A Radish By Another Name…

A Radish By Another Name…

July 11th, 2007 @ 9:29 am by Mrs. Radish
Share

I have no plans to take Mr. Radish’s last name after the wedding. You may be thinking that I have some great philosophical reasons for doing this… but, really, the main thing is just that I like my name and I intend to keep it. It’s as simple as that. I suppose I could hyphenate, change my middle name to my last name, or we could make up a new last name for both of us, but I don’t like any of those options as much. Luckily, Mr. Radish isn’t offended by my rejection of his moniker, but just in case he really wanted to have matching names, I did offer to let him take mine instead. He gracefully declined the offer. I guess prefers to keep his own, too.

Anyway, here is a short list of why I like my name:

It has the letter “X” in it
It is very short
It is easy to rhyme with things and has led to many great nicknames
I like my signature
It sounds good with my first name
I don’t feel like changing my e-mail address
I have a lot of checks and address labels that I don’t want to throw out and I don’t want to have to order new ones
I don’t like the way that people pronounce Mr. Radish’s name (it’s a French name, but no one ever says it right)

Perhaps more importantly, though, it’s not fair that women are expected to take their husband’s name when nothing like this is expected of men. It’s kind of a double standard, wouldn’t you say?

Mr. Radish and I have already decided that if we ever have children we will give them both of our names (either by hyphenation or by giving them one name as their middle name) so that eliminates any concern about our kids, should we ever have any, having a different name from me. Also, I’ve been recording and performing music under my own name for a while now and it would feel kind of weird to start doing it under a different name. Mr. Radish and I are in a band together, too, and we don’t want to make a big deal out of it that we are married to each other because it could become too “cutesy,” and we aren’t that kind of band.

For women who want to take their husbands last names there is nothing wrong with that either. People have a variety of reasons for changing or not changing their names, and no one should judge anyone else for what they decide to do. I guess my point is just that I don’t think that women should feel pressured into doing it if it’s not what they really want to do. The freedom of choice is a beautiful thing!

I suspect that there is a growing number of women who are keeping their last names. What about all you bees and readers - do you plan to keep your name, hyphenate, or take his? What are your reasons for doing so?

Tags: legal, syracuse |

Share |

Latest Gallery Pics

Hot Pink and White with Zebra 36" Lighted Spandex Ostrich Feather Centerpiece

76 Responses to “A Radish By Another Name…”

1 2 3 4 Last

Guest

Manda

I plan on becoming one of those girls with two middle names and taking his name as my last. I am doing this for a number of reasons: 1) We had a son early on in our relationship and gave him my man’s last name and I HATE HATE HATE not having that in common with my child. 2) I love my fiance’s name, and have a few issues with my own 3) My [adoptive] dad passed away last December and since I fought to get his name about 10 years ago, I just can’t let it go; but my middle name from birth has strong meaning to our family, so there ya go just call me Miss. Will be Four Name.

7/11/07 @ 9:34 am (reply)

Guest

I’m keeping mine too! My fiance didn’t care either way, and I’ve published with my maiden name already. Also, my parents didn’t have any sons, only daughters, and my sister kept her name too- I think it’s nice to retain that family name otherwise our generation would be the last.

7/11/07 @ 9:35 am (reply)

Guest

angie

I’m planning on taking my bf’s last name but I will have 2 last names. I’ve been who I am my whole life, and am very attached to my last name. I currently go by firstname middle initial last name, so when we’re married i will be firstname middle initial mylastname hislastname. No hyphen.
I just realized I don’t even know if that’s allowed - legally speaking… haha if not oh well! I’ll just keep my last name then.

7/11/07 @ 9:40 am (reply)

Guest

Wedding Planning Ideas

Girl power! In this day and age, “name keeping” is much more common…especially if you have a fabulous last name!

7/11/07 @ 9:41 am (reply)

Guest

katherine

I’m undecided. I’m not crazy about my last name- it’s an adjective that’s not attractive. However, my FI’s last name is difficult to pronounce and spell and I’m not too crazy about having that name either. So, two months to go and I’m still undecided.

7/11/07 @ 9:44 am (reply)

Guest

Megan

I’m following the same plan as you Ms. Radish. I’m keeping my last name because, well, it’s mine and everyone knows me by that name. Plus, I’m an elementary school teacher and I don’t think my kids can deal with the name change thing. They also voted for me to keep my last name.

As for our future offspring they will have a hyphented last name. Which makes me wonder….what will they do when they get married? Oh, well I’ll let them decide:)

7/11/07 @ 9:45 am (reply)

Guest

kate

I actually believe the trend in women keeping their name has been decreasing, after a high in the 1990’s or so. I think around 10% of women in the US keep their name. I read the research a year or so ago when I got married.

I kept my name and couldn’t be happier. For a while I was making up all these reasons when people asked me about it, like how I was published and women in my field usually keep their names. Recently though I’ve realized that I don’t need any excuses - I wanted to keep my name, that should be enough. No one asks men for reasons why they didn’t change their name. While I think my husband’s name is cute with my first name, it isn’t me.

7/11/07 @ 9:52 am (reply)

Guest

joy

I would totally do what Ms. Radish is doing, if it were possible to give our children both our names are long and difficult to pronounce/spell. His is 11 letters and mine is 8. So hypenation is out of the question. I’m probably going to keep mine for now, but our children will have his name so we’ll see how I feel then.

7/11/07 @ 9:52 am (reply)

Guest

Andrea

I am taking his last name. I am probably in the cultural minority here, but I am really excited to be united as a team with my new hubby. I think sharing a name is a great way to show it! I don’t mind losing a bit of my “identity” because I am no longer just me, I will be half of a 2-person team. He offered for me to keep my name if I want to, but I really don’t.

7/11/07 @ 9:53 am (reply)

10.

Guest

fizzy

I went round & round on this one, because I’m in academia and there seem to be judgments made regardless of what you choose to do.

For the sake of legality, I don’t mind having the same last name as DH, but I’d dreamed of being Dr. Mylast for such a long time that I didn’t want to let that go. I’m also starting a new job soon, so I had to decide quickly. I did feel that it was a nice compromise for DH to have the same name, as he’s packing up and moving to a new city for my career.

Anyway, I ended up going with four names, with my last name being a second middle name. The social security office had no problems with this at all. My tax paperwork at my job has my new last name, but I’ll go by mylast-hislast for professional purposes.

Our children (if we have them) can have just the new last name. I don’t care about that.

7/11/07 @ 9:54 am (reply)

11.

Guest

Nopinkertons

I’m keeping mine for several reasons–like you, I like my name, I’m used to it, I’ve worked under it, it goes well with my first name, etc. Also, because I am Asian and my fiance is not, I would feel funny taking a non-Asian last name. Combined with my first name, my fiance’s last name would produce a full name that screams “German.” I’m so not German :-). It makes me uncomfortable to imagine myself using this very non-Asian name, like I would be pretending to be something I’m not.

I can’t hyphenate because our names together produce a rather awful combination–it doesn’t just sound bad, it means something silly.

Happily, my fiance is quite firm in his belief that women shouldn’t have to change their names, so no problems there!

The kids question does throw a wrench in the works; since we can’t give them a hyphenated name (oh, the teasing they’d endure!), they’ll probably end up with my fiance’s name. I’m hoping not having the same name as they do won’t cause problems, but if it does, I’ll have to switch. I have seen women I work with forced into this because they got tired of having to explain/justify it every time, but hopefully with each passing year it becomes more common, and we won’t have to worry about it!

7/11/07 @ 9:57 am (reply)

12.

Guest

my current middle name is my mom’s maiden name (which is common practice i think in the country i grew up in), but my parents are divorced and my mom remarried ages ago and has taken her new husbands last name. so while i was growing up, sometimes my friends would still call my mom, mrs so and so and I’d just correct them, or tell them up front before meeting her that she was now, Mrs. new husband’s last name.

i never had any issues growing up with my mom having a different last name than i did, so im pretty set on keeping my last name (even though i dont particularly like it and people mispronounce it all the time!!! haha) but simply because there would be a lot of paperwork to change and i am professionally already known by my maiden name.

is that possible to keep your maiden name legally but still be referred to as mrs. husbandsname to privately?

7/11/07 @ 10:05 am (reply)

13.

Guest

Kesha

I’m taking my FI’s last name - I actually can’t wait to be Mrs. D! I will also use my maiden name as a second middle name.

7/11/07 @ 10:06 am (reply)

14.

Guest

rachel

I’m going to be taking my fiance’s last name when we get married and hyphenating my middle name to include my current last name. My reasons (ahem) are: 1) I’m going to be a middle school teacher, but although I love when my students call me Miss CurrentLastName I cannot STAND when they call me Mrs. CurrentLastName. And I don’t know why. But they do it a lot 2) Other than when my kids say it, I’m not really attached to my last name, but my fiance IS really attached to his and loves the symbolism of us having the same name, essentially being Mr. & Mrs. SameLastName, one flesh, all that good marriage stuff

I actually really considered hyphenating my last name to include both of ours and it sounded really good! But because of his issues with it I decided to do it this way.

Oddly enough though, between the two of us we have 5 pets (dog, ferret, 2 gerbils, turtle) and we’ve taken to calling them our little “MyLastName-HisLastName”s. Doubt we’ll be doing this with any real children though

7/11/07 @ 10:07 am (reply)

15.

Guest

Pencils

I kept my name. It’s been my name for a very long time, it’s a fairly cool name in the right circles–physicists and mathematicians love me–and I’m well known in my field. Also, I don’t like my husband’s name very much. It’s a fairly common one, but it’s also one that is similar to a slang word for, well, you get the idea. Besides, this is ME. As Popeye said, I yam who I yam–I’m not going to change at this point in my life.

7/11/07 @ 10:07 am (reply)

16.

Guest

Amy

More power to you Miss Radish!

I’m happily chaning my name so that it will be FirstName Currentlastname FI’slast name. I hate to give up my middle name because it is a family name but I have created a professional identity with my current last name already and if I just ditch it all together people may not know who I am. Why am I not just keeping my last name you ask- well it stinks. It is the same as a popular syrup brand and I have been teased since birth–yay! no more syrup jokes!

I am so looking forward to the day when I can make reservations at a restruant or use my credit card and not get jokes. Wahoo! New, boring last name here I come.

7/11/07 @ 10:12 am (reply)

17.

Guest

christina

Happily changing my name and getting rid of mine. I live in a somewhat small town (25,000 people) where my dad and his LARGE (13 kids) family grew up. I hate it when people sit there and try to figure out who’s kid I am and then wind up not knowing my dad anyway.

7/11/07 @ 10:15 am (reply)

18.

Guest

kate

I used to make up reasons why I kept my name for whenever people asked but now I’ve realized I don’t need a reason. It’s just what I wanted to do and I couldn’t be happier with my decision.

7/11/07 @ 10:17 am (reply)

19.

Guest

Aliya

Good for you Ms. Radish! This is a highly personal decision and it kills me when people make judgements about which name you are/aren’t taking.

I’m taking his, but keeping my last and middle (so, like lots of posters above, I’ll be MyFirst MyMiddle MyLast HisLast). I think I will be going by MyFirst MyLast HisLast; I like my middle name and it has meaning, so I’m mostly just keeping it for posterity.

7/11/07 @ 10:20 am (reply)

20.

Guest

Neko

I’m taking his last name. We both want to have the same last name and, while my fiance in general wouldn’t have a problem taking my name, I have two surnames(my mom kept her name) so we decided it would just be easier to go with his. I’m also getting married fairly young(between undergrad and grad school) so it isn’t like I have an established career with my maiden name(that might make me think a little harder although I’d probably still change)

7/11/07 @ 10:22 am (reply)

1 2 3 4 Last