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Dani - consider being introduced as “please welcome the happy couple!” or “welcome John and Jane!” And I’d do it before dinner or you won’t be able to eat!
ml - I’m spending 2,500 for my photographer in Costa Rica getting full day coverage with two photographers, and all the images are given to me on CD in color, b/w, and sepia and I get the rights to the pictures - all of them, the good, the bad, the ugly
angie - I’m fairly certain that the license is just the paperwork that allows you to get married, you then have to actually get married - you can do it in front of a justice of the peace though during your lunch break, just bring along two witnesses - that’s what my best friends parents did; they used coworkers.
Cessa - chances are if their names were in there, they helped to make the quilt, or at least that would be my assumption. You could get away with just waxing eloquent about the quilt in the thank you note without ever saying that they helped make it or not.
Nicole - people will assume that they will be paying their own way, I have always seen bachlorette parties where everyone pays their own way except the bride.
Emily - I’d just put my foot done and say you have to get your hair done at the salon that everyone will be at. If you think she’s going to throw off your timeline, chances are you’re right. At the very least, make someone in charge of her for getting there on time - maybe mom?
Dani, this could be a good time to let everyone know that you have decided to keep your name, so you don’t have to explain it over and over again later! Something like “For the first time as a married couple, let’s welcome Dani Doe and John Smith!”
T - a white veil usually does not clash with an ivory dress. It worked perfectly for me. So if it works, you can save time and money by not dying it.
Dani - you can be announced as “Entering the bride and groom Dani and your fiance’s name.” or something similar. And usually this comes before dinner. You dont’ need to be announced at all if you’d prefer.
Bettina- you can make one for each person, or for each couple. Sometimes the caterers use the seating cards to figure out who’s eating what so having one per person is best.
Apple- I usually cut mine first to eliminate any chance of smearing and also so it would fit into my printer using a simple razor knife. I used a regular laser jet, my friend used a HP inkjet.
CT- i would ask the reception site if the tips include tips for the coordinator. If it does, I say, dont worry about it. But if your coordinator has been/is really awesome, extra tip is always appreciated.
ML- I had Chris Bickford in the Outerbanks in NC for $3200, but his prints are $14 each, albums about $1500, and dvd of photos are
$750.
Angie- I believe in most places you need some sort of witness signing. In PA I heard you dont’ need an officiant, so one bride had all her friends and guests sign the license.
Nicole - all people coming to the bach party can chip in for all the brides’ stuff for the night, and also their own food and hotel night stay if necessary. But usually the bridesmaids will take care of the games, agenda, and gifts.
Emily - I would suggest that she either make her hair appointment earlier, or get her hair down with the rest of the girls. Tell her you’d feel more comfortable if she was with you and the other girls all day so no one gets lost and stranded.
T- you could dye your veil yourself, using tea. i would try to test it first on a sample/ test piece of tulle very similar to what you have for your veil to see how long it needs to stay in there. After you reach your desired shade, i’d say that you’d be safe placing it in the dryer on the no heat setting. Or you could hang/ drip dry. it sounds nuts, i know, but using tea to dye fabrics has been used for quite a long time! good luck:)
Dani - wouldn’t it be weird to be introduced after you’ve already had dinner with everyone? We are being introduced and going straight into our first dance. We will already have everyone’s attention as we enter the room, so we don’t have to interrupt the festivities. Our caterer will have food plated for the two of us so we can eat while everyone else maneuvers the buffet. After about 20 minutes we will do the two parent dances then open the dance floor. It just helps break things up a little so guests don’t have to watch 15 solid minutes of dancing before they get to join in.
AmandaB - we are sticking with the traditional classical music for the processional - Mozart’s Pachelbel Canon in D for the moms, their part in lighting the unity tapers, and the bridesmaids; then Wagner’s Bridal Chorus/Wedding March for me.
Emily S - talk to your sister. Tell her she can get her hair done elsewhere ONLY IF she can meet you at the salon the rest of you will be at so you can all ride to the ceremony together. Or, tell her everything is starting an hour before it really does so even if she’s late it won’t matter. Does she own up to having a problem being on time? If so, just tell it to her straight and yeah, get her a babysitter 
New Question- I’m looking for gift ideas for a male and a female reader
does anyone have ideas of a song i can dance to with my step-dad? nothing about “you’re my little girl” b/c i don’t feel like i am, but i don’t want to disregard the 12 years he’s been in my life.
i’m also dancing with my dad, so i guess i’m also wondering about the order of these dances–i’d almost like to dance with step-dad first, then dad, but does that make sense? or should i just do it like i want? sorry, two-part question.
New question: FI and I are thinking about including a hymn in our ceremony, but don’t know where in the order of things to put it. Where do you put special music? Also, we’d like to include our guests by inviting them to sing along as well (if they’re comfortable doing so), but is this normally done? Is it ok?
EmilyS: I have the same problem with two of my BM. They are always late. It makes me so annoyed. I have spoken to one about it and she has make real efforts! The other one is a lost cause. So my stand is if you are late then sorry you dont get to be in pictures. I have a tight squeeze for my day too and I wont be worring about where everyone is. I would just sit her down and make sure she realizes how rude it is and ask what will help her be on time for the day?
appleb, I just spent the wknd DIY-ing my invites and I totally recommend getting your paper professionally cut beforehand. I’ve tried many many types of paper cutters and they always come out a tiny slanted. ALWAYS. Maybe it’s just me but my BMs couldn’t do it either! And even the slightest non-straight edge may mis-align your printing. It’s especially noticeable if you print anything double-sided.
Even if you cut at home, I say cut, then print. I used a Canon MP 150. I fed it lots of 3.5×5 papers w/o any problems. I know you can feed 4×6 papers into also but not sure how much smaller you can go.
ml- I’m paying $4k in NYC for my photographer. I love her. We customized a package that includes a 2d shooter, 9 hrs, and an engagement shoot w/ print credit. And the other smaller stuff like 4×6 prints, hi-res files, online gallery, etc.
angie- Do you mean you don’t want a ridiculously overblown wedding ceremony? or none at all? ‘Cause don’t you at least need a no frills civil ceremony w/ an officiant and a witness? I only ask ’cause one of my friends thought that once you got the marriage license, she thought you were legally married. I explained to her that the license gives you “permission” to get married and that you’re still not legally married till you get the marriage certificate stating that you are.
Emily S- Put your foot down. Don’t use a screeching bridezilla voice but let her know that it’s immensely impt to you that everyone starts at the same time and place. If she’s really really insistent on not goin w/ everyone (I don’t understand why?), make sure she’s w/ someone who’ll wake her up and get her there on time.
Nicole- I think most ppl expect to pay for themselves at a bachelorette party. But you can always have other BMs subtly spread the word that ppl should bring their own spending $$ if you’re really concerned.
ang - if you get married in colorado (don’t knwo if you can do it anywhere else) you can marry yourself in about 5 minutes. you sign “parties in the marriage,” or something like that where the officiant or j.p. would sign.
on a technical note, you have to walk outside the clerks office to actually sign it.
Thanks for the tips!
Ml - I spent a little over 2000 on photography in southern CA, which is the least I could find that was an acceptable style and quality to me. The next “level” of photogs was 3000 and up, then 5000 and up, which I felt was too much for me to spend.
Question- I’m looking for good stores to get high-quality pink wrapping paper. Any ideas?
ml - husband and wife team of over 25 years in the DFW metroplex, bridal portrait session, 1-11×14, 1-16×20, 24-8×10, 500-4×6 (at least), 6 hours of coverage on the day, all images and their rights on CD, and a leather album to hold the 8×10s all for $1995 plus tax.
Nicole - since it’s a sleepover, you’ll need to put somewhere on the invite (or a separate insert) what guests need to bring (swimsuit, towel, nice outfit for dinner, white elephant gift, lingerie gift for the bride, etc) and it would be very easy to mention either that they need to bring money or that you will be providing snacks and let them figure it out.
~ML~ We’re getting married in Vegas and our photographer is $800 for the day, unlimited time and she includes a e-pic session (which I’ve traded for a Trash the Dress session) and a $200 print credit. Print package I’m choosing in $970 for 200 prints, cd, presentation box, and 2 fine art prints. There may be a couple of other things included but that’s most of it.
bettina: if you need to distinguish meal choices then do individual cards. if not then you can do couple cards. i personally like individual seating cards. but you do what you want to, there are no right or wrongs.
appleb: i made my own with 8.5 x 11 and cut them down. but i didn’t really think about buying the the pieces in the size i need. you should consider a couple of things:
is cost an issue? usually buying larger sheets and cutting it yourself is cheaper. but you also have to think about cutting all that paper and if it’ll be easy for you. if you don’t want to cut it yourself, you can go to kinko’s and have them cut it for you at a cost per cut.
make sure that your printer can handle paper that are smaller sheets of paper without jamming. buy a few sheets of diff sizes and try it out before you decide to see if it works.
i used my paper cutter that i already have and i love it. you can also get decorative blades for it.
http://www.officedepot.com/ddSKU.do?level=SK&id=420823&Ntt=paper%20cutters&uniqueSearchFlag=true&An=text
angie: a marriage license alone doesn’t mean you are married. normally you would get your marriage license before your actual ceremony so your priest could sign it and make you legally married. but if you want to be married, then you file for a marriage license then schedule a civil ceremony where a judge legally marries you.
Emilys: you can have a heart to heart with your sis and let her know the importance of your wedding day and how she needs to be on time. or talk her into going with the rest of you. tell her it will be a good bonding experience and would like her to be there with you that day. or maybe you can have her do it and tell her she needs to be there at 10 instead of 11.
Photography: $6500 for 12 hours, E-Session, Rehearsal Dinner, 1 album for us, 2 parent albums, All images on a DVD, Online purchasing, etc. When we made our list of 3 most important things photography was second only to the food so we decided to go for it and cut corners elsewhere like flowers.
ML - im from NYc and paying 5 K for both video and photography.
Di - Check out the Williams Sonoma calendar of cooking classes, by store location. Each class is for a different dish or skill. Kind of like Home Depot has DIY classes.
Angie - The license is just a permit, means nothing without sealing the deal. The office that issues the license probably has a website with information about civil ceremonies at the courthouse, for a nominal fee. Varies by state/county/courthouse.
could everyone please link their knot bio/page?
Apple:
I was a DIY bride who then turned her DIY invitations into a business and I would definitely suggest using 8.5 x 11 paper and either cutting it down to the size you need yourself or going to a copy place like Fedex/Kinkos or Kwik Kopy (not sure if it’s just a Texas company) to get it cut.
Also consider this for cutting cost:
If your invitation is a 5 x 7, 5 x 5 , or anything less than 5.5 (for the 11 inch paper length) and 8.5 for the (8.5 inch paper length) you can always print 2 on each sheet. For example, if your invitation is a 5 x 7 invitation- cut your paper to 10 x 7 and use the landscape paper direction/column function on your word program to place 2 invitations on one sheet. You then feed into your printer to where it prints landscape.
You would use the same thing for your rsvp card, reception cards, etc. If you have any questions feel free to email- I’m always willing to help. It just cuts cost & makes it easier for you later on. Hope that helps!
Emily - I can understand your sister’s perspective because there is only ONE person that I allow to touch my hair. She might be worried that her hair will not come out the way she wants and she’ll be captured on camera not looking her best. Here’s my suggestion: Call her stylist and tell her the time that you have to be ready (ie tell her that she needs to be done by 10 or 10:30), then have someone pick your sister up at the appointed time. Yes, it’s a hassle but hopefully then both you and your sis can be accomodated. Maybe your dad can pick her up, since dads rarely have much primping to do!
“Emergency day-of kit” question - suggestions on what to put into it? I’m thinking various headache medicines, nail polish, make-up touch ups, other suggestions??
Suggestions on what to take with you to the room for pre-wedding prep time would be great as well - like music, champagne, water, snacks, camera?
And if anyone can point me to some day-of timelines, I would really appreciate it!
New question- where can I get cupcake boxes for guest to take them home?
[...] Sept Bride is looking for gift ideas for a male and female reader. [...]
ml - we’re paying 1700 (for full day 10 hours + engagement photos + plus albums and +big print) but he’s a close friend so we got a discount. When I was looking, if you wanted the entire day… you would start at about 2000$ and this is in southern California.
Sari — Go to papermart: http://www.papermart.com/index/index_food_box.htm
Cessa — send them all thank you notes individually but instead of saying thanks for grandma’s quilt, just thank them all for the quilt.
Sept Bride — perhaps a thank you card and maybe a gift card to a starbucks or make a gift basket, (like a date night movie basket with a small gift card to blockbuster and some candy and a bag of microwave popcorn).
Got a new question: Who are you suppose to tip other than Coordinators and wait staff? And what is a standard tip?
cessa - thank all three for the contributions you know of for the quilt. Talk more about how beautiful the quilt is and what it means to you to be part of the family than to say who actually made it, except of course, your grandma.
EmilyS: Even if you weren’t worried about your sister’s timing, it still would be nice if she were there with the gang. You could bring champagne (or make it mimosas since it’s morning, just keep it light so you’re not all drunk) and make the hair appt. a gathering that no one would want to miss. And if worse comes to worse, just tell your sister that’s the way it is. It doesn’t make you Bridezilla - it just keeps the BMs together. And if she’s worried about style, just make sure she brings pictures of what she wants, and most stylists can accomodate that - it’s their JOB!
bettina - seating cards tend to be for anyone requiring a plate, a meal, and a chair. Babies in high chairs, by this example, probably don’t need their own seating card, but as someone else mentioned, the cards indicate to the caterer who gets what meal and individualizes the guests who are coming.
Pachabel’s canon is by Johann Pachabel… not Mozart - ? :-p
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Beehive
Feature Launched: Aug 31, 2006
About: A forum for readers to post questions and get feedback from the hive, aka the weddingbee community.
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