Wedding Blog

I think it’s not uncommon for brides-to-be to experience some version of “cold feet.” Marriage is a major life decision, and questioning it means that you are thinking about it seriously and not just plunging into it blindly.

With that said, you must evaluate for yourself whether this cold feet stems from a simple case of nerves as the big day approaches or from deeper issues such as fear of commitment.

Also, the best solution for a case of cold feet is a partner who’s understanding enough to accept your honest feelings and does his best to warm your toes right up again to erase any doubts.

the same thing is happening to me….so don’t feel bad. I have been getting crushes for the past couple weeks, then they go away quickly. last weekend i had a crush on my good friend of 7 years (whom I had never ever thought about in that way before). Literally, it started on Friday then ended on Sunday : ) I was like, wait a minute, I never even gave him a chance. What if? It is actually quite amusing to me. I know I want to marry my betrothed, and there is no one else for me. However, when a person is going through a huge life changing experience (i.e., marriage) it is absolutely normal to second guess yourself and freak out a bit. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t be human.

this is all totally normal, I thought about ex right before our wedding, and it frieked me out. But that is just your mind’s way of taking your deicsion seriously.

Also, another ex boyfriend reached out to me before his own wedding, so I think it happens to guys, too.

Crush aside, did you have any doubts before? Do you have any any doubts that go deeper than just having a crush? I really do think that sometimes crushes just happen, and as long as you are actually very in love with your fiance and don’t do anything about it, there is not a problem. But, I’m sorry to spread any gloom and doom, remember that many marriages don’t work out. I know people that have gotten divorced within a year of getting married. They knew they were making a mistake but were afraid to call off the wedding. If you really aren’t sure, but you don’t want to break up with your fiance, push off the wedding. it will be uncomfortable but at least you will either save yourself real heartache (and expenses) later, or you will get married at a later date and be fully sure, committed, and excited to get married.

I think it’s normal too. Being engaged is such a process, and I think it’s important to honor all the feelings you go through during that process. I’ve DEFINITELy been doing a lot of ex-boyfriend pondering, and I really do think it’s my way of sort of saying goodbye to my old self, and preparing to move into my new self/life. There are also several books out there that I’ve found very helpful, namely “The Conscious Bride”, and “Emotionally Engaged: A Bride’s Guide to Surviving the Happiest Time of her Life”. Good luck!

My ex-boyfriend (first boyfriend, first love) got married on Saturday. I get married in three months myself - to the second person I have ever dated. Yup, only two - and the first one is now married.

To make things weirder, somehow we planned our weddings within a week of each other’s birthdays. We were always so in sync, it was borderline bizarre. We could finish each other’s sentences and he once told me I knew him better than he knew himself. For some reason, the reality of him getting married hit me pretty hard. Not only was he my first love, but we dated for four years and discussed marriage ourselves. I never saw it coming when he broke my heart and ran off with a girl that lived across the street from him at college. I wasn’t sure I would ever truly get through it. I felt like this person I had known for nearly six years was hiding behind a mask - like I didn’t know him at all. It terrified me and made me leery of having another relationship.

Now, I love my fiance to pieces and I know I want to spend the rest of my life with him - no question there. Still, all the emotions rushed back when I thought of him getting married. Someone in a similar situation once said “…it was painful to know the person who taught me that love doesn’t last forever decided that maybe it does after all.” That’s how I felt all weekend. To make matters worse, I helped my family move and came upon a box of mementos from ages ago - including a stack of photos of my ex and I together at the height of our relationship. I was freshly awash with nostalgia for the great times and deep sadness and regret for the way things ended. I started questioning my current relationship and comparing the two. Apples and oranges. It’s not fair or reasonable to do this, of course, but I did it anyway. After a couple of days of feeling strange and a little sad, I started to sort things out in my head a little better. I began to remember the bad times as vividly as the good; the humiliation and cruelty as clearly as the happiness and bliss. Then I thought about my fiance and realized how fortunate I really am to have him, someone who would never hurt me the way I was hurt before and who wrapped his arms around me and assured me that he understood that my past is as much a part of me as he is.

I think it’s normal to think about these things. It’s a huge step and not one that should be taken lightly.