Beehive
Feature Launched: Aug 31, 2006
About: A forum for readers to post questions and get feedback from the hive, aka the weddingbee community.
In today’s hive:
- BA is looking for a good band in Los Angeles that can play classic rock, motown, and jazz for her July wedding.
- bettina is assigning tables with escort cards at the door, but she only wants to assign tables and not seats - is this ok? How does she convey this to the guests?
- Aliya is looking for a recommendation for a good, clear deodorant. She’s heard antiperspirants like Certain-Dri are great, but she’s looking for a long lasting deodorant.
- Miss Popcorn is looking for a makeup artist in Toronto who works in the eastern part of North York, preferably with experience with East Asian clients. Also is it possible to get someone to come to your home is you have a small bridal party?
- Michelle’s FI’s parents both passed away and he wants to do his mother/son dance as a sisters/brother dance. Any suggestions for songs appropriate for siblings to dance to?
- Di is looking for dance lesson studios in NYC and wants to know how many lessons are needed?
- Sept Bride wants to hear what brides are giving their mothers as gifts.
To add your question to the beehive, leave a comment below and we’ll update this post to include your question. See all past beehives here.
37 Responses to “Beehive”
Does anyone know of any place in NY that we can get a vintage car for 3 hours? We checked with film cars, and they are not available on our wedding day. Neither of us likes limos, and we don’t want to pay $1,000 for 3 hours of Rolls Royce. We just want something that is kind of special for just two of us.
Aliya - my sister and I both used Mitchum clear/unscented during our sports years; Soccer and ballet for me, volleyball and ballet for my sister. We both really liked it, and it stood up to a lot of activity. You do have to let it dry for a minute since it’s a clear gel. I think it’s also supposed to be a “guys” deoderant, but since it’s unscented, what’s the difference? 
Di - as a dance instructor working with a lot of wedding couples, the amount of lessons needed is going to depend on you and your FI’s natural ability and intent of dance lesson. If you only want to focus on the first dance and nothing else, then you won’t need as many lessons vs. learning how to dance to different types of songs, plus the first dance. If you decide on dance lessons, do them early on in your wedding planning process and keep the lessons close together (less review). If you and your FI decide that you are at a point where you are good enough, you can always stop. But if you feel that you need more lessons, and time has run out…there’s not a whole lot you can do. I know that everyone wants #’s and there’s no hard and fast rule, but I can say that typically I have couples who have come to me 2 weeks prior to their wedding (taking about 5 lessons total) and couples that start about 8 months early, spacing lessons out at 1-2 per week.
Bettina - instead of doing individual cards that each person picks up, could you do more like a directory that you see on the bottom floor of an office building?
Table 6 - Mr. and Mrs. Piggy, Dr. Seuss, Partridge Family
You could do it by table or alphabetize the whole list like a telephone book. Either way, it would be silly to make individual cards that they had to match up because that would lead to the “this is my seat” attitudes.
Aliya - I forgot to mention that the Mitchum is BOTH an antiperspirant and a deodorant.
I gave my mother a beach bag full of lotions, soaps and bodywash from Bath and Body Works..she loves that stuff, but will not buy it for herself because she thinks it costs too much.
Sept Bride - FH and I just started figuring out parent gifts. We really didn’t like the trinkety stuff (hankies, engraved frames, etc.) but wanted to do something more sentimental than a gift card (after all, it’s not a birthday gift).
We are going to create the story of us. We will include all the details of how we met, our courtship, etc. But, to keep it from seeming like we feel everyone should have a coffee table book about us, we are going to personalize each one by including the recipient in it. For example, “The thing we most admire about your marriage, Dad, is that you never go to bed angry. We strive to always make “I love you” the last words out of our mouths at the end of the day because of the example you have made. Your compassion is something we hope will continue to rub off on us as our marriage grows stronger.”
After all, the parent gifts are meant as thank-yous, and this way we will tell them exactly what we are thanking them for, why we appreciate them, and how their wonderful qualities have contributed to our strong, successful partnership. Essentially, it’s the literal interpretation of “we couldn’t have done it without you.”
bettina,
Most of the weddings I’ve been to have assigned tables, not seats. You just put the table number on the escort card and people sit down at the table wherever when they get there. 
(Interestingly, my group of friends are famous for not sitting next to their sig other at the tables…people think its weird, but they figure they see each other enough! So the assigned table but not seats really works for us)
Etiquette question - a few of my BMs are throwing us a couples shower, and a few are throwing me a bridal shower. i really want to invite the BMs that are throwing me the couples shower to the bridal shower - is that rude? i would feel like my best friends weren’t there if i didn’t, but i also don’t want them having to buy me gift after gift (plus bachelorette party etc etc). what does one do in this situation???
Bettina – I don’t think I’ve ever been to a wedding where my actual seat was assigned, only the table. “Ms. Bettina Bride-to-be, Table 1”, etc. Each guest gets their own escort card. That would certainly save you tons of time…
Hi everyone,
I was wondering what the best price anyone has found on pillar candles. I’m so surprised to see how expensive they are ($3-4 each). White or ivory…3-6 inches ok. Thanks for any help in advance! (My cheap DIY centerpieces might not be so cheap after all!)
so i hear from various people that bridesmaids are supposed to be single friends. i’m wondering if this is just part of the asian culture or whether there is some history behind this thought. i know that, in the end, it really shouldn’t matter, but are bridesmaids more commonly single female friends or relatives? what have all of you heard?
one more question:
what are the best bridal shows or expos to attend? thanks!
Bettina, for your second question (#12), I am in exactly the same situation. It would help if you gave you MOH a list of duties that she can do (leave out the ones that require her to live in the same city as you, such as accompanying you to dress fittings etc).
Also, my FI sensed my bummed out vibe, and was terribly sneaky (and sweet) and emailed my MOH to tell her how I was feeling. He provided her with a guest list and put her in contact with someone who lived in the same city so that she could help plan from afar in cahoots with the local gals. They ended up planning a surprise bachelorette for the Friday before our upcoming Sunday wedding. So maybe you can drop a hint or two with your FI if he’s the sensitive type? Other than that, not much you can do beside giving them a nice synopsis of BM duties and hope they get the hint.
Bettina - I don’t think you need to assign seats. If you have a card that says their name and table, I assume people will take the card to the table, see that there aren’t assigned seats, and put the card on the plate where they would like to sit (and their purse, etc).
ML - I LOVED the ny magazine bridal expo, and thought that the Wedding Salon was a WASTE OF TIME & $! Also anything by Big Apple Bridal Expo is also lame. Hope this helps!
bride2besoon - Agreed, I was shocked at the price of pillar candles as well! The cheapest I’ve found them is at IKEA, for $1.49 ea for the smaller ones, and $2.49 for the larger ones.
Bettina- to your 2nd question…all of my bridesmaids live in a different state then where I will be living and having the wedding. Although showers and parties are nice I would never dream of trying to hint that they need to do them for me…they are already spending a lot of money just being in the wedding and travelling for it. If they do something then that’s great but I’m totally o.k. with not having these things. If I was a bridesmaid and I was given a list of “duties,” I’d be very offended and would think it was a gift grab.
Aliya, I second Tricia Mitchum is great. They do make a women’s gel, it’s in light green packaging instead of the men’s dark green
We’re invited to a wedding that we won’t be able to attend. Just curious, how much do people spend on the gift in this situation ($50, $75, $100, etc.)? Thanks!
I added this question to the previous beehive and didn’t want it to get forgotten about, so here it is again…
I have a large wedding party (4 bridesmaids, 4 groomsmen) and they may all be bringing guests, so including us, this could make 16 total. What have other brides done in terms of seating? We want to sit by all of them, but obviously it won’t work. I was thinking of having two round tables with place settings for both of us, so we can switch around. Has anyone done this before?
Question: What’s involved in getting someone ordained online to officiate a wedding in CA? Can you recommend a website? tx!
Nance-
We have 5 bridesmaids and groomsmen so obviously don’t all fit at the same table either (and I don’t care for putting the bridal party at one long table with sig. others elsewhere). We decided we’ll sit with our parents and grandparents - and have the two tables next to ours for the bridal party and their guests. It worked out especially well for us that 5 members of the bridal party are siblings of ours, so they’ll be at one table with their guests and the bridal party members who are friends will be at the other with their guests. Hope this helps!
bettina– we’re doing escort cards (alpha order) to assign people to tables, but not to specific seats.
septbride– we’re not doing parent gifts.
Question for the Hive– We have a friend getting married in a different state than where they currently live (just like us), and so I just mailed their wedding gift (it’s big - luggage) to their home address, before the wedding. I figured this would save them space in their car when they have to drive back to their home 7 hours away (and I hope people will keep this in mind for our wedding as well since we are also getting married 7 hrs from where we now live). I told my friend this and she asked why I wasn’t bringing it to the wedding.
I’m curious to hear from the WB readers if you usually bring the gift to the wedding, or ship it to the couple’s home?
Nance– I just recently went to a wedding where my fiance was in the wedding party. There were also 4 groomsmen and 4 bridesmaids. What our friends did was sit us to the left of their sweetheart table. (if you were standing behind the table, facing the dance floor, it was to the left). This was nice and easy for them because we were only 2 steps away from them so they could come and talk to us whenever they wanted to, but they still had the sweetheart table to themselves so they really were the center focus for the night. Hope this helps
I have a question for the hive. I am thinking about buying a gocco to do my invitations. I have never seen one used before and want to know how you can print a 5×7 invitation on a B6 gocco which, from what I understand, only prints things 3 9/16 x 5 9/16 or smaller. Do you just split the design in half and print one side and then the other? How can you be sure things line up correctly? Any tips would be very helpful (especially since I have 2 weeks to design, print, and mail out my invites…yikes!) Thanks!
Nance-
We are doing what Katie (#24) said. We’re having our sweetheart table, then parent tables, then the attendant table with their dates, all close to our sweetheart table.
Question for the beehive:
Does anyone know of a seamstress in NYC who could alter a bridesmaid’s dress in less than 24 hours? My future sister-in-law will be away until two days before the wedding and her Aria dress just arrived at her home. I am pretty certain it will need some minor alterations, but they would have to be done extremely quickly, obviously. Thanks for any suggestions!
So we just found out that FI has a very important 3-week, out-of-state training session for work starting the Sunday afternoon after our wedding in October. I guess it’s a good thing we’ve been slow making honeymoon plans. We were planning to keep it low-key and somewhat local (we live in Atlanta) anyway. But I don’t want to totally give up on a newlywed getaway. Any ideas???
How are you sealing your wedding invitations? What other other options are out there besides wax seals?
Does anyone know where I can get a memory photo frame for my bouquet? I’ve only seen one online for $12, but shipping made it nearly $20. (More than I wanted to spend.)
Thanks!
[…] anyone tell newcomer a place in NYC to rent a vintage car for about three hours? (Film cars wasn’t available for […]
kat:
I just went to the paper store (paper source, or any local scrapbook store) and they have small frames that are normally used for scrapbooking but have a hole in the top of the frame for ribbon…I think mine were like 4 dollars for 3 of them!?!
AmandaB-
My family and I are attending my cousin’s wedding in a week and a half and we chose to do a mix of shipping and bringing gifts. We are bringing the gifts that won’t take up a lot of space in our car (we’re going to Florida for a week after the wedding, so we’ll have more than just weekend bags), but we shipped the big items (luggage, like you got too) because the store didn’t have them in stock and there was no way we could fit that in our car. Shipping can get expensive sometimes, so I would choose to bring gifts unless you can’t fit them in your car/bring them on a plane.
Jana,
If you can do a 3 1/2 hour drive, I have to recommend the Biltmore Estate in Asheville, NC. DH and I went on our honeymoon there, and the Inn on Biltmore Estate is *unbelieveable*. The views are amazing, the rooms are beautiful, and the sunsets are very romantic. You can book a package that includes champagne, breakfast in bed or buffet, and dinner at your choice of one of the restaurants on the estate. If I had to choose a honeymoon spot again, I’d still pick this one.
Thanks Kaci! I went to Archivers last night and found one..it was $6 for one, but it’ll do!! Yay!
Hi!
I need a little help…with just 80 days until our wedding, I’ve just found out I’m pregnant (and very excited…I’m 41, and it turned out to be easier than expected)!!! I have a dress, but am worried it won’t fit by then. Does anyone have any recommendations about coming up w/ another (concealing) dress with less than 3 months to go???
Jana:
I have a great recommendation for you! Check out the cabins in Blue Ridge. My fiance and I have rented a cabin just for a romantic get-away and for fun trips with friends. You can choose one with a forest, water, or (my favorite) mountain view. The mountain views are just breathtaking - especially from a hot tub! I love going to Blue Ridge, but hate the outdoors. Go figure!
We live in Woodstock and Blue Ridge is only about 1.5 hrs away. So, depending what part of ATL you’re in, it won’t be too long of a drive. A bonus for a cabin in October would be the fall colors (maybe - you know how GA is haha).
Anyway, the company I recommend is First Class Cabins of Blue Ridge. They’ve been great over the years and even have special massage packages and what-not. They don’t do party cabins, so everything’s well-kept.
T: I didn’t gocco, but screen-printed my invitations to get around just such sizing constraints. My advice would be NOT to do 5×7 invitations if you have to use the B6 gocco. Lining it up would be quite the task (unless you did all the text on one side, and a graphic on the other).
davis2B: I’m using button & sting envelopes. I think they’re cute.
