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stb mrs ahn–I just went to my neighborhood USPS two weeks ago and asked to get my invites hand-canceled. They handed me the stamp and I stamped all 90+ myself. My point–they still do it, I would go to my local post office and ask the clerk you think is in the best mood that day :).
Amy, I’m sorry to be the barer of bad news, but I’m afraid that the only thing you will encourage guests to do is to give you gifts they selected themselves and you may not have wanted.
A lot of people feel very strongly about cash vs. gifts, and will not stray from this, whether or not the registry is empty.
I would strongly discourage you from doing this. Do no underestimate the intelligence of your guests–hopefully they will mail gifts to you, or you may have to ship yourself.
Either way, the light registry is not a good plan.
HTH
STB mrs ahn — they still do hand canceling. In fact, i was told that if the USPS determines your invties are “non-machineable” (i.e might get caught in a machine), they make you pay the extra postage to hand cancel. If one post office says no, try another.
Hi STB Mrs. Ahn, I had the same experience as jjrames, except we had 140 invites, and we sent ours at the beginning of August. A very nice guy named Ronnie at my local USPS showed me where to stamp, and I went to a little table off to the side and stamped away.
He said that it was okay as long as there were less than 500 (but I don’t believe this is USPS policy, just his niceness).
Good luck! You might have to try a couple post offices, but I think you should be fine.
Amy, I’ve seen something to the effect of “No boxed gifts, please” before. It’s a tactful way of implying monetary gifts without saying “cash only” or something tacky like that.
miss g, sorry to disagree with you, but I think that saying “no boxed gifts, please” is just as tacky as saying “cash only.” Amy, it’s up to your guests to decide what to give you — my best advice is to spread your desires by word of mouth, and return whatever you don’t want for cash or a store credit before you move.
Hi Amy, my cousin recently got married and he and his wife registered at Target and amazon.com for a few small objects, but they also registered for gift cards at both places.
They categorized everything as “nice to have” instead of “need to have,” and I definitely didn’t get a tacky vibe off of their registry. I figured they didn’t need a lot of stuff and could put the gift cards to better use.
I am in the process of addressing my save the dates. Do I have to address the card to “Mr. and Mrs. Hubby’s Name” for my married female friends even though I don’t know their husbands? I feel awkward sending the cards w/o having my own friend’s name on the envelope. Suggestions?
STB Mrs. Ahn,
i got the same answer and decided to just give in and let them run them through. I’m sure if you go to a less crowded local post office, they’ll let you hand cancel them yourselves. If not, go here: http://www.papermart.com/templates/17-0-10.htm
they have WHITE BUBBLE LINED BAGS.
STB mrs. ahn, i have boxed invitations (1.64 in stamps) and i asked about hand cancelling and they didn’t do it at the 2 post offices that i tried. but the 2nd one told me (they were nicer) that they have to hand cancel it anyway because they won’t fit in the machine. i have a 3D silk flower inside and there was no way to ship it otherwise. i would recommend the same route for your beaded beauties. http://www.papermart.com is where i also purchased my 5×6 white swirl boxes and they have different sizes and colors. plus, all the boxes come with the nice cushy cotton pieces to keep your invite raised. i’m the 3rd of my friends to send invites in this manner, so i know it works very well. good luck!
here’s the link for the boxes:
http://www.papermart.com/templates/45-0-10.htm
Amy - when my friend got married last year, she said on her wedding website, “Just the gift of your presence is more than enough. However, if you must send a gift, contributions can be made to our ‘Moving-to-NYC’ fund” in a light context. Personally I didn’t take offense to that at all.
Amy, I got the below poem (printed on a separate piece of paper) in a wedding invitation recently that I thought was a pretty nice way of communicating it. Maybe you can modify the poem to include the move….
Kisses and hugs we’ve shared.
Our home has been made with Love and Care
Most things we need we’ve already got,
And in our home we can’t fit a lot!
A wishing well we thought would be great
(But only if you wish to participate)
A gift of money is placed in the well,
Then make a wish, but shhh….don’t tell!
While enjoying our honeymoon, we’ll feel brand new,
We can look back and say, “It’s all thanks to you!”
Amy: Definitely word of mouth. I also disagree w/ miss g; If I’d already decided to buy a gift, I would have interpreted “no boxed gifts” to mean either no gifts wanted at all or bring gifts to the wedding in a gift bag? Euphemisms can really backfire because they are open to the listener’s interpretation, not that there’s ever a polite way to say “cash only” (which is why people are tempted to use a euphemism).
On the plus side, people are pretty good about word of mouth! For example, a cousin married a military man and they knew they would be moving a lot, and they had the family & bridal party well versed on saying something like, “Well, since the military will be shipping them all over the place and they would hate for any gifts to break, I understand a check would really be appreciated.”
My post office told me that custom stamps don’t get marked at all– no need to hand cancel! Worked on my Save the Dates. I think it depends on the Post Office, so don’t give up!
Amy, we live 2,000 miles from where our wedding was held and we registered with reckless abandon. Our guests showed up with plenty of registry items, which I had a family member collect for us after the wedding. They took them back to crate & barrel, macy’s, etc… and sent us the accumulated gift cards. we took those cards and repurchased all of the items where we lived, so that we wouldn’t have to worry about shipping those items. perhaps some variation of that would work for you.
Thank you all for the suggestions! Looks like the FI and I will have to get creative….
NKC: mad props to your family member that collected all the gifts and returned them for you!
Miss Sunset- I used petal garden and I loved them. I received my petal fast and nobody could tell the differance unless the touched them. My petals were in Ivory. I also had a friend use them last year and she had various shades of orange and again they were really good!
Jenn H, depending on how traditional you and your social circle are, I would address the invites as Jane and John Doe. That way your friends’ names are on there, but you are also acknowledging their partners.
MJ– You mean like zazzle stamps? There’s no postmark at all? They must at least stamp a date of mailing on there somewhere.
Anyone know a lot about cakes & prices? Due to a bunch of people backing out for various reasons, our number has reduced from 38 to 24. This is just fine w/us, but the quote for the cake, which is simple - square, fondant, ribbon, and orchids - is still the same. I asked our coordinator about having too much & she responded no problem, as the layers were shallow, only 6, 8 & 10″ and only layers. Am I crazy, or shouldn’t the price reduce? I mean, it’s less cake, right? Including the orchids, we’re talking $436. That’s over $18/slice! Not including the $50 delivery. I’d appreciate some sane advice. I need to get back to her. Thanks, Bees!
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