A Former Anti-Bride Speaks Out

A Former Anti-Bride Speaks Out

July 22nd, 2007 @ 12:30 pm by Mrs. Licorice
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When I was younger, I dreaded attending weddings. I always went to be polite, but I didn’t understand all the fuss. I never saw myself being in a serious relationship, and I thought that if I ever were in one, I would never plan a wedding.

Picture from Modern Bride Magazine

I hear ya sister!

I’ve been independent-minded from the start. I always did what I did because I wanted to. From my observations, being in a relationship smothered one’s true identity, and only a shell of the former self would survive. In addition, I never viewed marriage as long-lasting and worth the trouble. It seemed like a one-way ticket to heartbreak. It depressed me to see so many women wasting their money on poofy white dresses and a bunch of flowers.

A tad pessimistic, no?

All this changed when I met Mr. Licorice. With him, I can still do whatever I want because it’s what he wants, too. Although we are two individuals who often have different points of view, I’ve learned to compromise, and after all these years, I’m still kick-in-the-head in love with him. I’m taking this opportunity to truly experience romance and plan a wedding. I want to slow-dance, wear a white gown, and say vows in front of our closest family and friends. I’m putting a lot energy towards making this day uniquely “us,” and I’m enjoying every second of being a bride. I now resemble the starry-eyed girl in the picture, and that’s okay with me.

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3 Responses to “A Former Anti-Bride Speaks Out”

Guest

i hear ya! i’ve always been an anti-marriage-why-is-it-necessary-anyway kind of girl, but now my mind is changing. it’s like on sex and the city when carrie asks miranda why she’s even having a wedding, and miranda says that she wants to stand in front of her friends and family and say those vows to steve because she loves him. so sweet!

7/22/07 @ 3:12 pm (reply)

Guest

wsukarebear

I find more and more of my anti-bride friends getting into weddings–not necessarily becuase of the wedding itself, but the idea of conventional marriage! But you’re right, with that idea typically comes the image of the white dress, etc.

What’s also funny, though, is all the anti-brides I know have really fun, unique twists in their weddings: one’s wearing a tea-length gown, one’s getting married on a mountain top, etc. Your wedding sounds like it’ll be beautiful with the barn and will be the perfect bride-y/anti-bride wedding.

7/22/07 @ 4:58 pm (reply)

Guest

Pencils

I wasn’t exactly anti-bride in my twenties, I just never thought it would happen to me. Seemed like a very alien idea. I was way too committed to my studies and career–guess I thought if I found The Guy, we’d elope in a romantic way. Then, in my thirties, I started a nasty, secret habit: reading Martha Stewart Weddings. They don’t call it wedding porn for nothing. I treated it like porn, reading it surreptitiously, hiding the magazines afterwards. But then…I met Mr Pencils. And although I was more interested in saving for a house than throwing a blowout wedding, I really, *really* wanted a proper, actual wedding. And then, another funny thing happened: I started to feel as if all the stuff the wedding-industrial complex was pushing down my throat was pretty, but not *necessary.* I realized that the important thing was making my vows in front of my relations and guests. My wedding was the happiest day of my life, and I think it was beautiful, too.

You will have an amazing, memorable wedding, a lot of which will be due to your unique take on the tradition. Good luck! And remember to enjoy yourself.