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I’m sure by now you’re familiar with the phenomenon of trashing the wedding dress. I must say I was completely clueless until I started to come across it in a few magazines and online. And frankly, I am a bit surprised at the popularity. The premise is this: after the wedding (thankfully!) you and a photographer (and possibly your groom) go on a photo shoot where you basically destroy the dress. You run in the ocean, you jump in mud, you roll on the ground, whatever your fancy. The theory behind this is that you’ll have some fun, get great pictures, and when else are you going to need your dress again?
Something about this really upsets me! I love art as much of the next person, and these photo shoots are great. I shouldn’t really get upset, but it just seems so wasteful. And granted, they’re right, you aren’t going to wear the dress again. Your future daughter probably won’t want to wear it. You’ll probably leave it in a plastic bag for the rest of eternity. But nonetheless, this just seems wrong! Another reason for it is that you’re committed to your husband, so you’re only getting married and don’t need the dress again. But completely destroying it seems a bit hypocritical, too. You don’t destroy the wedding band after you say your vows. What do you guys think? Am I missing out on the fun?
whoa, i’ve seen many ocean and pool shots, but i’ve never seen a dress on fire. theoretically, you could wash the dress and although it’ll never be pristine, i’m sure the dress would still be fine after being in the mud or beach or pool. but after fire? that’s really really trashing the dress.
i do understand the concept of just having another photo shoot with your wedding dress on, thus “preserving” your dress in photos. and this is a fun way to do it. maybe if it wasn’t called “trash” the dress, it wouldn’t sound so bad?
but really, that fire one is disturbing.
it would have been really difficult for me to trash my dress after the wedding. although I think it makes for some amazing photo ops, I would be more likely to purchase a discount $100 wedding gown somewhere to do such photos. That’s probably wasteful too though but it wouldn’t break my heart like having my actual wedding gown ruined. That last picture of the dress on fire is crazy!
I don’t consider the wedding dress part of the symbolism of the marriage, so this doesn’t bother me at all. I wasn’t particularly attached to it. If it were a big, symbolic deal to me, I wouldn’t have worn white. My husband didn’t get all attached to his rented tux. Was it “hypocritical” for him to return it to the store? (I do think your use of that word is a little much!)
Rings are a lasting symbol, and something you exchange, so I don’t think it’s an appropriate comparison.
I think it’s awesome.
I have to wonder — what do you care? I’m not trying to be rude, really. But why does everyone feel they have a “right” to judge or give their opinion on what others do with their weddings. It’s her dress - if she wants to trash it - more power to her!
I don’t judge people who get tattoos of their wedding bands (what happens when they get divorced), have kids before they marry the other parent, etc. But you’ll judge me for getting my dress wet?
Wow the fire is definitely extreme! Comes across as anti-wedding a bit! HA!
Some of the photos look pretty, but some come across looking kinda scary to me…!
Some girls have looked almost ghost like or possibly dead in some of the TTD sessions I’ve seen!
I guess I do see your point of being wasteful! Not to mention all the organizations that you can donate your dress to for less fortunate people or for a cause!
Although I’ve heard some girls were able to get their dresses cleaned after a beach session and it was fine!
I think it more symbolizes the fact that you wont need your wedding dress ever again because you’ll be happily married to your Mr for the rest of your life!
I think TTD is a wonderful work of art. I hardly know any forms of art that are “functional” or “useful” so I dont really think this is any different!
I can see how some people see this as wasteful, but lots of girls (like myself) work really hard to earn the money to buy a dream wedding dress and are entitled to do whatever they want with it.
I hope to TTD after my wedding, and depending on how expensive my wedding dress is, I may buy a discount dress for the occasion, and give the pics to my future husband as a 1st anniversary gift.
I’m with Jilly. It’s just a dress that unless you are going to wear again and again or donate, then what’s the big deal?
The comparison to rings and apparel are apples and oranges. Your rings–you’ll be wearing them for the rest of your lives… the dress. it is just a bunch of fabric wrapping you up to make you look pretty.
I for one, love the idea. It seems like a great way to relax after the dust settles for your wedding. 
Would I do it? In a heart beat!
I think it just sounds like a Trash the Dress session is not the right solution for you personally when your wedding is over. I hope you don’t mind that it might be the right solution for others though I would love to do one myself, but I think I’ve maxed out my photo budget on the day of the wedding itself! The reason I want to do a trash the dress session is that I’m not particularly a sentimental person with regards to my dress. I love it, but I don’t think it’s a bad omen for the marriage if I don’t keep it. I do however place a very high value on the photos, so I think that would be a better way to remember my dress than keeping it in a box in my closet.
In the big ‘trash the dress’ debate, I keep coming back to the fact that, in addition storing our dresses in the attic forever and setting them on fire/submerging them in a swamp/whatever, there is a third alternative: Donate! Making Memories has done such amazing work in the last few years, getting the word out about their gown donations. Your bridesmaids can even donate their dresses to a local charity that re-sells formals to girls who can’t afford prom dresses. If all the bother in the press about ‘trash the dress’ just serves to educate more women about donation alternatives, then I guess it’s cool. The last few articles I have seen have specifically mentioned that the dresses will be cleaned and donated, so yay - but I would pay cash money to see the lady who set her dress on fire bring that into a dry cleaner’s! “We had a little adventure during our photo shoot, think you can tidy this up? Mmkaythanks!”
I think it’s offensive. There are plenty of girls who cannot afford wedding gowns. I think that if people care so little about their dress to ruin it, why not donate it to someone who would appreciate it? I’m not trying to be judgemental to any individual who chooses to ruin their dress, Kat is right - people have a right to do whatever they wish with what they own. But I think it says a lot about how excessively expensive and wasteful weddings have become.
Whoa, what’s with all the trash talk, ladies?
I wouldn’t do it. I couldn’t do it. But that’s just me.
Btw, the fire picture is totally cool.
I agree with previous posters - though I do want to point out a misconception - that the dress is actually trashed. In many cases, the dress can be (easily) cleaned and preserved should one want to do that. In many cases, it’s still in perfectly good condition to be donated. There was a post on the TTD site recently about Brides Against Breast Cancer - http://trashthedress.wordpress.com/2007/07/26/brides-against-breast-cancer/
In speaking with one of the folks from Brides Against Breast Cancer, it became apparent that while nicely preserved gowns are certainly welcome, even those gowns that may be ripped or otherwise imperfect in condition may still be welcomed by charities because they can be used in other ways (I think one mentioned was to use the fabric or sell it in order to generate revenue).
There are so many options with what to do with your dress after the wedding. “Trashing” it doesn’t mean you have no other options.
I will be trying to sell my dress (or donate if that doesn’t work) after the wedding. No way it’s going to be worn again, and I don’t at all want to put any future daughter of mine through the guilt trip my mom put me through about not wearing her preserved wedding dress from 1980 (which she then found out was stained from the cleaning (or poor cleaning) process) - but I am wearing her veil.
Anyway, I think it’s a cool Idea, and probably not wasteful if you do just take pictures in water. Obviously the dress is totally ruined in that fire picture… yikes!
R - my take on it is that the act of trashing the dress is often symbolic and meaningful to the person who chooses to do it. It’s making a statement that you believe you will never need that dress again, you trust fully in the strength and commitment of your marriage and you will not divorce. I think that’s a beautiful statement to illustrate with pictures. Not that there’s anything wrong with donating the dress either, and as someone above mentioned, sometimes a professional dress cleaning can even get out stains from a trash the dress session and you might even be able to trash it AND donate it! But I just think it’s a bit judgmental to say that trashing the dress is thoughtless and wasteful, when it might be meaningful and thoughtFUL to the person doing it.
Donating bridesmaid dresses is a good idea too, as Lowy said. But one of my friends has to wear a two piece dress, half brown, half orange from David’s that she says she can’t even donate because no one would want to wear it for a prom! 
I’m sorry, but I have to chime in again - to say that “trashing” a dress is offensive is just plain ridiculous. I don’t mean to create more drama here, but there are a lot of other wasteful and obnoxious things that people do with and surrounding weddings that can have far less meaning than something like this. Just because another person can’t afford a dress shouldn’t make me inclined to get a cheaper one or not do what I want with mine. And plenty of $100 dresses have been trashed in the same way as a very expensive one.
People *do* care about their dresses, and there are some extreme photos where the dress truly is ruined, but please don’t assume that every person who does this “doesn’t care about her dress” - I know plenty of people who have done a TTD session and then donated their gown.
This is just my personal opinion so obviously I’m not judging anyone. That said, I hope this is a trend that fades out like leg warmers did in the 80s.
It’s certainly up to the bride what she wants to do with her dress after her wedding. Your wedding gown is given such a level of importance that destroying it seems counterproductive. Why not pass on the dress so another woman can feel gorgeous on her own wedding day? There are too many organizations to count that would be happy to accept a donated wedding gown.
I have to wonder if this wasn’t dreamt up by a wedding photographer looking for a “new angle”. Again, my personal thoughts, not meant to attack wedding photogs or anyone who has/will TTD.
I wouldn’t be able to trash my dress but I’d probably consider buying a cheap dress to take some pretty barefoot shots in the forest lounging against a mossy tree trunk
Miss Peppermint - I’m really glad you wrote this post. I’ve never wanted to say anything in response to earlier posts about this phenomenon, because I didn’t want to imply that I thought anything was “wrong” with any individual bride’s choices (especially not a bee! you ladies are all so wonderful!!) I do not wish to judge the choices that anyone makes, and I want to point out that your post did not come across as judgemental to me. I think that some of the “trash the dress” photos I have seen are absolutely beautiful and fun. And I imagine that for many women who choose to do this, there is thought and meaning behind it. However, my immediate response has always been that it seems hugely wasteful. Wedding dresses are such expensive and intricate garments. I know that a dress is just a dress and that the owner of a dress can do anything she wants with it. But, this logic aside, something about it seems to smack of conspicuous consumption.
I think most people think of it as wasteful when they think that dresses should be donated or that it’s a display of excess. The truth is that the money was already spent… and very few people are comfortable giving away their dress. So some people will have a $8000 dress sitting it their closet that they wore once… so be it. Now, brides can get pictures in the beauty of their dress away from the wedding day!
Check out this picture of a July bride who “trashed” her dress yesterday… and tell me you wouldn’t want a photo like this!
http://tinyurl.com/32bp6n
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Miss Peppermint, LA/Palm Springs Age and Occupation: 23, Actress Fiance's Age and Occupation: 24, Web Producer Engagement Date: October 21, 2006 Wedding Date: December 2007 Blogging Since: July 2, 2007 Venue: historic estate overlooking the heart of Palm Springs About Me: I am a Southern California native who enjoys cooking, writing, travel and all things in the arts. Mr. Peppermint and I met in college and he proposed on our four year anniversary in one of our most special places, Joshua Tree National Park. We're having a destination wedding in Palms Springs that will incorporate tradition as well as reflect our personalities!
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