It has been a ridiculously great year for Mr. Corn and I; everything from his promotion, to my job change, to his brother getting married, our buying our first house, getting engaged, etc. Yet we remain aware that these things come in waves. We certainly aren’t trying to be pessimistic about how great everything has been, but we are trying to keep our feet grounded in the reality that there are many more great times as well as hard times ahead.
This has only been magnified by recent events in my family. What has been going on is cruel and excruciatingly personal and will directly affect many of the people who will attend our wedding. But you have to go on. The world isn’t going to iron itself out into perfection because of our wedding day. We just have to celebrate it as the joyful occasion it is and try and keep our focus on that.
Below is the reading that Mr. Corn and I have selected to be read at the ceremony. It is different from anything I have ever heard at a wedding before; I think because it not only explores the concept that marriage is so much more than the one time joy of a wedding, but because it expresses a truth of what can be expected, rather than the naïve hope of what can never truly be attained.
EXCERPT FROM “THE GIFT FROM THE SEA”~ By Anne Morrow Lindbergh ~
When you love someone, you do not love them all the time, in exactly the same way, from moment to moment. It is an impossibility. It is even a lie to pretend to. And yet this is exactly what most of us demand. We have so little faith in the ebb and flow of life, of love, of relationships. We leap at the flow of the tide and resist in terror its ebb. We are afraid it will never return. We insist on permanency, on duration, on continuity; when the only continuity possible, in life as in love, is in growth, in fluidity - in freedom, in the sense that the dancers are free, barely touching as they pass, but partners in the same pattern.
The only real security is not in owning or possessing, not in demanding or expecting, not in hoping, even. Security in a relationship lies neither in looking back to what was in nostalgia, nor forward to what it might be in dread or anticipation, but living in the present relationship and accepting it as it is now. Relationships must be like islands, one must accept them for what they are here and now, within their limits - islands, surrounded and interrupted by the sea, and continually visited and abandoned by the tides.
I love that reading! We almost used it in our wedding. Instead, we chose “Love is a friendship that has caught fire”, which has a similar message.
My cousin read that at my wedding and then gave me the book as a gift. SUCH A GREAT READING!!!
What a lovely and meaningful passage! I particularly like that it ties in with your seaside/clambake theme — I think it will definitely resonate with people.
we are using that reading too!
I really like this passage. I’ve been thinking about this a lot and I think I finally found the perfect reading. Thanks Miss Corn.
We are using that too! Great choice.
That was one we considered, too. I think it’s beautiful - romantic in a way grounded in reality. Great choice, very appropriate.
Anne Morrow Lindbergh, yes? She has a lot of very logical passages for weddings. I’m thinking of using one myself to capture the full importance of not just the wedding…but of the seriousness of marriage.
That is a wonderful reading.
My aunt had that same reading at her waterfront ceremony last summer. So beautiful.
the metaphor is so true
omg! i love this passage! and i love anne lindbergh. she is such a great writer! my FI gave me a copy of this same quote, not long after we started dating way back in the day.
great choice!
Mrs. Corn, Newport, RI
Age and Occupation in '07: 31, HR for public accounting firm
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 33, Consultant for public accounting firm
Engagement Date: October 7, 2006
Wedding Date: September, 2007
Blogging Since: June 1, 2007
Venue: North Lawn of Fort Adams State Park
About Me: I am a lazy scrapbooker who loves the instant gratification of making cards and I am very easily distracted by all things shiny. In honor of my childhood nights spent hibachi BBQing on the beach with my family, we are hosting a traditional New England Clambake for our reception.
That is such a moving passage– it really speaks to what marriage, and life, is all about. I think you made a lovely choice. Now I’m thinking of using it in some way for my own wedding next yr!