Weddingbee Blog

For the wedding I will be in in a few months, our dresses were about $170 pre-alterations, mine won’t need altering, but the shop estimated about 30-50 for the alterations we may need. We are each pitching in $50 for the bachelorette party and (luckily) her family is throwing her a shower, which shouldn’t cost us anything. We each also need to buy a pair of silver heels, any style and any budget. I live in MN, which (in my experience…) seems to have a slightly lower “average” then a lot of places! I don’t think $200 for a dress is terrible, but in my mind, that’s the top of the line to ask from the girls…

I am in a wedding this weekend…and the way I am, this is the 7th wedding I’ve been in (NOT including my own) so I understand the costs and think it’s worth it for the bride & groom (in all but one case).

This weekend, I’m wearing shoes I already own (we were allowed to pick), am getting my hair did (50 dollars), doing own make-up, paid 150 for the dress and 50 for alterations–and this is in Washington so I’m sure it’s more spendy, elsewhere. Oh, and the 100 dollars for gas (traveling 6 hours) and 300 for hotel for my husband and me. So, it’s a lot! Oh, and the gift (which I don’t count as part of the participation expense) is 100 dollars…

Just remember, anything you REQUIRE them to do, you should foot the bill–especially in regards to hair and make-up. But, I’ve always had flexible brides and have paid for everything myself. In Women’s Health magazine this month, they said the average bridesmaid pays 1,500 dollars to be in a wedding!

Your friends probably understand and I think you should fpcus your energy into getting them nice gifts, or pampering them the day befoer the wedding.

I don’t think that $200 is unreasonable at all! Since my bridesmaids are either in college or grad school, we were aiming at $150 pre-alterations. In fact, we chose a simple tea-length wrap dress that didn’t need any alterations at all luckily! It came out to be $125ish from houseofbrides.com. My mom and FMIL are throwing the shower, so it spares the bridesmaids the cost! The shoes we got at DSW on sale for $25. As for travel, just the cost of gas as my parents rented a condo for us all to stay at for a few days before the wedding.

WEDDING 1:
dress: $140
alterations: $35
bach. weekend getaway: $125
shoes: $35 (jewelry was paid for)
nails: $40 (didn’t have my hair done)
travel/hotel/food: $200 (this is my half; split it w/my husband who was also in the wedding)
TOTAL: $575

WEDDING 2:
dress: $180
alterations: $65
shoes: already had; jewelry paid for
nails: $60 (didn’t have hair done)
travel/hotel/food: $100
TOTAL: $405

I realize that I got off REALLY easy on both of these. Now let’s think about the BMs who were in my wedding: each paid between $80-$130 for dresses (depending on the style). I paid for jewelry. They were able to do whatever they wanted with nails, hair, shoes (if they wanted to have hair done it was $30). No one paid for a shower, but travel hit them the hardest: five of the seven had to fly to our location and stay two nights in a hotel (although everyone did end up sharing a room). Yikes!

The last time I was a bridesmaid, I paid around $160 for the dress + $30 for alterations + ~$60 for shoes. As I was picking the dress I wanted my bridesmaids to wear, I was very aware of the feeling I had when I had to shell out a bunch of money for my bridesmaid dress. The dress I chose was close to $200 (plus ~$50 for shoes), but I made sure to ask each bridesmaid if they felt comfortable with that price before going ahead with choosing it. The good thing is, I know they are all able to afford it at this point in their lives, but I’m going to make them jewelry, pay for their hair styling, and get them gifts too.
Have you asked your bridesmaids if they are ok with the price? (I would ask them individually.) If they are tight on money, maybe you could find a way to help them out?

i live in LA and i really didn’ twant the girls to pay for anything for my wedding. i purchased the material for the dresses when i was in the philippines (shantung silk dupioni for about $2 per yeard!) but still, the seamstress is charging $100 to do each of the dresses. i know this is still less than “average” out there, but my girls’ maxes were about $150.

i’m planning to pay for their mani/pedi, but they’ll have to also pay for their own hair and makeup for the day of. i wish i was able to make it so that they didn’t have to pay so much because i, too, feel guilty. but i just can’t afford it. i’m giving them all pretty nice gifts to make up for it though: day at glen ivy spa (it’s like a spa amusement park), and a bunch of little items…

I also am feeling the guilt — dresses are just over $200. But the MOH picked it. I am not requiring specific shoes and here will be no hair/make-up/jewelry expenses. Other weddings I’ve been in have had cheaper dresses — but more “required” extras (hair, make-up, shoes). So it all evens out. Right?

I am in a wedding this month and here are my costs: $170 for dress; $110 for alterations; and $60 for shoes. I wasn’t able to attend the shower, but I sent a gift that was about $50. Since the MOH lives out of state, and the other BM has a very tight budget, I picked up the cost of the bachelorette party which came to about $100 (but we’re all pretty low key — nothing raucous!). The wedding itself is in PA (and I am in MD), so I will be staying two nights at the hotel for a cost of $125 per night (not including state/county/city tax) plus the cost of gas. Day of, I would have had to pay for my own hair and makeup, but I’ll do my own. I *did* go to a cosmetic counter and buy (unfortunately) about $280 of stuff. I don’t usually wear makeup, so this will last me for quite some time! The total amount I will have spent for this shindig based on the numbers above is an estimated $1,020.

The fact that you are being considerate is wonderful. I was recently in a wedding and only spent $195 on the dress plus $30 for alterations and $30 for shoes. However I must have spent over $1000 on the shower, bachlorette party, hotel for two nights, gft, etc. etc. So even though you can find a dress for a decent price, take into consideration all the other bajillion things your BM’s will have to shell out money for. The best BM gift is to not be a bride with crazy high expectations and make sure to thank them for everything they do!

I have been in 4 weddings in the last 5 years and there has been a huge range in how much I contributed. It really depends on the couple, the distance you have to travel, if you’re staying in a more expensive hotel, etc. You can’t really compare because each situation is different, but here are two of my scenarios to help put things in perspective.

I was the MOH in my best friend’s wedding in a Philly suburb, and our dresses with her DB discount were only about $130 — but that was very lucky! I also spent another $30 to have it hemmed, $35 or so on shoes, and I paid about $65 total to have my hair and makeup done (by my own choice — she said we could do whatever we wanted). The reception was down the street from my house so I walked home and didn’t need a hotel, and between her bachelorette and shower, I probably spent $250 or so (plus lots of time!). She also had 7 BMs total, so that minimized individual cost. That’s a total of $480, which I think is quite reasonable (plus as her MOH I chipped in a bit more than everyone else for the shower and Bachelorette).

On the flip side, I was in an NYC wedding where the dress was about $230, minimal alterations were another $40, and the shoes (of my picking) were $27 on sale. I paid for my hair and makeup, about $140 total, and paid $220 a night for a hotel room. The shower split between only 3 BMs was $335 each, plus $80 or so for a low-key bachelorette dinner and drinks out. My mom took care of my transportation costs from Philly to NYC since it was a family wedding and several of us traveled together by van. That’s a total of $1072 if you’re only counting one night in the hotel (I stayed for a few nights but that was my own choice).

For neither of these weddings did I feel like anything was outrageous — each final tally was a pretty accurate reflection of the geographical location of the wedding and many other factors. When your girls sign on to be BMs, they know that money is involved. I don’t think $200 for a dress is unreasonable, but if you’re concerned, see if you can find a better price at another boutique or cover the cost of their shoes/jewelry/alterations if you can. Also see if you can get a discount at your dress boutique if you’re ordering 5 or more dresses (sweet talking can work wonders!). Good luck!