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I think I should stay away from The Knot. Every day I check in and see what the other November 3 brides are doing, and realize I am perhaps waaaay behind. Then I think, suck it, ladies, I have stuff done too. Like… invitations ordered and um… shoes bought. Then I go into the section for The Dress and get all angry.
I’m a psycho bride who assumed you would get your dress in before other girls do, if you ordered it before they did. I’m seeing brides receiving their dresses almost a year early. I think, “Why the hell didn’t I tell the dress place my wedding was in September?” I’m impatient. I am Veruca Salt. I want a pony. A shiny pony. And I want it before THAT girl gets HER pony, because then I’m better. It’s only fair, I ordered my dress in January, and I get it first. 
I’m really kidding here, but I want my DRESS! I think it’s time I stay away from The Knot, I don’t like the Kiwi that I become when I visit!
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