Weddingbee
Hello weddingbee readers! It’s been a long time since I’ve blogged, but I read something yesterday on WB that piqued my interest. I’m talking about budgets, of course! In response to one of the comments, I’m going to break down my budget for you. Hopefully it will help some brides budget their wedding. Just a quick note - I don’t actually remember the exact amounts anymore, so these are the closest estimates that I could come up with.
Total Budget - $40,000
Reception: $22,000
Florist: $4,400
Photography and Video (excluding albums): $4,100
Invitations, STD’s, Programs, Menus: $1,000
DJ: $1,350
Officiant: $400
Tea Ceremony: $1,350
Wedding Dress (including alterations) & Shoes: $1,750
Groom’s Tux: $700
BM and GM (everything including clothes to gifts): $1,200
Hair & Makeup (for everyone): $600
Transportation: $1,600
Quartet: $500
Hotel for 2 nights: $1,000
Tips: $1,500
Other and Miscellaneous: $1,500
Total Cost: $44,950
We ended up going over by about 12%. I didn’t include things like facials to prepare my skin, the hair appointments prior to the wedding, wedding bands for both of us ($4,000), and personal training sessions. So we probably spent another $8,000 if you count that.
Did I think that my budget was “high”? Well, no….not for NYC anyway. I’ve been to weddings that cost much more, but I’ve also been to ones that cost much less. Personally, (and I am completely biased here!) I think $40 to $50K is not an unreasonable amount for a NYC wedding. I’m sure I could have had a much cheaper wedding if I didn’t have it in Manhattan, but Manhattan was just so much more convenient for everyone involved.
I probably did not need to stay at a hotel for 2 nights either- but then again, I just really needed to NOT be home before and after the wedding. Did I really need a 16 person limo to drive us around the day of to take pictures? Probably not. I could have probably spent a lot less on the florist - but I loved her work! I also probably didn’t need the string quartet to play for an hour - but I wanted that too! At the end of the day, I probably could have scrimped on a lot of things which would have saved me about $6,000 ~ $10,000 without changing the location.
My parents gave me about half to help me pay for the wedding, and we came up with the other half. We truly consider ourselves to be very lucky because we were able to afford the wedding of our dreams.
Whatever your budget may be, I think the most important thing is this: that the memories of your wedding day brings a smile to your face when you are old and gray. I know mine will. 
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my budget is closer to mrs blueberry’s but we spent closer to what you did on mr. popcorn’s tux since he plans on keeping it and wearing it again.
I appreciate your willingness to reveal the cost of your wedding. It really helps brides like me understand just exactly *how* things start adding up and what the financial obligations are for the types of wedding we’re envisioning. Thanks, Mrs. Butterfly!
you are so brave for sharing this!
nyc bride here and i’m still looking for an officiant and quartet…what you paid seems reasonable, mind sharing who you used?
I wholeheartedly agree with your last statement!! It’s the memories that count the most.
BTW, I think I’m in the wrong career - I really should become an officiant - judging by recent posts and prices I’ve been quoted, it looks like they average about $200+ per hour!!
Thanks for this–my wedding budget looks much like yours, and I agree that it is not at all extravagant in NYC–in fact, I feel I am cutting out a lot of things I would like to have in order to make this “small” budget!
I think for these budget breakdowns it would be helpful to know how many guests were at the wedding–I am wondering, for example, how much of the difference between Mrs. Butterfly’s and Mrs. Blueberry’s receptions came down to guest count and how much to location.
Thanks for sharing 
One of the things that frusrates me the most when searching venues is that no one posts the cost associated with it and sites don’t always make it clear what all the hidden charges/inclusions are either. Plus, I had no idea how much a florist would charge, what it’d cost for special lighting, DJ etc…
I love seeing budget breakdowns, and hope no one will judge others on what they do and don’t spend It’s really VERY helpful. Thanks so much Mrs. Butterlfy!
Nopinkertons–well, to try and answer that question, I think there are several factors. For one, my wedding had about 120 guests–not sure how that compares to Mrs. Butterfly’s. For another, a large part of the reason we saved so much money was the fact that we didn’t do a sit-down dinner, or a buffet dinner, or hors d’ourves, or anything like that: we had that super-delicious dessert buffet instead. So I think comparing costs might be an apples-to-oranges issue. Also, we didn’t work with a caterer: of course, a bakery did the wedding cake, and we hired someone for the chocolate fountains, but the rest of the food was provided by us. That helped cut down on costs quite a bit
a note to brides out there:
we had the wedding of our dreams by going with something a bit unconventional. we held our reception at a restaurant in Beverly Hills that allows couples to rent the entire restaurant for LUNCH without any location fees, only the cost of food!
Our guests had: 3 different h’ordeuvres, lobster tail, spun salad, prime rib or halibut, and ice cream (with the cake) for only $60/per person. Including wine and gratuities, the total was just under $6,000 for 70 guests! My brother (who got married one year earlier) was shocked and kept saying what a great deal we got!
everyone ate like a king and thought we spent much more than we did! If you’re on a tighter budget, make sure to look around, you’ll find more deals than you think
My wedding was budgeted for 90 guests - for the reception and the flowers, etc. 9 tables.
as for the venue, i ended up getting a great deal for $170 per person with a minimum guarantee of 85 people - however, i couldnt do the december wedding that i wanted originally. i had to move it up to november - a less popular month. which was FINE by me!! =)
Thank you Mrs. Butterfly for the break down! That was one of the most helpful blogs I have read on weddingbee, given that I am a NYC bride. I agree with hm in that it is frustrating with the searching for a venue and nobody likes to post prices.
This was very useful as a guideline to see what range most wedding items fall in.
Just as note regarding future bee budget posts, we the readers, should use these as guidelines and not necessarily the real price we can go to a particular vendor with. There are a lot of negotiations, differences in packages, and of course, the yearly price hikes that goes into these budets.
Thanks for sharings. I think we are going to over too but I can’t think about that yet.
Mrs. Butterfly - I agree that your budget is very reasonable for a NYC wedding. That was our original budget too but we have gone WAY past our budget already. 
I was just wondering who you hired for your a. your florist and b. hair and makeup b.c $600 is very affordable for both (and they did such a great job too).
Thanks!
Red - the downside is that you don’t work a forty hour week. But if you are serious, and want to do this on the side, you can consider becoming a celebrant. See http://www.celebrantusa.com/ for more info.
Go Amie - That WOULD be a pretty cool side job….hmmm….
thanks very much for posting your budget breakdowns. it’s nice to actually see where and how the money is spent. i’d be interested in seeing the difference across the country. they’d be a lot more helpful and realistic than those typical wedding budget generators.
Thank you so much for posting this Mrs. Butterfly. It’s very helpful and I am going to do the same.
Hi Mrs. Butterfly,
I was wondering where you were able to find the quartet and officiant at such a reasonable price. Where did you look? I have done a lot of research and it seems all the ones I found are way more expensive. Any info. will help greatly. Anyone else out there found great deals on these two areas??? Hahahha. Thanks!
Thanks for the interesting post. I’m not sure if you are paying for all of that or if it a combination of people, but sometimes I just honestly wonder, am I the only one that doesn’t have $40,000 laying around? I am in no way trying to be critical, but I am just so amazed that people my age (mid-20s or so) have that kind of cash. I’m college educated (your budget is my school loan debt and I’ve had just a hell of a time. Where on earth do people work? If I lived in New York, I think I’d have to get married somewhere else because it just wouldn’t be doable. Please don’t think I’m being critical, sometimes I feel like I must be the only one who doesn’t make $50K right out of college and have $50K in savings, etc. (obviously, just an example). And even if I did save up that much for a wedding, I wouldn’t be able to save for a house after that for another 20 years probably…lol…
Oh my, Mrs. Butterfly, thank you so much for being so honest about your wedding budget! I am also a Manhattan bride and I was feeling incredibly guilty about the way we were spending money, only to discover that many other people consider this an average budget for a wedding in the city. We are fortunate that both sets of parents want to contribute as much as they can, so we were able to pull this off without having to scrimp on everything.
I think you found some great deals, and based on your pictures, I think your wedding was beautiful. You are right - memories are important, and not memories about how excruciating the budgeting was, but rather those of seeing your FI standing at the end of the aisle.
Andria,
Don’t worry, you aren’t alone!
I’m feeling kind of wedding inadequate now, with my paltry $5,000 budget (covering a full meal and site).
I don’t know how people do it. I’ve been working since I was 17, have a college degree (with $13,000 in student debt) and am still baffled as to how everyone manages to save so much for their wedding? Am I just not investing in the right stocks?
::slinks into the corner with the other lame kids::
tto - Haha, I was about to say the same thing! If it was, then that is soooo cool. I always thought having a wedding reception at Lawry’s would be really expensive!
n - Please let us know!
Andria — I don’t live in NYC so the cost of living isn’t as high, but I have been out of college for 5 years and am still making a bit less than $50K a year! Mrs. Butterfly did mention that her parents covered half the cost, and she and her husband covered the rest.
Everyone has different lifestyles, salaries, debts, etc. to contend with when planning a wedding. People also put their weddings at different places on their list of priorities. Some of our parents contribute a lot; others, not as much or nothing at all. Do what you CAN afford and know that in the end, the money spent isn’t as important as the marriage!
I’m spending some of my own $$ for our wedding, but still saving when I can, and we are hoping to use money that we get as gifts towards a down payment on a house. Some of my friends already own houses and don’t seem to have any money woes, but everyone is different so I just try to focus on my situation and what’s best for me/us.
thank you for this! I know money is a very sensitive topic for most people so I appreciate your honesty. It really helps b2bs like me to streamline our wedding budget.
And everyone’s dream wedding is different, what one person is willing to splurge on is what another might scrimp on. So it’s a nice comparison.
congrats to owning your dream wedding
Regarding budgeting–it’s more about how you spend than how you save. I used to spend hundreds each month shopping/eating out/entertainment but after we started talking about marriage, we realized that we have to really take action because we want to pay for everything ourselves. So…happy to say that a year of careful spending later, I’m already halfway to my goal for the wedding and FI is over halfway to his goal for the house downpayment.
tto & L - YES! It was! We didn’t think it could be done either, but lo and behold - it was! And I still think daily about the prime rib and lobster…
tto - i went to your website and my brother’s wedding was at descanso gardens! they spent quite the pretty penny and you know what? all our overlap guests thought we spent more!
Can you tell me what salon and make-up studio you went to in NY? I’m getting married on LI and I need help finding a place that’s reasonable.
Thanks for your followup explanations, Mrs. Blueberry and Mrs. Butterfly! It is really helpful to see what others are spending, and for what.
The very talented Mrs. Snail did her makeup. She does some bridal work on the side, and is the first person I’d hire to do my makeup.
Mrs. Butterfly’s hair was done at Hidy Hair Salon - put hidy into the search to pull up the posts on her trials.
Regarding all the questions about quartets: I’m a violinist in NYC, and I can tell you, this is one area where you can hire students and the quality is just as good or better. Professional musicians don’t make any money, and they ask for more money when a gig is a wedding gig. Students are usually hired through the school concert office, so there is set rate. I would suggest calling the Juilliard School, Mannes School, and the Manhattan School of Music.
wow~ i’m so impressed! i LOVEd your wedding~ all the details…esp. as it was highlighted in your video and i would’ve guessed a much higher amount for your budget. you did an awesome job! =) thanks for sharing~!
Thanks Mrs. Bee.
i’m so jealous! i wish i had budget like that!! your wedding was beautiful!
MRS. BUTTERFLY,
I went back and took a look at your venue review. You mentioned the gratutities at the end of the night were quite hefty. Was this in addition to the 21-22% gratutities?? Did 245 ask for tips on top of the stated gratutities? I’m not quite sure how all this works. Thanks again for your help!
By far, our biggest $ saver was getting married “off season.” Huge reception savings, and the hotel tossed in a lot of extras. Definitely ask about package deals for November, January, February, and March (off-season for the U.S. east coast, anyway). Ask them to throw in even more stuff is your date is close and they haven’t sold it yet.
Also hoard frequent flyer miles and put everything on points credit cards for hotels, airfare, etc. Pay the reception hall with those credit cards, too. Some have caps of what they will put on a cc, so try to break it into smaller payments to maximize points. Even if you don’t do cc’s, consider the free parallel point programs (clubs) to collect points; can use jointly with the associated cc’s to REALLY maximize points.
My FI and I don’t have $40-50,000 burning a whole in our pockets (or investment funds for that matter) either.
Twelve years ago I had my then-dream wedding in Main Line (read: wealthy) Philadelphia. My parents graciously covered the entire event, approximately $30,000. Limos? Check. Amazing flowers? Check. Country club? Check. Etc. (Husband who really understood the definition of marriage? Not so checked!) I remember my parents offering my then-FI and I that 30k to spend on a house. At the time it was very important to me, as it was to Mr. and Mrs. Butterfly, to have the wedding I always dreamt of.
Now I’m recently engaged to a wonderful man and we have just begun planning our own wedding. My concept of a dream wedding has changed tremendously in 12 years. We are paying for everything on our own and really don’t want to spend more than $5-10,000 - including rings, attire, wedding lodging, mini-moon (longer honeymoon will be taken 6-12 months later). Hopefully we can stay within our budget and have the wedding paid off within one year.
So Andria and Christin, don’t worry about not measuring up to the proverbial Bridal Joneses. Just enjoy your day and relish the fact you are marrying your wonderful fiance! And for those of you brides who are spending much more than Andria, Christin or I - enjoy your dream day as well!
Christine (#37) beautiful post! I hope your wedding is everything you want it to be. And for what it’s worth, you know I think that $5-10,000 can go a LONG way!
Oh goodness, this is INFINITELY helpful! I’m about to sign with Twenty Four Fifth for our wedding next September, and when I tell you I’m clueless, I mean it… It seems like you were really happy with your photography and flowers and the cost seems more reasonable than what I’ve heard. Any further insight on Twenty Four Fifth would be appreciated. We’re trying to “negotiate” our rate and I know September is a really popular month. They seem fantastic though, so I’m inclined to just go for it. Thank you again for sharing…
[...] Mrs. Butterfly - New York City - total budget: $45,000 [...]
Mrs. Butterfly
Mrs. Butterfly, New York
Age and Occupation in 06: 27, Bridezilla in training
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 30, Making me happy by saying "yes dear" to everything related to wedding planning.
Engagement Date: February 3, 2006
Wedding Date: November 18, 2006
Venue: Twenty-Four Fifth
About Me: Our wedding will be small but fun. I want a whole range of music including cheesy 80's music! But we'll see how that works out��‚��
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