Is anyone else REALLY shy about her engagement ring? I hide it all the time, tucking my hand into my sleeve, making a point to try and keep it out of sight. It makes me nervous, I think I’m paranoid - I feel like people are always looking at it, sizing me up, sizing Mr. Gummi Bear up.
So let this be known, I’m only posting about my ring because I love you all! If asked about it in person, I’d just start sweating and my eyes would slowly cross.
My original ring was cute, Mr. Gummi Bear had it custom made for me…. but it wasn’t really made to have a wedding band next to it. We also felt the jeweler we worked with wasn’t really willing to work with us, just did what he wanted, and it came out so heavy and unfeminine. In the end, we decided that the wedding band remaining a constant in my life is far more important that preserving the current setting of my engagement ring. The only requirements for this new ring was that we incorporated all the current stones and that another ring would be able to sit flush against it.
I wanted something completely different, something to fit my lifestyle. We bought a 1920’s home with all the period details intact, then filled it with retro style and mid-century modern furniture. I wanted something that would refect my vintage obsession…
So we looked around, read some reviews, and settled down on a custom jeweler in San Francisco. It was a nice meeting, I really liked the guy this time. We talked a lot about details, because… I’m obsessed with details. On the way home, in fact, I realized I forgot something, so when we got home I made a detailed diagram of angles on graph paper of what I forgot to tell him, scanned it, and had Mr. Gummi Bear email it to him with a few last questions. I’m pretty sure he thinks I’m nuts.
He does everything by hand, no wax molds, no nothing, just pure artistry… which means that my delicate milgrain will only cover .3mm of my diamond edge in the bezel set. To see if I could put a size 4 ring on, he sprayed my hand with windex… it worked. Immediately after, he said if I needed to get it on or off without windex, spit is slick enough. And you know how much we love it when vendors/artisans/professionals tell us crude or weird things!!
So, I’ve avoided it long enough. Here are the photos:
My jeweler took these photos for his portfolio, they look totally fake, but this is my actual ring:
Satisfied?! I’m going to go crawl into my hole and pretend this never happened. I’ll be red faced for days.
I’ll be happy to post about Mr. Gummi Bear’s engagement and wedding ring when it arrives… Wednesday! Yay!
Your ring is lovely! Don’t hide it!
You might have the cutest house ever.
Your ring is beautiful. Get you hand out of your pocket! =)
Your ring is beautiful! I would flaunt it - but nicely of course. 
And i love your house. Your kitchen reminds me of Rachel Ray’s kitchen on foodnetwork - please don’t kill me if you don’t like Rayray.
Very cute ring…!
But I am truly obsessed with your house. Is that really your house? If so, can you please (pretty please!) post more pictures of it?
I love the pictures of your house! Your ring is beautiful too, don’t hide it!
love your house. love the furniture, too. sort of jealous you can afford that up north ;).
lovely ring, too. don’t hide it. if you’re ashamed of bling, then why the halo? i thought i loved halos, but when i tried them on, they had too much not-so-subtle bling for me!
oh my goodness, oh my goodness (Molly in the musical ‘Annie’)! I looooooooovve your house - and the ring ain’t bad ehiter!
oops…that was ‘either’! I HATE typos!
i love the house!
i’ve never been a big fan of pave settings, esp when most of the stones are set higher than the pave stones around it. i love how yours is flush with the center stone. classic and beautiful!!
Unlike the girls above, I understand your feelings! I felt really awkward about showing it off in the weeks after we got engaged. People would ooh and aah and it just made me feel twitchy. I still get weirded out about it sometimes.
PS My dad is even a jeweler, how much of a black sheep does that make me??? 
i know the post was about the ring and the ring is lovely, but seriously,
love.your.house.
your ring is beautiful! show it off!!
and your house is so cute! i love it!
Your ring is so pretty!! You guys did a very good job designing it. Bet sketching all those angles on graph paper paid off 
As for your cute little house… I really need to find me one of those here in SJ. It’s precious!
i love your ring. it looks kinda like a space ship. i couldn’t help but think of ID4 when i see it. and you dont have to worry about the diamond falling off the ring because the design secures it pretty well. it’s so unique.
I adore your kitchen. And your ring. But especially your kitchen.
OMG! Your ring is prefect! It actually looks like the one I’ve been wanting for a while now. You should defiantly flaunt it. And I have to agree that you house is pretty darn cute too. ^_^
Can I ask a possibly stupid question? Why would you get a ring that you’re embarassed to wear? Were you not consulted in any of the ring designing process in the initial go-round? (Since you mentioned that one of the requirements of the new ring was that you somehow incorporate all the stones from the first ring, I assume you had some say in both designs, but I might be wrong there…)
I can relate a bit…I tried to warn my fiance before he proposed that I’m not the kind of girl who wants a huge rock sticking up off of her finger, and showed him the types of rings that had caught my eye as of late (the celebration rings at Tiffanys in particular…) at the time. He wound up giving me his grandmother’s ring, and it’s working out perfectly so far! While it sticks out a bit from my finger (I feel so bad when I bang it into a doorway or a desk!), it’s not too terribly hard to maneuver. I’m hoping we can incorporate the stones into a lower-level setting eventually (and also one that has a platinum band, as this one is yellow gold which is sooo not me!), but for now, its perfect. I can’t imagine wanting to hide it under my sleeves! You might want to discuss this problem with your fiance and maybe even think of a different design to do further down the road…
You’re so lucky! Beautiful ring, beautiful house.
Sidenote: I’ve been eyeing that Lotus Bleu loveseat for months.
That’s a lovely ring! Mine is similar, except it’s a princess cut. I know what you mean about being a bit embarassed. It just bugs me when people tell me how big mine is. It seems to imply that I am the one who picked it out. You’ll get used to it soon enough
i love your living room. what color is on your walls?
wow! i love the 2nd ring - it totally reflects YOU better. did you say Mr. GB is also getting an engagement ring? i can’t wait to see that post!
I like the phrasing of your post– (great pics of the digs, too– awesome style!) I hate the way people evaluate rings so I understand the sentiment. I picked my ring with my FI and it’s fairly industrial looking– it’s not a diamond, by choice, and it’s aircraft grade titanium. I love it– it totally suits me. But… I have encountered those that seem to try to make assumptions about my fiance or myself based on the ring. If I had so chosen, I could have a flashy ring or a more traditional diamond ring or whatever… but I didn’t feel they suited me.
If it suits your style, then enjoy your ring and if conversation is uncomfortable to you, shift the conversation away from the ring and to something else that you do want to talk about (or bring up your fantastic weird vendor anecdotes). There’s absolutely nothing embarassing about having a ring that totally suits you — regardless of the positive or negative attention that it attracts. And underneath it all, it’s merely a symbol or token of something much more valuable than itself.
and i love love LOVE your stove! it’s so cute!
Oh and also, I chose not to have a wedding band. It doesn’t fit with my ring and I adore my ring too much to give it up!
hah, thanks for all the comments about my ring!! I do love it, it’s just a little bit of spazzy paranoia on my part. Mr. GB always says it’s such a waste considering how detailed crazy I was with making it!
Leesung: It was definitely the angles, I made a real point about making sure that it was as low and on level with the stone around it. He had made other ones that were not as flush, so I drew diagrams just in case.
nhung: people always say that, it’s a vivenne westwood style ufo!
ocicats: everyone asked, but I don’t know! They were the right color when we moved in, we just changed the ceilings!
didi: me too, I’m an o’keefe & merritt fiend!
Faith: it’s not that I’m embarrassed by having it, or how it looks - I’m absolutely in love with it and am happy we came to the design the ring together. I think because I’m very shy, upon meeting me, people already think I’m a snooty bitch for not talking to them - so the ring on top of that means i’m snooty AND a money hungry bitch. 
I’d rather enjoy it with him and my close friends who already know I’m just naturally quiet.
ps - thanks to everyone who likes my house! If you want to know more, you can always email me and I’ll be happy to link to more photos of it!
That is some serious bling! I say show it off proudly Your house is adorable. It looks like a really cool retro doll house.
Wow, what a fantastic ring! Don’t be embarrased showing it off, it’s so feminine and delicate and supernice 
My compliments on your house! Looove the kitchen and the colours. Not too common over here (Sweden) to use that bold colouring - most people are just going for eggshell/latte/cappucion sort of colours, and itäs so refreshing to see a cool kitchen like that.
My favourite mid-century online auction site is danish, but maybe it can gice you further inspiration?
http://www.lauritz.com/ItemList/ItemList.aspx?LanguageId=2
what a beautiful, beautiful ring.
It’s so pretty! I’m pretty shy myself, and I don’t really like showing people my ring sometimes, either. I have a very small (1/5ct) round solitaire diamond, and I love it, but people who don’t know me well usually assume that it’s a ‘for now’ ring because we’re too poor to afford better, but I chose my ring, so… yeah.
I love your house and the furniture you’re using in it, too! Very stylish and fun.
I LOVE your ring, and I definitely know what you mean about being shy about it. People just make weird comments when it comes to engagement rings that are meant to be complements but sometimes end up sounding like criticism.
On the topic of your house, did you do anything special to get those “catalog like” pictures? I feel like my house is cute in person, and similar to yours in its 1920’s bungalow charm, but in pictures looks tiny and dark. What’s the trick?
Your ring is gorgeous. It is so sparkly and pretty.
u are too cute! lol. your ring is lovely. i actually never wear my ring and dont like to show it off either. haha
I can understand where you’re coming from, a bit. My ring isn’t gargantuan by any means, but it came in a little blue box, which I’m a bit shy about. BTW, your sense of style is A+ rockin’, in my book. Can I be a Cato Calin-esque houseguest?
Your kitchen is ridiculously cool. It looks like something our of Domino. I like your style.
I actually feel you on the ring. After 5 months I still hide it because it takes some getting used to. Generally, I don’t get many comments except for the occasional, “Wow, that’s a nice ring,” but I do get stares which needless to say, embarasses me a bit. My diamond isn’t big but really sparkly.
whoa! *blinded* your rock is humongo!! haha.
Love your house, love your decor (kinda like mine!) love your ring. My engagement ring is vintage–I was so proud of Mr Pencils for picking it out all by himself! It’s the nicest one I had seen anywhere, and I, uh, looked around quite a bit at vintage gemstone rings before the engagement. It’s from the 40s, platinum, with a round stone and little diamonds on the side. Sort of “buckle style,” but not exactly. Anyway, never seen another quite like it, and I adore it.
beautiful ring
You and I have almost the same exact ring! Love it!! :o)
1. I love the ring! I can kinda understand your shyness, but daggone it, that ring is gorgeous! good choice!
2. I also love the house! I’m a big nerd. annnnnd I’m also an architecture major, so I have reason to be a nerd about houses.
I wear my ring on and off so I’m technically hiding it most of the time.
I love your decor and the ring. It’s so shiny.
Your ring is stunning! You shouldn’t hide it!
Now, onto the house. LOVE it!
I know houses aren’t exactly weddingbee’s thing, but you should definitely do a post with more pictures from your house!
I have love for all the bees, but Gummy Bear, you are my new favorite! I love your posts and your personal style. I am drooling over the ring…
love love love the ring- I really love that it has the vintage/deco feel to it. I’m really drawn to those type of rings myself- I think the center stone is so beautifully presented.
*drooling over ring and good housekeeping perfect house* i can’t help but be jealous but you totally rock it. i wish i had any idea on how to decorate a house! before i got engaged i really wanted a vintage ring too, something with a similar pattern of the sides of your E-ring
You have amazing taste! The house is gorgeous, the ring is stunning, and you are amazing!
What a beautiful ring - I hide mine, too. I can’t wait to just wear my wedding band which is more simple and less of a ‘judgement’ thing.
congrats again - I LOVE reading all of your posts!!
As they say, “If you’ve got it, flaunt it”. And you, most definitely, “got it”! I’d be waving that thing all over the place!
But! I understand that you don’t want people to judge you based off of this thing on your finger. Try thinking of it as a symbol of Mr. Gummi Bear’s love for you more than anything else. You can think “Man! My man really loves me! I want other people to know, too!”
I also have almost the same ring! The band on mine is different, and there is a space between the solitaire and the halo.
I really love it, but do know what you mean about being shy. Sometimes I hide it because it seems so flashy, esp. if I’m going someplace where I don’t want to get charged more for a service or something because of it!
Your ring is beautiful. Unfortunately, there are some people who will jusge you for your ring, regardless of what it is. The other day I mentioned to a friend that I’d like a pink, green or sapphire, not a diamond. She tried to talk me out of it, like it’s not an engagment ring if it’s not a diamond!
Hi. First off I love your house!! I would love to move in with you. I also love your ring (liked the first one too but definitely prefer your new one). Sometimes I feel a bit funny about my ring too because I think sometimes people are thinking to themselves I look too young to be getting married, etc. But at the same time I love to get compliments on it because I know my man picked it out.
Let me be yet another person to say…Rocking House and a Gorgeous Ring. I’m there with you on the ring because people used to give me grief about not showing off the ring and/or the fact that I was engaged. Your ring design is one of my favorites. I’m really grooving on the whole mid century mod lately and love your house and decor. I’m trying to combine traditional and mid century mod for our house and it’s a very slooow process.
Add me to the list! Love the ring, love the house, love everything
My ring is almost exactly the same, just a cushion cut. My fiance proposed on a vacation and we sent photos home. My friends and family thought that I had an ENORMOUS diamond because the stones surrounding the center stone seemed to blend in the photos. My coworkers were all itching to see it when I got back and they had a weird reaction. It was “big,” but not J Lo-esque. “Ohhhh…. Oh! It’s beautiful!” I love, love, love it, but I am still shy about it!
BEAUTIFUL ring, and GREAT house. I love it. Love them both. Don’t be shy….if people are making snap impressions about you without knowing you, or anything about you, they’re the ones who are snooty….
[...] Shy About The Shiny. by Miss Gummi Bear [...]
Mrs. Gummi Bear, San Francisco
Age and Occupation: 25, Japanese Importer/Illustrator
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 24, Game Developer/Programmer
Engagement Date: April 15, 2006
Wedding Date: October 13, 2007
Blogging Since: June 19, 2007
Venue: Organic farm an hour from San Francisco
About Me: I live for anthropologie, design blogs, sweets, japanese zakka, and vintage goods. We just bought our first home together and live with our two puppies and cat - it's a strange mixture of vintage, high-tech (we have 7 computers and 21 video game systems in all), and a whole lot of fur. Our wedding tries to embody the Japanese idea of "slow life", which is truly taking the time to enjoy food, company, and your environment!
Hi Miss Gummy Bear! Your ring is great! Don’t hide it, it’s be-a-utiful! Personally, I love it when people lookat/ask about my ring. It gives me the opportunity to tell a story about me and the Mr. I am not shy of the shiny.