Wedding Blog
My aunt has gifted me with Hallmark Magazine. Although I love crafts and things like that, I thought this magazine would be a little touchy-feely (it IS Hallmark, after all). Imagine my surprise when I see an article called “Scenes from a Marriage”. In this article (able to be read here), a woman tells of her 20 year marriage to her second husband, a man who was her soulmate.
Since the start of her life with her husband (Marsh), she had kept a list of the nice-guy/good husband things he did or said. Every Valentine’s day she’d make copies of the year’s list and put them in a card. Not just listing the items so he could see the soulful things he had done and said, she also listed these items so she could turn to them in times of stress and tough roads ahead. In 20 years, the list had turned into 110 handwritten pages, and it was named “Remember the Sweet Things”.
Included in her list is the first dinner he ever made them, how he gave her a gift every month for 10 months to help ease her into her 40th birthday, him turning the heater on in her car on a cold morning, ice cleaned off, snow shoveled. Although just lists, these actions or words tell of a marriage that was a dream. This is the kind of thing we aspire to. Being 15 years older than she was, he passed away from Parkinson’s disease in the 20th year of their marriage. Despite his passing, she still received a bouquet of dahlias on her 60th birthday, with a card reading “Happy Birthday with undying love, Marsh.” The previous spring he had asked his daughter to remember to send them for him, even if he wasn’t there any longer.
As the story ends, something she said touched me deeply, that although he was passing on they would meet again when they needed each other badly, just as they had in this lifetime. This is a marriage that also had imperfections, but keeping a list of the meaningful and also mundane things that touch you keeps the marriage alive.
In reading this Hallmark article, I’ve found something that I hope to use in my own marriage. I’m thinking that I’ll start listing before the wedding (maybe the final week before the ceremony), and give him my list every anniversary. Even though I read a lot, this article has touched me like no other. Perhaps it’s my upcoming wedding that makes me a little bit more susceptible to cheese, but I think that a marriage isn’t made up of just momentous actions and words, it’s also made up of small things, like him giving you the last cracker in the box.
Is there anything you plan to do once you’re married? Something like keeping a journal or leaving notes for him?
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Share this post: From Hallmark - A Love Story Later In Life
That is an amazing idea! Thank you for sharing - I think I’ll start my list today!
What a tear-jerker! I hope my marriage has at least a fraction of the love and devotion that couple had in such a short time together. Thanks for sharing this, Miss. Kiwi!
Mine is a little backwards from that - We’re getting married in just over 6 months, and I plan on starting a journal 6 months to the day before the wedding. I’m going to write how I feel about him on any given day, include song lyrics, bible verses, poem quotes, anything that makes me think of him. Then I’m going to give it to him as a groom’s gift! I’m really excited about it…I love the list ides, too! I might have to include that…
i read that article and it was really sweet. when I first dated Mr. Violet, I did keep a little notebook of things he did for me that was sweet.. but then I got lazy and forgot about it.. But i think it would be nice to start it up again perhaps once we get married.
And I already surprise him with little post it notes in his lunch bag.
OK. I’m crying.
What a wonderful idea. Jerry has always been a ‘card’ person, while I never really was. So now, i try to leave a card on his windshield or by the bathroom mirror once in a while to let him know I love him even when I am not there to say it. 
I love that idea! It’s so easy to forget those small things.
My fiance and I have been together since he graduated from high school (8 years ago next week!) and we both went to different colleges. We had a long-distance journal that we passed back and forth for 4 years where we wrote notes to each other. It is so special to have something like that and funny to remember how we were feeling at those moments when we just couldn’t wait to see each other every day. Reading it makes me appreciate the normalcy of just being together everyday.
This is so nice. I like to leave him notes in his suit case when he goes out of town. But I the #1 rule we have is a kiss good bye in the mornings as we each head out for work. In the rain, snow in the sun or even if we are in a hurry. We always kiss each other goodbye.
that is so sweet. i did something similar to that for our 2nd anniversary. on a backdrop, i had wrote 101 reasons of why i loved him, all the small things he did for me, of the 101, i wrote 24 in red. it was one for each month we’d been together. and elevated in the middle, i have 24 pics cut out in hearts collaged in the shape of a heart on top. i have a pic somewhere. but i absolutely love this idea from the article you read, it’s the small things that matter to me, it’s not always the grand gestures.
*wiping tears away* what a sweet, sweet story/idea. love it!
Wow, I was able to hold the tears back until you got to the dahlias……what a great makes a great relationship - the little things.
That’s such a lovely story. Thanks for sharing Miss Kiwi!
Can Weddingbee make a little icon to warn us when a post is going to be a tear-jerker!!!
That was so sweet and beautiful. My mom just called me and was worried about why I was sniffling. I had to explain the story to her and she started sniffling too!
Oh my gosh I got all teary eyed reading that story! Thanks so much for sharing!
Wow~ thanks for sharing! I can’t believe he had flowers sent even after his passing.
That is truly undying love.. so bitter sweet.
On the note of keeping notes~
I’ve been w/ my bf for almost a year now- Anniversary coming up next month!
And I kept notes of all the little things he did for me categorized by month~ so now I have 11 months worth of the sweetest things he’s done for me.
I am so glad I did that~ now I just need to see how I am going to put that together and give it to him on our anniversary!
any ideas?
I went out and bought a journal right after DH proposed to me, and filled it with my thoughts during the engagement. Then I gave it to him at the rehearsal dinner as a wedding gift. Then his gift to me was, starting on the honeymoon, to draw me a bubble bath once a week and read the journal out loud to me. We’re about half-way through it now, and it’s always the highlight of my week.
Ok, so when you got to the part about the flowers after he’s died killed me — tears in my eyes! That is a beautiful idea — I think I’ll try to do something similar.
My FI is the snow clearing type too — my laptop got so hot lap would get red, so one day when the mail came I got a “lapinator” to help keep me cool! With less than 3 months to my wedding (86 days he told me yesterday — yes, HE is counting) I’m sure there will be plenty to write down.
Thanks for sharing Miss Kiwi!
thank you for sharing this story–it made me cry in my office, during my lunchbreak! similar to some of the previous comments, my fiance and i used to write notes to each other while we were long distance, each time we had to say good bye. now that we live together, i’ve gotten lazy with that tradition. i need to start it again…
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Mrs. Kiwi, Los Angeles
Age and Occupation in 06: 27, Bookkeeper
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 27, P.E. Teach/Coach @ private schools in LA
Engagement Date: March 31, 2006
Wedding Date: November 3, 2007
Venue: Radisson Hotel
About Me: I'm a bookkeeper who failed high school algebra. I'm currently living in Los Angeles, literally a street over from where I grew up with Mr. Kiwi, my honey of three years. We have a jumbo mini-dachshund (seriously, he's huuuuge), and we're planning an autumn themed wedding on a shoestring, paid for by ourselves. The wedding date is my late grandma's birthday, I needed her there somehow, and that seemed like the best way for us. I can't believe I'm a Bee! I couldn't be more proud!
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