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In today’s hive:
To add your question to the beehive, leave a comment below and we’ll update this post to include your question. See all past beehives here.
squirt: customary for bm to pay for own gown, but i’m actually planning on paying for their dresses as part of their gift.
MissCJ, i’m having both mom and dad walk me down the aisle too. they’re both “giving me away”!
dre: i’m sorry to say, but you’ll probably have to make 15 somewhat uncomfortable phone calls. if they’re relatives, maybe your parents or parents in law can help you make those dreaded calls? and your fiance too.
good luck!
I am also considering the Seal-n-Send invites - so I would appreciate the feedback as well! 
MissCJ, it’s not unusual at all! Both of my parents are walking me down the aisle. In Jewish weddings, the bride’s parents walk her down the aisle, and the groom’s parents walk him down the aisle as well!
Squirt, I think bridesmaids expect to pay for their own dress but it’s a lovely gesture for the bride to pick up the tab or split the cost. Many brides do, if it’s in the budget.
GG, titanium is pretty easy to find. Bluenile.com actually has a decent selection: http://www.bluenile.com/product_catalog.asp?track=top_filter&metal_filter=titanium&catid=127&filter_id=0&nav1=band_channel.asp but you might be able to find more interesting rings elsewhere. Most independent jewelers in our town have been willing to help us track down titanium rings, and they’re much more affordable than gold or platinum.
istockphoto.com is a great place to look for any design elements you need at a low price– some are free. They have a plethora of flourishes and vintage accents. I have found tons of great stuff on here.
I would also recommend weddingpaperdivas.com for invitations, they have some great stuff. One other suggestion I have is the Martha Stewart Craft collection they now carry at Michaels. OMG she has some adorable diy invitations that I think are perfect for bridesmaid luncheons, etc.
Question(s) for the BeeHive–
When do brides typically give their BMs their gifts? In this case it will be a necklace (to wear on the wedding day) and a little something extra. I won’t see all of my BMs together again until the week of my wedding (mid August). My BMs and I are going to get manis/pedis the day before the wedding - would this also be a good time for a BM luncheon??
squirt - like aoedorothee said, it’s customary for the bridesmaid to pay. but some brides pay for all or some of the cost as a kind gesture. my bridesmaid dresses were hand-made, and i paid for all the materials, while my bridesmaids each paid for the tailoring cost ($50).
GG - my husband has a titanium ring. one reason he liked it is that it doesn’t have the shiny look that gold has. the other reason is that it’s much less expensive. his was just over $100 at our jeweler, but we found similar styles online for half that price. we went with our jeweler because of the warranty and because we just like their business. one drawback they mentioned: if for some reason the ring has to be removed in an emergency, the titanium has to be cracked off the finger and it cannot be remolded together the way gold can. thus, you have to get a brand new ring. we weren’t too concerned about that, but it may be a big deal if you put sentimental value on it.
dre - While it’s nice of you to be tactful, it is they who have been un-tactful (is that a word?) by inviting guests themselves to your wedding. Yes - those will be 15 uncomfortable conversations. I’d go for something like:
“Oh dear! There must have been some miscommunication. We’re actually fairly limited with the number of people we can seat at our venue and I’m afraid we only have room for just you! I’m so sorry!”
GG, I almost forgot. For an alternative and earthy look, check out “mokume” rings, which are blends of two metals swirled around to look like wood grain patterns. http://www.mokume.com/ has some but there are tons out there, and you can get them in interesting metals.
MissCJ - I’ve been to weddings where both parents walked the bride down the aisle. And it didn’t seem odd at all!
This question got me thinking…My dad passed when I was younger, and I would love to have my mom walk me down the aisle. But haven’t seen anyone else do it before. What does the beehive think?
GG: My FI picked out a tungsten ring. They are light weight, will look the same for the next 100 years w/o scratiching, and were fairly reasonable. My father and brother also picked the metal for their wedding bands last year. We got ours at Ben Bridge–they had a GREAT selection.
GG- I would stay away from Titanium. It is really strong and if you ever needed to “cut” the ring off, it couldn’t be done. If your hubby to be works with his hands, that could be really dangerous.
GG: Make sure to check out the pros/cons of “alternative” metals. Our jewler told us that those cool, wood grain-sih “Mokume” rings wear down and actually get shap edges over the course of time. Also, I’m not sure which metal does this, but some can’t be cut. If your FI is ever in an accident and his ring is stuck, there’s a chance he’d have to loose the finger rather than ditch the ring. Yuk.
Nancy,
YES! Let your mom walk you down the aisle, I have seen it a couple times and it is very touching. If she is the person that raised you and is ‘giving you away’ go for it.
GG: my fiance picked out a tungsten carbide ring, and he’s really pleased with it. he’s an electrician, and the saleslady said that tungsten doesn’t conduct electricity. he’s not taking any chances, but it’s an interesting tidbit. one perk of that style is the smooth, rounded inside edge–since most men aren’t used to wearing rings, other bands can rub them uncomfortably, and no one likes a cranky husband! hope that helps!
bobbi: believe it or not, you can find some really cute cards and invites at target. this answer expected from me, of course. for scrolls etc., try looking up some ornamental fonts online and using parts of those — some are made up completely of pretty flourishes and swashes. good luck!
squirt: i don’t think it is customary, nor is it expected, for the bride to pay for the dresses. however, i do think it is a very nice gesture that is greatly appreciated, if you can afford to do it. if you can’t, the dress choice should take into account the individual financial situations of the girls. i know some take the “it’s my wedding, so i’ll do what i want to” approach with this, but i think a gracious bride is one that is considerate of others, esp. those who are presumably her best friends. for me, having six bridesmaids, i chose to pay for the fabric/patterns/notions for their dresses and help them find seamstresses to make their outfits (which were all different; i wouldn’t recommend this way if you want them to be all the same). they turned out great and i was glad to know that each one only paid anywhere from $50-90 for their dresses, an amount close to what they might have paid for alterations to a ready-made dress.
GG: i know http://www.e-weddingbands.com/ has many alternative metal options. we didn’t buy from them but i did inquire at one time — the owners are friendly and respond very quickly; overall they seem very reliable.
MissCJ: nope! i’ve seen this done and i think it’s very sweet. just make sure the aisle is large enough for the three of you to fit comfortably so you don’t look squished.
dre: in this situation, i back an email or letter that said something to the effect of — “thank you so much for RSVPing, we can’t wait to see you… blablabla. however, our venue has very limited space and we regret that we cannot accommodate guests whose names were not written specifically on the invitation. thanks for your understanding, and we’re looking forward to celebrating with you.” something like that. i guess you could also say something similar over the phone if needed. hope to help!
Sara: i think these are fine, if done well… a regular invite can be made to look tacky and a seal-and-send could be very elegant, depending on how they are designed. look around for sophisticated ones; i’m sure there must be some out there.
Nancy: one of my friends whose dad passed away had her mom walk her down the aisle. i think pretty much the whole congregation was touched to the point of tears. it was beautiful and meaningful… do it!
I have a mokume ring and it does just fine…if you have a jeweler who is trained in the art of mokume it won’t fade or go away. If it is true mokume, it should never fade away or get sharp edges.
GG - my fiance is getting titanium and the theory that people can’t cut the ring off in an accident is actually pretty much a myth. My jeweler showed me the cutter that he uses to cut titanium all the time and it’s a standard jewelry cutter, something that every hospital would have. If you’re still anxious about that fact, inquire at your local hospital or jewelers. Many jewelers discourage people from buying titanium because it’s just not as expensive for them to sell (they’ll tell you it’s too much of a fad, your husband could loose a finger, it will wear down, etc).
GG–my husband wanted a platinum ring to match mine, but thought titanium was cool. He also believes in the Jewish idea that a wedding band should be made of precious metal, so he ended up with a platinum ring with a titanium inlay. Somehow, the two-tone look is very masculine, and it was quite a bit cheaper than the all-platinum version, especially for a guy with big hands. And the two-tone look will last forever, unlike applied finishes. It came from e-weddingbands.com, who were great, I recommend them.
MissCJ–both my parents walked me down the aisle. I would have done it even if we didn’t have a Jewish ceremony. I wanted to honor my mom as well as my dad, they both raised me, after all! And my mom was *really* touched when I asked her. I love the photographs, I don’t have anything else like that of me and my parents.
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Beehive Feature Launched: Aug 31, 2006 About: A forum for readers to post questions and get feedback from the hive, aka the weddingbee community.
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