a sentimental song to dance with my dad, or a funny one? He tends to cry easily.

Now, although these are things I don’t really think can help others to know, you never can be too sure.

Weddingbee: What are the things that you wish someone had reminded/told you?

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29 Responses to “A Little Help From Our Friends?”

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Guest

I wish someone had reminded me to think about what I was going to say and who to thank during the mini-speech before the toast. It was a very ad lib speech and I feel bad that we didn’t thank those who did so much to us in front of everyone at the wedding. Because we left immediately for the honeymoon, it wasn’t until a week later that we were able to seek these individuals out and thank them.

6/1/07 @ 9:35 am (reply)

Guest

Sarah

FWIW, here is my processional order:
Groomsman B escorts FOB’s wife
Groomsman A escorts groom’s sister
Groom and Best Man escort their mom, dad follows
(music changes)
Bridesmaid B
Bridesmaid A
Slight space where the MOH would be (long story)
Me and Dad

Oh, and the processional song in your head is the wedding march from Lohengrin. Can I just say, though, that where that appears in the opera is NOT walking in to the church. It’s walking into the bridal chamber to consummate the marriage…if you know what I mean. Ask to hear Elsa’s Procession, also from Lohengrin, before you make your final decision.

____

Separate from that, all the Mrs’s please answer this question! The Misses are dying to know!

6/1/07 @ 9:41 am (reply)

Guest

Chrissie

I wish we had made more of an effort to learn to dance. As it was, we started practicing the foxtrot the Tuesday before our Saturday wedding… with the help of a video found on YouTube! We did an okay job, but it was nothing special.

6/1/07 @ 9:42 am (reply)

Guest

As an addendum and to add something VERY helpfup, people thought I was nuts that I created a packet of information and made multiple copies for all the important people involved.

The packet included:
the entire schedule of events, including vendor phone numbers, family contact numbers, etc
reception seating chart
list of photos that I gave my photography
our travel itinerary and departure times/dates, etc

The packet was about 7-8 pages each and I gave copies to the moms, siblings, vendors a few days before the wedding so that we were all on the same page. This was great because it minimized the amount of questions I was being asked, if someone didn’t know who was supposed to be where at what time, they didn’t all have to come to me to find out, etc. It was a life saver and I would strongly recommend it.

6/1/07 @ 9:49 am (reply)

Guest

Mrs. Bird of Paradise

the priest had the line up all ready for us, but that can change as needed. (for instance i had more than just my mom/grandmother walk down the aisle on my side.)

we did have to say the our father. i don’t think mr. bop actually said it (he’s not catholic). so i don’t think you have to learn it/say it if you don’t want to.

i didn’t have a cake cutting song. i don’t even remember what was playing during it or our toast.

6/1/07 @ 9:54 am (reply)

Guest

Sarah

Cutting a slot in the card box = very very sharp knife. If you have not gotten an X-acto knife by this point in the planning process, now’s the time.

6/1/07 @ 9:58 am (reply)

Guest

Andrea

Addendum to the card box…if you are worried about rough edges, wrap the box like a present and tuck the paper in the slot and tape to the inside. Pretty!

6/1/07 @ 10:10 am (reply)

Guest

Sarah

Card box addendum addendum: if you’re like me, and screw it up anyway, you can glue rhinestones to it.

I should post pictures.

6/1/07 @ 10:13 am (reply)

Guest

and get an extra tall cardbox that you can cut a wide enough slit into. you don’t want your guests to have to jiggle it around in order to get the cards to lie flat.

I cut an “x” shape into my slit, and folded the paper inside. I slipped a piece of tape in through the hole to keep it in place. worked like a peach and cost all of $6.

6/1/07 @ 10:33 am (reply)

10.

Guest

Miss Kiwi

These are all great tips everyone!! I had never thought of these things. Keep ‘em coming!

6/1/07 @ 10:34 am (reply)

11.

Guest

Amy

Great tips! I can’t wait to read more.

6/1/07 @ 10:47 am (reply)

12.

Guest

Miss Snow Pea

Yes, MRS’s, please add to this. I would love to read it and make a note of things. I love to be super on top of things.

**I have to second what n said about making a contact info package** At my MOH’s wedding, it was like only SHE knew/had the number of lets say the limo driver. When a million things were going on and she was taking pics, ppl were bugging HER because she was the only person who knew who/where/how to contact him. I plan on making a contact sheet of family and vendors, esp for those coming from OOT or have some tasks that day to do for us. Including spouses!!! My MOH’s husband for example might the actual person to drop this off or drive here whereas my MOH will be WITH me.

In addition, she left the programs at home because no one knew what they looked like (they were in a VS bag). So if you plan on delegating things to people, PLEASE MARK THEM CLEARLY. Rather than shouting over the cell going it’s in the corner near the old bathroom that used to be the laundry room, next to the shoes, in a brownish orange bag with a green handle on it.

6/1/07 @ 10:48 am (reply)

13.

Guest

jessi

woot!!! thanks Miss Kiwi! Great tips everyone! I breezed through them, but will read them more in depth in a bit.

6/1/07 @ 10:50 am (reply)

14.

Guest

Iris

I think the church probably has a “usual” format they follow and are likely meaning to ask you who goes first/second/third among the bridesmaids. It all works out at the rehearsal, so don’t worry about it too much.

No one is going to worry if you don’t know the words to a prayer. I’m a new Catholic myself, and for some of the extra stuff, it’s OK to just wing it. If you want to fake it til you make it: Say the first two lines pretty loud, and then bow your head and mumble and move your lips. Or drag a half-second behind everyone else repeating what you hear.

6/1/07 @ 10:51 am (reply)

15.

Guest

You’re right - the cake cutting doesn’t take long. We did it while the band was on break with recorded background music on - no special song required.

We used an LL Bean tote bag for cards. (We’re in Maine.) Unless you are really worried about someone snagging one of your cards, it might be easier on everyone to use a basket/bag/something with an open top. If you already have the box, you could set the lid to the side. No cutting required.

Do think about your processional, but remember there are standard formats, and if you honestly don’t have a preference, the church will follow the standard. No stress there.

Ushers - we had ours hand out programs as I only printed one per couple, not enough for everyone. They can also indicate that people can sit where they like instead of the traditional bride’s side and groom’s side. They can act more as greeters, that is a nice touch if you don’t feel the need for them to actually seat anyone.

Father/Daughter dance - select several songs of a variety and have him help chose. It’s his dance too, he should have input.

Phew - you ask a lot of questions

6/1/07 @ 10:52 am (reply)

16.

Guest

Iris

Cake song tip: For those having a band, this is a great opportunity to have a special recorded song played because no one (NO ONE) is watching the band or dancing at this time. There are some songs/artists that just can’t be replicated by a wedding band, ya know? The music really just sets the mood and provides music on your video (if applicable).

6/1/07 @ 11:01 am (reply)

17.

Guest

Chrissie

Instead of a cardbox, we used a birdcage. Ours was a plain white one, but maybe you could add some leaves to one to make it very fall and festive.

We did do a special song for the cake cutting… The Sweetest Thing by U2. It totally wasn’t necessary, but we just wanted to be all punny.

Check with your church on the music. They may have a list of approved songs. We did not get married in a church, but I believe that some do not allow the Bridal March.

6/1/07 @ 11:03 am (reply)

18.

Guest

Iris

I agree w/ HC that the ushers help balance the bride/groom sides. We were advised 1 usher per 50 guests, and that worked. Our ushers were experienced veterans, so they knew what to do. The church coordinator will advise them at the rehearsal.

Oh, I hate to tell you but the “dum dum dadum” tune is from a Wagner opera, and is not a religious song so it might be on the church’s “do not play” list. There are about 3 other super-popular processional/recessional songs (SARAH, you are the music guru, help!), including Clarke’s Trumpet Voluntary, which is really nice, especially if your church has a good organ.

6/1/07 @ 11:09 am (reply)

19.

Guest

Miss Kiwi

Thanks again everyone! I think I had heard that about the wedding march… So I guess I’ll have to give a listen to the music choices the church gives us.