Weddingbee

I just wanted to give you props, Miss Pumpkin. Down’s Syndrome is an issue near and dear to me, as my brother (he’s 23) has it. He’s a groomsman in the wedding, and he’s really excited about it.

Also, your niece is adorable! I love her hair. :o)

Hey Jenbug,
I hear ya. When my niece was born with DS we went through such a rollercoaster of emotions but now we celebrate every victory as she grows up and that little girl brings an indescribable amount of joy to all of us. We are so lucky that she was given to us!

Have you seen this short story? I love it because it explains exactly how it felt. I guess since you probably weren’t there when your brother was born this might not help to explain your feelings but, then again, maybe it does! Anyhow, here it is:

Welcome To Holland
by Emily Perl Kingsley

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability – to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It’s like this…

When you’re going to have a baby, it’s like planning a fabulous vacation trip – to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It’s all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, “Welcome to Holland.”

“Holland?!?” you exclaim. “What do you mean, Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I’m supposed to be in Italy. All my life I’ve dreamed of going to Italy.”

But there’s been a change in the flight plan. They’ve landed in Holland, and there you must stay. The important thing is that they haven’t taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine, and disease. It’s just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you never would have met.
It’s just a different place. It’s slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you’ve been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around…and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills…Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy…and they’re all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. For the rest of your life, you will say, “Yes, that’s where I was supposed to go. That’s what I had planned.”

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever go away…because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But…if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn’t get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things…about Holland.

Excerpts of Stories by or About Persons with Down Syndrome
Copyright Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved.