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Katy I like the first way - five thirty in the evening. I think it’s entirely up to you and what you prefer.
Urigio I do not think it’s rude. I think it’s only a recent trend that more people (other than bridal party + family) are invited to rehearsal dinners. Maybe you could give them some kind of handout or pamphlet with suggestions for other local activities, restaurants, bars, etc, so they don’t feel like they’re abandoned in their hotel room. I totally feel your pain, I don’t see the point in having a rehearsal dinner that is essentially a replica of the guest list for the wedding.
ForSure510 - before you do what it sounds like you are about to do (for centerpieces with live animals in them), check out the knot boards (I believe the “reception ideas” board). There are some really strong arguments against using live animals in your centerpieces. Something to consider.
I have been leading two ‘girl groups’ for adolescent girls for the past four years and have really been involved in the girls’ lives. I think they’re more excited than anyone for my upcoming wedding. I want them there , but the problem is that there are 20 of them and spending $100 a head on each of them is impossible. Anyone teachers or mentors had this problem before? What’s the graceful way to handle it?
Add to the beehive…
Does anyone have a reference for a hairstylist or makeup artist in Palm Springs? Preferably one that would come to the site that morning/afternoon.
Thanks!
ForSure510– ditto LS, the goldfish centerpieces have been a huge source of flaming and general controversy for a while now. Without getting into details, here are the basics:
1) the stress can make the fish die. Not attractive, and poor fish!
2) what will happen to the fish afterwards? What if no one wants to take them home?
They make some cool glass fish you could use instead… they’re even hung from little blown glass floaters so they look like they’re swimming.
Christine, that is a real bummer, I’m so sorry to hear of your predicament.
The good news is that your wedding date is still a long ways off and so there’s still lots of time to find a good venue. Presumably when you did your original venue search, you checked out more than one location - why not just book your second choice and be done with it? If you didn’t check out other locations, I say make a list of a few other nice locations in your area and make appointments to go and visit them. Maybe take a few days off to feel disappointed and then get back on it - I think the best thing to make the problem seem insignificant is to book a new venue and put the problem behind you.
We are hosting our own wedding and our own rehearsal dinner. Should we combine the rehearsal invites in our wedding invites? What if the wedding is a more formal shindig than the rehearsal?
TN: Better as a separate mailing, imho. Plus you can have a completely different/fun style to the rehearsal invite.
Gretchen, here’s a list of classes:
http://www.friendsofcalligraphy.org/pages/classes.html
Katy: Half past five
Urigio: Definitely not rude! In fact, that’s what rehearsal dinners used to be until people started to go wedding crazy 
ForSure: Please do not use live fish. In addition to the fish possibly dying in the middle of the dinner table, there’s also a likely chance they’ll poop and let’s be honest, fish poop on the dinner table is a gross thought.
Katy -
half after five o’clock
Does anyone know of a place where you can sell leftover craft items from your wedding? I have about 70+ mini green apple candles that I originally purchased from Hunt’s Candles for the place cards. (http://www.huntscandles.com/apples.mhtml?mgiToken=D7K0AFJ1C693D2)
It’s a shame to just let them go to waste so was looking for a bride-to-be who’s in the market for them.
c-girl, personally i’d be a little hestitant. i’d feel more comfortable being able to meet with the person making my dress to go over the pictures, fabric and questions we both may have. this is something better left to do in person. you have to factor in measurements [and i don't trust my own measuring abilities - i can measure something 3 times and get 3 different numbers!] and any alterations so that would be extra if you buy online.
i’ve only had a bridesmaid dress made but the bride met with the seamstress a couple times before having her start work on the dresses. have you thought about finding a local seamstress to make the dress? that could be an option as well. maybe you could talk to the people who left reviews for the seller and ask them about their experiences.
Angela, try:
http://community.livejournal.com/weddings_4_sale/
I know there was a girl who was talking about using those recently.
c-girl: i too think it might be a little risky. i’ve heard iffy things about dresses “made to order” from Ebay. why not try some local seamstresses first? that way you can really have much more of an involvement in picking fabrics and most importantly — fittings! call around and ask about experience with wedding dresses and photos if possible. good luck!!
c- girl…i wouldn’t trust e-bay on something like that. i had a $1000 dress replicated for $500 in NYC by a reputable bridal studio. i was nervous about it at first, but was reassured after they showed me samples that they had. i have yet to see the finished product…but the owner/employees have been absolutely wonderful with me from hair to make-up to quickly adjusting dresses in stock for my pre-wedding shoots. let me know if you want info: lcheung@acsdny.org
Katy - I like “five thirty” more but I’m sure you can go either way since there doesn’t seem to be a consensus here.
question for the hive…my FI’s birthday is also our wedding day…would be hard to forget our anniversary, lol….but would love to hear ideas on how to surprise him with something birthday related…I don’t want to stick to the normal birthday cake routine
Hi, Is there a lighting company that doesn’t have to cost $2K in NY? I’m from Long Island, NYC area etc… and would love to find someone/company who can do simple lighting for under $1000. We were thinking of buying some lighting equipment ourselves (renting) but I do want to research more. Can anyone recommend something?
thanks~
We have a post-reception plan for the fish (my parent’s have a pond that gets new goldfish added to it every year) and are comfortable with/have lots of experience dealing with goldfish because of this and having them as pets for years. I know all of the possible downfalls of having live fish centerpieces, but am just really looking to find this specific photo of them.
thanks!
SP~ We are doing the same thing and simply including an insert in the invites for the hometown gang that say “The pleasure of your company is requested at a Wedding Reception for…yadda yadda yadda”
c-girl- I would not trust eBay to get your dress made. READ the feedback. The only reason people don’t leave FULL ON negative feedback is because they don’t want the seller to give negative feedback to them. If you read the NEUTRAL ratings, you’ll see that people had problems. Go to someone you can trust in your area. Hope that helps!
katy - It’s “half after five o’clock” Past is used for funerals and after is used for weddings.
Southern Californians, I need your help! My friend’s getting married this month, and wants to have an after-party. We’re looking for a loungy, kick-back place. I suppose a place like D&B’s, where there’s things to do, but a little more classy. Any suggestions? We’ll be in the L.A. county, near Rowland Heights. Thank u!
Christine -
When is your date? I had to change my venue only about 4-5 months prior to my date and had to change my date to 2 weeks later. We ran around for a week looking and found a wonderful place. And because the date was so close they gave us a discount. They didn’t have our original date available so we had to change it. Luckily I hadn’t ordered my invitations yet…:)
ForSure510 -
I concur about the goldfish idea. That was my original idea, but my sis brought up the fact that who will take the goldfish and who will take care of the fish if they’re not taken. Also it’s really bad looking for the centerpiece to have dead goldfish floating around.
I settled on a infinity bowl with silk flowers stuffed inside (you can match the colors to the wedding color theme) and float some candles on top. They sell them at http://www.Illumination.com. They looked really nice and everyone snatched them up…:)
We used five-thirty — FI’s cousin did that for his wedding last month, and our wedding isn’t black-tie, super-formal. FI thought “half past three o’clock” sounded goofy for our invites, and i agree.
Angela–
You can always try selling those on Ebay or Craig’s List too.
My wedding is indoors, formal but black tie optional. I am looking for second dress that I can change into later because I love dancing and I want to feel comfortable dancing. Is it ok to wear a short white dress? What is the usual for this “reception dresses”? White and long? Or can it be whatever you choose? This is the dress I was thinking about:
Question:
We’re thinking of having the reception centerpieces taken to our church cemetery. Is there a proper way to let guests know not to take them? An instruction card on the tables maybe?
a friend of mine has told me she is engaged to be married, but i dont expect a wedding invitation from her. We’re not on bad terms or anything, we were friends but during/after college sorta fell out of touch until recently. Am I still obligated to get her a gift?
Sausita: Doesn’t sound like you are invited yet, so if you’re invited, no gift obligation. If you are invited, and even if you don’t attend, it’s still expected to send at least a card to say congrats, if not a gift.
(make that: so if you’re NOT invited, no gift obligation)
Question:
Southern Californians, I need your help! My best friend’s getting married this month, and wants to have an after-party. We’re looking for a loungy, kick-back place. I suppose a place like Dave & Buster’s, where there are things to do, but a little more classy. Any suggestions? We’ll be in the L.A. county, near Rowland Heights. Thank u!
Stacy: It depends whether your guests are into cemetery flowers. My friends and family are primarily super thrifty pragmatic people who don’t really do cemetery flowers (other than flowers picked from our own gardens, i.e., free) because they’d rather donate money to a charity. So, if that’s what you’re worried about, maybe it will help to have a perspective of how I think my guests would view it:
I wouldn’t announce that they are going to a cemetery specifically, but instead that they are being ‘donated’ (ambiguous). Here’s why: The kind of people (not cleptos, just close enough friends/family who would assume the centerpieces are for take-home, or super-practical thrifty people who don’t like seeing anything go to waste — This is my friends & family exactly!) might not take it well that flowers (expensive, already paid-for, reminder of their dear one’s wedding) that they would like to enjoy in their homes for the next few days are being left outdoors to the elements, squirrels, and thieves. Of course, it’s not their call to make or their flowers to take, BUT I’d just not provide them any ammunition for them to get hurt feelings over nothing when I’d already decided I want to leave them at a cemetery.
How to advise them? If B&G visit each table, it could be mentioned at that time, or if you have a coordinator/auntie type who’s the self-appointed hostess/coordinator, or your venue has an official coordinator, they could do brief table visits to say hello, mention where the restrooms are or what time dinner is served (or whatever), and mention the flowers will be donated (and can easily play ignorant that they don’t know where they are being donated).
Sorry so long. hth
Iris - thank you so much! I like your suggestion to make it more “ambiguous” We’re actually undecided just where the centerpieces/decorations will go. My FI was a boy scout and his troop always took flowers to the cemetery on Memorial Day so he suggested doing that for the flowers after the wedding. However FMIL also mentioned taking the flowers to a nearby children’s hospital or nursery home for them to enjoy.
Question for the Hive:
Does anyone know where this knottie’s bio is? I am pretty sure someone posted it on Weddingbee recently. I just can’t find it though. Thanks so much ladies!
Question for the Hive (continued):
Sorry, I should have also added this. Specifically, I am trying to find out what kind of dresses the black & white bridesmaids dresses are.
Disregard my question about the bridesmaid dresses. I’m a ditz and just realized it says so on theknot page. But I would still like to know if anyone know’s the knottie’s bio?
Angela,
My sister is looking for something very much like that in that exact quantity. Could you send the dimensions and possibly a pic, along with how much you’d like for them? The e-mail address is maija.and.rj at gmail dot com. Thanks!
Silly me, I saw the link in your message. Sorry! Still, e-mail if you’d like to sell them.
I’m also looking for a good makeup person in the Palm Springs area so I’m interested to see if anyone responds to Chrissie.
Also, our rehearsal dinner venue option is no longer going to work for us so looking for a new relatively inexpensive spot near La Quinta/Palm Desert area…does anyone have any suggestions?
Moraht- If you are having a church/temple/etc (or one not at the reception site, I guess) wedding, they can surely come to the ceremony, but skip out on the reception… IE the expensive part. This is a good way to involve these girls but to keep costs down.
I’ve done this numerous times as a guest, at the bride/hosts invitation. It’s nice to be thought of!
Katy I was told that anything before 6pm is stil considered afternoon. I have the same time and I am still unsure. But, I know I will be writing it out as “five-thirty in the”
NO LIVE FISH PLEASE
If you would like to sell me your green apple mini candles. Please contact me at shk3175@gmail.com
Thanks!
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Beehive
Feature Launched: Aug 31, 2006
About: A forum for readers to post questions and get feedback from the hive, aka the weddingbee community.
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