Beehive
Feature Launched: Aug 31, 2006
About: A forum for readers to post questions and get feedback from the hive, aka the weddingbee community.
In today’s hive:
- AmandaB would like to know what brides traditionally give their BMs as gifts. She’s giving hers a necklace (for the wedding day), and a little something extra. They’re also going to get manicures/pedicures the day before the wedding; would this be a good time for a BM luncheon?
- Nancy’s father passed away, and she’d like to have her mother walk her down the aisle. She’s never seen this done, however; thoughts?
- During Laura’s first dance, she’d like her parents and grandparents to dance as well. Does anyone have any appropriate song suggestions?
- Christine is considering walking halfway down the aisle with her mother, and the remaining half by herself; has anyone seen this done? Also, since her father passed away, she isn’t sure what to do during the father/daughter dance (which she still wants to include for her FI and FMIL). She’d rather not dance with her uncles or BIL. Suggestions?
- weddingbelle would like to know everyone’s wedding date.
- Gretchen would like to know: is it customary to provide dinner for photographers, musicians, and other vendors? And if so, should she add them to the regular headcount or a give a separate vendor meal headcount to the venue?
To add your question to the beehive, leave a comment below and we’ll update this post to include your question. See all past beehives here.
44 Responses to “Beehive”
AmandaB, it can be anything that you would give them for any other gift! Some people like to do matching gifts, but I think it is nice to give something suited to the BMs interests.
Christine, I have seen the half aisle walk done before. It was very cool!
amandaB: i’m doing something similar, necklace and spa day. i’ll be giving them the necklace during the rehearsal dinner. i wanted to do a luncheon or tea, but everyone’s just too darn busy.
nancy: it’s your own wedding, so don’t worry about never having seen it before. given your circumstance, i think it’s wonderful for you to have your mom walk you down the aisle.
laura: how bout moonriver? it’s a nice waltz that older folks are very familiar with.
christine: i’ve seen the opposite done before… first half you walk by yourself, then a parent meets you in the middle and walks with you the rest of the way. i suppose it aids in the “giving away” portion when you meet your hubby up there. also, why not just skip the father daughter dance? your fi and fmil can still have a mother/son dance of their own. or you can replace with an anniversary dance instead.
weddingbelle: my date is 10/27/07, less than 4 mos away!
gretchen: i would include a separate vendor meal count. venues usually charge less for the vendor meals and will provide something simple for them, like pasta. you do not need to feed them the same meal as your guests.
Gretchen- We gave the hall a separate count to the venue. We did this because the plates for the vendors are not the same price as the guests.
Nancy- My fiancé is having her mom walk her down the isle. I have also see seen this done at other weddings.
AmandaB- We gave our maid of honor a manicure/pedicure and massage gift certificates. The rest of the brides maids got ipod shuffles.
Weddingbelle- Our wedding is Sunday… woo hoo!
nancy–i had a friend last year who had her mother walk her down the aisle because she had a falling out with her father who raised her (turned out that he was actually her adoptive father, bio father wasn’t able to make the wedding). it was very touching and beautiful, and i can’t think of it being any other way for her.
Thanks for the responses so far — the question was supposed to be *WHEN* to give the bridesmaids their gifts. I got them necklaces, and for the little something extra, I went with some little customized 1154 Lill studio bags, based on colors each girl likes.
I didn’t want them to have to worry about what jewelry to wear, then find out the night before that they are getting necklaces (or is that how it usually works?)
Weddingbelle- ours is August 18!
nancy: my good friend may be doing this. i think it’s a great idea!
gretchen: it’s a nice gesture to feed your vendors if they will be at your event for most of the day. we counted vendor meals separately from our regular guests because they were priced differently.
I would ask the venue if they have a separate vendor meal. You do need to feed the vendors. One time, some friends on mine who are videographers did not have a meal so they were pretty hungry at the end of the reception and of course, weren’t going to go and demand a meal. Hungry vendor=slightly unhappy vendor.
nancy and christine - my mom is walking me (dad is passed away). i tihnk it would be awkard for her to walk me the first half only bc then where does she go? walk behind me to her seat in the front row? I agree that it would make more sense to have her walk down to meet you half way and then give you away. I also think it is sweet to have your fiance walk down the aisle to meet you halfway if you are walking by yourself.
nancy - i was in the same situation and decided to have my mother walk me down the aisle. i couldn’t see her out of the corner of my eye, but my moh told me she was crying… so it obviously meant a lot to her, and for me, there wasn’t a more right thing to do.
christine - i actually did the opposite (alone first, then mom joined till her seat), but it’s bc there wasn’t enough room for both of us to walk. we decided to skip the first dances altogether, but when we were still considering them, it would have just been my hubby and his mom.
09.08.07
October 6, 2007!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nancy - My mom walked me down the aisle. I (obviously) think it’s a great idea.
Christine - I didn’t substitute the father/daughter dance with anyone else. We just skipped it.
09.29.2007
I was wondering if any of you Los Angeles area brides have suggestions for a good wedding band? We’re looking for a group that will play classic rock, motown, and maybe some jazz, for our July wedding next summer in the San Gabriel Valley.
03.22.2008
bettina, you don’t need to indicate this to your guests. when they reach their table and find no place cards, they will just choose their own seats.
amandaB: i think the rehearsal dinner is still a fine idea. if they were planning on wearing something beforehand, they can just replace it with what you’ve given them. i guess the only trouble is if they went out and purchased something, but if they’ve mentioned that to you, maybe you can dissuade them from doing so. in any case, it all works out… it always does!
04-28-08
12.29.07
AmandaB: my cousin passed out BM and GM gifts at the rehearsal. She also passed out the “other” gifts at that time. (RB, FG, etc)
Christine: why not dance with your grandfather? If both are still alive & kicking, dance half of the song with each of them [or both at once if you’re all that talented 
]
bettina: while you’re not in the ‘hive yet, i had a friend do something similar. our escort cards had the table number/name written inside and we could choose where at that table we sat.
I think I want to do what Bettina is doing too.
Nancy: Sorry about your loss. I’ve seen it done and it was lovely!
weddingbelle:10.27.2007
Christine: I haven’t seen that done but if you want to do that, you should do what you like, as long as you make it to the end of the aisle, that’s all that matters. As far as dances go, you don’t have to do the Father/daughter dance. Just omit it and just let your FI dance with your FMIL. Again, your wedding, you write the rules!
Gretchen: If they are are with your longer than 6 hours, you should feed them… Ask your venue if there is a discounted rate for staff. Many places do this.
I am having my mom walk me down the aisle. My father is not invited and my brother is stationed in Guam and will not be able to attend.
~Question for the hive~
I found a great vendor for mini bamboo steamers (for favors) and am thinking about importing them from China. What do you all think about the market for it and how much would you be willing to purchase them at? Any advice/suggestions?
at my cousin’s wedding, they had assigned tables, but not assigned seats. they didn’t have individual name cards for each place setting, but instead in the center they had everyone’s name again with the table number. everyone pretty much inferred from there that you could pick whatever seat you wanted at that table.
weddingbelle: our date is tenatively 08.30.08 but part of me still wants 08.08.08
July 22, 2007! eep!
Less than a month to go! 8/4/07
Nancy/Christine: I have a single mother and am having my grandfather walk me down the aisle. (mom is MOH). I think your mom will be touched that you asked and your guests will think it’s a nice gesture. I will also be dancing with gramps for the father/daughter dance.
Weddingbelle: 10/18/08 (sweetest day of the year, also the same day we started dating)
Gretchen: My venue told me it was required to provide meals to my vendors (their own policy). The vendor meal is substantially cheaper.
Christine- is there a groomsmen you are good friends with or a cousin, or pretty much any male that you feel comfortable with. I’m sure it could be a huge honor to someone. Or just skip it all together if you will be uncomfortable. Its your wedding, do what you will be most comfortable with.
Weddingbelle- mine is Friday May 30, 2008
christine dance w/ your MOM..that is what I am doing..!!!
10/31/07!
Now I have a question of my own. Can anyone recommend a good, clear deodorant? Anti-perspirant (some have reco’ed Certain Dri) is great, but I’m looking for a long-lasting DEODORANT. So I don’t reek 
8/22/08
Thanks for everyone’s suggestions so far; my thought was to either: 1) have Mom escort me 100% down the aisle OR 2) walk 1/2 way myself, meet up with FI and together he and I finish our walk down the aisle. Arriving together at the starting point of our new life, right?
Mom & I aren’t keen on dancing with each other, but Miss GreenBean - you go girl! I’m still reeling from a BM experience 10 years ago in a BF’s wedding. Her FI had one of the girls in our group stand up on his side of the wedding party. In a tux. Guess who was paired up with the grooms-girl? We even had to do the wedding party slow dance together. (At that moment more eyes were on us than the bride and groom.) We girls still laugh about it 10 years later!
I think we’ll skip the dance. Neither of my grandfathers are still alive and I don’t feel the pressing need to ask one of my Uncle’s or my brother in law to stand in for my late father. Only had one dad - can’t replace him even if it’s just for one song. I agree that asking someone to step in for that dance would have been perceived as a great honor.
Wedding date: 10/05/07. We’re planning everything in three months as we just got engaged. We wanted one particular venue with an outdoor ceremony and next spring I am traveling too much with work. So “why wait,” my FI said when he proposed. We are having a ball planning everything so far (it helps that I’m a meeting planner by trade). My mom and one of my BF’s helped me choose, buy and bring home my dress tonight. I love love love it! Everything is falling into place - fate has a strong hand in this marriage for sure.
Aliya - I feel your pain! Secret just came out with a “clinical” clear strength. Also try Mitchem. Dove has a good clear (comes out goopey) one that I’ve used in the past. Good luck!
3.29.08
new question: although I’ve got less than 50 days left, I’m suddenly thinking about getting my makeup professionally done. Can anyone recommend someone in Toronto who works in the eastern part of North York, preferably with experience in East Asian clients? And is it impossibly to get someone to come to your home if you’ve got a tiny bridal party?
Hello Gretchen - will you be having a sit down or buffet meal? We’re having a buffet dinner, and because my vendors won’t be taking up an actual seat, my reception venue will allow them to eat free of charge! But I assume that with sit down meals, you’d need to add them into the final guest count/meals - hopefully at a discounted rate like the other commenters mentioned above!
Question for the Hive:
FI’s parents both passed away. He wants to do his mother/son dance as a sisters/brother dance. Anyone know any songs that would be appropriate for siblings to dance to?
Wedding Date: 11/2/07
Michelle,
I dont know about yours or or FI’s siblings, but maybe a special song from when you-they were growing up?
My little sis and I have several songs that are important to us. What a Good idea!
I am also 10/6/07 -3 months from today.
has anyone taken dance lessons in NYC for your first dance? recommendations? (and how many lessons will we need?)
date: 09/08/07
Thanks for everyone’s responses! I know my mom will be touched when I ask her. I’m sure we’ll both be crying walking down the aisle together.
Christine - My FI and I decided that we’ll skip the father/daughter & mother/son dance.
our date is 07/25/08
Hi! I have a question I’d like posted. I would love to hear what brides are giving the mothers as gifts.
[…] BA is looking for a good band in Los Angeles that can play classic rock, motown, and jazz for her July wedding. […]
I have a large wedding party (4 bridesmaids, 4 groomsmen) and they may all be bringing guests, so including us, this could make 16 total. What have other brides done in terms of seating? We want to sit by all of them, but obviously it won’t work. I was thinking of having two round tables with place settings for both of us, so we can switch around. Has anyone done this before?
QUESTION: I’m doing my own invitations and all my other paper stuff. I wanted to know how you know if you have a ‘good’ quality printer?? I’ll be using the paper source cardstock and other heavy type cardstock..and wasn’t sure which printers would print well and I would be able to feed the cardstock through. THANKS!!!
Hey Miss Popcorn,
