Wedding Blog
As Julie asked me in my post about wedding tips, I am doing the dollar dance. Being half-hispanic, I always thought this was part of the hispanic tradition, although my search online hasn’t turned up much to support this. Perhaps it’s just a tradition in our family? Mr. Kiwi’s sister had one at her wedding, and since we’re using her wedding as a guide for what will and won’t offend Mr. Kiwi’s relatives, we just assumed we were doing it, too.
Now, like I mentioned in my response to Julie, sometimes this “tradition” can be looked upon as greedy. The last wedding I went to (with another hispanic couple), had the wedding party soliciting each member of the table–give money whether or not you’re going to dance. By the time they got around to me, I just paid them to leave. I don’t think it should be handled this way. I don’t want to force people to dance with me. Heck, I’d be just as happy sitting at my table eating cake, with no mention of dollars or cash of any kind.
When I told my mom that we were thinking of not doing a dollar dance, she looked shocked. “Mi’ja (forgive me for the spelling of this, I’ve only been called this, but don’t know how to spell it), you have to. It’s tradition, and you’re the first one to marry!” To be honest, I think she’s been planning this since I got to be marrying age. Since there has been very little that she’s requested, we are doing the dollar dance.
Many may accuse me of not actively participating in my cultures, and only taking those traditions that I “like”. I’ll get to that in another post, but let me just say that it’s very hard to include different aspects of your history and background, when you don’t know much about it. I only know what has been taught to me, and this dollar dance is something that has been done in our families since way back. So, as we get closer, I’m learning more about what makes me what I am, and seeing how I can incorporate this.
After searching many different sites, I came upon “Borderlands” an El Paso Community College history project, all about the customs of hispanic brides in this day and age, when couples try to tie in various aspects of their culture, while still maintaining their American identity as well..
There is a ton of information on that site, but when I looked up the dollar dance, this is what came up.
“Guests are encouraged to line up for a lively dance with the bride or groom. A bridesmaid or groomsman will hand the next dancer a straight pin so then he or she can attach a dollar (or higher denomination) bill to the bride’s or groom’s garments. With this custom friends and family can assist in starting the new couple’s household.”
Are you doing a dollar dance?
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I’m not having a dollar dance; it isn’t part of the culture of my family or the grooms family. However, it absolutely makes sense that you’re doing one since it is part of your families’ traditions (your specific families… I think that matters less than various aspects of your ethnic heritage in stuff like this) and you’re okay with it.
On the flip side, I have objections to shark’s fin soup, so I’m not having it at the wedding day reception my fiance and I are hosting and funding, but my mom insisted on having it at the post honeymoon reception she’s hosting, since she believes it’s essential to this kind of celebration. Couldn’t persuade her otherwise, so oh well.
I had never heard of the dollar dance until I moved to the south so I always thought it was just a southern tradition. When I saw it I thought it to be incredibly greedy- guests have already spent money traveling, paying for hotel fees, getting a gift, etc. so why have them pay any more money?
However… if this is something that’s part of your culture and that your family is accustom to and is a tradition that has been done at other weddings you’ve been to, then I think it’s important to uphold that tradition. Perhaps you can put your own spin on it in some way?
Thanks for the post, Miss Kiwi!
I never would have guessed it to be a Hispanic tradition. I grew up in central Pennsylvania where it is a Polish tradition (although I have a bit of Polish in me, I will not be doing one — we are sticking with just Jewish traditions for our wedding). I think it’s very interesting that you will be pinning the dollars to your clothes — going back to the Polish roots, a bridesmaid always wears a traditional, old-fashioned apron with pockets, and stashes away the dollar bills in the pockets.
Like I said in my previous comment, the wedding I was just at was able to pull off the dollar dance without looking remotely greedy, so as long as your bridal party doesn’t harass guests, I am sure it is a tradition that everyone will enjoy! Plus, who doesn’t like those extra dollar bills to buy some last minute snacks at the airport??
No, we’re not, it’s not part of either of our traditions. But I have no problem with it if your family expects it. Personally, I think if leaving anything out will make your mother cry, put it in. The only thing my mom asked for was “It’s a Wonderful World” played somewhere, so we’re doing to for the cake cutting.
Besides, when you know a tradition is a little cheesy, do it with a smile and the knowledge that it’s cheesy. Enjoy it! Get into it.
I think with any of the traditional things (whether or not they make you feel ooky), it’s totally your personal call whether to do it or not, but it might be in your best interest to warn your friends who may not share your background that it’s going to happen and why. I’ve been to two weddings where all the cultural minutiae were spelled out in the program, so some traditional thing would happen, and half the guests would go flipping through the program to see what the heck it was, where it came from, and what it meant. You can certainly do that here: you say look, we’re going to do a dollar dance, not because we’re trying to bilk you for more than you’ve already put out, but because we’re paying homage to this aspect of our heritage. You could also send the collected funds to a charity, making that clear ahead of time, and if you’ve got some rich uncle or something, badger him into matching funds. Anyone who thought the dance was tacky would certainly have to grant you that you made the best of it.
so funny I am part Mexican myself and YES a dollar dance has been done at every Mexican wedding I have ever been to. Although I never was in a situation that if I did not dance someone tried to get my dollar irregardless=) For my wedding in Sept. I was going to incorporate this but since my FI is Chinese he said his family expects us to go around to each table make a toast and that people will give us money in envelopes SO I told my family that it was the same idea just different process..so we are doing the toast by table instead…honestly I think it is harmless. Whomever doesn’t want to participate just won’t and leave it at that. Some people are just more comfortable giving gifts not money. FYI I also have prepped my guest for this Asian tradition so they are not surprised by it. Vamos Baila!
I’m Cuban-American and I’ve seen the money dance at several family weddings, I’ve been to family weddings where the money dance is left out and I’ve been to weddings, where couples who aren’t Hispanic, do the money dance. I think that it’s a tradition that crosses many cultures. If it’s something that you’re willing to do for Mami, than go for it. BTW - I think it’s totally ok to only choose the traditions that you’re ok with. I’m not doing the money dance, but I’d like to incorporate the mantilla ceremony.
Funny, my mom thought the dollar dance was an Italian tradition! Wikipedia claims it was started in Poland, but there are no footnotes to back that up with. Anyhow, my mom wanted me very badly to have a dollar dance too, but I said no. I understand the tradition, and if we were a couple starting out with no money and just starting to set up a new life together, I’d say yes. But as it is, we’re pretty set up already and our guests are coming from pretty far away and I just wouldn’t be comfortable doing this.
My fiance did make a point that he thought it would be nice that everybody would have a chance to talk to the bride while they danced with her. I agree with him that this is a nice benefit of keeping with the tradition, but since we have to be out of our reception place by a certain time, I also didn’t like the idea of how long it would take to do the dollar dance either.
It’s funny you said that the internet research doesn’t seam to support the fact it’s tradition. I am Polish and my Fiance is Filipino and since I had been on the fence about doing the doallr dance i did some research too. I found that both cultures seem to say it’s tradition. Here’s a link about how it ties to Hispanic culture http://www.epcc.edu/nwlibrary/borderlands/10_wedding_traditions.htm
I’m Hispanic, and we’re doing a dollar dance. At first I was wary because I thought it was kind of gauche, but after speaking to both sides of the family we decided to do one since no one seemed to be offended, and yes, it is a tradition. We’re definitely not having bridesmaids and groomsmen asking for money though 
I never understood why some people consider the dollar dance to be greedy. Many of these same people have gift registries with items that cost MUCH more than $1! Seems hypocritical to me…
These days, a dollar can’t even buy you half a latte or a scoop of ice cream from a parlor. What’s the big deal?!
I think the dollar dance sounds like fun! And the fact that it’s part of your tradition just makes it even more significant. Have fun with it!
Yes, we are having it. My fiance is hispanic and says it’s tradition. I fought him for a while but finally gave in. Like he said, people don’t have to do it and if they do they can give $1- that’s not going to break the bank for people.
you can always pass out dollars for everyone if you feel uncomfortable asking people for money.
the money dance is also often done in korean weddings as well, but people give up to several hundred dollars! my friend made thousands!
i really have no problem with the money dance - it’s a tradition in many families and cultures and often times it ends up being a lot of fun.
This is what we are doing… I REALLY REALLY wanted a dollar dance.. They have been at most weddings I have gone to but I don’t want it for tradition I want it because I have a ton of Uncles, cousins and friends I will want to dance with but will not have the time to do so if it was not for this. Plus I think it is a great way to get some good photos and a little (all be it 20 seconds) with some of my guests.
My fiancé and I knew his mother would not be for it and she would think we were “pan handling again” so we compromised and decided to do a “helpful hint dance” (not sure it that is what we are going to call it or not) but we will put a little card on each table that reads “A Girl meets a boy and they fall in love. Then comes marriage, a gift from above. Now they need some hints to guide them on their way. And make their marriage extra special everyday.” and they need to give us advice in order to dance with us… we may give them the option if they do not want to write something to give us a dollar but that was our compromise.
Let me know what you guys think about this idea.
We did not do a dollar dance, but we skipped a number of traditions also. The one thing that weddings I have been to have done in the past though is to have a bridesmaid and a groomsman collect the dollar - the thought of all those pinholes in my dress would have given me hives.
Hi!
I’m having a “Money Dance” at our wedding in September. I’m of Filipino descent and born in Canada. My fiancé is Czech but came here as a child.
Filipino weddings have adopted the “Money Dance” from the Hispanics and it’s actually expected at Filipino weddings.
The Czech tradition has the bride carrying a small blanket like a baby. The guests come up to her and put money in the small basket as a symbol of supporting the start of the couple’s new family.
I’ve been to over 125 weddings (I perform at weddings) over the years. The most successful money dance in terms of not boring your guests to tears as well as in terms of $ is to:
1) Not forget to bring the straight pins with plastic ball tips.
2) Have the MC introduce the money dance with an explanation of the tradition as to not offend those who don’t know about the tradition.
3) Most importantly, have people dance around the bride and groom doing the Money Dance. This way, guests aren’t just sitting around watching the lineup of guests wanting to dance with the bride or groom.
This also works in collecting more money because guests will be more inclined to dance with the bride or groom if more people are on the dance floor - PLUS the Money Dance can go on for more songs as it’s not slowing down the party.
we didn’t have one. there’s a lot of different names for this dance… dollar dance, money dance, honeymoon dance…
I’m african-american and we are having a money dance. We call it spraying. We have it at all african celebrations. I have no problem with it. We don’t force people to participate. Those that want to do.
I have never been to a wedding with a dollar dance or even heard of them. I’m now very curious about it. I think it’s smart that people are including in the programs explainations about cultural wedding traditions.
I have seen the dollar dance done at weddings in San Francisco, Boston, and at all of my family’s weddings in Maine (we’re french canadian). It has never seemed greedy to me but we are opting not to do it at ours because we are trying our best to “lay low” on the big day. I know that sounds crazy but as we are both prone to anxiety we are not doing anything that puts us on the dance floor and at the center of attention.
Have fun with this! I just got married in April, and I’m a Caucasian girl from Seattle… no family or cultural traditions aided in the decision to go ahead with this. My advice is to keep it low-pressure, make it fun, don’t involve your bridal party (hassling guests), and those who want to participate will!
Remember, your wedding will FLY by, and all these people you are sooo excited to see and get a moment with will all of a sudden be in the same room on the best day of your life. This is a fun chance for some of those people to steal a moment or two with you away from anyone else. I wouldn’t have gotten to share a special few moments with some of my favorite people had we not done this. People often use it as a moment to give you advice, tell you how happy they are for you, and just be a part of your story in a cool way that otherwise wouldn’t have been possible. It can be so sweet.
And call me greedy if you want, but driving away from our reception and discovering an extra $700 to help with honeymoon costs was SUCH a fun surprise!
We’re doing it because it’s a family tradition. Never thought twice about it untilt he Knot! No one is forced to participate and really, I would never shun someone who came to dance with me during the dollar dance and didn’t bring money. How could you!?! Lots of my uncles come prepared and expect it, so it’s not just a dollar in some cases.
Once a friend and I even went up to the bride with five dollars and all three of us danced. Sometimes I don’t dance with the groom…so really, it can be whatever you want it to be.
Yes, the dollar dance is part of our Hispanic culture and we’ve celebrated this tradition at all our family weddings.
My husband and I have been married for 36 years. Just like throwing rice for luck (of course, rice has been replaced with bubbles, etc) the dollar dance is one tradition that was part of our wedding.
It was not about the money, but the goodwill provided by friends and family alike. And, it was so much fun because “pinning” the dollars became a source of laughter and lots of creativity by our guests.
So enjoy!
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Mrs. Kiwi, Los Angeles
Age and Occupation in 06: 27, Bookkeeper
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 27, P.E. Teach/Coach @ private schools in LA
Engagement Date: March 31, 2006
Wedding Date: November 3, 2007
Venue: Radisson Hotel
About Me: I'm a bookkeeper who failed high school algebra. I'm currently living in Los Angeles, literally a street over from where I grew up with Mr. Kiwi, my honey of three years. We have a jumbo mini-dachshund (seriously, he's huuuuge), and we're planning an autumn themed wedding on a shoestring, paid for by ourselves. The wedding date is my late grandma's birthday, I needed her there somehow, and that seemed like the best way for us. I can't believe I'm a Bee! I couldn't be more proud!
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