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In my post about the UPS guy bringing my invitations (they are here, and they are FABULOUS), I mentioned that I’m sending them out two months before the RSVP date, taking to mind the whole 6-8 weeks in advance thing. Then someone mentioned that the 6-8 weeks is before the wedding, not the RSVP date. I knew that. Totally (thanks, guys).
So, as I sit here, the RSVP date is set (literally, in writing) for September 29th, the date our caterer and coordinator gave us. Since I’d rather just do what someone tells me to do and not actually have to think about it myself, this was fine with me. 
What can I say, if I freaked out about the wording on the invite alone, you expect me to calmly total the time I’ll need? 
Anyway, if I send them out the day I was thinking, July 27th, it’s two months before the RSVP time, and three months before the wedding. That’s like… (picture me counting on my fingers, I am such the good bookkeeper) twelve weeks. Yes, it’s starting to sound crazy.
So, I think I’ll send them out mid-August to end of August. Settled. Tell me something, if there is a person you see daily, what do you think of handing them their invitation? If you got an invitation hand delivered, would you be offended?
How about you guys help me out by telling me your “optimum” send date, with the RSVP date? Your wedding date may be helpful, too, to help me figure out the send date in correspondence to your wedding date. You guys rock!
oh that sounds much more reasonable! the typical protocol is 2 mos prior to the date. you’ll need about 1 month to do seating chart and give numbers to your caterer, so your rsvp date is good.
i’m actually sending out 2 waves of invites. my first wave will go out 3 mos in advance for the A list, due 2 mos prior to the wedding. that way, i have a better idea of how many invites i can send out from the B list. and they won’t feel they were invited last minute cuz it’s still 2 mos prior to the occasion. then i’ll have my final numbers about 1 month before the wedding.
oh and i think it’s fine if you hand-deliver invitations. i think it’s more special for people actually. and you save on stamps. of course, this works against people who love getting mail. :\ can’t please them all though…
We have our rsvp date for 2 weeks before the caterer needs the final count. That way we can still call people we haven’t heard from yet.
Also, I don’t think it is rude to hand-deliver an invitation, but I personally love getting “real” mail as opposed to just bills and adds. So I tried to snail mail most of mine because I wanted to pass on the happy feeling. And it paid off! One person I was actually going to hand the invite to, called me when she got it and was so excited because it was her first “real” mail in her new place!
I did hand deliver a lot of my invites.
As for sending the invites, I sent mine out the end of May for a June 30 RSVP deadline for an early Aug wedding. (Although I admit I did send out mid June due to not having everyone’s address)
My caterer doesn’t need numbers until 1 week prior. This helped me because some ppl did not send in an RSVP and I was told through the grapevine that they were coming. So…I had to call them…two weeks after the deadline. What helped me is that I started doing the seating chart as soon as I got RSVPs back.
A DOC suggested to set the rsvp date 4 saturdays before the big day. and to spend that sunday calling those whom i haven’t received from. i wish i had not listened and set it for 6 saturdays before…there’s only 6 days until my rsvp date…i’m still hoping 1/4 of these rsvps find there way to my house within those days. there all pre-addressed and pre-stamped. i’ll be on the phone for a while on sunday.
I think its fine to hand-deliver invites, but I also spent a few futile minutes trying to convince my sister that e-vite would be a good way to save money on her wedding….etiquette isn’t really a big thing with me.
We had our RSVP date a month before the wedding - my wedding is September 1st but we have 75% of our guests from out of town so I sent my invites out in mid-May before postage went up (I used the hershey’s kisses LOVE stamp) so they could try to book tickets before the insane summer prices kicked in.
We hand delivered quite a few– one friend who moves, my cousin who didn’t give me her new address, and the people we are inviting last minute. And we are STILL inviting. sheesh.
I hand delivered about 10 of them, to family and friends. Good thing too, I had EXACTLY enough stamps for the rest of them!
I’m sending out my invitations August 27th (my sister’s bday) and the RSVP date is September 26th (my birthday). The wedding date is October 27th (the day before my parent’s anniversary. Corny - I know, but I love how the dates all correspond to something meaningful.
This will work great if you planned on doing 2 waves of invitations or having an A-list/B-list…
We mailed our’s June 18th, Hotels are reserved through July 17th, RSVP Date August 1, Headcount due to Reception August 11, Wedding August 18.
I hand delivered three of our invitations. Two friends came to visit the week we mailed invites - so we hand delivered. The third was given to an invite that I see once or twice a week. Everyone else that’s invited lives where the wedding is, or somewhere else in the country (not where we live) so hand-delivering was not an option for 98% of our list.
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Mrs. Kiwi, Los Angeles Age and Occupation in 06: 27, Bookkeeper Fiance's Age and Occupation: 27, P.E. Teach/Coach @ private schools in LA Engagement Date: March 31, 2006 Wedding Date: November 3, 2007 Venue: Radisson Hotel About Me: I'm a bookkeeper who failed high school algebra. I'm currently living in Los Angeles, literally a street over from where I grew up with Mr. Kiwi, my honey of three years. We have a jumbo mini-dachshund (seriously, he's huuuuge), and we're planning an autumn themed wedding on a shoestring, paid for by ourselves. The wedding date is my late grandma's birthday, I needed her there somehow, and that seemed like the best way for us. I can't believe I'm a Bee! I couldn't be more proud!
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