Thanks so much for the support about my current dress, it has been causing more ridiculous amount of stress since I tried it on last week. I was in tears this morning thinking about all the things I would have to alter in order to even slightly ease the stress about it. Unfortunately, the bridal salon REFUSED to book me an appointment before August when I requested in June, and even gave me a hard time about letting me have one in beginning of August. So when I tried it on last week, they refused to pin me so I’d know how I’d look.
The dress is 2-3 inches too large on me in all measurements and I’m only 5’4″ and wearing flats because Mr. GB is barely taller, so it’s ridiculously long. The waist is several inches lower than my real waist, so I looked like I had midget legs. Of course some of this can be helped, but because of the structure of the gown, I’m not sure how much they can do. The straps are very wide on someone of my size, so they’d have to be thinned out, and once my friends managed to pull to sit on my shoulders properly, there was about 4 inches of overlap on the back, making it look… very awkward.
In all, it’s wholly unflattering on me the way I saw it last week. Thanks to the bridal salon for being entirely unhelpful, I have no idea how it will look if I alter it… that also being a concern. I doubt there are many brides who would buy this dress after it’s been shortened and altered to fit me. 
I did spend a lot of time looking for a second dress last month, though. From vintage shops online, to ebay, to any webstore and all bridesmaid gowns I could find, nothing really called to me. I did find THIS.
images from odastyle
Odastyle is a small fashion design group run by three local girls. I had the pleasure of meeting with them and discussing a possibility in ordering a reception gown custom made through them. Seeing the above gown and possibly having it made shorter and other changes made, is a serious consideration of mine. They use natural, organic, and found materials, vintage lace and the gowns are just amazingly detailed. Everything is handmade, so the possibilities in customization are endless. It doesn’t hurt that they are the cute, sweet, and have the best dogs!
If you’re considering a custom gown in San Francisco, they are worth meeting. Check out their collection, even if you just want an amazing gown or skirt for wear!
Sadly, I’m still going crazy, and this is the dress I was considering otherwise.
Mr. GB says watching me mope around the house in tears after coming home from the dress trial, I should feel beautiful - and I can’t feel that way in this dress. The bridal salon refuses to speak to me about my alterations until August, and was incredibly rude on the phone when I expressed I just wanted to TALK to someone about the changes I’d like done. They flat out told me I wasn’t important to them because of my wedding date and that they will not talk to me at all about what they can and cannot do until August. No one will even look at it or pin it for me… the woman cut me off when I was asking her questions, to just keep repeating she can’t talk to me.
Does anyone know any really amazing alteration places in San Francisco/Berkeley? My stress level shot up after talking to this “head seamstress” about how she cannot be bothered to talk to me and I can’t imagine wanting to give her my money after the way she treated me on the phone.
Oh darlin’, I’m so sorry that those stupid bridal salon people were mean to you. Seriously I don’t know how some of those people can work in the industry and be so nasty to brides when they see firsthand the kind of stress that comes from planning a wedding.
Anyway, as a fan of your entries and having seen all the cool and funky plans you already have for your wedding, I think you would totally rock an Odastyle dress, but at the end of the day, it’s all about how you feel so I think whatever you wear, if you’re happy, that will make the dress that much more beautiful.
Anyway, good luck with the rest of your planning and don’t let those nasty people get you down! 
Your bridal salon needs to be kicked in the face. Seriously. You are paying them the money, and in return they are supposed to provide service. They refused to pin the dress on you? That’s unacceptable!
I would do what you have to do to make sure you get the dress you want, and don’t have to deal with the bridal salon anymore. If you can’t return the dress, sell it (ebay, indiebride, preownedweddingdresses, craigslist, etc.). Then find better people do deal with and get the dress you want. If you current dress needs a ton of work to “even slightly ease the stress about it”, you need a different dress.
Good luck!
I think you’re fiance is on to something and I would agree: “Mr. GB says watching me mope around the house in tears after coming home from the dress trial, that I should feel beautiful - and if I can’t feel that way in this dress” then you should find something or some way for you to INDEED feel beautiful.
It’s your wedding and you deserve to feel like that, and more!
I hope whatever decision you make will make you the happiest happiest bride!
wow..why are the measurements so off from what you are? It sounds 2-3 sizes too big for you!
I want to strangle that woman for treating a bride that way! What a nasty old twit. I definately would not give her any money. I loooove all the other dresses you’re considering, especially the last one. I’m so sorry this happened to you.
Si Arima gets a lot of love for alterations work ..as does Kristen Tucker. I’ve not used either but I see their names tossed around a lot. As another San Francisco resident, I was super excited about your link to Oda– hadn’t run across any of their stuff yet but it looks fantastic! I already have all my wedding dress & related attire in the making but maybe I’ll need an excuse to get a dress for some other reason…
And they wonder why people want to buy online? To avoid assy bridal shops like these?
I went to Lucy’s Alterations in San Bruno. I think she did a good job with my dress. I had the hem shortened, my a line slimmed down, had her made a bow with my sashes, added in cups, and the dress let out half an inch and the top part of my dress sewn down so it wouldn’t keep flipping up. they need to see the dress and what needs to be done before she can give you a price. and she will be honest with you about the alterations.
i can’t believe that the salon was so rude to you, talk to the manager, owner or head of the company and complain about it.
maybe you should just take the dress and sell it. then get another dress that you love.
Holy s&#^! That bridal shop needs to be slapped in the proverbial face! It does sound like they did the ole “order the dress a few sizes too big trick” in order to ensure costly alterations.
Can you just take possession of the dress and cut your losses? Sell the dress as-is and go with one from the organic shop - the first one is really different.
I would want to get as far away from those nasty bridal shop ppl as possible. They are spreading bad karma everywhere!
hm: I’m short and small, so their smallest size is still too big. Oddly, my other friends are even smaller, so I don’t know what they’re going to do when they order a gown…
Amnesia: they are definitely worth talking to if you want a custom dress, they are made to your measurements, so you don’t have to worry about the fit! If I get a second reception gown, I’ll order it from them - and they make accessories!!
Thanks for all the alteration numbers, I might need to start calling around!
I am using Julie Ireland, who I came across on Yelp. My last fitting is tomorrow, so I can’t say for sure how everything will turn out, but so far she’s helped me from feeling a little bit hesitant about my under $300 Jessia McClintock dress to feeling like the most beautiful bride in the most amazingly perfect wedding dress. Her prices seem incredible reasonable. She is charging me less than $200 to take the dress in at the front seams and the back and to sew in staps that will attach to my bra and to tailor the petticoat I bought so it won’t be so poufy on top. She works out of her home and she makes me feel confident that it will all turn out great. She is also making me a sash out of chocolate double-faced satin ribbon from Britex. Good luck!
awww… that is so rude!
a number of my friends have used kirsten tucker and raved about her. she’s located in san mateo and is a costume designer, so i’m sure she can make whatever alterations you need. i will be going to her for my alterations when my dress comes in.
good luck!
There is no reason why your dress should be that much bigger than you are. The dress maker wasted all that material that will have to be cut off. Instead of minor alterations your will have to have major surgery on your dress to make it fit.
I’d go in with all your paper work and your ducks in line. Ask to speak with your sales person and the owner. Explain your story and your displeasure with their lack of service.
If you really feel that you aren’t getting anywhere. Call your local TV/Newspaper Consumer Trouble Shooter. The thought of bad press might make them wake up and listen.
The Odastyle dresses are gorgeous. Go with your heart on the dress you want. And stick to our guns as to what is right.
Why was the dress so big on you? Was the correct size ordered?
Regardless, I’d take your dress to an outside seamstress (check your local knot boards!) and try it on for her and have a good talk about what you would want to have done. See if it’s doable at least.
Then you can decide whether to keep or sell your dress. But honestly, those seamstresses can do WONDERS on a dress. I think your biggest concern is that the bridal shop won’t LISTEN to any of your concerns regarding alterations. You don’t want them done now.. .you just want to be assured that it can be done and it will look beautiful on you.
Please do NOT use the boutique for your alterations! And write them a fitting review on Yelp, The Knot, and other wedding boards!
How on earth did you originally choose your dress if it didn’t fit you?
I love that last dress! Can you return the original one? Sometimes, on the receipt, it will say that you can pay a penalty and return the dress.
Have you thought about selling the original Monique Lhullier dress to a consignment shop? Or even placing an ad on Craigslist or somewhere just to see if there would maybe be any takers? Your local Knot board? I am SURE some lucky girl out there would love to have it! Then you can be completely happy and comfortable in that ADORABLE Odastyle dress.
Hi Miss Gummi Bear,
Is there ANYWAY you can cancel on the dress? That is ridiculous. I was under the impression that when you purchased such a nice gown (Monique L!?) that they actually custom make it for you? Or at least your size? (Sorry, haven’t gone dress shopping). I remember when shopping for my cousin’s dress, they charged a lot for alterations. Maybe you could forgo the alterations and save that loss and sell your dress somewhere online. Maybe a Wedding Bee reader will purchase it from you! Good luck. Btw, I’m from SF. What bridal shop is this?! I will be sure to never shop there!
Sell it as is and go with an Odastyle dress! They are hott! Good luck though, seriously. You deserve to be a queen on your big day.
Miss GB,
I am a SF bride too and just starting my search. Please let us know the name of the salon so we can avoid it like the plague!
Not sure if he does wedding dress alterations, but you could try Al’s Attire in North Beach.
Otherwise, I am certain you could resell that dress if you change your mind about making it work.
I love the first and second picture you posted from Odastyle - especially the 2nd one - it feels very you even though I don’t know you!
I also wonder why is your original dress so huge… When I shopped for mine, they had various sizes, and they knew what size I should be once they got my measurements. I had alterations done on my dress too (the dress was too long, and I am flat-chested), but not drastic ones like what you mentioned-
Good luck on finding a normal bridal seamstress!
I am an SF bride and I used Gloria’s Cleaners on Ocean and 19th Avenue. Yes, I know gasp! It’s a dry cleaners but she did great work on my dress (she had to hand bead everything back onto my bodice after taking everything in. She also hemmed my dress and made a stronger bustle. She doesn’t give up until she gets everything right. I found her through another friend who used her for her wedding dress. Good luck!!!
love that last dress! i also loved your first choice of the monique lhullier dress but i can see what you mean if they aren’t willing to help you regarding the alterations to quell your fears. that bridal shop sounds awful though.
i think you should get the gown that you feel beautiful in. if you feel this badly about the dress, you’ll always have doubts in your mind. i say take the dress unaltered (bc the salon doesn’t deserve your money on the alteration) and sell it on craigslist… then buy one that you’ll love like the ones above. good luck!
I’m sorry you’ve had such a bad experience with the bridal salon. I ran into a few of these — even found my dress at one — but went to a salon that I felt more comfortable taking my business to.
If you’ve already paid for the dress, take it and run. If you don’t like the dress or feel like it’s right for you, see if you can see it on craigslist or ebay or even take a listing in the local paper(s).
If you haven’t paid for the dress, refuse to buy it. It sounds like they didn’t do a custom order, so the fact that they’d need to resell it shouldn’t be an issue.
By all means, be sure to post about your experience with all the wedding boards. You probably aren’t the first with this experience.
Good luck!
whoops, i’d commented on the wrong post.
here are some suggestions:
http://www.yelp.com/biz/LZpGcNBdZ-aEX1_MNSMUMA
great wedding seamstress in oakland, used to work at margene’s bridal
don’t have personal experience with her since i get my dress alterations done in LA, but she comes really highly recommended by a friend. she did my friend’s bridesmaid dress…it was really complicated too cuz it had boning, lace, and was really fitted
and if, for some reason, you’re in LA, i can recommend a FABULOUS seamstress down here who has altered a few complicated gowns for me (she specializes in wedding dresses though)…VERY reasonable rates too–and incredibly quick turnaround.
Previous poster- who is the LA rec? I need someone please…
Miss Gummi Bear, the Odastyle dresses are absolutely BEAUTIFUL. It would probably be best to get a dress custom-made so you don’t have to worry about similar experiences in the future. Plus, it will be more you than any other dress!
Either way, I hope you end up with a dress that you are completely happy with.
ladybride, post your email and ill send you details
Someone asked why the dress is 2-3 sizes too big — well, my opinion is, disreputable shops do that on purpose so you have to pay an exorbitant amount for alterations.
Is there any way you can get the dress altered somewhere else? I wouldn’t want to give them another nickel, and you know they’ll charge outrageous rates for alterations.
My God. That type of treatment is inexcusable. The bride should be made to feel like a princess. When I tried on a slew of dresses at my bridal salon, they pinned ALL of them so I could get a better idea of how they looked. If they had refused when I asked to pin the first dress, I would have left. They also suggested I have my first fitting in August (the dress came in in June) but let ME decide when it would be.
Gummi Bear, do what you need to do to feel beautiful on your day. And please, please tell me you’re reporting that salon to the Better Business Bureau. I’m so sorry this is so stressful. It should be so much fun!
Miss GB! - don’t get too stressed! (although it’s understandable) The lady at the bridal salon is insane! - i really can’t believe she keeps treating you that way! forget her and the bridal salon. I say you take your beautiful gown and get it altered somewhere else. My gown doesn’t fit me at all yet either, so i totally hear ya’- not too sure if my dress is THE dress..But I do think that I will fall in love again once it fits me properly. I really really do mean it when I say the dress you have is a knockout! I know you’re look super fab in it! Please hold off on the second gown until you’ve found another seamstress and have her clip & pin the dress to see what it would look on you w/ a better fit..and if you still don’t like it, then go and shop for another dress. (just my humble opinion, hehe)
i LOVE love love dress #2. if not for the ceremony, then definitely for a cocktail dress.
wow! i love that second dressss! think it would be soooo cute on you and seems to match your fun personality!!! itd def be something you can run around easier in and play in! =) get it get it!
I am confused, when i got my ML dress, I tried on the sample and then they measured me literally everywhere for my dress that was then custom made (that is why they are so expensive). That was in January I am going in next week for my fitting. Did you buy a sample? When you first purchased it did they not take your measurements? What a nightmare.
Honey, if you want to sell it, let me know! I”ll be happy to talk with you about it.
kajutka@gmail.com
I understand you completely! I too am fairly little and my dress was too big and too long even when I ordered the smallest size. I was really discouraged when I first picked it up but luckily the alterations made all the difference in the world. I remember why I choose the dress in the first place. Of course, I do agree that it’ll make it a lot harder to sell afterwards…
If you do choose to keep your original dress, its not hopeless!
oh, sorry to hear about all the drama you have to deal w/ over your wedding dress. *hugs* hope things will work out for you. i love the vintage dresses you shown. they’re very you, and definitely goes well w/ the garden theme at an organic farm wedding. good luck. mr. gb is right, your wedding dress should bring you excitment, and happy grins, not frustration, and frowns. hang in there.
Yale: can I have that contact info too? Mine is octavian08 at yahoo. Thanks!
that shop sounds horrible!
my vote is to get your money back and get one of those dresses you just posted. omg they’re soooooooooo beautiful and sooooooooo unique! i love them and want all of them myself! i wish i lived over there. le sigh…
Try Wee Scotty in Pacific Heights. The woman who does alterations is fantastic. I had suits made after a trip to Thailand. When I returned they didn’t fit right, she took them apart and redid them and now they fit great! Her specialty is actually wedding dresses and although she’s fantastic she’s very expensive.
Mrs. Gummi Bear, San Francisco
Age and Occupation: 25, Japanese Importer/Illustrator
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 24, Game Developer/Programmer
Engagement Date: April 15, 2006
Wedding Date: October 13, 2007
Blogging Since: June 19, 2007
Venue: Organic farm an hour from San Francisco
About Me: I live for anthropologie, design blogs, sweets, japanese zakka, and vintage goods. We just bought our first home together and live with our two puppies and cat - it's a strange mixture of vintage, high-tech (we have 7 computers and 21 video game systems in all), and a whole lot of fur. Our wedding tries to embody the Japanese idea of "slow life", which is truly taking the time to enjoy food, company, and your environment!
oh my goodness, i can’t believe the nerve of these bridal shops! how they can have the nerve to be more diva than any of their customer brides is beyond me!
i hope you find a good seamstress in your area, miss gb! but i love those dresses you just posted. and they seem more “you” also.