Beehive
Feature Launched: Aug 31, 2006
About: A forum for readers to post questions and get feedback from the hive, aka the weddingbee community.
In today’s hive:
- aoedorothee would like to know: for those who have purchased haute bride jewelry, where did you purchase from, and what was the price range?
- Stephanielee’s reception site charges a surcharge to serve cake, so she’s thinking about asking someone to do it; is there an etiquette issue regarding who it would be appropriate to ask?
- Michelle isn’t sure which of her guests should get OOT bags: her guests from out of state only? Or also those who are driving an hour to stay overnight?
- AmandaB would like to treat her BMs to lunch after their mani/pedi’s (which they’ll pay for themselves). Any advice on how to word the invitations?
- Has anyone heard of brides leasing jewelry from jewelry stores for the wedding day? Stephanie J is considering it, but she’d like to know more about the process and what to expect to pay.
- Miss Bluebear is looking for nice places in Long Island, other than Westbury Gardens, to take engagement pictures in the fall.
- ilovehamm has two nephews (age 7 & 9) as jr. groomsmen, not ring bearers, but they don’t have any particular task assigned to them. She was thinking about having them escort their sisters (the flower girls) but is reconsidering. Any suggestions for roles they might play?
- christina is having a Catholic Mass ceremony. Is it a must to put the readings/flow of the Mass into the program? Or can she just list attendants/credits?
To add your question to Beehive, please leave a comment below. Since many questions have already been answered previously (particularly regarding etiquette and gift ideas), please use the Google search box at the top of the page to see if you can’t find an answer there first. Also, you can check past Beehives here. Thanks!
25 Responses to “Beehive”
Stephanie J — Depends if you are going for Harry Winston or something more mainstream. If you are buying all your wedding jewelry @ one store (engagement ring, wedding bands, maybe a gift watch for the groom, etc.) no harm in asking the jeweler to loan you some bling for the wedding day. Might have to leave a deposit?
Michelle- I made OOT bags for any guests that were staying in the hotel where we reserved a block of rooms
We need ideas for unique groomsman gifts that aren’t silly or frat-ish. He only has 2 guys standing up so we would like something he could personalize. Help!
AmandaB - what about Please be my guest for a post-spa luncheon? I think it would imply that you are paying for the food.
StephanieLee– is the surcharge just for serving cakes from an outside bakery, or for serving any cake? Because you’d best make sure that they aren’t including the cost of cake plates and forks in that, or you might end up with your own servers with nothing to serve ON!
I’d probably ask some of your friends, rather than your parents’ friends, who would likely be offended to be “the help.” Maybe promise your friends extra cake to take home. 
And make sure they understand that “wedding cake” sized slices are often a lot smaller than standard slices, so they’ll want to be careful if they’re cutting!
Miss Bluebear- not sure where in LI you are but Eisenhower Park or Jones Beach (if it’s not too late in the fall!) are some options
StephanieLee, just pay the surcharge. at cake cutting time, people are usually ready to party and don’t want to do a “job”. it’ll be much less hassle to pay the couple hundred $ and have the servers pass it out.
christina, nothing is mandatory in the program. but in a catholic ceremony, there are lots of times when the guests are supposed to respond, so it’s often helpful to put those things in the program if you actually want the community to be involved. if you don’t really care, then you can just do an outline and then list your attendants… or don’t if you don’t want to. you don’t even have to have a program at all if you don’t care about that stuff.
I am starting to design my own invitations & want to use these envelopes: http://206.188.206.154/index.asp?PageAction=VIEWCATS&Category=171
but don’t want to use an outer envelope. How would I seal the top in a nice-looking way so that the inserts don’t fall out during mailing? Thanks!
1. aoedorothee: Pracilla of Boston carries them as well as you can order from the salon via the internet. Pieces range from $100-$400 or more.
3. Michelle: Only those out of state who need help with what to do while there get OOT bags.
4. Amanda: Give and invite for the lunch and verbal of the get together for the events afterwards.
StephanieLee - I agree with the not asking a guest to serve cake, but why don’t you see if that charge is to physically bring a slice of cake to each place setting. They may be happy to set the sliced and plated cake on a table for people to come up and get for free…a lot of weddings I’ve been to worked this way.
ilovehamm — I had the same problem so I am making a “here comes the bride” banner for them to carry. I will try to remember to post the DIY instructions at some point. I was going to buy one at first, but they are easy to make.
christina — are both or you families Catholic? if so, then maybe you don’t need all the extra info. If there are going to be a lot of non-Catholics at the ceremony, it might be nice to give them more info so they can follow along more easily.
aoedorothee: what kind of jewelry from haute bride are you looking for? i can tell you that the famous hollywood glam bracelet is priced around $250-285 depending on the salon you purchase from and tiaras are around $350-450. I believe the earrings are around $100+.
For their tiaras, they were lovely and hand crafted, but one thing I didn’t like was that you can see where they used glue to hold the pieces together.
Christina - I think a lot depends on how familiar your guests are likely to be with the Mass. If it’s the umpteenth nuptial Mass they’ve all been to this year, they’re probably quite comfortable not having everything spelled out for them. But it doesn’t take much to get lost and overwhelmed if you’re participating in a ceremony you’re not familiar with. Non-Catholic friends would probably appreciate some guidance on what happens when and what they should be doing.
AN, I would strongly advise an outer envelope. Your lovely rope detail might get ruined as it goes through post office handling. But to answer your question, there are these round clear seals from office max that you place on the edge. they are perforated down the middle for ease of opening.
My wedding was 6 weeks ago and our photog STILL hasnt posted the proofs online…is this normal? He is reputable and I am not worried about getting ripped off or anything but we are VERY anxious and i just dont see how it could possibly take so long…thanks!
StephanieLee:
this is from a wedding coordinator’s point of view.
Depending on what type of wedding cake you have, they can be very tricky to cut. I did a wedding 3 weeks ago that was a dense 4 tiered cake and the poor woman cutting the cake (from the catering company) was really getting a workout! It took 2 people to hold the cart that it was on when it was transported from the cake table, and she was using all her strength to get through the fondant and layers to cut the pieces and get the tiers off of the dowels.
It may seem excessive to have the venue charge a cake cutting fee, but they’re probably charging you for china, cutlery and then the labour that it takes to cut the cake.
Coffeetable wedding books -We want to do a coffeetable book instead of the traditional, leather-bound album you buy from your pro photographer.
Does anyone recommend a particular company? We’ve been looking at mypublisher.com and also fastbackbooks.com.
Thanks!
Miss bluebear — Check out Old Westbury, with its Great Gatsby era mansions.
Christina, what you include in your program is entirely up to you. How much direction do you think people will need/want in order to follow the service? Will people who aren’t familiar want to know about the congregational responses? Some people also like the program as a keepsake to remember what your readings were.
Personally, I lean toward more detail on the order of the service. especially if there are going to be people who think weddings take 15 minutes, not an hour! let them know what they’re in for 
I recently learned that some of my friends, including the person who is my man of honor (closest male friend, closer than any of my female friends), were discussing my relationship with my fiance, and concluding that we “probably weren’t going to last”, that they were “surprised when [they] heard that [we] were going to get married,” and that they apparently think that we never make each other happy. I feel dumbfounded. My fiance and I have been together for five years, engaged six months, and have always thought ourselves happy. I feel pretty shaken by this (and, I’ll admit, annoyed with the tattletale bridesmaid who told me these stories.) Has anyone else faced this kind of criticism? Should I confront my friends, and if so, how?
Miss Bluebear-
Oheka Castle http://www.oheka.com/index.html
Bethpage Park
Any one of the vineyards out east (north and south fork)
Montauk
-There are so many gorgeous places to get great Autumn shots!
Stephanielee- If you decide to ask someone to cut and plate the cake, I would ask a cousin or close friend who is not already involved in the wedding. We are having the same debate right now- so I feel your frustration. Like all before me have said, I would also check and see if the plates are there to use or part of the fee. Good Luck!
Miss Bluebear-
I don’t know where you are on LI but Argyle lake in Babylon Village is beautiful in the fall when the leaves change. If its within a decent travel time from where you are, I really recommend checking it out 
Thanks for all your advice on the OOT bags!!
Going to just do them for the relatives from Florida.
[…] Andrea is looking for a groomsman gifts that aren’t silly or frat-ish. They only have 2 groomsmen so they’re looking for something they can personalize. […]
