Wedding Blog

Absolutely the most frustrating part of this whole process has been negotiating with Mr. Pumpkin and Momma Pumpkin to try to make everyone happy. I think that we are all pretty clear on the fact that Mr. Pumpkin and I will be making the final decisions and that input is certainly welcome in all areas of planning, but nobody seems able to articulate the reasonings behind their answers to my questions. My problem is particularly with the word “no”.

I loathe the word. I cannot stand it! Well actually, I should rephrase that. I hate the word “no” without any sort of explanation accompanying it. If you are going to say “no” then you had better be able to tell me why. Lately these are the kinds of conversations I have been having:

#1
Me: Hey, what do you think about cutting down the late lunch to only cheeseburgers and sweet potato fries?
Momma: No.
Me: *blank stare for about a minute…* What do you mean “no”?
Momma: I don’t like it
Me: Okay…….., why don’t you like it?
Momma: I don’t know…
Me: Okay! Great! I am going to go jump off the roof now.

#2
Me: Okay Mr. Pumpkin, we need to talk about wrapping the attendants gifts
Mr. P: When are we giving them to them?
Me: At the rehearsal dinner
Mr. P: No
Me: *blank stare for about a minute…* What do you mean “no”?
Mr. P: I don’t like that
Me: Okay……, why not?
Mr. P: I don’t know….
Me: Okay! Great! I am going to go play in traffic for a while.

I am all for dissenting opinions and discussions to try to find the right or best way to do something, but you then have to explain yourself if you are going to disagree! At least offer up an alternative or solution to the problem at hand! I no longer have the time to try to figure out what everyone else means, likes or dislikes and why.

My new rule, as communicated to both Momma Pumpkin and Mr. Pumpkin, is that you can disagree with me all you want to, I am totally open to new suggestions or other ways to do whatever we are doing, but you are no longer allowed to say “no” as a one word answer to anything. It must be a “No, I don’t like that because ________, what if we tried this………?” kind of answer.

Have you had any major communication breakdowns in your planning? If so, how are you navigating through all of the opinions and suggestions (or lack thereof)?

* Sam Cooke