Weddingbee Blog

I addressed them according to the couple. I know some wives who don’t mind be part of a mr and mrs. smith duo. Other women I know are admantly against taking their husband’s name, so I addressed it as two separate names. With Families I did, The Smith Family.

or you can do as some mail spammers do:
Christina Hill or current resident.

i totally agree. i’m addressing our invites this way:

single: jane doe
couple but not married: jane doe & john smith
married: jane & john doe
family: doe family

ladies first!

Similarly to turtle, I took what I thought the couple would like/wouldn’t like into consideration. As far as the ettiquette rules go, it should be:

Mr. and Mrs. John Smith if they are a married couple that wouldn’t mind using the joint name

Ms. (or Mrs.) Jane Jones and Mr. John Smith if they are a couple where the woman kept her name (women always come first when you’re listing them together on the outer envelope)

Ms. Jane Jones
Mr. John Smith If they are a couple who is not yet married but living together - note that the woman comes first but they are on different lines and they don’t get an “and” because “and” indicates marriage

If the man lives without the woman and you’re addressing it to him but including her in the invite, her name goes on the inner but not the outer like this: Ms. Jones (next line) Mr. Smith. (same holds true if you’re inviting her with a guest that you know the name of, but not living together)

And last but not least, if doing a whole family, then it’s Mr. and Mrs. John Smith (or see above if she’s kept her name) on the outer envelope and on the inner envelope, it’s:
Mr. and Mrs. John Smith
John Jr. and Susan

Hope that helps! I’ve done so much research on this that I’m glad to let someone else have it all!!

Traditional, which of course includes respecting what a person prefers to be called.

http://www.crane.com/navContentProduct.aspx?NavName=Etiquette_Tips&DeptName=Etiquette_Wedding&Name=WedEt_AddressingEnvelope

I am like you, the “Mr. & Mrs. His FName LName” thing kinda weirds me out! In fact I refuse to be announced that way at our wedding! (I’m not a feminist either, but doing it that way feels like you have completely lost our own identity in getting married.). So, I think that the Her FName & His FName LName is appropriate (Martha even said so!). If you address the invite to “The Smith family” people will assume they can being their children - so make sure thats what you are intending!

Oh wow. I haven’t even started thinking about things like this. Thanks to everyone for all of the suggestions that have been posted!

ls-
you mention you’re doing placecards however you received the response cards.

Our response cards looked like this:
M____________

so we had some “M__r & Mrs Mark Smith”
and we had some “M__ark & Jane Smith”
hehe…

We addressed (we had outer envelopes only) couples as “Mr and Mrs John Smith” or “Mrs. Jane Smith and Mr. John Doe” if they are married, but the woman kept her name. We followed the “etiquette” guidelines as closely as possible - for having outer envelopes only though.

I too mused over this for one invitation in particular. There was one couple where the wife was my good friend, had kept her own last name, and her husband was being invited as her guest. It simply felt wrong to address them as “Mr and Mrs John Doe”.

So instead, I addressed them as “MRS and Mr Jane Smith”… and she loved it! She got such a kick out it.

is it okay to put mr. and mrs. hisname hername theirlastname?

that keeps it formal and keeps both names too. is that just never done?

same as tofu. and we didn’t do the M____ on the rsvp. we put Name(s)____ I hate the M____ I don’t know why. When I see the M___ I usually fill it in with a stupid sentence that starts with M. (mountain goats love pickles!) And then put a little note like “Can’t wait!” and sign it with our names. i have had a little trouble with the escort cards though. if i invited a guy and he brings some girl i’ve never met before, it seems like they’ll be looking for a card under his name, not her name, so the guys name first JUST in those instances. But then I realized they’d figure it out by looking at the rest of the cards - ladies first, so I switched it back.