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Mrs. Gummi Bear, San Francisco Age and Occupation: 25, Japanese Importer/Illustrator Fiance's Age and Occupation: 24, Game Developer/Programmer Engagement Date: April 15, 2006 Wedding Date: October 13, 2007 Blogging Since: June 19, 2007 Venue: Organic farm an hour from San Francisco About Me: I live for anthropologie, design blogs, sweets, japanese zakka, and vintage goods. We just bought our first home together and live with our two puppies and cat - it's a strange mixture of vintage, high-tech (we have 7 computers and 21 video game systems in all), and a whole lot of fur. Our wedding tries to embody the Japanese idea of "slow life", which is truly taking the time to enjoy food, company, and your environment!
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Guilt Complex

August 3rd, 2007 @ 5:29 pm by Mrs. Gummi Bear

All this misery about bad bakers and the demon of alterations left me with a sour taste in my mouth about those kinds of vendors who prey on brides. I was feeling angry and disgusted with the bridal industry and felt a stomping tantrum coming on when I got a call yesterday from Jin Wang. She called to give me an update on my Thomas Knoell pin and I took the chance of asking her about a bridal gown alteration place she could recommend. Even though I didn’t buy a gown from her, and at that point had not even bought the pin, she expressed sympathy for my current dilemma and immediately gave me the name of the woman she recommends to all her brides that come through her salon. Jin has been nothing short of sweet and awesome, so I booked an appointment and renewed my faith in bridal salons.

Vendors affect me so much it’s ridiculous. I always get a little nervous when thinking about our venue, or like my anxiety is melting like ice cream when I speak with our coordinator. I really appreciate the people who are working to bring my wedding vision together, even if I am paying them. Last time we were in Tokyo, I brought back tons of magazines for my vendors, hard to find books, and Pierre Herme macaroons. I just cannot thank them enough for what they’re doing for me - probably because I’m also really too shy to say anything and just poke Mr. GB in the back. Seriously, I have a notepad where I write everything I want to discuss and make him study it in the car before we get out because I never have the courage to speak. Insane? Yes. But I’m slightly less insane than Mr. GB is patient!

Just to tell some of my vendors how lucky I feel to have them share my wedding with me, I bought them presents from Japan.

Guilt Complex :  wedding san francisco 99938401 9993840

Am I crazy for doing this? Does anyone else feel like they owe their souls to the good people who are helping them put this all together, or am I the only one who feels guilty for asking people to do something for me… even if it’s their job?

Oh, and the ML gown has been removed from the clutches of horror woman. No matter what I decide to do, I didn’t want to have it altered there, so no point in leaving it at the salon of evil!

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12 Responses to “Guilt Complex”

1.
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ladybride

I feel that way too. But you are very nice to buy them a gift

 
2.
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aoedorothee

wow, looks pretty, but what are they? vases?

 
3.
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Laura S

I’m the same way, very swayed by vendors. I actually almost booked a venue I hated because I loved the guy who worked there so much, until my fiance knocked some sense into me.

I almost ended up giving up our first choice venue because the food & beverage director (who was initially appointed as our coordinator) was so horrid to work with, but we were rescued from his clutches by his *wonderful* staff member who is now our coordinator. I love him. I also love our photographer so much we didn’t even interview anyone else. Some might say that’s dumb, but I say wait till you see our photos :)

 
4.
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Melanie

You might just be ahead, because they will think of you extra fondly and might even throw in some freebies or at least be extra attentive of your calls and requests.

 
5.
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Cindy

you are VERY nice to get them gifts!

but i got that semi feeling yesterday after trying on dresses.

 
6.
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thea

i think it’s a good idea actually. even tho we are paying for their services, it never hurts to be a little extra nice. like melanie said, they will remember that and continue to be helpful and nice b/c you were nice to them and maybe they will throw in something extra themselves. i don’t know if i’ll be able to afford buying my vendors gifts, but maybe i’ll bake cookies for the extra nice ones. :)

 
7.
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M&M

you’re so sweet!

 
8.
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Shannon

If it makes you happy, and it surely makes them happy to receive such thoughtful gifts, then what could be the harm? I think it is a sweet gesture.

 
9.
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BoooOctober

you are truly one of a kind. You have a kind heart and more likely a good person too. I bet it is the way you are brought up that makes you the way you are.

I luv gifts i just wish I was one of your vendors and received your gifts :) (feeling greedy )

 
10.
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2ingkos

I think it’s very sweet and thoughtful of you to bring them gifts all the way from Japan. It’s always great to see people doing nice things for others. I get so grateful and touched when someone does something nice for us or goes out of their way for us. I always make sure I let them know how much I appreciate their gestures. I’m like you in that I don’t speak up as much as I should and I hate confrontations so sometimes I feel like I get taken advantage of. Thank goodness my hubby takes care of ‘tough’ stuff with contractors, etc. Love, love, love the pitchers and glasses. They’d be great as bedside carafe/glass or for nice brunch! I wish I was one of your vendors. :)

 
11.
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bethgraced

I know what you mean… I love my caterer. I feel like I could never repay them for the amazing service they’re giving us. They’ve given me so much help and advice, I’d get them a gift, too, if I knew what to get them!

 
12.
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Aliya

My husband (husband!) and I got married this past Saturday, and we were SO LUCKY to have the best vendors EVER — particularly our florist/DOC and photographer. I’m totally sending them gifts b/c I adore them so much. I don’t think this is weird at all — their easy-to-work-with demeanors made our big day (and the days leading up to it) just amazing.

 

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Mrs. Gummi Bear
Mrs. Gummi Bear

Mrs. Gummi Bear, San Francisco Age and Occupation: 25, Japanese Importer/Illustrator Fiance's Age and Occupation: 24, Game Developer/Programmer Engagement Date: April 15, 2006 Wedding Date: October 13, 2007 Blogging Since: June 19, 2007 Venue: Organic farm an hour from San Francisco About Me: I live for anthropologie, design blogs, sweets, japanese zakka, and vintage goods. We just bought our first home together and live with our two puppies and cat - it's a strange mixture of vintage, high-tech (we have 7 computers and 21 video game systems in all), and a whole lot of fur. Our wedding tries to embody the Japanese idea of "slow life", which is truly taking the time to enjoy food, company, and your environment!

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