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In today’s hive:
To add your question to Beehive, please leave a comment below. Since many questions have already been answered previously, please use the Google search box at the top of the page to see if you can’t find an answer there first. Also, you can check past Beehives here. Thanks!
4 - KatieB. My photographer is giving me a CD of all photos two weeks after the wedding (free of charge)… I think a year is outrageous and I wouldn’t hire him/her.
alabamabee- I called a couple hotels and told them I was hosting a wedding near them, and what would be the discounted rate to block out rooms? How long is that rate good for (normally 4 days surrounding the wedding), and when is the “release date” of the rooms if not booked, so they call sell them at regular rate? Make sure they wont charge you for unused rooms, and see what they will throw in for you & FI.
One hotel i looked at, we’d have to get a regular room, the suite was booked, and they wouldn’t let me in early to get ready. The other hotel threw in the honeymoon suite, and is letting us in early, instead of having to reserve the night before.
Just some thoughts! good luck!
Kimberly - This is a great opportunity to do something really personal. If you cook a lot, maybe a pot. If you travel, maybe a little suitcase. If you’re all about pets, maybe a little dog bed. Seriously, anything at all can work, as long as it fits your wedding and your personality. We got married on Cape Cod, so the florist really wanted us to have a cranberry scoop or a lobster trap as our card box. That’s just not us. Do what fits you.
KatieB - My photographer is also releasing the photos to us one year after the wedding. I felt like this was an improvement over the photographers in our area that we talked to who NEVER released the rights to the photos. An album designed by the photographer is included in our package, so we’ll probably only order a few extra shots and then wait the year. At that point we’ll get all photos high res and touched up. It was well worth the wait in our opinions.
the ever so lovely kelly asked me if anyone knows of a good MC/DJ that can speak either Chinese or Korean in the NYC area? She’s getting married in December and is looking for one. Thanks!
Kimberly, are you have any type of theme or style? If not, you could always do a hat box and use it later for storage for sentimental things from the wedding. 
Or even just a basket with a nice bow or ribbon on it and use the colors of your wedding.
J - uh oh, sounds like if you didn’t give the photographer a list of must-take photos, with one of them being a solo groom photo, then you may be out of luck. However, if you DID let them know this was an important shot, and they didn’t take it, then you should ask them what happened.
KatieB - I would bet that she’s holding onto the DVD for such a long time because she’s trying to make extra cash off your guests who order prints from her because they don’t want to wait a year, and I personally wouldn’t tolerate this because you’re already going to be paying her plenty of cash. I would see if you can buy the DVD from her right after the wedding if the cost is reasonable, get it included in your package, otherwise walk away if it’s important to you to have the images.
kat - I’d suggest registering for a modest number of items you really want, don’t register for any “filler” stuff.
alabama bee - A hotel room block is basically like placing a “hold” on an item in a store; you aren’t actually committing to buy, but it takes those rooms out of the inventory available to sell to other members of the public. You should be given a group name for the block (such as the “Alabama Bee Wedding”) with a room rate that you negotiate with the sales rep. Ask your guests to book the “Alabama Bee Wedding” room rate from the block when they call to reserve, and then the hotel staff will book rooms from the room block rather than the rest of the hotel’s room inventory. Yes you should just call the hotel, ask to speak to the group sales rep and inquire about a room block. If you need more rooms than they are willing to reserve for you, they will probably say you can always add more rooms to the block when the block sells out. This is true, but be aware that they probably will not add ANY rooms to the initial number in the block until ALL the rooms in your block have been sold out.
Mrs. penguin: If you like a scavenger hunt, here’s a variation and it requires zero prep: “Bigger or Better”! Each team gets something tiny and valueless (a paperclip, a thumbtack, a toothpick) and has to run around the neighborhood (works better in suburbia?) and trade up for anything they understand they won’t get back that is bigger and/or better. Neighbors might trade what you offer for something like a battery, which gets traded for a pencil stub, then a full-sized pen, then a waffle iron, then a tire, then a stuffed moose head… Keep running from house to house trading up. Set a deadline for the teams to report back to home base. It can be funny what they collect and what they have to do to lug it home. The group that brings back the most amazing (or huge) thing wins.
I have a huge situation. I’ve been a BM 3 times already. Recently, my best friend asked me to be her BM making this my 4th. I’m honored she asked but wonder if i should pay any attention to the saying, “Always a bridesmaid, never a bride.” My mother has been giving me a hard time because she’s old-fashion and is supersitious. What should i do? I leaning towards accepting because she is my best friend and it would be such an unforgettable experience. But there’s that 1% of me that has me thinking. Is it really bad luck?
Mrs.Penguin: have each attendee bring a pair of underwear for the bride as a gift (make sure to ask her her size beforehand) that “reflects their personality.” As she unwraps each pair, she has to guess who it’s from based on what it looks like. My gals made me do a shot every time I was wrong, but you could change it up (like, she has to do a dare every time she’s wrong).
CB, I personally would be upset if my best friend refused to be in my wedding because of “superstitious.” But it’s probably because I don’t believe in that 3 times bridesmaid rules.
I am wondering if anyone has or has seen a little girl as the ring bearer instead of a boy. We don’t know any little boys, but know an adorable little girl who is a friend of the family. I already have 1 flower girl. If anyone has done/seen this, did they dress both the flower girl and the ring bearer in the same dress?
cb - i was going to email you directly. we’ve had that same question posted before on weddingbee…. but i don’t believe too much in superstitions. 
CB - I would be quite upset if my best friend turned down the bridesmaid request for that reason too (there are reasons I would forgive, such as if it were too expensive, but I would not forgive turning it down in case it ruins your chance of getting married yourself). I don’t pay any credence whatsoever to the saying - I think that if you’re always a bridesmaid it’s because you’ve got a great group of friends who all love you enough to want to include you in a special way in their wedding, and you’ll have a great pool of friends to turn to for your own bridal party when your big day comes. You will get to be a bride too if it’s what you want
Jill - try Saks, or even better, Off 5th, the Saks outlet store.
cb — Well, it’s better than never a bridesmaid, always a bride!
christine, do you know the little girl well? We only have a flower girl, and no ring bearer. it took me a few days to realize, you dont have to have all the standard! im sure it would be fine if she wore the same dress, or something like it. good luck!
Thanks so much guys! After much though, you’re right - why would I care so much about superstition? I would’ve regretted it if I declined. Just feels so much better that you guys feel the same way.
Oh, and I just wanted to say - weddingbee has always been such a great support group to it’s readers and members and I thank you!
Katie B– I wouldn’t say it’s the norm, but it’s getting increasingly common. It’s pretty lame.
kat– yes, register, you’re kind of hosting a reception, after all.
CB– it’s not bad luck, it means you’re lucky enough to have more than 3 close girl friends. We should all be so lucky.
Melanie– Tee hee.
Christine, our flower girl is “bearing” the rings on the ribbon we laced her flower basket with. When the “ring bearer” is called up, the flower girl will lift her basket for the officiant to untie our rings. Tradition doesn’t always smile on circumstance.
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Beehive Feature Launched: Aug 31, 2006 About: A forum for readers to post questions and get feedback from the hive, aka the weddingbee community.
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