Weddingbee Blog

Seven months is plenty of time to get everything finished AND take a break for a few weeks. Sounds like you are already set with most of your vendors. What is more important right now? Making sure the man you love is fully committed and excited about the big day or starting another DIY project?

I think taking breaks every few weeks throught the entire planning process is a healthy way to not get overwhelmed.

Hello Confused! Ah, how I understand you’re plight - from the other end. Weddings can be fraught with stress and pressure. The question is, is your fiance afraid of marriage, feeling overwhelmed, OR, does this have to do with marrying YOU. There is a difference.

There is nothing wrong with taking breaks. Even my dear boy, who did some, but not nearly as much as me, was burnt out about 1/2 way through - tres normal.

I think you need to ask for fiance if you got married tomorrow - eloped, would it be any better - would it make a difference for his fear? IF he would do it tomorrow then take a good break - focus of what the wedding is really about - which is you, and your relationship, and being together, and planning/sharing a life and relax about the wedding. Have you gone pretty overboard, can you understand why he might be stressed if you have?

I am the one who gets the cold feet on my end - the pressure is not fair. And I HATE contracts of any kind - but, I know what I am doing is right, and I certainly don’t want to cancel the wedding. Questioning, in my opinion, is a good thing - if we never questioned how would we have anything great? From art to music to great love.

Don’t worry. Relax with the planning and start talking. Start talking a lot and seriously and then go get some ice cream and a totally silly movie - and, if you are that way, have some good old fashioned sex.

I have to agree - despite my advice, a counselor or pre-wedding program is probably your best bet.

No matter what the reason for his cold feet, you need to take that seriously and do what is best for the relationship. If that means taking a break, then you do have to really do that. What you need to do for your wedding is not that important, so let it be for a while so you (as a couple) can do what you need to do for your relationship.

I agree with the posters above that counserling might be a good idea. Not necessarily premarital counseling; you could do couples counseling or even just go yourself.

Good luck!

I am a therapist and recently had this issue come up. If you research wedding anxiety you will see as many as 50 percent of engaged people experience some degree of this. It can be frustrating for the world and media to be expecting all smiles and plans, while a person may be struggling with a truly psychological phenomena of anxiety. Make sure he gets plenty of sleep, some exercise, and start talking about what his fears are related to. Also ask him what three marriage relationships was he exposed to the most growing up and what impression did those relationships leave. Regardless, he needs to know that spending life with you is a blessing and privelidge…not a burden to be feared.

Confused - I did a google and came up with this. We are suppose to wed 11/1 and this is our second marriege. He’s getting “COLD” Feet. How did you end up coping, are you happily married.