Weddingbee

It’s my pleasure to introduce you to my dad’s fiancée and the newest member of your hive, Miss Petunia, and tell you how she chose this name. After all, it’s not like she’s using petunias in her wedding flower arrangements. She’s not even that into the color purple! She kept going on and on about how any other new Bee would die to be Miss Peony, but not her: she knew the petunia was the flower for her!

You see, my dad and Miss Petunia love to tell me all about my parentage. They claim my biological doggie parents were named Frederick Gustaf Jones and Petunia Eliza Bonn, both from fine Schnauzer families. They even helped me ghostwrite the first chapter of my autobiography and then posted it on their refrigerator.

Of course, I know the story is hogwash and their English accent fake, but hey, I humor them. I realize it’s more likely that my doggie parents were named Fido and Lady or something along those lines, but making up odd stories about dogs and who knows what else is just how they are.

They spend all their time playing games, walking around the house singing silly fictitious songs and calling each other cute and outrageous names they invent out of thin air. In short, they’re both a little bit crazy and a lot bit crazy in love.

This is how they’ve been from day one since they started out together two years ago or so. Plus, they knew each other from two years before then, so they’re making up for lost time. (No kidding: they moved in together after just dating for a month or two!). They met down here in hot hot hot Florida, though my dad is a transplant from Denver, Colorado and Miss Petunia was born in Madrid, Spain (she’s lived here for over 20 years now though!). The weather (and the real estate market) is killing all of us, so we’re thinking we’d all like to move to Colorado once my dad is done with school.

For right now, I’m just hoping their wedding will be lovely! They’ve chosen a charming location down by the river in downtown Fort Lauderdale, and will say their I Do’s in an outside ceremony and celebrate with a brunch reception afterward. They come from two very different backgrounds, so it should be interesting to see how my dad’s American family and Miss Petunia’s Hispanic one come together as one, and how they’ll be able to include traditional aspects with fun ones. I myself am a little on the yappy side, so I haven’t been invited to the actual wedding, but I’m sure when they come back from their honeymoon in Paris, they’ll play cuddle monkeys with me and show me loads of pictures.

In short, Miss Petunia came to be Miss Petunia by naming herself after my fake real mom’s name, because come March, she’ll not only become my daddy’s wife, but she’ll also officially become my momma, and the three of us will call ourselves a family. As for right now, she’s just terribly excited to be a Bee!

Sincerely,

Niles Archibald Jones

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