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Although conventional wedding traditions can be very beautiful, fun, and meaningful, not every wedding needs to include everything. Every couple has different tastes and preferences. And so these are the things we decided not to do:
These are some things that just deviate a tad from tradition, but are being done by more and more couples these days:
What will you be doing differently at your wedding?
Instead of a bouquet toss I will be making up little cakes for all my single female friends (there will be 4 or 5 at the wedding) with charms in the middle. Whoever gets the penny will get wealth, the ring will get marriage etc… that way everyone gets a blessing.
We’re in the same boat as you. No garter, no bouquet toss. We’re doing photos in advance. We are also walking up the aisle together thanks to my overwhelming feminist tendencies. We are doubling up the parent dances into one. We’re not doing a grand entrance for the bridal party or anything.
I don’t have a wedding party and won’t be doing the bouquet or garter toss. Since we have no attendants, we’re not doing a rehearsal or rehearsal dinner either. We’ll see each other before the ceremony in order to take pictures so we can attend our cocktail hour.
We are not doing bouquet or garter toss either.
Pretty much the same as you:
1. No flower girl (but we are having a ring bearer).
2. No bouquet toss
3. No garter toss
4. No cake–we are having a candy buffet instead.
5. No head table for us or the BP.
6. No introductions/grand entrance for the BP–just for us.
7. We are seeing each other before the ceremony (though this is what normally happens in Jewish weddings).
I love the idea of having the “longest married” couple thing. that’s a great idea..i may steal it. the only flaw…i think a majority of my guests are the second reception (where all the fun will be) are going to be young friends. the longest married will be 2 years! haha.
No bouquet/garter toss,
no first dance,
no father/daughter & mom/son dance,
no head table,
no tea ceremony,
no one walking me down aisle to give me away
no big entrance for the reception
hmmmm…I guess we’re not very traditional 
We eliminated a number of traditions that weren’t meaningful to us:
no bouquet or garter toss
no father/daughter & mom/son dance
no flower girl or ring bearer
no unity candle or similar ceremony
no kissing on command at the reception
no tossing birdseed
no head table (we just sat with our fam+ BP)
no true wedding cake (centerpiece cakes instead)
no giving away
no receiving line
photos beforehand
no grand send off
Wow, I didn’t realize quite how untraditional we were until I typed this out!
No garter toss ….but probably a bouquet toss
No dancing because neither one of us are dancers much and the mix of people at the reception not too condusive to form a dancing crowd.
No catered reception dinner. Instead a full on dessert bar with lots of decadent chocolate cupcakes and cheesecakes and s’mores station. AND wedding cake 
(sugar high?)
Instead of an bar with alcohol we will have a catered open espresso bar for our guests as well as punch.
And the wedding is on a Friday evening instead of a Saturday.
I love that the new tradition is no old traditions. They pretty much stink.
I did everything you did and everything your not doing except the bouquet toss! Thats so funny!
We had a very “different” wedding:
> no kids at all (so no ring bearer/flower girl)
> no religious officiant (we had a judge)
> a “cocktail style” reception, which resulted in a lot of “no”s:
- no receiving line (we had only 90 guests, so we simply visited each in turn)
- no seating assignments! (we had cocktail (standing) and low tables scattered all over the lawn, so people could sit wherever and with whomever they wanted; exception: we did “hosted” tables for our parents and the “elder” guests sat with them)
- no formal dinner/buffet line — we had passed hors d’oeuvers and food stations
> no official parent dances (our parents danced with us at various points, spontaneously)
> no head table - we had a sweetheart table we hardly sat at, and the bridal party sat whever they wanted
> we took some photos beforehand, so we did see each other before the ceremony
> we did the bouquet & garter tosses, however, we asked our emcee to let people know that in the spirit of the original tradition (getting a piece of the bride’s clothing was good luck and the happiness of the couple would come to you - don’t know if it’s true; i read it on the knot, i think), we wanted ALL women (and ALL men) to come up for the tosses. (It was cute; hubby’s auntie - who’s been married for decades - caught my bouquet, and was so thrilled!) We got lots of comments from all the marrieds who thought they’d never get a chance to participate in a toss ever again.
> The most “different” and special part was that we did this on a Friday evening on the Windward side of Oahu, Hawaii, (which means there’s huge potential for rain) without a tent. It was beautiful, but SUPER STRESSFUL!
mine’s pretty traditional, but i’m not having a head table either. i’d want my closest friends to have fun and sit with their sig figs, so we’re having a sweetheart’s table.
i have no ring bearer boy, but i have 5 angel girls (yes, they’re wearing wings) who will carry the rings & coins, flowers, bible, and rosary.
we’re also hanging out with our guests during cocktail hour. but we’re taking pictures before hand. we have a giant gap between the ceremony and reception.
We’re not the average couple, so we wanted our wedding to be a little different. We tried to do away with a lot of the “traditions” we didn’t think fit us. We were married on a Sunday at noon. Our bridal party was nearly entirely comprised of the many children in our lives: my stepson, our numerous nieces and nephews. We took all the posed photos before the ceremony, as it was always important to us that the day be about our wedding and celebration, that it wasn’t a photo shoot. Our flowers were simple (but gorgeous) roses, we didn’t bother with favors, we didn’t have a bouquet or garter toss, there were no intros, no receiving line, and no special dances other than our first dance, and even then we invited everyone to join us after the first minute or so. I loved that moment: dancing with my new husband to “Love is in the Air,” when all the rest of our loved ones joined us on the dance floor. It was magical, exactly what I wanted for our wedding day. It was the happiest day of my life.
I saw the longest married couple dance/bouquet hand off.
Everyone LOVED it! It was so much fun to see it get narrowed down and celebrate the longest marriage there.
I definitely think that will always be a hit!
We’re doing pretty much the same stuff in your post, too!
We did the generational dance (longest married) dance at our wedding and it was a huge hit. It was especially touching for the couples who were out on the floor the longest (we had three couples who had been married over 50 years!). My aunt and uncle ‘won’ and my aunt was incredibly touched when I gave her her own bouquet (which was actually the ‘toss’ bouquet my florist made me).
We are not doing the garter toss - but I’m doing a fortune bouquet toss.
No receiving line - we’ll visit tables.
Taking pictures before the ceremny so we’ll see eachother.
Sweetheart table - small bridal party will sit with their significant others.
oh i love the anniversary dance! and it’s been a hit at every wedding i’ve been to! if you’re looking for a good name for that game, “anniversary dance” has been the best one that i’ve heard of. feel free to use that!
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Mrs. Peony, New York Age and Occupation: 27, Marketing Coordinator Fiance's Age and Occupation: 30, QA Engineer Engagement Date: June 28, 2007 Wedding Date: April 18, 2008 Venue: The Fountainhead Blogging Since: August 7, 2007 About Me: Both Mr. Peony and I are huge computer nerds, and our conversations usually consist of the latest gadgets, programming languages, and video games. At the same time, I can also be very girly with an obsession with handbags, makeup, and high heels. And art! I've studied studio art extensively, almost majored in art history, and freelance as a web and graphics designer. Mr. Peony and I are having a ball of a time planning a wedding for 250(!) guests, doing our best to infuse our personalities (geeky chic) with the wishes of our very traditional Asian parents.
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