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In today’s hive:
To add your question to Beehive, please leave a comment below. Since many questions have already been answered previously (particularly regarding etiquette and gift ideas), please use the Google search box at the top of the page to see if you can’t find an answer there first. Also, you can check past Beehives here. Thanks!
farmgal, I think that is a cute idea! Depending on the style of your dress, most people probably won’t even see your shoes.
farmgal - it’s your wedding, you can do what you want! it’s not the shoes really show. maybe just wear them at the reception?
erika - tell them you went another direction, but you appreciate their time.
rzbina - everywhere is different. The prices in major cities are much more, so you would have to tell us where your wedding is for comparison purposes.
farmgal- i’ve seen pics of brides with colored shoes (green, pink, red, blue) and they all look fine to me. I just saw one today on http://www.trashthedress.com/ ..Just scroll down til the entry titled fairy tale productions. There is a pic of the bride wearing aqua blue shoes sitting on a tractor. I’m thinking about coral, gold or green shoes myself. As long as the style of the shoe matches the style of your gown, I think the color is a matter of preference.
the knot even mentions it as an idea for something blue.
http://www.theknot.com/ch_qaarticle.html?Object=A60516104130
also, you could get a pair of cheap and/or returnable shoes to take home and try on with your dress. Visuals are always helpful.
Farmgal - it certainly doesn’t make me recoil in disgust at the idea. It is unusual and people will be surprised, but it’s something you’ve always dreamed of so I say go for it. If people don’t like it then hey, they’ll know not to do that for THEIR wedding! If you tie it in with some other blue detail (flowers in your bouquet, or the bouquet wrap? Hair clips with blue jewels?) I think it could look really good.
Erika - I find something like this works well:
“Thank you so much for taking the time to put together this proposal for me. Unfortunately, we have decided to go with another vendor but we will keep your information on file in case we need it in the future.”
No need to explain why you didn’t choose them, they’re used to it. They won’t take it personally so don’t stress over it.
PC - I believe it’s traditional for the father to lift the veil.
rzbina - where are you located? You can usually find good photographers at a range of price points. A good tactic if you can’t find one at your budget is to ask for a quote from one you know you can’t afford, and then when they respond, write back telling them unfortunately while you love their work, they are out of your budget range and could they recommend someone in your price range? You sometimes get great suggestions that way, it’s how I found my photographer for $2900 in fact.
farmgirl - I’ve seen tons of brides do this, and it always look amazing! Just do it!
PC: I’ll be having the groom lift the veil at the end. I’ve seen it done both ways.
mochi -
your weddings sounds like it will be very similar to mine. i am also getting married in hawaii. my dad will be wearing a long sleeved linen shirt. i think that would work for you, too!
farmgirl - i’m actually going to do the same. i love shoes and i want an awesome pair for my wedding — but why get a pair i’ll only wear once. oh, and here’s a great pair i’m currently in love with:
http://www.zappos.com/n/p/dp/28405075/c/8517.html
so pretty!
farmgal, i was thinking of wearing blue shoes too. “something blue” right? but i’m thinking of a more metallic light blue tone… or even a light blue? i do like the bold colors you’ve chosen for your shoes. i think it’s great. tell people to shove off… not everything has to be white on a bride. 
I’m in LA! Does that mean I’m doomed to the $5,000+ range?
Farmgal–go for it with the shoes! I wanted navy satin shoes myself to wear with my ivory gown, but couldn’t find any I liked and I was frightened off by the tales of smeary dyed shoes. So I got gorgeous ivory sequined ones. But I think colored shoes with wedding dresses looks amazing, and that you should do what you want. And no matter what anyone tells you, unless you have a large ballgown skirt, people will see your shoes. So show off your blue shoes and be proud!
I am looking for lighting companies in the new york area. I love the look of color splashed on the walls of the reception hall but I dont have an unimaginable budget to spend on this. Any ideas ladies?
rzbina, i think it depends on the quality and experience of the photographer you are looking for. The lowest price I feel like I’ve seen for a photographer with pretty decent quality and a couple years of experience is ~$2900. People who have had more years will almost definitely be above that.
A lot of times, with the $5k photographers, you can negotiate a package, i.e. if you don’t want an album or don’t want prints or something, in order to get the price down. They can usually customize a package for you. You can also ask for referrals, or if they have associate photographers or photographers in training.
farmgal - You should do what you like! personally,though, I’m not a fan of shoes that don’t basically match your dress, so I’d suggest a white/ivory shoe with a blue accent. I wonder if satin shoes can be spot dyed? I have this vision of a shoe with kind of a “sash” across the toe area, maybe with a crystalled buckle, and just the sash dyed blue.
Erika - I’d say something like, (preceeded by thanks) “but we’ve already accepted another vendors offer.”
PC - whoever lifts the veil, it is lifted when you arrive in front of the officiant. Father lifting it has the most traditional connotations, groom, next. The bride can also lift it herself, and some people feel this gives it a modern symbolism of independance. it’s also quite common to just wear the veil behind you without ever having it cover your face.
No one but my best friend, Paul, has ever come into mind when thinking of the Maid of Honor. We’ve friends since the tender age of three and we’ve been inseparable since. The problem? Well, obviously, he’s more like a MAN of Honor, rather than a Maid. My parents have no issues with this because Paul’s like a son they never had. My In-Laws, however, seem to be very suspicious of us two despite how many times my hubby-to-be has assured them. They’ve even suggested that I take Paul out of the entire wedding party. I was extremely annoyed, but being Korean, I knew better than to retort back at elders. I don’t want to upset the In-Laws, but Paul is one of the most significant people in my life, someone who knows me just as well as family. What should I do?
rzblna
When I was planning for my wedding one year ago in LA, $2K+ can usually get you some decent photographers. I didn’t know prices jumped that much. You should definitely try to email photographers you’re interested in to see if they can customize a package to your budget.
farmgal - the photos from my wedding that make me laugh the longest are the ones of the MOG scowling in the direction of my shoes. Do what you want!
rzbina - I just got married in an equally overpriced area (Cape Cod…in June, no less), and got a photographer we loved for $1700 for nine hours, plus 200 prints and all the files. The secret is, she’s only been in business for about two years. I had actually called The Prestige Established Photographer in the area, and yeah, she’s $5000 for six hours, and never ever gives people the files (plus she was ridiculously condescending during our very brief phone conversation). I’ll never regret going with the newbie.
Farmgal-
My shoes are being dyed “frost blue” as I write! Go for it…I think it’s such a cute idea for your “something blue.”
Hi Emily,
This may just upset the in-laws further, but what about balancing a Man of Honor (!) with a female attendant standing on the groom’s side, and just calling everyone “attendants” and “honor attendants” instead of best man/maid of honor.
mochi -
I’m getting married on the big island, and I haven’t thought of telling my father what to wear, and he hasn’t asked. Well crap, there’s something else to think about. Maybe your dad can wear a solid color aloha shirt (think tommy bahama)and khaki’s? Maybe a similar color to what your mom is wearing?
My groom is wearing a white on white silk tommy bahama shirt and khaki color linen pants.
rzblna
- see if you can get the ‘digital negatives’ and have the right to print the photos yourself. This is saving me a bunch of money.
- Go to the art departments in the colleges. LA has so many. Put up some fliers and see who calls. Most students should have a portfolio. Have them do an engagement ‘tryout’ and see if you like their work.
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