Words of Wisdom
Feature Launched: July 9, 2007
About: A forum where users share their best advice on various wedding topics.
Words of Wisdom: Gown Shopping
July 18th, 2007 @ 5:34 pm by Words of Wisdom
What are your best words of wisdom for brides looking for their wedding dresses? What were you surprised/disappointed/excited to find out in your gown shopping adventures?
31 Responses to “Words of Wisdom: Gown Shopping”
What I learned that if you budget is only 1000 or 2000 dollars, do not go try on a vera wang..it will ruin you =)
i was surprised at how exhausting it could be. lifting those heavy gowns. my arms were noodles at the end of the day.
I know everyone says this, but try on gowns you don’t THINK you like! The gown I ended up buying had a feature I really disliked so I told the woman I didn’t want to try it on. She made me anyway, telling me they could alter it away easily, and I ended up falling in love! So even if you have set rules in your head for what you think you want, just try on a little bit of everything anyway just in case!
Know your budget and shop at places that HAVE your budget. If you can only spend no more than 1500, then don’t go to a top name designer store… Unless it’s a sample sale! 
I was pissed when the bridal shop pressured me to do alteration at their shop. Alteration should be part of the budget.
Don’t compromise on quality, but also remember you are wearing it for 6 hours, so fine quality and workmanship CAN be delicate, as it’s not a garmet that needs to be durable for regular wear.
If you’re not superstitious, consider wearing a borrowed or used dress to really save.
It’s okay to shop alone.
it really helped that there are places like pearl’s place (www.pearlsplace.com) and http://www.netbride.com. i got my exact wedding gown in pristine condition for almost half the price from the dress shop!
and ditto the exhausting part as well as the try things on that you don’t think you’re going for. i totally ended up with a ball skirt that i thought i was trying to stay away from.
This may seem silly, but bring proper undergarments! At all but one salon that I went to, they follow you in the dressing room and you want to be prepared! Bring a strapless bra and wear light colored underwear that won’t show underneath the dress…
Wear a strapless bra and boy shorts if you’re modest about being naked in front of people. Most shops have a consultant get you in and out of each dress, and not all have bras/slips for you to wear.
I echo Miss Peppermint and LAGirl23.
Like a car - do your research, don’t buy right away, test as many times as you want.
I agree w/ Sarah.
I might even add that it’s also OK to *secretly* shop alone, then go back, or not. Why get everyone else all in your business and opinionated and emotionally involved prematurely? Wait til you rule some styles/designers/prices out and then — if you must — bring the gaggle of ladies to ooh and aah over the dress.
going shopping alone initially worked great for me. once i narrowed it down to my top 3 dresses, i brought in others for their opinion.
don’t forget to compare prices with different salons. i ended up getting a great deal that way!
Shop earlier than you think you need to. You’d be surprised how long it takes to get your order placed, get it made, get it shipped to you, do alterations (which includes several fittings), do a bridal portrait, and get it pressed and cleaned before the big day. Even if you have to wait on the alterations until closer to your date, at least order the dress and have it in your possession for added peace of mind.
I’m mostly just speaking to the plus sized brides-to-be, like myself… Call ahead to salons and see if they carry larger sized samples. See how they react when you ask, and keep in mind how nice or helpful they seem. It was so hard for me at the first couple shops I went to that, in tears, I gave up all together. I’m now having my dress made for me. However, I found out later that there are lots of shops that will (and WANT) to help ladies like us. Just my two cents.
Stand your ground with regard to your budget, salespeople can be very pushy trying to get you to spend more than you’re comfortable with by getting you to try on jewelry, shoes, veils etc and then have you become emotionally attached to the look. If you can’t afford something, don’t try it on and don’t let them talk you into it.
Also, personally I just won’t stand for having a woman follow me into the changeroom or waltz in while I’m half naked unannounced. Tell them you’re not comfortable with that if you’re not, put the dress on by yourself and then open the door for them to zip you up. Having said that, they will still see your undergarments if they’re zipping you up, so wear something you wouldn’t be embarassed for others to see.
Think long term–will I need alterations? How much will that add on to the cost of the dress? Do I need a petty coat? All these things add up. For me, a corset-style dress fixed the alteration cost–as I only need a bussel.
Have fun!
if you’re ethnic, don’t feel pressured into having a white gown just because of all the magazines. especially, if you’re chinese, your mom will con you into getting a cheong-sam/qipao and then you’ll figure out it’s much prettier and costs much less than an actual white dress…or you can do what i did and have both kinds of dresses 
but that ends up costing more $$$.
- Have an idea of what you want, bring pictures of dresses you would like to see that fall within your budget. It helps the consultant in picking out the styles you want.
- Don’t be afraid to try on different styles too! It’s exhausting, yes, but worth it. I had such a clear idea of what I thought I wanted, but after trying them on, I ended up with a completely different style which I LOVE.
- It helps to comparison shop. I found THE dress in one store, but I called the first store I went to and they were able to save me $500.
- If you don’t want to shop alone, don’t bring your entire wedding party on the first day shopping. I brought my mom and sister (my MOH) and it was a nice, quiet time (without too many opinions).
- Have FUN!
Don’t be afraid to negotiate a little! I found my dream dress at a boutique in DC with my mom, but was turned off by a pushy saleswoman and left without making the purchase. Back in Charlotte, I found a boutique that carried the dream dress and told them about my bad experience. To my surprise, they offered a 10% discount out of the blue!
Don’t let any sales lady push you to reconsider your budget!!!
I had this one lady find me a dress that was 2 times what I wanted to spend. The dress was gorgeous and she kept complimenting me and using that to push me to buy the dress.
I didn’t budge.. (okay almost) but luckily my bm kept me in check!
Try on EVERY style, the style you thought wouldn’t look good on you…might turn out to be THE best!
Check out more than one boutique. Even venture into gown sales. At many bridal shows you can get a coupon booklet or some sort of coupon..it might come in handy! Especially if the coupon can be used for more than just the gown (i.e., bms’ dresses, jewellery)
Bring photographs of what you like AND even what you do not like.
Bring a bottle of water…it gets tiring and you might get dehydrated! (okay, maybe not really…but you certainly will be tired)
Bring along more than 1 friend and a camera. Most boutiques will allow you to take photos.
ANNNDD last but not least, DON”T GIVE UP!!! Just when you think 30 dresses is too many to try on….the last one might be it!
Like Tricia, I’m a plus-size bride and knew from past experience how teensy sample sizes are. My first marriage I was a size 10/12 (not huge by any means) and could barely fit into any gowns - the backs gaped open and it was not a joyful experience.
If plus-size, call the salons in advance about the availability of plus-size samples or bite the bullet and head to David’s Bridal. I was very pleased with the selection and quality of the gowns (the service? just eh). It was so pleasant trying on dresses that would zip all the way up! I not only cried because I found the perfect dress (60% off!) but also I had numerous dresses to choose from!
Anywho, suggestions for brides of any size:
1) Shop weeknights. Saturdays are crazy busy.
2) Limit your entourage to two ppl max.
3) Check shyness at the dressing room door. Wedding dresses are often heavy, bulky and awkward at best. Let the salon attendant help. That said, I borrowed a crinoline and long-line bra from the salon.
4) Let the salon attendant bring you styles you hadn’t originally considered. This is their job – they see different body sizes and shapes everyday and can help you find the right style that flatters you best. Both dresses I purchased were completely different from what I originally thought I wanted!
5) Start at the lower end of your price range. As many posters have pointed out, the extras add up very quickly.
6) Feel free to buy your veil, undergarments, shoes, headpiece, bridal jewelry and handbag somewhere else. The markup on those goods in a bridal salon is horrendous.
7) Same for alterations.
9) Relax. Breathe. Take a sip or two of water.
10) Again, keep an open mind on styles.
If you are ordering a dress be sure to do treat this like any major purchase, and be prepared for any disaster you can foresee in the ordering process. When I signed my contract I was very proud of myself for doing two things:
1. I checked the style numbers they had on my contract with the actual tags on the dress. I didn’t want their typo to leave me with something I didn’t like.
2. I asked to see a swatch of the fabric as it should look brand new.
But the one thing I didn’t ask is leaving me kicking myself:
ask if there will be any color variance on any beading or embroidery work on the dress.
I assumed the embroidery would look like the sample, but it wasn’t, and really altered the look of the dress. In my case, my heavily embroidered gown used 100% silver thread, that had apparently tarnished to a cool pewter color on the sample, but my brand new dress looks very barely there silver and much more precious than I was anticipating.
While the designer has offered to re-embroider my dress to match, the time until my wedding is too short for me to feel comfortable sending it back to them.
So, I guess that’s another suggestion - if your dress comes in and something isn’t right, speak up and demand a resolution that makes you comfortable - you deserve it!
Don’t be pressured into buying the dress, do shop around!! Prices vary wildly from vendor to vendor!
Try things you would not normally pick. My dress isn’t so interesting on the hanger but va-voom! on me!
Don’t freak out if you don’t find “THE ONE”! I didn’t, I liked my dress but I didn’t looooove it. I did shop around alot, even went to Vera Wang where they expected me to fit into the size 2 sample dresses that were available. Nothing just ever really clicked. So I got a dress I was happy enough with and got a kick ass veil that I still looooove and the most amazing shoes ever. Both of which I can still wear everyday.
Just kidding.
I’m glad I didn’t blow all that money. But I get it if you’re lucky enough to find your dream dress.
I am posting this before reading the others so I apologize if I am repeating what others have said…but…
1) try on everything…just like Stacy and Clinton say on What Not to Wear, you have no idea what something really looks like until it is on your body
2) Seriously consider the amount of money you are spending on your dress. It really is only one day. I understand it is an IMPORTANT day…but you can find things at the lower range that are just as lovely as things that are crazy-go-nuts expensive and then save the cash for something useful (and I am not even suggesting philanthropic usefulness…seriously, save your cash for extra food or a better band or something
Try on EVERYTHING in every style your first time out (echoing Miss Corn). Don’t dismiss something because you hate bows etc. One, you may like it regardless or two, it could be changed. The dress I ended up buying was one I hated on the rack but the shop owner insisted I needed to try it on.
Also, go and try in the size you are. Do NOT go and buy or try on sizes in the size you HOPE to be. If you fail to loose the weight you are now stuck with a dress that may not flatter the size you are.
Bridal garden (NY) was a great place to be at, if you’re a 4/6/8 size bride-to-be, and don’t mind receiving NO SERVICE whatsoever. The selection there is decent, and i found my DREAM DRESS at an amazing price (below $600 with a thousand sparkling crystals!)
Enjoy being the bride-to-be!
Probably repeating here but- do shop around and be willing to try on dresses that you would probably never select for yourself. The salesperson helping me actually found my dress, she wanted me to try it on because I was tall and could work it. I put it on and walked out and my mom started crying. We were done shopping!
I found it was also similar to buying a car and getting things thrown in to seal the deal. I ended up finding my dress 2 years before our wedding day and got a cathedral veil free, 10% off the price of the gown and the alterations & bustle prices were fixed with 2005 prices since that is when I ordered the dress.
If you live out of state, check to see if you can get the dress mailed to you so you don’t have to pay in-state taxes. This was another option that I had.
