Wedding Blog
I haven’t talked much about my dress, I’m guessing because I never was 100% sure I got the right one. It’s coming back to haunt me, 5 months later.Does anyone else feel like being pressured to find a dress months before your wedding date puts it on the urgent to-do list? I wish I had spent a whole lot more time prior to my engagement looking at gowns so I had more research under my belt… alas, I waited until months after my ring was on my finger to look at dresses.
Before I go on, I want to start by saying I do love it. I’m just not sure it’s 100% me, and I’m worried about how I’ll feel several hours into the reception.
This is it, the “drama in the back” Monique Lhuillier Scarlet.
It’s an all outdoor, lounging, games, activity wedding, which had not yet been planned out when I ordered my gown (again, why do we have to do that so early?) so it hadn’t been a huge concern of mine to find something really easy to move around in. Now I have this beautiful, elegant, but not exactly comfortable dress and I’m regretting it. Mr. GB is concerned that I’ll look uncomfortable, or will spend a great deal of time adjusting it to try and make myself feel more secure.
We had considered getting a different one and trying to sell my current gown to recoup the losses, or getting a second reception gown - but I feel mildly defeated. I’m not sure whether it’s worse for me to feel slightly uncomfortable at my wedding or just really really guilty if I do buy something else.
Today, he sat me down and told me to do what I wanted and we’d figure it out either way. That makes me feel more guilty. It’d been better had he said “no, stupid!”
So is it better to be guilty or to be uncomfortable? Has anyone else felt like they regretted their purchase and what did you do?
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I just bought my second dress 4 weeks before my wedding (the salon had it rushed) and I can’t express in words how relieved I feel. You’re putting too much into this day to have to look down during all of it and think “wow I hate my dress.” Go for the guilt. Go for it.
We switched from a summer wedding to a winter wedding and I’m always cold and wanted sleeves, so I bought another dress.
Now I have a 2-piece strapless lace-up corset Maggie Sottero (white, silver stitching) to sell. Anyone?
can you alter this dress to make it more comfortable? miss peppermint blogged about the same dress last week.
I love that dress, but you have to comfortable. Do think that a new dress will be “comfortable” — I thought these things are never comfortable!!
that dress is soooo gorgeous. it’s classy, simple, and sexy!
Sigh. I had to go out and buy a new dress. Well, “had to” may be a bit much, but honestly, that’s how I felt. I also felt stupid and guilty about buying another dress, but no matter how much I tried, I just couldn’t love the first one. Why did I buy it then, you ask?
I honestly don’t really know.
I would have to agree with Jen. I’m not sure how comfortable wedding dresses can be. I love the lines of your current gown and feel like it would be fine for an outdoor wedding. I guess the million dollar question is: what would you buy if you do get another one?
Miss GB,
Your dress is really lovely, elegant, sexy, and stylish. Most of the dresses designed by Monique are ver comfortable when it’s on. Maybe i’m biased because I’ve got one of her dresses. It’s worthwhile going back to try it on just to feel what’s it’s like on you.
But at the end of the day, you need to be comfortable in your dress. I’ve seen brides who are uncomfortable and it can ruin the look.
I think buying anything that doesn’t come in for months would cause anyone some second thoughts. Especially something as big as a dress! I think you should wait until it comes in and you start having it fitted so you can actually have a good idea of how it feels (you can sit and crouch and do jumping jacks in it then), and then if you feel uncomfortable, you could always buy something simple and white, but comfortable. There have been lots of options on here and other wedding blogs about affordable gown options, so you wouldn’t have to feel TOO guilty, right?
I forgot to say that I really really think that the gown is stunning. It’s so pretty from the front, and then when you walk by the guests and they see the back, their mouths will be agape!
god, i love that dress… i’m also mildly regretting my dress cuz i really never envisioned a big poufy one. ummm, if you’re gonna sell your dress, can you contact me? if it’s reasonable, it might be my 2nd dress.
but for you, i say be comfy, love your dress, cuz forever and ever, you’ll look back on pictures and you don’t want your first thoughts to be “i hated that dress” every time you see it. :\
1) We hear this ALL the time! You are not alone!
2) I have a second dress because I was sort of forced into my first…so I understand…but many brides say, after some time, they fall in love with their first dress again. Perhaps you will too?
Don’t forget about dress tapes and glues this may be just the problem solver to help you feel comfortable.
Your dress is gorgeous and I think it could certainly work for an outdoor wedding. I don’t think wedding dresses are every really physically comfortable, so the most important thing is that you need to be emotionally comfortable in it. To make you feel good in it, perhaps you could make your hair, shoes and other accesories more playful to match the mood of your wedding.
Beautiful dress! I’d love to take it off your hands if it was in my size!
I wonder if this might be an option for you. It sounds like you love the look of this dress but are unsure about your comfort level during the reception. Why don’t you have a second dress for the reception and just get one of those simple, inexpensive gowns from Target or J. Crew as your second gown for the reception? They sure won’t break the bank (I think the most expensive one is $160) and they are very pretty and bridal, just simple clean lines which is why you save money.
I just thought this might be a way for you to save yourself the discomfort AND the guilt. Let us know what you decide.
I should clarify I meant wear the Monique dress you posted here for the ceremony and change into a second dress for the reception.
I LOVE that dress, but it was so out of my price range. I never got to try it on either… *sigh* If you LOVE it then you should keep it and get a 2nd dress for the reception. You can get something fun for the reception, it doesn’t even have to be bridal maybe even something you can wear again…
I think some wedding gowns are comfortable, but this one has no structure and very little options for security to build in, so I feel a little uh… “free” It’s not uncomfortable in that restraining way, more that I feel like I’m not going to be strapped in and with all the running around, I envision my boob flying out.
If I start getting it altered, I’m worried I won’t be able to sell it because of my size. 
Time to hope that I win the lottery I don’t play so I will be guilt free about all random demands and changes! woohoo!
who cares about comfort when you’ve got that gorgeous ML gown and the body to pull it off?!
i wore ML as well and was a bit bummed when my MIL told me i had to change at least once. i ended up changing into a qi pao, then a hanbok, and then back into my ML dress for the father/daughter dance and the rest of the reception. there was no way i’d spend the reception in a $200 qi pao or a rented hanbok when i had this gorgeous wedding dress i’d only get to wear once in my life!
there will be so much going on the day of your wedidng that you won’t even notice the fit of the dress. i wore 4.25″ heels all day/night and didn’t even feel the pain till the party ended. =)
Miss Gummi Bear- We are dress twins!! I have the scarlet as well. Though, I decided on it because it WAS so comfortable. I liked that it wasn’t stiff like alot of the other dresses I tried on… and i am also having an outside wedding and wanted light airy frabic. I feel you on the boob thing… I decided to go with ones of those stick on bras to make me feel more comfortable. Funny that we had completely different takes on the same dress. 
this is one of the most beautiful, striking dresses i’ve ever seen!! maybe you could buy a cheap but fun dress for really cheap, so if you do get uncomfortable you can change later. i think that you’ll feel so elegant and happy on your wedding day that you won’t even feel uncomfortable?
If you’re worried about the girls, you could try a nubra - I’ve never worn them, but I have friends who swear by them and say that they do not come unstuck: http://www.nubra.com/ Also, the “matchsticks” on this site are supposed to be great for getting your clothes to stay where they’re supposed to: http://www.herlook.com/
If you are only worried about the girls flying free, why don’t you try some flash tape, which is essentially really strong double-sided tape that is safe on skin. My girls are rather large and I’m always in jeopardy of exposing myself. I’ve used this for years now and love it!! It keeps bra straps from peeking, necklines from plunging, etc…..
This is a gorgeous dress! I say wear it for at least the ceremony and cocktail hour, and have a second, more comfortable (& cheaper) dress on standby. If after cocktail hour you’re really feeling uncomfortable, go change. Just my 2 cents, but it is also so important to feel both comfortable and beautiful!
have you thought about wearing around your house to see how it feels? you could practice lounging and whatever else you plan on doing that day to see if it works with the dress or not.
I agree with getting a cheaper dress for the reception. White House Black Market and Anthropologie are also good options for something a bit more funky.
It’s an amazing dress. Off topic, doesn’t the model look scary from the back? It’s like her shoulder blades are going to break through her skin and poke us, and her spine isn’t far behind! 
i would SOOOOO buy that dress from you! (even after the wedding!)
Maybe I’m totally impractical, but that is a dream dress and I would totally just wear it for the entire time, no matter what. Talk to a seamstress about what you can do to make it more secure– double sided tape can work wonders. I think it would be a shame to buy a second dress when that dress is so magnificent. Just wear it— you can be comfortable the day after the wedding
i was rushed to get my dress too also because i refused to look at dresses before the ring was on my finger. so i didnt start looking until we were “formerly engaged” even tho we had set the date and everything 2 months prior. so once we were engaged it left me 6 months to find a dress. i didnt realize some dresses would take 6-8 months! i ended up having to rush my dress. i also tried the scarlett and loved it i think the lace on that dress is so soft and the dress overall is very flexible, to me i think that dress matches your outdoor wedding style very well. on the other hand it definitly shows when someone is uncomfortable in their outfit. the dress is so beautiful and im sure amazing on you just go with it and try not to think about it being uncomfortable the day of!
nubra is awesome!
I second guess my dress EVERYDAY. I’ve really wanted a ML, but I just couldn’t justify spending that much on a dress I will only wear once.
NUBRA!!!
This dress is so beautiful! If you’re worried about coming out - have some cups sewn in, and use some fashion tape which I hear works well, to make sure the dress stays in place in the front.
I’d think this would be a comfortable dress because it’s more sheer - and not bulky.
I didn’t see if you answered the question someone else asked: What would you want to wear if you didn’t wear this dress?
Miss GB,
Your dress is beautiful! Absolutely stunning. If you don’t feel comfortable or are having second thoughts the best option may be to find a reception dress.
You seem really fun and funky, why not look for vintage dresses on ebay, thefrock.com, vintageous.com, poshgirlvintage.com or in local vintage shops.
Several of these have both wedding dresses and cocktail dresses that would work as a wedding dress. they have some fantastic cocktail dresses in white, off white or fun light colors on these sites and they will all be one of a kind. you just need to know your measurements when looking (alterations are much cheaper on these dresses than wedding dresses!)
I had a problem with my original dress, bought over a year in advance, due to its construction. (It was a diaphanous, flowing Romona Keveza purchased at a trunk show). But I was lucky enough to realize this before the manufacturer began making it and got a full refund. I was on a trip to South Florida and was able to pop into C. Madeline’s in Miami where I found 2 amazing dresses: a stunningly simple 50’s wedding sheath for the ceremony and a “vintage” escada sheath for the reception. Both dresses combined cost about 1/4 the price of my original gown.
Good luck, it sucks when the thing that is supposed to be the most fun part turns into such a stress.
I’ve done a lot in terms of trying to find a second dress, but nothing I found excited me (except one, but I’ll talk about that later…).
I’m not necessarily afraid they’re really going to pop out, more that just uncomfortable loose, cold feeling - maybe the piercings make me more sensitive, but it makes me nervous and uncomfortable.
the dress I wanted otherwise? this:
http://www.brides.com/images/vendor/dressgallery/bridal/clairepettibone/00_main/laurel_primary.jpg
i’d recommend waiting. like the previous posters, 2nd guessing your dress is not uncommon. i’m a 2-dress bride myself, buying a cheap, used dress online because i couldn’t bring myself to buy my dream dress which i ended up buying anyway. it doesn’t sound like you dislike the dress - your concerns would be the same for any dress really. sounds more like undergarments are key for your comfort. the day goes by so quickly - you’ll never have time to even go to the bathroom! talk about discomfort!
I love this dress! It’s really common for brides to have second thoughts and concerns about her dress.
Got my ML dress from a sample sale last year. I liked it at time. Now I can’t stop thinking about this dress. It’s such a coincidence that both you and Miss Peppermint posted about it. If you are thinking of selling it, I’m sure it won’t be difficult.
I had major second thoughts about mine that lasted a while, in fact. But I think that was just because I couldn’t really envision the wedding yet. Now that everything’s solidifying, I’m in love with all over again and have ants in my pants for it to arrive.
You’ve picked out such a beautiful and unique dress. I’d say try it with the above recommendations, sit back for a day or two, and think about it. Plus, compare it to the sort of dress you see everywhere, and maybe you’ll get excited about how different it is, and be into it again?
[...] so much for the support about my current dress, it has been causing more ridiculous amount of stress since I tried it on [...]
http://www.yelp.com/biz/LZpGcNBdZ-aEX1_MNSMUMA
great wedding seamstress in oakland, used to work at margene’s bridal
don’t have personal experience with her since i get my dress alterations done in LA, but she comes really highly recommended by a friend. she did my friend’s bridesmaid dress…it was really complicated too cuz it had boning, lace, and was really fitted
if, for some reason, you’re in LA, i can recommend a really wonderful seamstress down here who’s done two gowns for me (but she specializes in wedding dresses)…VERY reasonable rates too–and quick turnaround.
I love this dress….it’s my dream dress. So, if any of the brides here that have the scarlet & want to sell before or after your wedding, please let me know. My wedding is not until next year June 2008.
email me: mscherieamour@yahoo.com
But I have tried it on and I fell in love with it!
I would wear it to the ceremony and reception.
This dress will hopefully be my future wedding dress, too. I love it so much. So, if anyone has it in a small-ish size and is looking to sell a used version, e-mail me at rsilver@uchicago.edu and sell me your dress, please! My wedding is May, 2008.
[...] swear I won’t have another one of these. I had my side by side comparison of the two gowns I’ve been going back and forth [...]
I love this dress. I am still trying to figure out which one you ended up wearing???
If you are interested in selling it, let me know. Email me at kaiipo@hotmail.com My wedding is in July of 2008.
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Mrs. Gummi Bear, San Francisco
Age and Occupation: 25, Japanese Importer/Illustrator
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 24, Game Developer/Programmer
Engagement Date: April 15, 2006
Wedding Date: October 13, 2007
Blogging Since: June 19, 2007
Venue: Organic farm an hour from San Francisco
About Me: I live for anthropologie, design blogs, sweets, japanese zakka, and vintage goods. We just bought our first home together and live with our two puppies and cat - it's a strange mixture of vintage, high-tech (we have 7 computers and 21 video game systems in all), and a whole lot of fur. Our wedding tries to embody the Japanese idea of "slow life", which is truly taking the time to enjoy food, company, and your environment!
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