Weddingbee Blog

I get annoyed by presumptions like that too. I remember calling various venues when I first started wedding planning and whenever it came up that my fiance and I were Indian (usually because I would ask if I could bring in an outside caterer for Indian food), the catering manager would reply, “Oh and just so you know– there will be no problem having a fire during the ceremony!”. It used to bother me that there was an automatic assumption that all Indian people are Hindu (the Hindu ceremony involves a small fire) when it fact Indian people can be Muslim (like my fiance and I), Catholic (like my extended family), Christian, Jewish, Sikh or numerous other faiths.

But the upside is that I feel the wedding industry as a whole is honestly trying to learn more about the different customs and traditions that encompass Indian weddings, Chinese weddings, Jewish weddings, etc. At least so many catering managers knew that having a fire is an important element to a Hindu wedding and they were more than happy to accomodate that.

And even in terms of the Asian menu, at least more and more places are offering variety in their cuisine so people can have Asian, French, Spanish, Indian, or whatever food will make their guests happiest.

So I completely understand why you were not happy to see that email– but the upside is that small (admittedly awkward) steps are being taken to recognize the needs of brides of all ethnicities.

i don’t know…
while it’s true that many Asian or Asian-American couples choose not to have traditional Asian food at their weddings, many more in fact do. as a business just trying to put itself out there, can you blame them for advertising themselves especially to those that appear/sound to be Asian?
it’s a false presumption to be sure– that just because you’re Asian, you’re going to want Asian food– but nothing to be offended about, i think.

it’s like when my oldest sister got married to a guy with a dutch last name everyone got confused…everyone at work thought she was this blond white woman and she’s chinese so they were in for a shock. so does that mean since i’m changing to a “white”-sounding last name i will stop getting invitations to asian community network meetings and more invitations to DAR luncheons…?

As the eternal optimist, it is possible that this list went out to a general mass mailing list (from a bridal show or whatever) that had no connection to your name at all. They may just be offering the service as it is something they either specialize in or have received a number of inquiries about.

I agree with Clara. The letter wasn’t worded as if you would automatically want asian food (hence the double ?), it was worded as if you would be interested in asian food. Most asians (speaking as one) enjoy asian food. Its nothing to get offended about in my opinion.

Try not to let it bug you. I understand though…it’s annoying. I always run into that prob, only that I look Asian on the outside, but I’m Mexican on the inside. I’m mixed (Japanese, Filipino and Mexican) and marrying an Italian…I can’t wait to surprise even more people…lol.

lol, what the heck does that even mean?! people are so ignorant, don’t be mad, just laugh it’s all you can do.

i agree it’s annoying. i always get telemarketers calling me speaking in spanish just because of my last name. ughh, not all hispanics only speak spanish!

It’s grammatically incorrect too! “Asia” cannot be used as an adjective, it is a noun! That’s just wrong.

We went to a caterer who showed us some examples of their decorating the buffet table, one was an “oriental theme” with “oriental” food. I don’t think it bothered my fiance, who is asian, but we decided to go with someone else.