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“Are you getting excited?!!” seems to be the first thing people say to me nowadays. I’m not quite sure how to tell them, “Actually, we’re poorer than poor, and I’m really just wanting to be done with it.” Since that remark wouldn’t be taken lightly, I’ve decided to respond, “I’m just glad we’re closer to starting a family!”
Mr. Kiwi has accepted my fast-ticking biological clock as part of who I am. I’ve nannied, baby-sat and day cared for so many years it’s not even funny. I love babies and can’t wait to have one of our own baking away in the tuven (tummy oven). Talking about the wedding has lost its allure, and now we’re all about talking babies (Mrs. Bee, any sign of Babybee? hint hint).
I’m going to be 28 two days after the wedding. I’ve always thought that I wanted one baby in the works, or made by the time I’m 30. Mr. Kiwi agrees with that, at least he was cool with that when I was 25! It seems that once all the wedding pleasantries are spoken, the topic moves onto children: how many and how soon? I know a lot of you readers and Bees don’t even want to think about babies right now- one stress at a time, right? Still, having children is my dream. It’s weird because I literally ache when I’m around babies.
This leads me to our one year anniversary gift: we’re going to start trying for kids. Mr. Kiwi and I are thrilled with this idea, as are our families. In fact, at a family party last Saturday, my FMIL was holding someone’s baby and told Mr. Kiwi’s brother and sister that she wants a new baby in the family. Their response? “It’s all on Miss and Mister Kiwi, don’t look at us!” Running over to us with the baby in hand, FMIL relayed this slightly traitorous message from the future in-laws.
At least I know we’ll have plenty of people around to help us, if need be. The tons of hand-me-downs aren’t quite a bad deal, either (we have TONS of nieces and nephews and little cousins)! The one thing that thrills me most? Mr. Kiwi is already coming up with names for our kids. Thankfully this isn’t a case of me wanting, him not.
Oddly enough our countdown has changed to: three months til the wedding and 15 months till trying! Are you thinking of children now that you’re close to (or done with) marrying?
ME! When I get married next year, I’ll be 26 and my fiance will be 27. I want to start trying within two years after that. I’m baby crazy. Everywhere we go, I turn into mush when I see babies or baby clothes or baby toys. Luckily, my fiance feels the same way. We are super excited to be parents in the next few years. We do, though, want to take that little bit of time after the wedding to be selfish and enjoy each other.
I’m in your boat, Miss Kiwi! Get me past the altar and onto the birthing bed, please! J/K (sorta) but this bride definitely has the baby bug! (will be 29 at wedding…)
We’ve thought and talked about it. We’ve had the “when do you think you’d like to try” conversation. We’ve even had the “what do we do if I get preggers now, before the wedding” conversation. We’re on the same page, both excited to start a family and we know about when we’d like to try. 
I’ve represented too many people in divorce with toddlers - all of whom got pregnant right after (or before) their weddings — not for us. Adding a child to even the strongest relationship is a tremendous strain - not to be undertaken lightly. So, we’ve decided we won’t start trying for a child until after our second wedding anniversary, at the absolute earliest.
This is the case even though my FH is 29, I’m 40, we both have good careers, financial security, and own our home. We both realize that life isn’t a race to the “next thing” and don’t want to miss the moments of our early marriage because we’re too focused on getting pregnant. We’ve both seen that happen too many times, to good friends, who got completely overwhelmed and lost themselves in parenthood. Again, that’s just not for us.
hah, i got the ‘what are you gonna do when you get her pregnant?’ from my fiance’s grandmother (mind you this was while we were living together before we were engaged) the first time i met the woman!
i was so angry/upset.
now though… everyone is so involved in our wedding planning that i dont think babies even occur to them (thank heaven!)
(I really appreciate Paula’s insight)
Babies are definitely on the brain. We sometimes wish we were married already just so we can get on with life (not just baby). We just talked about this weekend actually the verdict is we’re waiting 2 years.
At this point, we don’t want kids. I’m 29 now, and I don’t have the baby bug or turn to mush when I see kids. FI is the same way. We agreed that we would re-examine the issue in five years to see if anything’s changed, but right now we’re just looking forward to traveling and trying out new stuff together, without having to worry about a baby.
Some people are suprised when we tell them that ( in repsonse to the whole “when are you gonna have kids” question), but most understand that we don’t want to just have a kids because it’s what we’re supposed to do. My mom recently confided in me that my dad really wants to be a grandpa someday, so I hope my brother can come through with that for him.
We’ve been together already seven years, but we’re still waiting. A. We’re too young B. We’re too selfish C. We want to travel. They’re just not a priority right now and won’t be for a while. Maybe in the future.
Wow, I am in kind of the opposite situation.
I really have no interest in having children at all. I am open to the fact that this might change as I get older (I will be 27 in Sept), but I really don’t foresee a desire to have babies any time in the future. The boy on the other hand…every time baseball season rolls around he starts dropping hints about how it would be nice to teach his kid how to play catch, so on and so forth…
And don’t get me wrong, I like kids, I just don’t want any of my own.
if we launched a baby site without me being pregnant, the overwhelming “so when are you having babies” questions would kill me. 
but yes one has been in the master plan since before we launched weddingbee.
I’m with Jessica and Aimee… no babies on the horizon. We just don’t want one any time soon, if at all.
We are, however, adopting a new kitten tomorrow! We thought we could wait until after the wedding, but we couldn’t.. the urge hit early!
First of all - I mentioned the prospect of Babybee MONTHS ago! You can totally Google search it
I have a friend who has been married for two years, and she says that for each anniversary that rolls around where they aren’t pregnant, they take an amazing trip (think Europe, Africa, etc.) While FH and I won’t have that kind of money (at least for a few years while we pay off this wedding!) we have decided we will do something similar, but keep it stateside. While we both want kids (me especially) we also want to be selfish and enjoy each other alone for awhile. (We’re only 22 now, so there really is no rush. Plus, his 25 year old sister and her husband should get first crack at it.)
Just remember every time you get pregnant, it adds on AT LEAST 18 more years before it will ever be just you and hubs in the house again.
um, i kinda want a baby, but not soon. i really want to cherish our alone time together, getting used to each other’s habits and enjoying each other. so i’m waiting til 2 years after.. 2010 sounds good. nice round numbered year. we’ll both be turning 32 by that time. no rush at all, we wanna do it when we’re ready. we still want to buy a house first.
All the other pre-req’s have been met and we are starting to think about it….. but meanwhile have told family (1) no asking until at least our 1st anniversary and (2) prepare yourselves to help diffuse the ignorance that interracial babies are little genetic science projects.
We get this question ALOT and figured out the best answer for all our familes… “when God wants us to have kids…he’ll let us.” That way, they can’t argue with us.
My FI says two years yet I’d want one sooner but since we are taking a Big vacation next summer with all my friends and their SO and it’s all about wearing bikinis… I think we’ll wait till after that!
Oh I caught the babybug a loooooong time ago. I am able to enjoy my time while I’m child-free though - I do love being able to sleep in! The funny thing is that I realized I wanted kids when I got a pregnancy scare at age 19. When it turned out to be just a scare and I wasn’t pregnant at all, I was oddly disappointed, though I realized it was still for the best. At that point I realized the timing wasn’t right yet, but that I would want children someday. Now it’s 8 years later, so we’re getting closer to “someday.”
My fiance and I are probably going to start trying for a baby when we’ve been married for 6 months. Paula I totally appreciate where you’re coming from, but we’ve already been living together for 2 1/2 years, and originally planned to get married THIS summer (and then we would have waited 18 months to start trying). Unfortunately all the good wedding venues were already booked for this summer, so we put the wedding off till next summer, but we don’t want that to delay our baby plans!
If you’re an animal person, I would highly recommend getting a pet as a couple first. Not that it’s comparable to a baby, but it does give you the chance to get used to seeing each other in a caretaker role and how to manage that together, without having quite the same huge responsibility as raising a child. You’ll have to be responsible for cleaning up after it, feeding it, and disciplining it. It’s a good start.
My FI and I are both at points in our lives where we want to have a baby. I can’t wait to share that experience with him! But I do want a little time for just the two of us! - So maybe a year…
Mmmmm - We’re going to wait a little. I’m 29 and FI is 31… We have plenty of time. We really want to enjoy the “married time” (We have dated off and on for 10 years, and we’re still in love with the idea of man and wife for a bit) We love/want kids, but also want to be able to provide for them with a mommy at home. We both have good careers now, and need to spend a year at least working on a married budget to decide when I can quit to be a full time mommy (don’t even try to talk me out of it… I’m super passionate about raising our kids - not judging others, just keeping my family on track for me)
baby away Kiwis - send some pictures to my folks so that they will stop asking us for grandkids
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Mrs. Kiwi, Los Angeles Age and Occupation in 06: 27, Bookkeeper Fiance's Age and Occupation: 27, P.E. Teach/Coach @ private schools in LA Engagement Date: March 31, 2006 Wedding Date: November 3, 2007 Venue: Radisson Hotel About Me: I'm a bookkeeper who failed high school algebra. I'm currently living in Los Angeles, literally a street over from where I grew up with Mr. Kiwi, my honey of three years. We have a jumbo mini-dachshund (seriously, he's huuuuge), and we're planning an autumn themed wedding on a shoestring, paid for by ourselves. The wedding date is my late grandma's birthday, I needed her there somehow, and that seemed like the best way for us. I can't believe I'm a Bee! I couldn't be more proud!
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