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jenny - I was there too. But here’s what I realized: I wasn’t way over budget b/c I was going after ridiculously priced items (b/c I like to think of myself as a bargain hunter) I was over b/c I was naive when it came to wedding costs when I set my first budget. Just take a step back and make sure that you’re spending money on the things that mean most to you. Good Luck!
Hey gals!
I’m down to a few short weeks before my “official” wedding, and I have a dilemma. I’ve always envisioned wearing cornflower or royal blue shoes (my something blue) with my ivory gown. But everyone I’ve mentioned this to gives a horrible look of disgust. What do you think?
Curious - I have similar hair to you! What about doing an updo or half/up? Curly hair takes FOREVER to grow. I feel your pain!! Try looking at http://www.naturallycurly.com and see if you can come up with anything there. Good luck!
If anyone’s shopping for shoes in the NYC area, Please don’t forget to take a look at Lord & taylor in midtown! They have 6-7 racks of nice dressy heels & cute flats on sale at $29.99, then another 6-7 racks of those on sale at $49.99! I got my dream shoes (aka DKNY silver heels), which were about $280 @ retail price down at $49.99! : ) YAY bargain!
jenny, ditto what jen said. we were unrealistic as to our expectations at first. and we were far enough out from the date to be able to save a little more. we’re definitely investing in our wedding, but we have prioritized this large expense in our life and we’re okay with the increase in costs because we love everything that we’re planning for. just ask yourself if you can truly afford the things that you want. and if you can, and you won’t go broke, then i think it’s okay. but if you’re about to go into serious debt, then maybe it’s impt to step back and think about the choices that you’ve made and see if you can rethink some of them. good luck!
Jenny - I would look at things you haven’t paid for yet, and see if there is any wriggle room. For example, can you reduce your flower budget by changing to a smaller or simpler centerpiece? Can you decrease the number of hors d’oeuvres served, or put a limit on the bar tab? If you haven’t made programs yet, can you skip them? Can you not give favors?
Good luck!
farmgal — I’m wearing teal shoes and can’t wait! Do what you want and love them! Personally, I think that’s sensible because you can wear them again! I got mine at David’s Bridal (I know, I know) and had them dyed at a local cobbler. They’re exactly what I wanted (minus the water stain - but that was my own doing).
Question for the hive -
The part I don’t like about wedding planning is rejecting vendors. How do you do it? They sent me a proposal via e-mail. How do I respond - “thanks but no thanks” in a nice way?
thank you everyone for the advice! it’s comforting to know that it’s a real situation that most all brides have been in!
amie - i am definitely going to look and see if there’s any wiggle room for the things i haven’t paid for! i realize it’s a little late in the game to renegotiate catering costs, but we can try and cut down from here on out!
jen - thanks for the advice! i am definitely going to ask myself about the importance of everything before i spend a big hunk of money on it!
thank you all! just a little breakdown… =D
Hello,
I have got a question for the beehive. It’s about the veil. Who is supposed to lift the veil? Father of the Bride before giving his daughter away or the Groom after they are officially married?
farmgal– Little strappy blue satin sandals would be cute (just a little flash of color), but probably not solid blue pumps. You don’t want everyone staring at your feet.
farmgal,
I forgot to mention that you should go ahead with your shoes if it’s something you had your heart set on. I will wearing a pair of suede shoes in pink. It’s the same shade of pink as my dress. A lot of people think it may not be a good idea but I love my shoes and look forward to being able to wear them again. The hint of colour will only showing when you lift your skirt. So go with your gut instinct.
Mrs. Bee– My question for the hive: Is it pretty standard to pay $6,000 for photography now? All of the websites I’ve been looking at start at $5,000! Not so long ago, it seemed like $2,000 would get you a pretty good photographer. Is that not the case anymore?
question for the hive:
i’m getting married in hawaii where the attire will be “aloha formal.” the groom is wearing a dark suit and the groomsmen will be wearing white, short-sleeved, button-down shirts and dark slacks. male guests will be wearing aloha shirts and khakis/slacks and women wear what they would normally wear to a wedding on the mainland. any ideas for what my father should wear? aloha shirt seems too informal but suit seems too stuffy. is there anything in between?
Curious, I have the same hair and have wondered the same thing about extensions!
Question for the hive: Can anyone recommend any inexpensive fall flowers for bridal and bm bouquets?
Fiance Knowles: Mums can be really pretty if you pack them tightly together using one (or similar) color. It’s all in the details! line them around the bottom with Camellia leaves and make sure you tie with a beautiful ribbon 
I’m looking for a good Korean makeup artist that isn’t $200 and above in Koreatown, Los Angeles. They don’t have to be professional, but as long as they can do a decent job and not charge me an arm and a leg - I’d love to hire them!
Question- Can anyone recommend a good budget tool for a wedding. I’m interested in something based in excel. I tried the budgeter on the knot and was 100% happy with it. Thanks
dear hive, please help…
My bf and I are close to being engaged, and I am concerned about a number of issues. None related to our direct relationship- but to our families.
His parents are divorced, and both are re-married. It has been a number of years now, but they have not seen each other since the separation. They communicate only occasionally to discuss issues related to my bf and his brother- but that’s it. It’s “amicable” in that they have a shared interest in their children, but not necessarily each other. As we begin to discuss our future, both sides of his family have voiced concern about seeing the other again. Understood. I know my situation isn’t unique, but how have these issues been handled in the past? Can anyone share experiences?
A few things:
1. both of his parents are absolutely 100% lovely, normal people. They just weren’t good together.
2. the grandmother on the dad’s side is involved in this. Pinned as a major reason for the divorce, the mother refuses to see both the new wife, and the grandmother, together. To her, these are two women that have ruined her life.
3. both parties have agreed that they can put up with each other on the wedding day—but for such things as the engagement party, etc… the mother doesn’t want both the grandmother AND the new wife to be there. It’s either one or the other.
4. the father is stuck between respecting his ex-wife’s request and his own mother.
5. my bf is completely torn by this situation.
6. my parents want to know, and be reassured that their family is OK and not a tumultuous mess, so it would be “ideal” to have both his mother and father present, along with their respective partners, at an initial meeting.
What am I supposed to do?? I don’t want them to feel uncomfortable, I’d like it to be as natural as possible. Other than hosting 2 separate events, is there some way I can have a non-traditional engagement party of sorts? That way, everyone can be there and it isn’t necessarily around a table and awkward.
Any ideas? Suggestions? Please share… I’m really lost on this one…
I love weddingbee. But now that I’m married I would love to see a website like weddingbee that has many bloggers, but with a more general “girly” (makeup, clothes, gossip, home, ex.) theme. Any suggestions???
Mrs. Bee you should start one 
Farmgal- if you love the shoes, wear them! If you’re not so sure, maybe find a more neutral shoe with a hint of the blue you want, in aribbon or shoe clip? I wore pink rhinestone covered shoes, and my necklace had a pink stone in he center so it tied back well…
[...] Erika would like to know how to politely reject vendors, such as when one sends a proposal via email? [...]
@ Farmgal,
If you wanted to compromise on the blue shoes you could do a white shoe with a blue sole or heel. Some brands have a blue sole, and you could always paint the sole of any shoe blue with some acrylic paint. Or you could adhere blue swarovski crystals to the arch or heel of your shoe. One bride put her wedding monogram on the underside of the arch in blue crystals - looked great when she knelt at the alter!
Erika: Send an email back that says, “Thanks so much for your work on this quote! We’ve decided to go with another vendor, but I’ll keep your services in mind for future events.”
PC: Usually the father lifts the veil to kiss the bride before giving her away. Then it’s your choice. If you want to wear the veil down during your vows, he puts it back down. If not, keep it back.
rzblna: I focused my effort on up-and-coming photographers and was able to get a huge photography package for less than 2000 by someone whose work is incredible. I found my photographer on craigslist, and I find local knot boards are a good place to inquire about reasonably-priced vendors…
Fiance Knowles: I’m using dahlias–there are some really big, beautiful romantic-looking ones that aren’t so tight-looking. And my florist told me that “stock” is almost always available and is available in a bunch of colors.
Kellyd: I like the one on brides.com. Click on “Adjust Budget” for a great tool to see how it affects other areas to spend more on one area.
mrikagurl,
thanks for clarifying about the veil. I think I will ask my dad to lift it beforehand because I wanted to see my husband to be properly when we exchange our vows.
Dahlias are gorgeous! I remember seeing a bouquet with wine coloured dahlias mixed with dark color berries.
Fiance Knowles,
Another great bloom for fall are zinnias.
Farmgal~ If you would like to wear blue shoes, then do it! I wore blue shoes for my wedding- our colors were blue and purple and I thought they could also be for my something blue. I got a lot of weird looks when people asked about my shoes beforehand, etc, but they ended up looking great and a lot of people thought it was fun. Remember, it’s your wedding day and you should do whatever you would like and makes you feel comfortable. Have fun- it’s only one day, after all!! Good luck to you!
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Beehive
Feature Launched: Aug 31, 2006
About: A forum for readers to post questions and get feedback from the hive, aka the weddingbee community.
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