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Open Question: Bridesmaids Budgets
August 8th, 2007 @ 3:06 pm by Open Question
Recently I’ve been feeling very guilty about the cost of my bridesmaid dresses ($200 before alterations), and fear that I am asking my ladies to do too much. I would love to create a bridesmaid budget and stick with it. With that said, for those of you who have been in weddings before, how much have you paid for bridesmaid dresses and how much did you spend in total as part of the wedding party?
I’d really appreciate if you could share the cost of attire, events, and travel in your total. Thanks!
-Fallon
56 Responses to “Open Question: Bridesmaids Budgets”
For the wedding I will be in in a few months, our dresses were about $170 pre-alterations, mine won’t need altering, but the shop estimated about 30-50 for the alterations we may need. We are each pitching in $50 for the bachelorette party and (luckily) her family is throwing her a shower, which shouldn’t cost us anything. We each also need to buy a pair of silver heels, any style and any budget. I live in MN, which (in my experience…) seems to have a slightly lower “average” then a lot of places! I don’t think $200 for a dress is terrible, but in my mind, that’s the top of the line to ask from the girls…
I am in a wedding and the dresses are from White House Black Market, so about $150. No alterations needed for anyone. We can wear our own black heels so that cut down on cost. Hair/Nails = about $100. We haven’t planned the shower yet but that will be another expense.
I am in a wedding this weekend…and the way I am, this is the 7th wedding I’ve been in (NOT including my own) so I understand the costs and think it’s worth it for the bride & groom (in all but one case). 
This weekend, I’m wearing shoes I already own (we were allowed to pick), am getting my hair did (50 dollars), doing own make-up, paid 150 for the dress and 50 for alterations–and this is in Washington so I’m sure it’s more spendy, elsewhere. Oh, and the 100 dollars for gas (traveling 6 hours) and 300 for hotel for my husband and me. So, it’s a lot! Oh, and the gift (which I don’t count as part of the participation expense) is 100 dollars…
Just remember, anything you REQUIRE them to do, you should foot the bill–especially in regards to hair and make-up. But, I’ve always had flexible brides and have paid for everything myself. In Women’s Health magazine this month, they said the average bridesmaid pays 1,500 dollars to be in a wedding!
Your friends probably understand and I think you should fpcus your energy into getting them nice gifts, or pampering them the day befoer the wedding.
I somewhat retract what I said about whatever’s required should be covered by the bride…I guess most of us require “X” dress and don’t pay. As a BM, I’ve always paid for the dress. 200 is not outlandish to me, either!
Another suggestion if you’re feeling guilty, DO pay for their shoes or for 50 dollars of the dresses or something. I know I wasn’t able to do so. In our circle, when you agree to a wedding you just know you’re in it with the money.
I don’t think that $200 is unreasonable at all! Since my bridesmaids are either in college or grad school, we were aiming at $150 pre-alterations. In fact, we chose a simple tea-length wrap dress that didn’t need any alterations at all luckily! It came out to be $125ish from houseofbrides.com. My mom and FMIL are throwing the shower, so it spares the bridesmaids the cost! The shoes we got at DSW on sale for $25. As for travel, just the cost of gas as my parents rented a condo for us all to stay at for a few days before the wedding.
I was in a wedding a few months ago and after tallying up all the costs, including traveling to the wedding (it was destination), I spent about $2500 to be her bridesmaid. She’ll be mine later in the year and I wouldn’t dream of asking her to spend anything close to that.
WEDDING 1:
dress: $140
alterations: $35
bach. weekend getaway: $125
shoes: $35 (jewelry was paid for)
nails: $40 (didn’t have my hair done)
travel/hotel/food: $200 (this is my half; split it w/my husband who was also in the wedding)
TOTAL: $575
WEDDING 2:
dress: $180
alterations: $65
shoes: already had; jewelry paid for
nails: $60 (didn’t have hair done)
travel/hotel/food: $100
TOTAL: $405
I realize that I got off REALLY easy on both of these. Now let’s think about the BMs who were in my wedding: each paid between $80-$130 for dresses (depending on the style). I paid for jewelry. They were able to do whatever they wanted with nails, hair, shoes (if they wanted to have hair done it was $30). No one paid for a shower, but travel hit them the hardest: five of the seven had to fly to our location and stay two nights in a hotel (although everyone did end up sharing a room). Yikes!
I was MOH in my sister’s wedding, and our dresses cost ~$400, but we only had to pay half that because they came in THE NIGHT BEFORE the wedding (:S!)
Because I was family, that’s pretty much all I paid. My mother paid for my sister and I to get our hair and makeup done. Oh, and I bought $40 shoes (she said to get anything in silver)
The other bridal party members had the option of getting their hair and makeup done too, but they had to pay for it themselves (they both opted to at probably $65 each, give or take) I think that bridesmaids enter into their role knowing that it will cost money. If you are in a position to help out financially, I’m sure it would be appreciated, but it is in no way expected.
The last time I was a bridesmaid, I paid around $160 for the dress + $30 for alterations + ~$60 for shoes. As I was picking the dress I wanted my bridesmaids to wear, I was very aware of the feeling I had when I had to shell out a bunch of money for my bridesmaid dress. The dress I chose was close to $200 (plus ~$50 for shoes), but I made sure to ask each bridesmaid if they felt comfortable with that price before going ahead with choosing it. The good thing is, I know they are all able to afford it at this point in their lives, but I’m going to make them jewelry, pay for their hair styling, and get them gifts too.
Have you asked your bridesmaids if they are ok with the price? (I would ask them individually.) If they are tight on money, maybe you could find a way to help them out?
I’ve been in a total of 5 weddings as bridemaid/MOH/best woman, and spent anywhere from $150 for a local wedding with no showers to $2500 to travel to a wedding, spend $200 on dress plus alterations, throw the shower and bachelorette party, hair, makeup, nails, and gifts for the couple.
For my own wedding, I decided that if we were to have a wedding party (and we finally decided to), because everyone is traveling to be in the wedding, the bridesmaids could wear their choice of black cocktail attire - that way, they can choose something they like and feel comfortable in, and it will be something they’re more likely to wear again.
I’m not requiring anyone to do their hair, nails, or makeup professionally — but I’ve made it available if they wanted to spend the money (and sent out the cost information/logistics).
i live in LA and i really didn’ twant the girls to pay for anything for my wedding. i purchased the material for the dresses when i was in the philippines (shantung silk dupioni for about $2 per yeard!) but still, the seamstress is charging $100 to do each of the dresses. i know this is still less than “average” out there, but my girls’ maxes were about $150.
i’m planning to pay for their mani/pedi, but they’ll have to also pay for their own hair and makeup for the day of. i wish i was able to make it so that they didn’t have to pay so much because i, too, feel guilty. but i just can’t afford it. i’m giving them all pretty nice gifts to make up for it though: day at glen ivy spa (it’s like a spa amusement park), and a bunch of little items…
oh and i asked the bridesmaids to do the shower as a wedding shower for my FI and I, so that the groomsmen can also help pitch in with the costs of the party. i’m hoping it only is costing them $100 each.
I also am feeling the guilt — dresses are just over $200. But the MOH picked it. I am not requiring specific shoes and here will be no hair/make-up/jewelry expenses. Other weddings I’ve been in have had cheaper dresses — but more “required” extras (hair, make-up, shoes). So it all evens out. Right?
three weddings:
1. $0 - dress, hair, shoes paid for by a very generous bride 
2. $140 for store-bought dress (which i WOULD wear to another occasion); $40 for alterations; $0 for shoes (we could wear any); $0 for hair and makeup; $125 for travel to bridal shower; $100 for bridal shower costs per bridesmaid
3. $125 for custom-made dress (which i WOULDNT wear to another occasion, ha); $35 for alterations; $0 for shoes (we could wear any); $0 for hair and makeup…the bride asked her girls not to get them a wedding gift (though we did anyway) because we were paying for our own dresses and such
I am in a wedding this month and here are my costs: $170 for dress; $110 for alterations; and $60 for shoes. I wasn’t able to attend the shower, but I sent a gift that was about $50. Since the MOH lives out of state, and the other BM has a very tight budget, I picked up the cost of the bachelorette party which came to about $100 (but we’re all pretty low key — nothing raucous!). The wedding itself is in PA (and I am in MD), so I will be staying two nights at the hotel for a cost of $125 per night (not including state/county/city tax) plus the cost of gas. Day of, I would have had to pay for my own hair and makeup, but I’ll do my own. I *did* go to a cosmetic counter and buy (unfortunately) about $280 of stuff. I don’t usually wear makeup, so this will last me for quite some time! The total amount I will have spent for this shindig based on the numbers above is an estimated $1,020.
I’m paying for the bridesmaids’ dresses and FI is taking care of his guys. I have to admit that my girls were shocked when they found out I was covering the dresses. I’ve never been in a wedding so I don’t know how much others spend on BM dresses.
They’re paying for their own hair & make up though. I’m not requiring them to do their hair/make up certain way. I’m leaving it up to them.
The fact that you are being considerate is wonderful. I was recently in a wedding and only spent $195 on the dress plus $30 for alterations and $30 for shoes. However I must have spent over $1000 on the shower, bachlorette party, hotel for two nights, gft, etc. etc. So even though you can find a dress for a decent price, take into consideration all the other bajillion things your BM’s will have to shell out money for. The best BM gift is to not be a bride with crazy high expectations and make sure to thank them for everything they do!
I’ve been in two weddings and in both, the brides paid for the bridesmaid attire. For my wedding, I am doing the same….I am paying for the dress and shoes, and will give them a necklace or pashmina to wear (my gift to them). i bought the dresses on sale at Anthropologie for $80…no alterations are necessary so far…
I have been in 4 weddings in the last 5 years and there has been a huge range in how much I contributed. It really depends on the couple, the distance you have to travel, if you’re staying in a more expensive hotel, etc. You can’t really compare because each situation is different, but here are two of my scenarios to help put things in perspective.
I was the MOH in my best friend’s wedding in a Philly suburb, and our dresses with her DB discount were only about $130 — but that was very lucky! I also spent another $30 to have it hemmed, $35 or so on shoes, and I paid about $65 total to have my hair and makeup done (by my own choice — she said we could do whatever we wanted). The reception was down the street from my house so I walked home and didn’t need a hotel, and between her bachelorette and shower, I probably spent $250 or so (plus lots of time!). She also had 7 BMs total, so that minimized individual cost. That’s a total of $480, which I think is quite reasonable (plus as her MOH I chipped in a bit more than everyone else for the shower and Bachelorette).
On the flip side, I was in an NYC wedding where the dress was about $230, minimal alterations were another $40, and the shoes (of my picking) were $27 on sale. I paid for my hair and makeup, about $140 total, and paid $220 a night for a hotel room. The shower split between only 3 BMs was $335 each, plus $80 or so for a low-key bachelorette dinner and drinks out. My mom took care of my transportation costs from Philly to NYC since it was a family wedding and several of us traveled together by van. That’s a total of $1072 if you’re only counting one night in the hotel (I stayed for a few nights but that was my own choice).
For neither of these weddings did I feel like anything was outrageous — each final tally was a pretty accurate reflection of the geographical location of the wedding and many other factors. When your girls sign on to be BMs, they know that money is involved. I don’t think $200 for a dress is unreasonable, but if you’re concerned, see if you can find a better price at another boutique or cover the cost of their shoes/jewelry/alterations if you can. Also see if you can get a discount at your dress boutique if you’re ordering 5 or more dresses (sweet talking can work wonders!). Good luck!
My sister’s dress was $190 before alterations but she picked it. Shoes- $60. Not sure how much she spent on the shower - it was catered in her backyard and they rented a tent. Tent rental was $500 alone. I don’t have any other bridesmaids but my mom is an unofficial one.
My wedding is 4 hours away from her (and my) house and she’s staying 2 nights.
That being said- I did all of it for her 2 years ago (except the 4 hours away part- though I did get a hotel room for a night).
I’m paying for her manicure/pedicure/hair/makeup and her daughter’s flower girl dress. Her gift is separate from that - I made a spa type gift basket including a fluffy robe and slippers and products (and a mini robe for her daughter). FMIL made her jewelry.
Sorry that was so long!
1st time as bm:
$230 for the (horrible, ugly, inconvenient to get) dress. $50 for required, dyed shoes. No alterations because by the time I finally got the dress, there wasn’t enough time. Hair/nails/make-up not required and paid for by us if we wanted them. No money for showers (family hosted) or bachelorette (game night at bm’s house). Probably $200 for flight and, begging poor student status, the bride set me up to stay at another bm’s house.
2nd time as bm (moh):
$200 dress, $500 for bachelorette weekend, $600 flight, $600 hotel. Bride (knowing we all spent a fortune to get to the wedding) paid for alterations, hair and nails. $50 for silver our-pick shoes.
Come the end of September I will have been a bridesmaid twice and both are to be equally differing experiences:
Wedding #1:
Destination Wedding in Dominican Republic
Travel/all inclusive stay: $1400
BM Dress: $219
Alterations: ~$45
Shoes (which we never wore): $30
Hair: $55
Bridal Shower: $60 (only 10 people where invited/attended)
Bachelorette: didn’t have one
Gifts: $150
TOTAL: $1959
Wedding #2:
Wedding to take place in Ontario - I live in BC
Travel: FREE (used airplane points, would have been $610)
BM Dress: FREE (can’t believe the Bride is paying - so not expected, but she wouldn’t take no for an answer)
Alterations: FREE (come with the dress)
Shoes: $100
Hair: $75
Pedi: $40 (optional)
Bridal Shower: $400 (we wanted to throw her a kick-butt shower to show our appreciation to her)
Bachelorette: $150
Gifts: $200
TOTAL: $965 OR $1575 if needed to pay for flights…
Honestly, I’ll likely be in only 3 or MAYBE 4 weddings so I don’t mind - in fact I enjoy it and am so honoured. However, I have heard of other ladies being in 6 weddings a year for 3 years in a row…that would be costly. Try not to fret over it too much…perhaps offer to pay for their hair or shoes - or not…I mean part of the responsibility of agreeing to be a bridesmaid is knowing it is going to have some costs - it is hard to find a BM dress in a bridal store that is under $200 - netbride.com is always a fab option - Good luck!
I’m providing their dresses. They can wear whatever shoes in silver or gold that they already own. On the flip side, I would not want to spend more than $100 on a BM dress that I would only wear once. I wouldn’t mind spending $200 if it was a beautiful dress that wasn’t an obvous BM dress.
I totally agree with Paula. I’ve spent outlandish amounts of money to be a bridesmaid and MOH. Money does not equal love and affection for friends…
I am keeping it simple & let my MOH choose her own dress and shoes w/in my color scheme (I went with her) and we made sure it was something she’d wear again. I am paying for her makeup because she’s my sister and I want to, but she’s also a single mom & my destination wedding is costing her a bundle to get to.
I guess the best rule is to just try to be considerate in terms of the person who has the lowest income and still try to please yourself within reasonable limits.
The travel costs vary for my bridesmaids (some are local, some are not) but here is the breakdown for the rest:
Dress - $135
Alterations - different for each girl but one had them done for free by a friend, and my sister needed a lot of alterations and she paid about $60
Shoes: I gave them shoes as a gift
Hair: that’s up to them but the hairdresser that is doing my hair will also do theirs for $40 if they want
Shower: not sure what they spent on it but my guess is not more than $50 each
Hotels: I got a suite the night before the wedding and offered for any of my girls to stay there with me (free of charge) 3 of them are going to and the rest got cheap room at nearby hotels for less than $70/night
Wow. And I was starting to feel guilty for what I’m having my BMs do. Like Paula, I was going to have them BYO little black dress, but they all wanted to match, so we agreed on a $125 black dress that they WILL wear again. Like most girls, they all already own black heals. I’m not asking them to get their hair or make-up done. I don’t want them to have to spend anymore money. As a BM, I’ve paid $100 - $300 on dress/alterations/shoes/hair. That’s not including wedding gifts, and other parties.
In order to relieve some of my guilt regarding the cost of being a bridesmaid, I tried to find a dress less than $130 for my bridesmaids. I was always consulting them over the style of the dress.
We bought the gowns online, and it saved them each about $50.
Then, I let them know that if they wanted a hair or nail appointment with me, I would make one, but it wasn’t necessary.
I gave them gifts, and thanked them constantly, and I felt a little better about it.
Also, the majority of my BMs didn’t get me any gifts and did minimal when it came to my showers. It’s hard to say I feel guilty after that, and although they are the best of friends they were the suckiest of BMs.
For My Wedding:
- Dresses - $150, but they only paid $125, I paid for the $25 fabric upgrade I wanted
- Shoes - Champagne colored shoes of their choice, some bought the $15 shoes I sent them a link for
- Alterations - $25-$35
- Hair/Makeup - I am paying for
- Shower/Bachelorette party - I have no idea what they eneded up paying per person, I am guessing $150 each?
All in all, my costs for them are less than $400.
When I was my friends MOH, I paid:
- Dress - $225
- Alterations - $25
- Shoes - $45 (mandatory)
- Shower/Bachelorette Party - $250
- Hair - $45 (mandatory)
- Gift - $200
- Misc? - $50
_________
$840 give or take, which was ALOT at the time cuz I wasn’t making much $$!!
the most i spent as a BM was about $1200. that included the dress (approx $135), shoes, cost of the bridal shower, hair, makeup, bachelorette party… then throw on top of that the actual wedding gift to the couple, and 1 delinquent bridesmaide who didn’t pay me back for the cost of ths shower… and i was way over $1000. i was a little upset, actually, at how much i spent, but it’s been a couple years now since that wedding and the sting has gone away.
when it was my turn, i vowed to keep everything simple so that my BM’s wouldn’t be fettered with so much cost. i bought the dresses for them and made them promise to keep the shower very simple and casual.
I only had a MOH, and I did my best to keep the costs down.
She lives in town, so no need for a hotel room, and I didn’t have a bachelorette.
Dress: Black cocktail of her choosing
Shoes: Her choice
Accessories: I bought her earrings and a wrap
Hair/makeup: optional
Shower: Didn’t have a traditional shower. I would guess about $40-$50.
Mani/pedi: optional, $35. We did this the day before together.
I only had a MOH, and I did my best to keep the costs down.
She lives in town, so no need for a hotel room, and I didn’t have a bachelorette.
Dress: Black cocktail of her choosing. From Macy’s, I think around $50.
Shoes: Her choice. She wore ones she already owned.
Accessories: I bought her earrings and a wrap
Hair/makeup: optional
Shower: Didn’t have a traditional shower. I would guess about $40-$50.
Mani/pedi: optional, $35. We did this the day before together.
The dresses are $40 before alterations (off the rack from Loehmann’s). They can buy shoes of their own choosing and I’m not asking them to do pro makeup/hair. Also, they can wear their own jewelry.
One is local so travel is $0 and another is flying from LA to SF and will crash with friends so travel costs will be minimal for her.
I will probably have a low-key bachelorette so I’m saying maybe $50 more each for that?
The only weddings I’ve been in were those of my sisters, one while in HS and the other while in college so my Mom covered the expenses.
I gave my BMs a lot of choices about dresses, wanting to get their input. When no one but my MOH responded, I went with her idea and so the girls are in dresses from Ann Taylor. They were about $160, and my mother covered the dresses for my sisters. I paid for $30 of each of the other two BMs dresses as they’re both in college and I felt guilty for making them spend so much. But I’m confidant that they can use the dresses again, and everyone loves them.
I’ve asked them to wear silver-ish shoes of whatever style they like, and getting their hair and make-up done will be left to them. I haven’t decided about gifts completely, so I might treat them to having mani’s and pedi’s before the wedding. We’re on a tight budget, but I would love to be able to help them out more!
My fiance’ wants to wear a brown suit but doesn’t want to ask his groomsmen to buy brown suits. I reason that it’s acceptable as the BMs have to buy their own dresses. But I realize that men’s suits are typically expensive unless you find a good sale.
My BMs paid about $150 for their dresses from David’s, where I told them the color and the skirt (and shoes) and they picked the tops. If I had it to do over again I wouldn’t have dictated the shoes, because who cares?
Because the wedding wasn’t local for any of them, we paid for travel and lodging. There were no showers, no bachelorette parties, and no gifts, and we all did our own hair and makeup.
So even with the shoes, they were still only out $180.
wedding 1 (was a grad students at the time)
dress: 130 + 65 alterations (stupid people made me order it too big)
shower + bachelorette + group wedding gift from all bridesmaids: $150 (no travel for me b/c i hosted at my apt)
travel: $300
mani/pedi: $25 (optional)
hotel: $30 (only night of wedding, crashed w/ other bm 2 nights before, and shared 5 ways on one room)
total: $700
wedding 2 (now fully employed)
dress: $135 + 35 alterations
shower + bachelorette + group shower gift: $124
travel to shower/bachelorette: $300 (came from CA)
wedding travel: $150 (came from MA)
sharing rental car w/ other bm: $50
manicure: $35 (optional)
hair: $65 (optional)
wedding gift: $200 (totally b/c i love her so much and really wanted to buy her the specific item)
total: $1100, $900 minus slightly extravagant gift
Sorry if I am repeating above comments (not enough time right now to read all of them)…but there was a great article in the “weekly roundup” this week (8/6) that addressed just this issue. It was called “wedding-bill blues”. I sent copies to all my BMs, with a note explaining that these weren’t the prices I expected of them, but rather a good guideline for the both of us to follow. (ie I won’t make them come to 10 showers!)
For a wedding I am in in 3 weeks I have spent/plan to spend about the following:
Dress: $150 plus proably $30 for some much needed alterations (the place made all the bm’s dresses HUGE)
Shower Gift: $60
Bachelorette Party: $200 for travel, hotel, food, drinks, etc
Bachelorette Party Gift: $100
Wedding Gift: $100
Hair and Makeup: Probably $50 (my FSIL is doing it and this will be just a tip)
Shoes: $0 Wearing shoes I already had
Mani/Pedi: $75 Planning to Take her to get a mani/pedi a few days before (this price is for both os us)
Travel: $0 She is getting married 10 minutes from my house so no expense will be incurred for this.
Total: $765 and Totally worth every penny cause I love both her and her fiance and am so delighted to be a part of it.
I think that $200 sounds like a lot of money. Generally, I’d price a comparable dress at David’s Bridal (figuring that’s a low-moderate price) and cover the rest.
Also remember you can help compensate them w/ other freebies, like negotiate a group discount on the BM attire, or get the hotel to throw in free parking or restaurant certificates, etc., or give them frequent flyer miles to make the trip. This approach spares them an expense they would have otherwise incurred but doesn’t feel like giving them cash.
for the first wedding i was in, all i paid for was the dress [$110 - alterations included since it was custom made] because i did my own hair, borrowed shoes, had a friend do my makeup and the bride gave us our day-of jewelry. we had a sleepover for the bachelorette so that was free and for the shower, we did a potluck and i made the favors which came out to about $30.
for the one i was just in, i spent:
dress: $140 on the dress
alterations: $30
shoes: $45
hair/makeup: free thanks to my sister
hair pin: $7 that i diy’ed
total: $222
for the bach. weekend, my cost was $40 [share of room and dinner] but the bridal shower busted my budget since i went all out with everything. i’d rather not know what i ended up spending because it was a great day.
in weddings I have been a part of I have spent easily 900, but I expect my gals will spend about the following:
dress: 200 (I paid the rest)
shower: 200
b-party: maybe 50 but that’s the high end
hotel: (though I offered our place) 200-400 depending on how long they stay
gift: no clue
hair: I am paying
makeup: if they wanted to, it’s 100
nails: i will pay if they want to come with me
so maybe 600?
DRESS: The dresses (no matter how cute, are not re-wearable after the wedding - I don’t mind, but I love how that is always discussed) usually have ranged between $140 - $160. I’ve been in (4) weddings, and haven’t ever needed alterations. - $200 for a dress isn’t obscene by far, I think that you’re fine bride to be… just be sure that you get your BMs super good/thoughtful gifts
SHOES: The shoes have always been a ‘pick your own in this color’ so I’ve probably spent $60+ for each pair, but I definitely got my moneys worth by picking a shoe that I loved…
Beyond that there hasn’t been any other expenses other than shower gifts and bachelorette parties.
i’ve been in three weddings and this is what it cost me for each:
#1. for my sister’s wedding, my parents paid for our $300 bridesmaid dresses and hair. we could wear whatever silver shoes we wanted. my only cost for this wedding was the shower. total: $200
#2. in hawaii. $80 for the dress, $20 for shoes, $125 for bachelorette party/shower, $750 for airfare (during peak travel time). total: $975
#3. local. $150 for the dress (the seamstress quoted me $80 for alterations so i opted to spend 3 hours doing them myself), $15 for shoes, $300 for bachelorette party/shower. total: $465
for my own wedding i will be paying for my girls’ dresses and their hair + makeup. they’ll be traveling pretty far (altho they would attend regardless of whether they were in the wedding) so i don’t want them to spend any more money than they have to if they were just a guest.
for my moh’s wedding, she paid for the dress, shawl, hair, and makeup…
but with bridal shower + gift, bachelorette party in vegas, and wedding gift, I still spent over $1000.
it certainly is pricey to not only be in a wedding, but even just to attend!
Everyone’s brought up good points (I forgot about throwing showers and BP’s) and especially the wedding where we went to Vegas for the BP, which was semi-optional.
A lot of boutiques do offer discounts if all BM’s dresses are ordered there, or if you’ve purchased your dress from the same shop, etc. If you’re feeling up for it, there’s also Pearl’s Place and Netbride that seem to offer big discounts on dresses.
For my wedding, the BM’s were all very involved in the choice. We agreed that 200 for the dress (and below) would be reasonable and they all found one at J.Crew. I know one (my Matron OH) wore hers again already!
You are obviously very caring to be concerned about this!
WEDDING 1-
Hair, professional makeup, jewels: $0 (gift from bride)
Dress: approx. $135
Alterations: $75
Shoes: $0 (choose your own, I had a great pair)
Shower: $110
Shower gift: approx. $200 (b/c she really, really wanted this expensive favor and I got that for her too — she never asked for it, just mentioned she couldn’t afford it for the wedding– and I did her shower flowers)
Bach: approx. $250 (but only because I really wanted her to have a good night in NYC and one girl couldn’t really afford it so the other 2 of us covered more)
Hotel: $190
Gift: $400 (again, I did her flowers and I gave her some moolah)
TOTAL WEDDING 1: around $1,360
WEDDING 2:
Hair: $85 (she’s not getting so I booked my guy)
Professional makeup, jewels: $?? (she hasn’t told us what’s going to happen yet)
Dress: $485 (yup, you read right)
Alterations: $75
Shoes: $80
Shower: $70
Shower gift: $160
Bach: didn’t happen yet, but so far approx. $400 (flight & parking), plus 2 days vacation from work
Hotel: $190 estimate
Gift: $200 estimate
Other: day off from work for wedding; additional gift from BMs $30
TOTAL WEDDING 2: around $1,775
Now, I really feel these are both too high. The first one, I didn’t mind because most of it was my own doing. If I only did what was asked, it would have been quite a lot less. But, I wanted to do things for her that she couldn’t have otherwise done and really wanted (hey, I love the girl!). The second one, I think that what’s being asked is too much. I was really shocked by the bach. I don’t see why a long weekend is needed, but I’m not the bride in that one!
I’m trying to keep my girls’ costs down as best I can.
Dress: $175
Alterations: $125
Shoes: $50 on sale
Engagement gift: $25
Bridal shower gift: $35
Lingerie gift: $180 (my choice)
Wedding gift (with my FI): $200
Flight: $250
Hotel: $165 per night x 3 (there were free accommodations available too, but traveled with my FI)= $1535
Though I must add that I received wonderful bridesmaids gifts: diamond earrings included.
For my wedding, I only have my sisters as bridesmaids so my parents will buy their dresses $295 from Neiman Marcus. NO mandatory shoes. NO showers. NO registry for gifts. Though there is a bachelor/bachelorette in Vegas. But only those who want to will come.
Being a bridesmaid can be a bit too pricey.
I don’t think you should factor in the cost of airfare and hotel to your bridesmaid costs. Presumably you’d still be spending that to go to the wedding, even if you weren’t in the wedding party, right?
We decided to only have my godchildren as ring bearer and flower girl for our wedding party - their outfits cost $20 each (white aloha shirt and dress!), and their plane tickets were $400 each (i paid for them, but not their mother’s or younger brother’s). I’m in DC, and my best girlfriends all live so far away (LA, Ann Arbor, San Diego, Tel Aviv, Seattle), and we’re having the wedding in Hawaii. It’s going to cost so much just for them to get there, that I didn’t want to throw on any other obligations (financial or otherwise). Actually, I’m prepared for some of them to not be able to make the trip, and I didn’t want them to feel like they have to come and get into too much debt. Of course, I AM putting the ones who are there to work, but that will only cost them their own energy, and I’ll pay them back with a mani/pedi the day before the wedding. =)
All of the weddings I’ve been in have utilized me as a musician, so I’ve never been a bridesmaid!
I am one of my first friends to get married so I have never been a bridesmaid. For my wedding, here are my expected costs for me and my 7 bridesmaids:
$140 (with shipping and tax $167) for dress bought online at Nordstroms. Each girl was reimbursed by check but a couple never deposited it and that was several months ago. I have heard that several but not all girls have to have alterations.
$15 for Payless gold shoes on sale, bridesmaids paid
Jewerly I paid for.
Will pay for hair and makeup if they want it done. My mom is offering to foot the bill on this which is very generous. My Mom is also offering to pay for transportation at the Bachelorette. I’ll probably also pay for mani and pedis.
Shower put on by FMIL.
Many bridesmaids will have to pay for flight and hotel which varies.
For my friend’s recent wedding I was her MOH:
dress: $110
shoes (matching): $30
jewelry: gift from bride
hair (matching): approx. $45
nails (not required): $25
bachelorette party: approx. $75
bridal shower: goodness knows… $200+
Not sure if I should include hotel expenses… Is so, then about $100/night for 2 nights. Also, shower gifts cost $75-100 and wedding gift was probably $150. Not too much required for BMs, but I spent a lot more because I was MOH spent more on the shower I threw (she had 2 in different states) than the other girls.
For my wedding:
dress: $160 before alterations (if needed-
most did not)
shoes: any kind in color silver, most of which
already owned them- only 1
bought a new pair)
hair: optional, about $30-35 (some did)
nails: optional, about $20 (some did)
jewelry: gift from me
bridal shower: 2 MOHs hosted along with my
family, most cost to my family
bachelorette party: probably $50 in gifts from
BMs combined, everyone there
pitched for dinner, not including
myself
travel: 2 of my BMs flew in from out of town,
but both stayed with family
I don’t think $200 is too much for a BM dress, as long as other expenses can be kept minimal or are optional (hair, nails, etc).
Thank you all for your great comments!
Right now I’m asking the ladies to get
Dresses - $200 by Priscilla of Boston
Shoes - Their choice in silver (probably $50 max)
Hair - Their choice (around $40)
Nails - Only requirement is no flashy color if they get them done.
Jewelry - Pearl earrings (Gift from me)
This is a NYC wedding and 3 of the 5 ladies will be flying in; one is below 18 so her parents will be paying.
All are native to NYC so they should not have a problem with lodging.
I’m thinking about having a slumber bachelorette party the night before the wedding, which should not be too expansive and I’m hoping that my mom or FMIL will host my shower at home.
*P.S. The password for my wedding Inspiration page is apple.
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I’ve been very lucky I realize in this post.
Wedding #1 - MOH
Dress - $0 paid for by a very generous friend. (But I helped her go pick in Santee Alley and it was about $70).
Shoes - $0 (we could wear our own)
Mani/Pedi - $60. I wasn’t asked to do this - just did it on my own. I don’t think the other bridesmaids did.
Hair & Makeup - $0. We had the option of her paying for one (hair or makeup) and option to hire the other. I opted for hair and I did my own makeup.
Gifts - $200+
Bachelorette party - weekend in Vegas (where she picked up our massage tab also).
Shower - she didn’t want one $0
* Very generous and thoughtful friend. She didn’t want us to have to spend hardly anything.
Wedding #2
Destination to D.C. (hotel, airfare, expenses, etc…) - Cost BF a pretty penny ~$3K (we were both in the wedding).
Dress - $0 ( a dress I wouldn’t have chosen and won’t wear again) Probably about $70.
Shoes - $0 - our own
Hair & Makeup - $0 - a disaster and I ended up doing my own.
Shower - $50 for the gift - I wasn’t able to attend the shower.
Wedding gift - $200+ (BF)
* For my own - I am hoping to cover the cost of the dresses and some part of travel expenses for my maids. I’ll probably buy the fabric and have custom dresses made for each girl in a style they like so they’d wear it again.
Well, haven’t been in a wedding, but this is what I did for my bridesmaids.
I didn’t want my bridesmaids to worry about paying a lot for the wedding. We all just graduated college this spring, and no one had a great job yet. So I wanted to keep things as cute but inexpensive as possible. This is what I did:
Dresses had to be in brown or green, since those were my colors (preferably green). Looked everywhere, decided on a more relaxed wedding, and bought the dresses for $20 online at Chadwicks.com. Added a ribbon. The girls got their shoes at Walmart for $8. Jewelry was from Steve & Barry’s (Sarah Jessica Parker’s new “Bitten” stuff) for $12 for a necklace and earrings. The girls did their hair anyway they wanted, and they were supposed to keep their makeup “natural and sweet” using neutrals, with black eyeliner and light pinks allowed. The girls payed $40 for the dress, the shoes, and the jewelry. The girls took me out for an awesome massage, and we had pizza and cake for the bachelorette party (one of my bridesmaids didn’t drink b/c of religious reasons, so we didn’t even bother with that). I’m not sure how much they each payed for the bachelorette. My friends at church and family did the shower, so bridesmaids didn’t have to worry about that. I think this was an AWESOME way to go for the VERY budget-conscious bride. For pictures of the bridesmaid dresses and shoes, go to:
http://i210.photobucket.com/albums/bb21/jessicamaybe/exampleofshoes.jpg?t=1186852695
http://i210.photobucket.com/albums/bb21/jessicamaybe/exampleofdress.jpg?t=1186852695
(If that doesn’t work… the username is “jessicamaybe” and the password is “wedding”)
The main point is…. you CAN be diligent with the budget, it just depends on how you want the wedding. Our bridesmaid dresses were simple, fairly casual, with a bow in the back. The girls have all worn them at least three times since the wedding (which was less than a month ago) and have allll received compliments. A LOT of people at the wedding asked where I got them, and honestly? I’m PROUD of them!!!!!
