Wedding Blog
I’m sure by now you’re familiar with the phenomenon of trashing the wedding dress. I must say I was completely clueless until I started to come across it in a few magazines and online. And frankly, I am a bit surprised at the popularity. The premise is this: after the wedding (thankfully!) you and a photographer (and possibly your groom) go on a photo shoot where you basically destroy the dress. You run in the ocean, you jump in mud, you roll on the ground, whatever your fancy. The theory behind this is that you’ll have some fun, get great pictures, and when else are you going to need your dress again?
Something about this really upsets me! I love art as much of the next person, and these photo shoots are great. I shouldn’t really get upset, but it just seems so wasteful. And granted, they’re right, you aren’t going to wear the dress again. Your future daughter probably won’t want to wear it. You’ll probably leave it in a plastic bag for the rest of eternity. But nonetheless, this just seems wrong! Another reason for it is that you’re committed to your husband, so you’re only getting married and don’t need the dress again. But completely destroying it seems a bit hypocritical, too. You don’t destroy the wedding band after you say your vows. What do you guys think? Am I missing out on the fun?
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whoa, i’ve seen many ocean and pool shots, but i’ve never seen a dress on fire. theoretically, you could wash the dress and although it’ll never be pristine, i’m sure the dress would still be fine after being in the mud or beach or pool. but after fire? that’s really really trashing the dress.
i do understand the concept of just having another photo shoot with your wedding dress on, thus “preserving” your dress in photos. and this is a fun way to do it. maybe if it wasn’t called “trash” the dress, it wouldn’t sound so bad?
but really, that fire one is disturbing.
it would have been really difficult for me to trash my dress after the wedding. although I think it makes for some amazing photo ops, I would be more likely to purchase a discount $100 wedding gown somewhere to do such photos. That’s probably wasteful too though but it wouldn’t break my heart like having my actual wedding gown ruined. That last picture of the dress on fire is crazy!
I don’t consider the wedding dress part of the symbolism of the marriage, so this doesn’t bother me at all. I wasn’t particularly attached to it. If it were a big, symbolic deal to me, I wouldn’t have worn white. My husband didn’t get all attached to his rented tux. Was it “hypocritical” for him to return it to the store? (I do think your use of that word is a little much!)
Rings are a lasting symbol, and something you exchange, so I don’t think it’s an appropriate comparison.
I think it’s awesome.
I have to wonder — what do you care? I’m not trying to be rude, really. But why does everyone feel they have a “right” to judge or give their opinion on what others do with their weddings. It’s her dress - if she wants to trash it - more power to her!
I don’t judge people who get tattoos of their wedding bands (what happens when they get divorced), have kids before they marry the other parent, etc. But you’ll judge me for getting my dress wet?
Wow the fire is definitely extreme! Comes across as anti-wedding a bit! HA!
Some of the photos look pretty, but some come across looking kinda scary to me…!
Some girls have looked almost ghost like or possibly dead in some of the TTD sessions I’ve seen!
I guess I do see your point of being wasteful! Not to mention all the organizations that you can donate your dress to for less fortunate people or for a cause!
Although I’ve heard some girls were able to get their dresses cleaned after a beach session and it was fine!
I think it more symbolizes the fact that you wont need your wedding dress ever again because you’ll be happily married to your Mr for the rest of your life!
I think TTD is a wonderful work of art. I hardly know any forms of art that are “functional” or “useful” so I dont really think this is any different!
I can see how some people see this as wasteful, but lots of girls (like myself) work really hard to earn the money to buy a dream wedding dress and are entitled to do whatever they want with it.
I hope to TTD after my wedding, and depending on how expensive my wedding dress is, I may buy a discount dress for the occasion, and give the pics to my future husband as a 1st anniversary gift.
I’m with Jilly. It’s just a dress that unless you are going to wear again and again or donate, then what’s the big deal?
The comparison to rings and apparel are apples and oranges. Your rings–you’ll be wearing them for the rest of your lives… the dress. it is just a bunch of fabric wrapping you up to make you look pretty.
I for one, love the idea. It seems like a great way to relax after the dust settles for your wedding. 
Would I do it? In a heart beat!
I think it just sounds like a Trash the Dress session is not the right solution for you personally when your wedding is over. I hope you don’t mind that it might be the right solution for others though I would love to do one myself, but I think I’ve maxed out my photo budget on the day of the wedding itself! The reason I want to do a trash the dress session is that I’m not particularly a sentimental person with regards to my dress. I love it, but I don’t think it’s a bad omen for the marriage if I don’t keep it. I do however place a very high value on the photos, so I think that would be a better way to remember my dress than keeping it in a box in my closet.
In the big ‘trash the dress’ debate, I keep coming back to the fact that, in addition storing our dresses in the attic forever and setting them on fire/submerging them in a swamp/whatever, there is a third alternative: Donate! Making Memories has done such amazing work in the last few years, getting the word out about their gown donations. Your bridesmaids can even donate their dresses to a local charity that re-sells formals to girls who can’t afford prom dresses. If all the bother in the press about ‘trash the dress’ just serves to educate more women about donation alternatives, then I guess it’s cool. The last few articles I have seen have specifically mentioned that the dresses will be cleaned and donated, so yay - but I would pay cash money to see the lady who set her dress on fire bring that into a dry cleaner’s! “We had a little adventure during our photo shoot, think you can tidy this up? Mmkaythanks!”
I think it’s offensive. There are plenty of girls who cannot afford wedding gowns. I think that if people care so little about their dress to ruin it, why not donate it to someone who would appreciate it? I’m not trying to be judgemental to any individual who chooses to ruin their dress, Kat is right - people have a right to do whatever they wish with what they own. But I think it says a lot about how excessively expensive and wasteful weddings have become.
Whoa, what’s with all the trash talk, ladies?
I wouldn’t do it. I couldn’t do it. But that’s just me.
Btw, the fire picture is totally cool.
I agree with previous posters - though I do want to point out a misconception - that the dress is actually trashed. In many cases, the dress can be (easily) cleaned and preserved should one want to do that. In many cases, it’s still in perfectly good condition to be donated. There was a post on the TTD site recently about Brides Against Breast Cancer - http://trashthedress.wordpress.com/2007/07/26/brides-against-breast-cancer/
In speaking with one of the folks from Brides Against Breast Cancer, it became apparent that while nicely preserved gowns are certainly welcome, even those gowns that may be ripped or otherwise imperfect in condition may still be welcomed by charities because they can be used in other ways (I think one mentioned was to use the fabric or sell it in order to generate revenue).
There are so many options with what to do with your dress after the wedding. “Trashing” it doesn’t mean you have no other options.
I will be trying to sell my dress (or donate if that doesn’t work) after the wedding. No way it’s going to be worn again, and I don’t at all want to put any future daughter of mine through the guilt trip my mom put me through about not wearing her preserved wedding dress from 1980 (which she then found out was stained from the cleaning (or poor cleaning) process) - but I am wearing her veil.
Anyway, I think it’s a cool Idea, and probably not wasteful if you do just take pictures in water. Obviously the dress is totally ruined in that fire picture… yikes!
R - my take on it is that the act of trashing the dress is often symbolic and meaningful to the person who chooses to do it. It’s making a statement that you believe you will never need that dress again, you trust fully in the strength and commitment of your marriage and you will not divorce. I think that’s a beautiful statement to illustrate with pictures. Not that there’s anything wrong with donating the dress either, and as someone above mentioned, sometimes a professional dress cleaning can even get out stains from a trash the dress session and you might even be able to trash it AND donate it! But I just think it’s a bit judgmental to say that trashing the dress is thoughtless and wasteful, when it might be meaningful and thoughtFUL to the person doing it.
Donating bridesmaid dresses is a good idea too, as Lowy said. But one of my friends has to wear a two piece dress, half brown, half orange from David’s that she says she can’t even donate because no one would want to wear it for a prom! 
I’m sorry, but I have to chime in again - to say that “trashing” a dress is offensive is just plain ridiculous. I don’t mean to create more drama here, but there are a lot of other wasteful and obnoxious things that people do with and surrounding weddings that can have far less meaning than something like this. Just because another person can’t afford a dress shouldn’t make me inclined to get a cheaper one or not do what I want with mine. And plenty of $100 dresses have been trashed in the same way as a very expensive one.
People *do* care about their dresses, and there are some extreme photos where the dress truly is ruined, but please don’t assume that every person who does this “doesn’t care about her dress” - I know plenty of people who have done a TTD session and then donated their gown.
This is just my personal opinion so obviously I’m not judging anyone. That said, I hope this is a trend that fades out like leg warmers did in the 80s.
It’s certainly up to the bride what she wants to do with her dress after her wedding. Your wedding gown is given such a level of importance that destroying it seems counterproductive. Why not pass on the dress so another woman can feel gorgeous on her own wedding day? There are too many organizations to count that would be happy to accept a donated wedding gown.
I have to wonder if this wasn’t dreamt up by a wedding photographer looking for a “new angle”. Again, my personal thoughts, not meant to attack wedding photogs or anyone who has/will TTD.
I wouldn’t be able to trash my dress but I’d probably consider buying a cheap dress to take some pretty barefoot shots in the forest lounging against a mossy tree trunk
Miss Peppermint - I’m really glad you wrote this post. I’ve never wanted to say anything in response to earlier posts about this phenomenon, because I didn’t want to imply that I thought anything was “wrong” with any individual bride’s choices (especially not a bee! you ladies are all so wonderful!!) I do not wish to judge the choices that anyone makes, and I want to point out that your post did not come across as judgemental to me. I think that some of the “trash the dress” photos I have seen are absolutely beautiful and fun. And I imagine that for many women who choose to do this, there is thought and meaning behind it. However, my immediate response has always been that it seems hugely wasteful. Wedding dresses are such expensive and intricate garments. I know that a dress is just a dress and that the owner of a dress can do anything she wants with it. But, this logic aside, something about it seems to smack of conspicuous consumption.
I think most people think of it as wasteful when they think that dresses should be donated or that it’s a display of excess. The truth is that the money was already spent… and very few people are comfortable giving away their dress. So some people will have a $8000 dress sitting it their closet that they wore once… so be it. Now, brides can get pictures in the beauty of their dress away from the wedding day!
Check out this picture of a July bride who “trashed” her dress yesterday… and tell me you wouldn’t want a photo like this!
http://tinyurl.com/32bp6n
I guess I just like the idea of getting more use out of something… and after living in LA you see more horrific wastes of $$ on a daily basis to even blink an eye at this
I would definitely do it, and then have my dress cleaned and donate it to a cause. Just because you “trash” it, doesn’t mean there is no hope of cleaning it. If you take it straight to the cleaners i’m sure you can get it near pristine.
I think that it’s up to each individual. Although I can understand why people are against it.
I agree with everyone who said that compairing the dress to the rings is apples to oranges. The ring (as much as I disagree with this) is what shows you are “bound” to your husband, not the dress. Why buy the dress at all if it’s a waste to trash it? Whats the point of keeping it either?
I personally don’t care what anyone does with their property, but I think it would be great if everyone donated their gown - “trashed” & cleaned or not.
Eh, I don’t care whether people trash their dress or not, but obviously if they asked my advice I would say donate it. Some of the beach/surf shots I’ve seen are pretty, but no more then the same poses taken in regular clothes during an engagement session.
HOWEVER, I will say that the dead brides pictures are really disturbing. I assume that those are solely artwork for the photographer to have for their art portfolio (and I definitely have negative feelings towards what those photographs are supposed to “say”).
I only assume that because a picture of yourself seemingly dead? Yuck.
The talented John Michael Cooper from altf in Las Vegas took that fire picture. http://www.altf.com/
Check out the site . . . there’s a lot to love.
I am so glad you posted this miss peppermint. I have been mortified to see these beautiful dresses “trashed.” And i thought i was the only one!
Well, I think the term trash the dress is perhaps a little misleading. Ask any Destination wedding bride, and she’ll tell you that sand and water won’t ruin a dress. Of course the burning–that’s another story, but most of the time, they can be cleaned and they are as good as new.
Read the comments on the ttd site about the fire pic; it’s pretty interesting (includes the tech information on how they did it). It would be a waste for me to trash my dress, but people are going to do what they want with their belongings. As long as no one is really hurt, I’m not against it.
Is anyone else altering their dress so they can wear it again? I’m having a dress custom made (based on jim hjelm occasions JH5673), and when we get back from the wedding, I’m going to have it hemmed to knee length so I can wear it to dinner on our anniversary.
I agree with several ladies here - do what you want, preserve it in pictures, and then let someone else feel as beautiful as you did.
“Trashing” the dress in most instances is a misnomer. Some TTD sessions put the dress in no worse of a situation than the regular beating it gets on the big day (spilled makeup, ripped when the flower girl steps on it, etc. - was it one of the bees who said that her dress inevitably became a dust mop?)
While I won’t be doing a professional shoot afterwards (partly because FH has to return his tux and partly because we have to leave early the next day for our honeymoon) I am thinking about bringing my dress with me on our honeymoon cruise, or at least to Galveston, where we are leaving from, to get some beach pictures taken by my groom. Fun, cost-effective and nothing too damaging that I can’t clean it and resell it when I get back
The burning one is photoshopped — at least I believe I read that somewhere … I’m not for ruining the dress, but I love the concept of a more casual, post-wedding photo shoot where you’re not freaking out if you get something on the dress. A St. Louis area photographer has just started doing what he calls a “Celebrate the Dress” shoot, often with that urban feel that I think a lot of brides are looking for. Sort of a TTD, without the super-trashing. Check it out here: http://browersphotography.blogspot.com/search/label/celebratedress
I’m so glad someone else mentioned the “celebrate the dress” that Michael is doing.
To me, a wedding is not something you spend money on without a lot of thought. I chose vendors based on their business practices and only chose local small businesses with the exception of tuxes. I wanted to give back to the community. I planned my wedding around the guests and not just what my FI and I wanted because they’re our support system and the ones who will be helping our marriage in the years to come.
I saved all my wedding planning info in a filing folder holder so future friends can avoid the hassle of collecting knowledge and wasting more paper to print those things. I’m not having a green wedding, but a socially conscious one.
That being said, I could not do anything to destroy my dress. I want another bride who can’t afford what I could to be able to experience feeling beautiful. I would hate for my dress to lay around unused and unloved and I would hate for all that work on the dress to go without appreciation because I know that $1000 for a dress is just too much for just one bride and one day.
I recognize that my values don’t match everyone’s, but as beautiful as those pictures are I could never do it.
[...] Uncategorized — markeric @ 7:08 pm Looks like a hornet’s nest has been stirred up at Wedding Bee, ha ha. Thanksfully, some of the Bees are trying to convey what we are really all about. Thank you [...]
Wow! I’m really surprised at how heated this is!
Miss Peppermint:
I would love a photo session of me in my dress doing things most people wouldn’t normally do, especially since I’m not really planning on wearing it again, and i think it’s always good to have some interesting photos that you can look back on later and think “look at me, all hot in my pretty dress. what a cool picture.”
I think that the symbolism of a wedding dress is very powerful. When my best friend was getting married, she would visit the bridal salon that was holding it for her quite often. the women there thought she was a little crazy. but she told me it was something like the culmination of all of her little girl dreams.
the dress-fire pic does scare me, but really because I’m wondering how she took the picture without burning herself– maybe she’s got some on underneathe, but her arm is practically bare.
I “trashed”/”celebrated” my dress in Atlantic City and it was for the simple fact that I wanted more pics with my new husband in a different environment. So why not in a pretty dress that I liked wearing and spent countless of months deciding to buy. It’s still in the bag, hanging on the dor, waiting to get cleaned, just as it had been previously to the photo shoot. No harm! It actually had been dirtier before I went for the shoot than after. Go figure!
I was one of the brides who “trashed” my dress at the recent Orange County bash — and I use the term trash very loosely. My dress came out CLEANIER than it went in, no rips, stains, etc. I had a blast, got some interesting photos, met some really awesome people, and no one was harmed in the making of the photos. I personally never planned on donating my dress and I do take some offense to the sheer number of people who “demand” we donate our dresses. I’m saving mine for my future daughter to play dress up in, just like my mother did for me…
My grandmother’s dress was cut apart and made into doll clothes. That’s certainly more destructive than just getting it wet. Does that make it more wrong?
I don’t care for the idea, but I am surprised at how many people are getting angry at the fact that someone is not ok with it. I don’t think it matters if you want to do it, just as it shouldn’t matter if one doesn’t want to do it.
I am in total agreement with Kelli. I was also one of the brides at the Orange County bash and it’ true…my dress is NOT ruined or trashed. After a simple cleaning, the dress is in the same condition it was after my wedding (nearly perfect). I believe that the critics of this event are ignorant of what really happens to the dresses and they underestimate how memorable the experience and photographs are to the brides that participated.
In reference to donating the dresses, I never planned on donating my gown, but because I was involved in this event, I feel somewhat bullied to do so due to accusations of wastefulness or excess. Silly. If any bride is going to donate her gown, it should be out of her own heart, not because of guilt or self-image.
First, on http://www.trashthedress.com/ there’s actually a post covering the donation option…many of the dresses actually can be cleaned and still donated/preserved.
Second, it makes me very uncomfortable when people get mad at others for not donating. I think any donation is a very personal decision and because you are okay and support with a particular charity others may not be (i.e., many people have ethical issues with Salvation Army and may not want to donate to them and that’s okay). I also don’t think it’s okay when women with long hair are called selfish for not chopping it off for donation or mothers who give birth to their children insead of adopting those in need. Yes donation is a wonderful thing, but it’s completely personal and optional. The dress is a personal investment and I think they should use it as they see fit.
p.s., I don’t like the fire picture, but I found it reassuring to know it was taken in 2 parts - one of the bride wearing it one of the empty dress on fire.
I think it’s great! Do what you want with your dress! I plan on doing it!
I agree with Jilly (post #3). I’ll also chime in that most of the time the dresses are not ruined. The name is artsy, just like the end product.
I’m curious how storing the dress in a box never to be touched again is any less wasteful than “trashing” it. Many have already mentioned that the dress can be washed and donated still (if the bride would like to do this).
As for the fire photo, it’s a special effect people, done on the computer!
It really comes down to personal preference. If YOU want to do it…. WONDERFUL, if you don’t no ones making you, stop judging others for wanting interesting beautiful photos. Some of the photos appeal to me, others don’t that’s my personal preference, and that’s ALL it is, PERSONAL PREFERENCE.
Quit judging others for what they want to do.
I am definitely doing a ‘trash the dress’ session with my photographer, but it doesn’t have to be drag-out, down-and-dirty type of stuff. The idea behind our session is just that my new husband and I will take pictures together with a background OTHER than a darn church altar! It’s about going places where most people would say…you went WHERE in a white gown?!?! and getting beautiful photos to hang around our home out of it!
Some people have a tendancy to be very closed minded. I am one of the girls who did the trash the dress, and met the person who coined the phrase “trash the dress” (John Michael Cooper) and the writer of the trash the dress blog (Mark Eric) as well and plenty of other ridiculously talented photographers. I have to say that it was absolutely the best/most fun thing I have done. I am just as and maybe even more excited about those pictures as the actual wedding pictures. For the record… my dress got dirtier at the reception than it did at the “trash the dress” shoot. I had the opportunity to get some aweome pictures and I got the chance to wear my dress again.. so much better than if it had been sitting in a box!
Wow! I had no idea this would lead to such a hot debate
First off, I should clarify: I don’t mean to judge people who choose to Trash the Dress. In my blog-writing, I can be a bit facetious to get a reaction (I guess it worked!). I’ve only read positive things about Trash the Dress so I wanted to play the devil’s advocate. I don’t think it’s the right thing for me, but by all means I support anyones decision to do it.
Laura (#8) - if you are interested in a trash the dress session but aren’t sure about the cost, I’ve heard that photographers will often do them for free because they want to build up their portfolio with this hot new trend
Incidentally, trashthedress.com announced a partnership with http://www.bridesagainstbreastcancer.com.
wow i never thought this post would generate so much controversy! whatever a bride decides to do with her dress is a completely personal decision whether she chooses to preserve, trash, donate, etc. and more power to you.
i’m a fan of the shoots, and i know that a lot of the dresses don’t really get “trashed”, but i don’t think there’s any way that i, personally, could risk damaging a very expensive gown (i’d rather donate it without damage).
what i’d be interested in knowing, is for those of you decided for or against trashing your dress - was the cost of the dress a factor in your decision?
Speaking from the benefit of hindsight (happily married more than 26 years), I don’t think it’s worth it to preserve the wedding dress. As a very experienced seamstress, I made my own dress including many detailed, hand-sewn elements. I wore it about four hours and the dress has been sitting my attic ever since. I haven’t once looked at my dress in 26 years (except when we’ve moved), but I’ve looked at my wedding album many, many times. I wish they had the “trash the dress” concept back then.
I think an appropriate comparision is keeping a treasured, handmade quilt in a cedar chest but never looking at it. Yes, it’s precious, but isn’t it more of a waste to not enjoy it? Or owning expensive china but never taking it out to use it? Enjoy your possessions. That’s what makes then truly yours. Otherwise it’s just “stuff!”
I think this “Trash the Dress” phenomenon is just another way to waste money if you ask me.
The commenter who said that this is an example of how just out of hand weddings have gotten is right on.
Great discussion everyone!
Jess- enlighten me, how is wasting money? The dress has already been purchased. Are you also saying that the Millions of wedding dresses that have been sitting in closets around the world were also a waste of money? If that’s your logic, then what’s changed? What exactly has gotten out of hand? The fact that Brides want to enjoy their wedding experience and create some great memories?
Many photographers include the session for their clients at little or no cost.
If the dress gets donated to http://www.bridesagainstbreastcancer.com as we advocate, then it brings in additional revenue for a great organization.
I’m confused by your logic.
I think trashing the dress makes a mockery of the sweat shop labor of tiny little hands beading your gown. I think you should have to wear it every night to bed so that your husband knows that you totally cherish the vows you made on your wedding day. joking… I think I would cringe at totally ruining my dress but it would be nice to get more risky shots that I wouldn’t dare do when I had a 4 hour reception to sit through that wouldn’t totally ruin the dress. i am not sure if i will donate/sell or keep my dress. don’t have the money for the photography is the main reason i’m not “trashing the dress”…. oh and the fact that it is so popular right now that i think it will be one of those things ppl will talk smack about later on years from now
the fire one is photoshopped. because really, who in their right mind would pose while set on fire? exactly.
the idea of “trashing” the dress is pretty cool. considering that many a dress is “trashed” the day of [wine, food, makeup stains, dirt and in one case, car grease/grime] why would this be any different? depending on the type of fabric the dress is, it’ll probably be fine after a trip to the dry cleaners and ready to be preserved or donated or even altered into another dress. water and sand and even some mud will be fine.
like many things surrounding the wedding industry, one size does not fit all. if this isn’t for you, then fine. if it is, then fine. i honestly don’t see it detrimental to the symbol of my marriage [if you think about it, it's something you took off - the ring stays on; is the dress that strong of a symbol?]. we’ll have our rings for that. and our photo albums. maybe my future daughter might want to wear my dress but i’m not going to make that decision for her and keep it “just in case.” sometimes you just have to kick your heels up and live in the now.
would i do this? depending on the fabric of my dress and the cost [if it was too expensive then i'd just donate as is and not risk messing it up further], sure. it looks like a lot of fun and i’d love to roll around in the surf or even truck it through the city without a care in the world for some fabulous shots.
when else would i ever wear my dress again? that’s not something you can just casually pull out and wear grocery shopping like it’s your long lost favorite t-shirt. 
Mark Eric - I do like how of out of all of the other commenters you choose my comment to respond to.
Simply put, not ALL photographers add this service for free as you mentioned in your own post and “little” is subjective. That’s what I meant by wasting money — it’s another (unneeded) wedding expensive in most cases.
What has gotten out of hand when it comes to weddings is the sheer amount of money and extravagence that people waste for just one day. Now I know that it is someone’s perogative (sort of like when someone is expressing their opinion) but what ever happen to just the idea of a wedding being an event that showcases the love of a couple and the uniting of two families? It’s no wonder why brides suffer from withdrawals after spending a year planning a wedding.
I do see why you would be upset by my (not lonely) opinion. You make a living off of this.
When my wedding is over, it’s over. I’m not going to prolong the fantasy with a ‘trash the dress’ shoot. Life goes on.
ha ha- I don’t make a living off of trashing dresses, I assure you. I only picked up on your comment because it’s common. Many people judge the movement by the name alone. The term “trash the dress” is a buzz word. It’s a phrase that was coined to let Brides know that it’s ok to relax and have fun in the gown. Traditional pictures of the bride have been very up-tight, stiff, and pretty boring. The wedding is all about the Bride- even us men know that. TTD is just a chance for her to relax, have fun, and not worry about getting a few spots on her dress. In the process, she and her photographer/ videographer have the opportunity to create some great art! It’s really about Creation- not Destruction.
On the surface, I certainly understand how it would create misconceptions. I only want people to dig a little further before making accusations that hold no merit. (I’m not picking on you Jess- you’re just an easy target because you were the last post- I certainly appreciate your opinion)
No opinion on whether TTD is right or wrong, but the rationalization of “Show your commitment to your husband by trashing the dress so you can never use it again!!” is really kind of bogus, because, come on, how many second-time brides really want to wear the dresses they wore when they wedded their ex? There are way better reasons for TTD out there that its supporters should emphasize instead.
I knew I wanted to “Trash” my dress before I bought it, and possibly why I was content on picking my a gown up at Filene’s Basement for $250. I do love my dress, but honestly, I don’t think I was that picky about it. Personally, I’ve always have been in the camp that it’s just a dress, and I never could justify spending thousands of dollars on something I’d wear for 4 hours or less (I’ll be one of those Chinese brides that change 2x - though all my outfits will probably still be under 1K), but that’s me personally - I don’t judge other people that do. I’m pretty sure I’m spending extravagantly in other areas. As many others have commented, to each their own.
I was horrified to see the bride in flaming dress. I could just see long hair in fames…
red, shrivled scars on a lovely back…..Trash your dress if you want…but be careful girls….be careful.
I did a psuedo TTD (click on my name to see four pics in my blog). Honestly, in 97% of cases (I’m making that number up) the dress just isn’t trashed. Most cases, it’s nothing a good dry cleaning can’t handle.
This idea is all about taking gorgeous pictures. I semi-jokingly mentioned once that I cherish these artistic, stunning pictures more than the dress itself. My dress wasn’t uber expensive, so maybe this was just easy for me.
I love my dress, don’t get me wrong. But again, after half-way entering the ocean in Seattle my dress was almost cleaner than before! Black rim around the bottom–be gone!
I understand cherishing a dress but I like my photos more.
Oh, and it was also an easy decision because I heart my photog and it was free…as a lot of them are (so I’ve seen on the July 07 Knot message board).
I think all can be summed up in, to each his/her own.
And, for what it’s worth, I was thrilled with the wedding and how it was about our marriage–just today yet another guest told me how personal and sweet the whole wedding ceremony and reception was. That was probably the best compliment I could have received!
1) yes I think you’re missing the fun
2) it’s JUST a DRESS. The marriage is what’s important. No, you don’t throw away the ring, because a ring (it’s shape,metals, etc.) are symbolic of your union - a dress is not.
3) most TTD sessions leave a dress in dry clean-able condition that can still be donated.
4) I have a hard time believing that all of the girls saying it’s a waste really think that keeping it in a box is somehow less than a waste.
5) lighten up people, sheesh!
Oh, and Jess: relax already. you seem to have taken this waaaaay to seriously. and who says the amount of money i spend on my wedding isn’t to celebrate our love as you say? i’m not wanting to argue with you, but it’s helpful to realize that everyone has extremely different points of view and your expression of yours seems rather finger wagging. not so cool.
Ok, so I said before I didn’t have an opinion on this, I guess I still don’t, but sheesh, lighten up on Jess a little, people. If she sees this as yet another way that weddings have become industrialized and yet another thing that brides are adding to their lists of “Things I must do to keep up with the Jones’ wedding,” then that’s the way she sees it and I can see where she’s coming from. I can see TTDs as wonderful if the couple is into that, but also as a phenomena that could have the power to have brides feel browbeaten into “having” to do a TTD because that’s what everyone else is doing.
I’d say that if you have an incredibly expensive designer gown that trashing it seems a bit offensive to me, like destroying a work of art. On the other hand, I haven’t even cleaned my dress from our wedding in October, so it’s not like I’m exactly taking great care of it. Also, the wedding ring comment struck me as strange. I think there is a big difference between the dress and the ring. To me the dress represents the wedding, whereas the ring represents the marriage, so I don’t really see a comparison.
Personally, I think people are just looking for ways to keep the wedding hype going, so there isn’t a bit of a bubble-burst in the market. So many more show, magazines, and websites devoted to weddings than ever before, things have to be done to keep the interest up. Before trashing the dress it was boudoir photography, and before that there was something else.
I can not wait for my TTD session after the wedding. I agree this is not for everyone and some people would rather look at there gown in a box and remember the wedding day that way which is fine. However my fiance and I have decided to do the pictures here right around my house. Since we are having a Destination wedding where FI is from it gives us time to have wonderful photos right here where I have lived my whole life. I have a beautiful creek in front of my house we will be doing pictures in, a park right down the street that is also so pretty. We will also be doing picture at my elementary school and in the orchard behind my house. I can not wait to do this. I see no problem in taking a gown that I only payed 5% of the retail on and trashing it so I can get pictures that mean the world to me. It gives me the time to go have fun with my husband at that point and take pictures with things I have known and grown up with and playing in. I could never get the same sentimental shots like this at the wedding since the wedding is not here at home. I also agree with wsukarebear that these pictures mean more then that gown does to me. It is just a piece of fabric.
Also yes the fire picture is photoshopped. They took a picture of the bride in the gown, then a blow up doll in the gown and lit it on fire and photoshopped the two together. Ta Da bride on fire.
What is more wasteful? Keeping the dress in a closet forever; or getting it “trashed” and produce beautiful memorable photos in the process? What is more meaningful to you?
What a lot of people fail to remember is that there are lot more brides who preserve their dress and keep it (not donate) than those brides who “trash” them. So I don’t think I’ll be telling brides who want to TTD to donate their gown instead, if I won’t be telling those who are keeping them the same.
To me, a wedding dress is not important at all. So yes, I won’t compare a wedding dress to a ring. What I think is wasteful is to spend a lot on a wedding dress. I am buying an evening gown/bridesmaid dress for my wedding dress. That’s because it’s cheaper and I already found one that I think looks good on me. But I won’t be telling other brides what they need to do, coz it’s their wedding, not mine. To each his/her own.
I think spending money on photographs is just about the LEAST wasteful thing you can do when it comes to weddings. Lets forget about the dress for just one moment…these are photos…lasting memories, forever. Those are priceless. Flowers up the ying yang, favors that get thrown away, food that gets eaten, candels that get burned, etc. now that’s wasteful! How about a bit of perspective ladies. Would I want to set my dress on fire…probably not, and I got married in a $150 on sale dress from Davids Bridal, but who am I to judge anyone to decides to go the TTD route? Do any of you judge the bee who posts about the thousands of dollars she just spent on her beautiful blooms??? Anyone call her wasteful because not every bride can afford flowers like that??? We are a wasteful culture…that is our way…but we are wasteful in how we live our lives every single day, so all those who are on a pedestal look at how many lights are on in your house right now, how many miles you drive to work in your SUV, and the last time your donated your time to charity. Perspective…that’s all it takes. You don’t have to be the next to jump off the TTD bridge but you don’t have to be the one shaking your newly married ring finger at them either.
Griffin - I think that perhaps YOU should lay off Jess. She didn’t come off nearly as harsh as you did to her. All she wanted was to express her opinion. It looks like the only one wagging their finger is you.
By the way, my fiance is having a huge laugh at this “debate.”
I think people seem to be under the wrong impression when it comes to trash the dress sessions (of course calling it a trash session doesn’t help).
Trash sessions are just a chance to get the photos you couldn’t have done on wedding day without worrying about getting the dress dirty or a little wet. I could be something as extreme as the fire bride you pictured but it can also be something really tame like a pic of you and hubby cuddling in the flowers/grass or standing on a beach. How far you go is totally up to the bride. Sure the dress might get a stain or two or get wet but really most of the trash sessions I’ve participated in as a photographers assitant the dresses have been fine after a trip to the dry cleaners. After that brides can preserve them or send them to Brides against Breast Cancer. Remember ladies…its just fabric. It can be washed.
For me, I’m probably going to trash my dress to the fullest. Nothing as extreme as the fire but probably plenty of dirt since I want urban city kinda shots and a beach session. It’s custom made from a vintage 50s design so wouldn’t be desired in a bridal shop anyway. I’ll save a section of the fabric with the embroidery on it and frame with my wedding photo for my keepsake. Otherwise I have no use for it and I want to get my money’s worth. As an artist sticking only with the formal “insert bride and groom here” just isn’t enough. I want our personalities to show up in our wedding pictures too.
I contacted Brides for Breastcancer and they told me they recieve dirty dresses all the time (perhaps your tipsy uncle spilled his wine down the front or you stepped on the hem and ripped it). They are pros at cleaning/repairing them and salvaging whatever they can. Sometimes she said they will take non-ruined portions and make flower girl dresses or will recycle the beading and things to repair other dresses. If its a all white dress they may dye it cream to cover some minor stains. They are pretty close to genius in there. The rep I talked to said they would love to have my dress…even post trash session lol.
The first picture of the underwater bride is NOT a trash the dress shot at all. Sara Wall happened to be my wedding photographer and she does tons of underwater shots for the artistry. She asked if I’d do underwater shots with my dress and I was honored but (1) I didn’t have the time - she’s in Kauai Hawaii (2) I can’t open my eyes underwater. Sara’s underwater shots are taken in a saline pool and would not trash any dress that if you tried.
Well, I understand how people can be split 50/50 on this, and respect everyone’s opinions, but I am personally offended at the comment that Trashing Your Dress is just another wastefull wedding espense, yadda yadda. I got married in 2004 on a budget of $1500. I found my $3000 dress on CLEARANCE for $300 and even then it was way out of my budget and was my one extravagance (we served mini sandwiches from costco to a crown of 75) and I “hired” 2 family friends to take photos, NONE of which came out. I literally have no pictures from my wedding. So when the Trash The Dress thing came up, I was so excited. We still don’t have a lot of money, so I found a photographer to do it for very little to build up her portfolio.
The results were STUNNING and I am sooo happy I did it. Both my husband and I participated and it was an amazing and romantic experience for the both of us and brought us back to our wedding day. And my dress is not anywhere near trashed and if I wish to donate it, I can!
You can check out a slideshow of our shots here:
http://www.xpressionsbymichelle.com/TTD/
Traci….those are beautiful! I’m glad you have some examples of a more typical trash session. Those photos probably couldn’t have happened on wedding day
1. because the hem of the dress would get kinda grubby and show up in pictures
2. I don’t know about you but we have several places we want to do our trashing at like the zoo and Cedar Park (like a Six Flags but much better). There is no way we would have been able to do the pics in the fun locations without making our poor guests wait hours for us to finish. This way there’s no pressure to hurry up and get the perfect shot.
My fav. is the one of you in front of the graffiti wall, it’s on my list of pics to take
I haven’t been on Weddingbee for very long but I have never seen soooo many comments on just one entry like this before. Geez, who cares? Everyone has an opinion on this. If they want do it - fine. If they don’t want to do it - fine. Preserve your dress - fine. Think it’s wasteful - fine. Stop taking everything so personally. Nobody knows you why the heck would you get offended over something tat’s written online, anonymously and doesn’t affect you directly?
The person who said their fiance is laughing at this is not alone. I’m slightly embarassed.
What a great concept! Perfect for all those brides who wnat to trash that cheap not-well-made Davids Bridal gown. Now the trend has also grown to include high school seniors who wish to “trash” their prom gowns. How empowering!
Also, most gowns now are 100% poly, so they can get wet w/o being ruined forever. Mud? well, that’s a different story.
Hey! For all you girls who feel “Trashing your Dress” is just not for you here’s a great ideal for your wedding dress. Besides donating it to a good cause which of course is always great - if you are interested in saving your dress in some form how about using the material of your dress for your 1st child’s Baptism gown. Someone with sewing talents could turn your gown into a beautiful Baptism gown that could be passed down for generations. Of course, you can always book a Trash the Dress session and get those one of a kind pics. It’s your choice.
jamie - High school seniors trash their dresses too? I have never heard of that.
Yes Norcalbruin you can view some examples on http://www.drownthegown.com it’s a TON of fun! My husband and I have one of our sessions on there with 2 senior girls. Now we have a whole list of girls interested in doing it!
As a photographer, I’ve been looking for a bride willing to take the dress out and have some fun with it. Matter of fact, I have made the offer to do the first 3 sessions booked for free (no session fee, unless there is travel involved), but I’m still waiting for takers. Anyone? 
(Galveston is an easy option for me! LOL!)
For those that think the fire one is photoshopped - it isn’t. That photographer is well known for his crazy photographs.
And while it isn’t a trend for everyone, for those that one creative, editorial photographs in their gown, it is a great option. I would never set a dress on fire, as it isn’t my style as a photographer, but I would definitely seek out unique, fun, exciting places to get the best shots possible in! Nothing that the dry-cleaner couldn’t take care of, unless the bride wanted to be so daring!
I did morning-after photos on the beach after my wedding - I didn’t want sand in my dress beforehand, but afterwards? Why not! Those are some of my favorite photographs too - I’m soooo glad I went the extra mile and hired my photographer for that day to do them!
Hey Christine, good luck finding someone to do a session, they are a TON of fun.
But I did want to correct you about the fire photo being photoshoped. It is actually photoshoped. JMC did a tutorial of how to do it even on simple photo minute. My husband did a session like this with one of our senior guy portraits last spring. You can view the Alt-F inspired photo in our gallery and on our blog. And I assure you no one was burned during the session
oops sorry, that was my post above, not Christine, I was replying to Christine, and accidentally typed her name in the box, sorry for any confusion. *blush*
I think it would be interesting to know the average age of the ladies commenting on this site. Oh, and also how many times some have been married or if they have been married at all.
I know that is pretty personal information, but I think it would be enlightening regarding the tone and attitude behind some of the comments made.
Live and let live is my motto. Compared to my sister’s wedding pics taken in 1982 and the pics today…how much more beautiful these pics are than all those old ones with candles sticking up out of the top of heads and 100 people in the background of a couple’s pic, just to name a few. Not to mention, grainy, grainy, grainy photos with dull colors.
I think the burning dress is one of very few extremes, but it’s typical that people would freak over one out of a million fabulous others, not to say that one is not pretty cool itself.
To each their own.
Maybe those complaining of wastefulness should not buy wedding dresses at all? The tradition itself is wasteful–a dress so impractical that it’s made to be worn just once, as a display of how much money your family could had to waste.
actually the one on fire is photoshopped. jmc of alt-f is the famous guy behind that photo. super talented and a cool guy. he posted a video about doing that shot.
http://www.cutframetv.com/view_video.php?viewkey=75530d9583c34fd356ef
I really, really love wedding dresses!
I think it is the most beautiful thing to wear.
But I also think that it would be so much fun trashing lovely, silky dream dress. And not just swimming in a pool… I think about something like taking some siccors and cutting it to shreds or burn it and stuff like that! You can feel free while destroying something beautiful like a wedding dress.
The important thing is that it’s just material and you don’t hurt anybody! Spending out a few hundred dollars for a dress and than totally ruin it in a few minutes, that’s just my problem.
I think TTD is a great thing and I love the pictures!
My sister just did a trash the dress shoot with http://www.chicagotrashthedress.com and the images are amazing. they are giving away a few free shoots and mine is booked for next summer. LOVE the idea. Allison
If anyone wants to see my sisters Chicago trash the dress photo shoot images they are up at http://www.chicagotrashthedress.com. The pictures were shot on the beach and the dress cleaned up almost spotless and she is going to have it professionally dry cleaned and sell it. Nobody would have a clue as to the wild history of the dress.
[...] all of the stir about the “Trash the Dress” phenomenon here on WeddingBee, I was a bit scared to post [...]
trash the dress is so great!!
take a look at this: http://www.trashyourdress.de
it also reached germany!
Let me know what you think You can us my E-mail add on the net, it as ok.
It is all in the sake of Art…. I’d say do it, do it, do it… you can’t take that damn dress with you when you die….. the photos are expression and beauty and a way to let go and be creative!!! be free!!! have fun, loosen up……… it’s just a dress for god’s sake…..
My business, Richard Soukup Photography, does these photos and love doing them. AT THE SAME TIME, it is not everyone’s cup o’ tea!
There are four reasons we do this type of shot every once in a while:
1. Because we can. Too many photogs in our area do the same old images with the same old poses, in the same old locations….not what I THINK GOOD HARD EARNED MONEY NEEDS TO BE PAYING FOR!
2. A somewhat bizarre sense of humor in my part.
3. For fun…I am convinced that something called fun got separated away from getting great images taken of yourself and your family.
4. If it gives you an idea for an image that you thought could not be pulled off and you carry through with it and it comes out fantastic and different, then we have accomplished our goal!!
We also push and promote a program in our area that does recycle prom dresses and makes them available to those girls who may not be able to afford them!
Indeed, several of the prom dress images we have done did not harm the dresses involved one bit. In the case of the wedding gown we bought to use as a demonstration of the concept, my local dry cleaner got it back to 95% clean. This dress was subjected to smoke, brake fluid, motor oil, axle grease and six inches of mud in a junkyard.
Our images are posted at http://www.richardsoukup.com. Comments always welcome, even if you don’t agree with us!
Let me get this straight; women spend their entire lives dreaming about their wedding day. They’re literally brainwashed by the media about the prince and princess stories at an early age and many begin planning their weddings before they hit their teens. Then, once they do get engaged, they often spend a year or more finding the ‘right’ dress with multiple fittings and tailoring done to get everything just right for the big day. Following that, and once the hoopla is over, they destroy all of that work they began at a pre-teen age by trashing the dress?
Personally, I think this is the dumbest and lamest concept in contemporary weddings. This is merely another marketing tactic wedding planners, wedding dress makers and wedding photographers are using to further suck the dollars out of a couples budget. Thank goodness my wife didn’t do this in our wedding; then again my wife is intelligent, has common sense and lots of couth.
The flaming dress is about as far as one can go with a TtD session. Mrs. Peppermint mentions “But completely destroying it seems a bit hypocritical, too. You don’t destroy the wedding band after you say your vows.” but let’s not forget that the husband is RENTING his clothes for a wedding. No hypocrisy here or there. It’s all in the eye of the beholder…..BTW readers…how much did you (or will you) spend on the flowers in a wedding? Those don’t last either. The original intent of TtD is to put the dresses in extrordinary locations…NOT destroying the dresses. Some of us take the TtD sessions literally and we enjoy it.
I took a knife and started ripping my dress to shreds out of a fitted rage because my wedding sucked and chose to not keep the dress and it made feel so damn good. I was married in las vegas and there is something terriably wrong with standing in a smokey casino and know one gives a shit about you. Its not romantic i did not feel like a bride. I love to have a redo but i dont get one. I will get over it i just dont KNOW when.
and no it’s not just a dress it’s THEE dress you chose to change your name in and to be given away in to the man you plan to commit to and make a life with. So no, to me it’s not just a dress it’s an emotional attachment and that dress should be cherrished as this was a day i commit to my one and only. I love my babes but damn i would love to have a redo for the wedding. Thats your one and only day before you become the misses. It should be celebrated with happiness and romance it should be your favorite day. dang, i wish i could have done things differently.
i just got married on 3-17-09 at mon bel ami its under karas if you want to veiw it. Only 3 days left of it and my dress is in the dumpster. i am happy for my precious vows but i contradict my self about the whole wedding day.
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Miss Peppermint, LA/Palm Springs
Age and Occupation: 23, Actress
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 24, Web Producer
Engagement Date: October 21, 2006
Wedding Date: December 2007
Blogging Since: July 2, 2007
Venue: historic estate overlooking the heart of Palm Springs
About Me: I am a Southern California native who enjoys cooking, writing, travel and all things in the arts. Mr. Peppermint and I met in college and he proposed on our four year anniversary in one of our most special places, Joshua Tree National Park. We're having a destination wedding in Palms Springs that will incorporate tradition as well as reflect our personalities!
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