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When Mr. Tomato and I first discussed what sort of wedding we would like, I confessed my desire for a small (50 ppl) wedding with only our immediate family and closest friends.
“Um,” he said, “But I have 100+ relatives…”
Ah, the art of compromising. I felt like I had to give in, especially since his parents were footing most of the bill and they would be insulted if we didn’t invite everyone. But I really didn’t want a big wedding. So I wondered, how much could I insist on a small guest list without being completely inconsiderate?
It took a lot of arguing before we came up with the brilliant, unoriginal solution: Have a small, intimate ceremony/reception followed by a large reception for his relatives. So that is why we’re having a small wedding in Rutherford, CA on July 1 and a large reception in Southern California on July 4 (ironic that it’s Independence Day when we’re celebrating our Un-Independence) a few days later. It works out really well, because most of his relatives live in SoCal anyway, so now they don’t have to travel very far.
And so, here are my reception-only cards…(don’t worry, I sent these out a month ago!)
I’ll have to confess that I had a friend help me with the floral motif and map, since I’m not particularly Adobe Illustrator savvy (yet). I think they came out quite well, don’t you think? Mr. Tomato rounded the paper edges with one of those corner punches available at craft stores (I borrowed mine from a friend).
The paper and envelopes came from envelopemall.com. The paper was Stardream No.10 in Aquamarine and is $11.75 for 100. The envelopes were Pastel Linen in Blue and is $11.50 for 100. Total cost was just under $25–not too shabby for 70+ invitations! (Good thing a lot of his relatives are married so we didn’t have to make 100+ invitations…)
Those are really cute 
I love the simplicity of them.
My friends did something simiar when they got married. They had close friends and family to the wedding and dinner. Then had a “reception” following dinner with sandwiches and drinks for the extra friends. I thought it was an interesting concept as they couldn’t have everyone at the dinner but still were able to celebrate with all their friends at some point during the day. It also helped on keeping the costs down.
Hi Miss Tomato! I’m still thinking of options for how the whole wedding will be done and was considering doing the small ceremony/dinner and big reception later. My family is much much larger than my fiance’s and I’m worried that doing this may hurt the feelings of the reception only family. Did you have this type of problem? If so, I would love if you could share. For example, there is one cousin in particular who has been really supportive of my relationship with my fiance, but the other 20 cousins don’t know him. I dont’ think inviting one cousin without inviting the others is proper, so I’m at a loss.
Maybe I’ll just have to grit my teeth and have a big wedding.
Where did you have them printed? If you printed them yourself, what kind of printer do you have?
They look beautiful!
As far as I can tell, people tend to be genuinely supportive when you explain that you’re planning a small event. Inviting my mom’s cousins would have meant 30+ additional people from her side alone, and we’d probably need to invite my dad’s cousins. When we went to a party with that whole crowd the month after the engagement, conversations went a lot like this:
Them: When’s the wedding?
Me: Uh…we’re thinking next summer.
Them: Fantastic! Where?
Me: Uh…we’re thinking his parents’ house on Cape Cod.
Them: *gasp* Beautiful! Or so I hear. I’ve never been. Isn’t it terribly expensive?
Me: Uh…well…we were thinking kind of a small wedding, so…
Them: *gasp* Oh, wonderful.
I like to think that “Oh, wonderful” had a lot behind it, you know?
Miss Tomato,
What type of site are you having your guests RSVP at? I’m really interested in doing this for my own RSVPs, but I don’t have a clue how to set up a website and RSVP compiler. Thanks!
The invitations are beautiful!
I sometimes feel I am the ONLY person down here in the south planning a family only ceremony with a family reception a month afterwards! Everyone is so excited to hear I’m getting married and then I have to “break the news” of IMMEDIATE family only! Oh, the gasps, looks, and questions I receive. From the “well who IS invited” to the “I thought you of all people would have a big fancy wedding”. Uh NEGATIVE. Yeah I thought about it at one time BUT i have since changed my mind. Am I allowed to do that?
FI’s family is HUGE! His brother was married in february and had a SMALL wedding on a friday night and there were over 100 people on the groom’s side alone! Could you imagine a BIG wedding’s guest list? THink about the $ to feed them!!!! I’d much rather have the money towards a house, thank you very much!
I’m looking forward to your reply about the printer and the RSVP site because I may have to “borrow” =) your idea for the reception card! I’m confused to how I should word the invitation:
Bride’s parents invite you to a reception celebrating the marriage of
J and M “Last name”
or
J “maiden name” and M “last name”
Because technically we will be married and I am taking his last name. Thanks!
Hello, Mr. Tomato here!
The RSVP website is something I did with my mad engineering skillz because I wanted to do something somewhat geeky for the wedding (and also save postage). Unfortunately, it’s not something one can easily set up, as it requires some actual programming. If you know an engineer, maybe he/she can hook you up.
However, I think there are other websites out there that provide a similar service, such as theknot.com.
We printed the invitations, after MUCH trial and error, on gigantic HP LaserJet printers from the office. Hope that helps!
Mr./Mrs. Tomato,
Any tips on how to print small sized invitation cards like the one you guys used for this invitation on a laser printer?
Dear Mr. Tomato,
I’m looking to set up a similar RSVP system on our website, but am wondering if you’re willing to share your code with me. I’m very familiar with PHP/MySQL, so I have that part down. Thanks for your assistance!
those are so cute! great idea.
i’m freaking out b/c the envelopes at envelopemall are so much CHEAPER (like 60 bucks cheaper) than the ones i bought and they look nicer. argghh.
actually ignore my last post about the price. i can’t do math and i actually paid only .15 per envelope. phew. but envelope mall ones do look nicer.
Helen,
We used the manual feed tray. We had to specify a paper size larger than what it really was, and then trial and error to make the layout work.
Ben, I will be in touch with you.
Mr. Tomato, you can e-mail me at bstritesky ——–at——- fastmail —-dot—fm
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Mrs. Tomato, Napa Valley Age and Occupation: 25, Technology Project Manager Fiance's Age and Occupation: 27, Engineer Engagement Date: October 22, 2006 Wedding Date: July 1, 2007 Blogging Since: May 1, 2006 Venue: Auberge du Soleil About Me: I love all things beautiful. From handmade stationery, feminine fashion and delicate flowers to the little moments in your life treasured with your loved one. I am also notorious among my friends to be a deal hunter! My best deal was perhaps my Monique Lhuillier dress for $1100 (orig. $5000). I also tend to use a lot of exclamation marks! =)
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