Along with clowns, spiders and cliffs, it appears I am now afraid of lists. Checklists, to-do lists, guest lists- you name it, I’m afraid. Today I looked at my friendly Wedding Announcer countdown and noticed less than 90 days until the big one.
Normally I’m a procrastinator, but not this bad. Everything wedding has been stuffed into the closet, my “Together for Life” book has been slid back into the filing box, and my Wedding- No Mass form has been folded into a book- unfilled. A call to our church lady still leaves me wondering where I’m going to find a Homily and Gospel in our book. My dress comes in next week (YAY!!) and I still have no undergarments. Yes, I am aware that going commando to my fitting will be a huge no-no. 
You’d think that with so many things left to do I’d bust out a spreadsheet for the things we need to do. Nope. Instead I’m watching Tivoed episodes of Scrubs, The Office, and Good Eats. Even my former favorite pastime of watching Bridezillas and Engaged & Underage and laughing, I now can’t do. It stresses me out. I see a bride breaking down and crying and I think, “Oh crap. I don’t want to be that.”
Since we’ve been engaged now for 16 months, you’d think I’d be totally ahead, and have everything organized. I hear from people offering to help us with things, and they say, “Wow, you guys are so ahead of the game!” If only they knew. The really important things aren’t done yet, the sending of invites, the printing of reception cards, the readings chosen and organist spoken with (the money to pay for this hasn’t been completely made yet!). There are more things, but since I haven’t made a LIST yet, I can’t remember them. It’s like there are two sides of our wedding: Side A has everything all neat and pretty, lined up nicely. Side B has Mr. Kiwi and I scrounging for pennies in the couch and using every hand and foot to keep things (and us) from toppling over.
This is why I refuse to make a list right now. I think my emotions are so fragile, that if I am itemizing and listing things left to do, I may crack.
Anyone else feel like this?
I can totally sympathize and I still have 10 months until our wedding! I’m disorganized at the best of times but have my daytimer as my bible - but of late I’ve just neglected to write things down, or I’ll write them down and neglect to do anything about it.
90 days to go can be a nerve wracking time. I know for me, I would go through weeks of panic then doing nothing, then panic because I was doing nothing.
Rather than make a huge list, why not make a bi-weekly list so that it’s not so overwhelming. Do 1 priority thing every 3 weeks like the reception cards, then invitations, readings, then the programs later.
It’s also a very good time now to look at all the dollars and cents. Figure out now if you need more $, need to work OT, or simply need to cut back. Our cable bill is now over $200/month so we cancelled that. That’s your MOH/BM gift right there. Or your makeup and hair.
I think that’s a valid feeling…but you may be making yourself more fragile by not making a list. If you just sit down and do it, get it out of the way you can probably find people to help you with things. You’ll feel a lot crazier if you wait! Trust me 
I’m 56 days away and I am a total procrastinator. I finally made my lists on day 70…..it is a lot to do….but now I feel better about it…I don’t feel all these looming shadows of vague wedding planning details…I now know what I need to do, I trimmed off things that were too much for me and now I have a goal in mind. You can do it!
I was kind of that way before the wedding…as it got closer and closer I just kept telling myself I didn’t care if person “X” made a decision for me or if item “Y” wasn’t at the wedding. In the end I was super happy with everything and the memories were made, regardless.
Mrs. Kiwi, Los Angeles
Age and Occupation in 06: 27, Bookkeeper
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 27, P.E. Teach/Coach @ private schools in LA
Engagement Date: March 31, 2006
Wedding Date: November 3, 2007
Venue: Radisson Hotel
About Me: I'm a bookkeeper who failed high school algebra. I'm currently living in Los Angeles, literally a street over from where I grew up with Mr. Kiwi, my honey of three years. We have a jumbo mini-dachshund (seriously, he's huuuuge), and we're planning an autumn themed wedding on a shoestring, paid for by ourselves. The wedding date is my late grandma's birthday, I needed her there somehow, and that seemed like the best way for us. I can't believe I'm a Bee! I couldn't be more proud!
im just gonna throw a huge DITTO in!