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Do you see something wrong with this picture??
(taken from theknot.com - Jessica & Jason in Thomasville, GA)
One of the early decisions Mr. Peppermint and I made was regarding the wedding party. In the flurry of excitement after getting engaged, we jumped to share it with those closest to us. Many of the books (that I later read) suggested you wait to ask your attendants–perhaps we should have, but we just couldn’t wait!
After making a rough list of who we wanted to include, we decided that we’d each have six. This was about six months ago. Unfortunately, just this month, I’ve lost a bridesmaid. Don’t worry–there wasn’t any drama! Instead, she had to step back for medical reasons and I supported her decision. I didn’t want to make a big deal about it–and it really isn’t, or so I thought.
First I spoke with Mr. Peppermint about it. After a few good-natured jokes about having him drop a groomsman (”Look, I consider you one of my closest friends, and that’s why I know you’ll understand…”), we quickly agreed that this wouldn’t be much of an issue. We’ll have five bridesmaids, six groomsmen, a flowergirl and two ring bearers. Simple, right??
Well, a number of people I’ve mentioned this to have seemed a bit surprised.
“You mean it won’t be symmetrical?!”
“Well, who are you getting to replace her?!?”
I didn’t think this was a ‘thing,’ but a lot of other people seem to! And it’s not that there aren’t people who I had thought of asking in the first place. People who I’d love to share this with. However, since I asked everyone so long ago, whoever I asked would know they were a ‘replacement’.
Is it weird to have an asymmetrical wedding party? As a guest, would you even notice?? Or worse–gasp–Will I look unpopular??? Am I crazy or is it everyone else???? Okay, maybe you shouldn’t answer that last question…
If the difference is just one bridesmaid, nobody is going to care. Yes, they’ll notice (because we’re attuned to symmetry) but it isn’t going to be a big deal in any way.
my FI wants 4 groomsmen and I only want 2 bridesmaids. I have no problem with not being symmetrical, but he wants me to add 2 more girls for things to be even. It’s about having your closest friends up there.
We had 4 bridesmaids, 1 junior bridesmaid (who also carried the rings in), and a flowergirl. There were only three groomsmen, and we thought it looked fine. No one said anything, and we didn’t pose for many pictures like the one you pictured, instead, for the formals, our photographer just arranged everyone randomly and the result were great, fun photos.
I really think it’s not a big deal… if you’re fine with it, and so is your FI– stick to your guns 
No it’s everyone else! I would never notice. It’s definitely not a big deal.
I’ve had a few friends how have tried to make it even on both sides and they end up with people that are difficult or who aren’t super close to just because they had to stretch the number.
I was in a sorority, so therefore I could have 20 bridesmaids. Although I’m going with 6. FI is only having two. He is only close to two guys and there is no reason to try and stretch it.
I think 5 and 6 is fine! Just have two bridesmaids walk down on the arm of one guy! Seen it so many times! No worries!
Mr. Lemon wanted it to be even… but he had a GM back out due to money issues (couldn’t afford to fly out). So… we had 5 BM’s and 4 GM. I don’t think anyone noticed.
It isn’t a big deal at all. And even if it were, it would still be warped. The wedding party should be chosen on the basis of close ties, not photo opportunities!
Your wedding party will be lovely, and nobody will care if it is a little uneven.
Not weird at all! I have 6 bridesmaids, and FI has 7 groomsmen- he wanted me to “add 1″ and I refused to, because that person would have known that they were not in the initial asking (because FI added his 7th about a week after we asked the bridal party).
PS, I just attended a wedding with 10 bridesmaids and 3 groomsmen- talk about asymmetrical!
No - it’s everyone else! We’re having the same thing happen. We each had three, but our best man had his tour in Iraq extended and will not make it back in time for our wedding. We’re not replacing him so it will be 3 and 2. I think it’s silly to add someone just to make it symmetrical.
Ours is not symmetrical and I am completely fine with it!
i actually have equal numbers, but due to how people are processing in, they’re not going to look even. it’s okay, i’m just having one girl walk in with 2 guys. she’ll be the pimpette of the group. hehe!
We’re having three BMs and two GMs. I think people worried about symmetry are also the one’s that would balk at anything else I’m doing that isn’t completely traditional. Wait until they hear what I’m walking down the aisle to!!!
I say, have as many or as few (or as lobsided) in your BP as you want - it’s YOUR day!
with that many, i don’t think anyone will really notice.
unlike me, who might wind up with two bridesmaids and only one best man. and a jr bridesmaid. argh.
Makes no difference. We had my 2 women and 5 men, plus a flowergirl. So what? It’s not the prom. Include those you love and will always hold near and dear. Also remember they are in your priceless wedding memories & photos FOREVER, so be picky.
Processional: All men waited at the altar, ladies walked in solo one at a time. (The custom at this church.)
Recessional: Each lady was escorted by a man on each side, with the best man escorting the flowergirl (uncle/niece relationship — priceless!!!). But it can be done many ways. An easy trick to “even up” for the recessional is to mix and match, even mix in the wedding party’s children/spouses or other honored guests.
if people are stewing about the lack of symmetry at your wedding then they are missing the whole point. Seriously. I have 4 bridesmaids and three groomsmen. The last lucky groomsman gets two girls on his arm when it comes time to exit the ceremony! And I agree. It is definitely about who is close to you….you have enough aesthetics working the wedding to worry about attendant symmetry.
We originally had 4 girls and 4 guys, but several months into our engagement I added another girl (we’ve been engaged for over two years). So it was lopsided, but we figured one groomsman could just escort two bridesmaids…no biggie.
In the end, though, we’ve pulled in a 5th groomsman…I great guy who I thought should have been in it since day one - since we’re all sort of one big gang.
We are having 7 groomsmen and 4 bridesmaids
Who cares what everyone else wants, having a lopsided bridal party isn’t going to spoil the celebration.
Do what you want, not what other people tell you is right. I’m having my best girl friend and my brother on my side, and FI is having his brother on his side. Not only uneven, but not even the “right” genders on each side! We’re delighted with the arrangement, and that’s all that matters. Don’t worry about it!
I literally stared at that photo for a minute trying to see what was wrong, had to read all of what you wrote, and then realized it was the asymmetry you were speaking of. So no, there is nothing wrong with having uneven sides!
Originally, we were going to have six attendants each too. However, one of my bridesmaids discovered that she is expecting and is due two weeks before the wedding.
I decided not to “replace” her with someone else. Our wedding party will just be uneven, and it does not bother me.
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Miss Peppermint, LA/Palm Springs Age and Occupation: 23, Actress Fiance's Age and Occupation: 24, Web Producer Engagement Date: October 21, 2006 Wedding Date: December 2007 Blogging Since: July 2, 2007 Venue: historic estate overlooking the heart of Palm Springs About Me: I am a Southern California native who enjoys cooking, writing, travel and all things in the arts. Mr. Peppermint and I met in college and he proposed on our four year anniversary in one of our most special places, Joshua Tree National Park. We're having a destination wedding in Palms Springs that will incorporate tradition as well as reflect our personalities!
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