Weddingbee

It depends what you are negotiating — remember, it’s not all about money, you can also get extras thrown.

Reception hall - this is the place where you should get the price lowered. I am in North Jersey, and every price I received was their starting price, show any hesitation and they even asked me, “what were you looking to spend.” Always low-ball. I would even say at some places, “we really didn’t want to spend more than $___ can you work with that?” They can waive fees (coat check, valet, cermony fee, etc), throw in extra cocktail reception items, etc. It’s all about starting a conversation. Good bargaining items are the time of year you will have it (they are much more willing to negotiate if you are having the wedding in their “off-season”; guaranteeing a minimum number of guests, etc.

Vendors providing services — remember that you are just trying to get them to work within your budget. Be tactful, and tell them you love their work, but don’t think it will work with your budget. I was able to get my photographer to throw in an engagement session, and negotiated with my band and videiographer to lower their fees. Some photographers were willing to throw in more hours and do an engagment session. Most bands were offering different variations of their band, so that they would be more flexible with price. Remember, it doesn’t hurt to ask. I usually did the vendor negotiations over email, and would be very straightforward (while sugar-coating it) — most appreciated my honesty, and said in the end they are so happy for the business. Some people won’t budge, but not one person made me feel uncomfortable for asking. I think they expect it.

I read somewhere that when you negotiate anything, you should communicate with statements, not questions so that you won’t be in an inferior position. Example: You say, “I really like your work and think that you would be a good fit for my wedding, but [original price] is a little over the original budget that we set for [service]. We would really like to allocate [new price].” If they can not meet it and you still really want their services, ask the vendor how you can cut back on costs. It doesn’t hurt to ask. When I booked my photographer, I was shocked that their 2007 pricing was a la carte and the package that i had looked at in 2006 would have cost me over 50% more. I simply asked (in a wordy e-mail) and they agreed to give me the package at the 2006 prices.

Also, I think that brides are often hesitant to negotiate wedding prices because the “perfect day” is at stake. Wedding vendors thrive on this. But what brides should realize is that almost everything you pay for/buy for your wedding is a business transaction and since you are paying, you are in charge. So leave your sentiments at the door!

Also don’t be the first to state a number. If you say it’s over your budget, fine; if you say, I have $1000 to spend, magically the price will be $1000!

I read a really good book about negotiating, called The Budgeting Bride. It’s about how to get what you want and not having to settle for the cheaper version. It’s important to remember that they are in business … to make money. They often capitalize on brides’ needs to have a “perfect” day. Doing a job at a lower price doesn’t always mean a worse job, especially since these companies depend on word of mouth and recommendations. In the end, you or someone you love is putting pretty pennies down for this event, so why not try to get the most bang for your buck with a little negotiating?

I negotiated the prices with our floral vendor and she lowered the price and in quote “without changing the overall look”. My husband and I thought we got a good deal until our wedding date. The bridal bouquet died before the end of the day. I left it at the reception hall because I couldn’t bear the thought of having it with me longer. The ceremony flowers were dissapointing. My husband had to fix it and show me the pics after everything was done. The “good ” flowers were at the reception.
So, I would highly recommend that you don’t negotiate the prices, just find a different vendor.

I agree that you should be ready for any response. When I was looking for a photographer, I contacted one who did not have prices listed, and asked what his prices were. His email response told me what they were, and that if it didn’t fit in my budget, he still might be able to work with us, just to ask. So ok, I wrote back and said that is out of our budget, (and it actually was, by about $4,000!) and gave him our budget, and he wrote back a snotty email saying that you have to pay to get good photography (I’m sorry, you can get “good” photography for less than $7,000!), and I really needed to think about what was important for my wedding, and he would be willing to set up a “registry” for my guests to go and donate $ towards our photography bill. It seriously made me sick.

So definitely steel yourself for the random a**hole out there, and be prepared to walk away if it’s not in your budget. I think an important thing to remember is that there are literally hundreds of vendors out there for each wedding day service you need, and you should be able to find one you are comfortable working with, in a comfortable price range.

I recommend getting a coordinator anyway (especially day of), and they can usually get you decent prices, but better than that offer recommendations for people they’ve worked with. Good luck, I’m sure you’ll get the hang of it!