In today’s hive:
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Emma - if you’re trying to find a gown that’s by a designer but not as pricey as their wedding gowns then check out Nordstrom’s bridal section.
they have some beautiful dresses by designers for a steal.
(If that’s not your goal then check it out anyway, they’re pretty to look at 
)
dani - we are also doing a DW and are not feeding guests for every meal (we are covering a rehearsal dinner, reception dinner, and day after brunch that everyone is invited to). I sent out our 5 month newsletter that included a detailed itinerary and an expense breakdown so that there would be no misunderstandings about what we are paying for and what our guests need to cover.
you don’t need to apologize in advance for not paying, just make your communication clear so that everyone is on the same page.
Emma, I have new Jim Hjelm wedding gown I bought prematurely a few months ago that I need to get rid of. Email me if you are interested at infinitywithin at gmail dot com.
Emma - I bought a high-end Watters & Watters dress. The cost was great: $350. The dress also looks very bridal: oyster skirt with an ivory lace top. I love it…it’s exactly what I wanted and is lovely. They have a lot of bm dresses that I think are pretty “bridal” when you get them in the right color.
I think if you choose an elaborate bm dress in cream, ivory, white or some such color and then chose really simple bm dresses for your bridesmaids, it works. Also, if you can find an inexpensive tailor/seamstress, you can have them add crystals, beading or sequins.
Moxie - YES! it’s worth it. My favorite photos are of my husband with his groomsmen getting ready and having drinks…they’re all so handsome. It definitely adds to the storytelling of the entire day.
emma — i’m planning to buy a lazaro bm dress (http://www.lazarobridal.com/laz_bm/display_dress.php?imageno=3785&multimatch=x) to wear as a wedding gown. i would stay away from the very high end dresses, the companies are not very friendly to this idea. amsale will not sell a single white or ivory dress (you must order 2) and jenny yoo tacks on these extra fees for “special handling”. however, i’ve had very good experiences talking to salon openly about this for jim hjelm, lazaro, and watters. i also have heard good things about siri.
L8Blmr, one baker we interviewed priced cakes in 25 serving counts. Perhaps yours is doing the same? That must be an amazing cake at that price.
L8Blmr, I would read the contract that you may already have, to see if the baker has priced you by cake, per person, or per group pf people like Christine stated. Then bring it to the attention of your coordinator, and he/she should sort it out for you.
Dani, I think it’s more common practice for guest to expect the bride and groom to host other dinners and brunches, but this does not mean you have to. A great way to bring up this topic is by posting restaurant suggestions on your wedding website, or by including a list (or a travel brochure, which you can usually get free locally) in your welcome basket. It can also be spread word of mouth.
Moxie, we had a similar situation. My parents didn’t want to pay the extra money for the photographer to say an hour later, and we ended up missing photos of the Korean ceremony. Although, i was so happy to have had my photographer for the getting ready portion. Usually during the reception, other guests will all have their cameras out, so if you can fit the major part (like cake cutting, first dance, toasts) before your photographer leaves, it may work out for you.
Good luck everyone!
Moxie, I would say it’s not worth it. We only used 3 of our getting ready photos in our album, and they could easily have been staged.
Moxie — It seems to be de rigeur lately that you HAVE to have a photographer while you are getting ready. I’m sure this would have been scandalous just a few decades ago. For me, I wanted that quiet time alone with my thoughts, no extra people milling about, me worrying about how much skin was showing. So, that said, don’t feel obligated, but if it’s something you want, go for it. If that’s out of your budget, see if they’ll come down, or if they’ll take a 1-hour break in the middle of the day, or you can feed them more. Photographers are also NOT needed for the entire reception. Seriously. So think about time-shifting if needed to meet your budget. Good luck!
Susan — if your Chinese is already laid out and in vector format (where the letters are actually converted to “outlines” in a program like Adobe Illustrator, so they are individual images/shapes instead of a typeface), any printer should be able to print it. If you’re looking for someone to design in Chinese, however, I am not sure :-/
Hi Susan, my fiance and I used H2 Cards for our bilingual (Chinese/English) invitations - http://h2cards.com/. We didn’t want a very traditional Chinese wedding invitation, but we did want the bilingual printing. The customer service we got from H2 Cards (in SF Chinatown) was very good, and we’ve gotten a bunch of compliments on our invites.
We ended up choosing a simple ivory invite that had the English on top and Chinese on the bottom, and it had an overlay with leaves and the double happiness symbol.
Good luck!
What size portait do we need to order for our sign in table?? i don’t want it to seem puny, but also don’t want a HUGE pic of us for the house afterwards (we are using an engagement pic rather than bridal portrait for this). if you displayed a pic, what size did you use? Thanks!
Moxie,
That seems like a helluva lot for ONE extra hour from your photographer. I’m not sure how much you are paying this person total, but I would be curious to see why this photographer feels that his or her hour of time is worth $500. I realize it’s more than there time and that they are doing editing, etc. on the extra pictures afterward, but I think this person is taking advantage of the situation. I think there are lots of better options budget-wise, like hiring someone off Craigslist like others suggested, or asking a talented friend or family member to take a few “getting ready” shots. If your budget is somewhat limitless and $500 isn’t that big of a deal to you, that to each his own, but I just feel that is a borderline rip-off fee for one hour.
susan, you might be able to provide a printer/stationary company with a word doc in chinese and they can convert it for you (for a fee).
Moxxie -
Wow, I thought we splurged on our photographer spending $2200. He’s a great photographer and we should get some pretty amazing shots… I just recently added TWO hours to our package to cover ‘getting ready’ at a hotel twenty-five minutes up the coast, and we were only charged an additional $150. We live in San Diego, which isn’t a cheap area - I don’t know what to tell ya???
I’m trying to figure out how much food and drink is needed for the the cocktail hour. Is 3 per person passed hors d’oeuvres is too little for 1 hour cocktail hour? I’m worried that all the food will be gone in 20 minutes and guests will have nothing to munch on for the rest of the 40 minutes. If it’s too little, would 6 bites will be enough? For same money, I could have 6 bites or 2 bites with fruit display. What would you recommand?
Also, I’m having a 2 open bar. One with soft drink + beer + wine and another with hard liq + soft drink + beer + wine. Is there is an example or a formula to figure out how much of what I need to buy to stock the bar? The vendor is supplying the bartender but we are brining in our own drinks(including alch).
Thanks!
I am looking for a paper store that delivers to Canada. I need some nice 8.5 x 11 pearlised cardstock for my programs. Most of the online paper stores people have mentioned on here don’t deliver to Canada, unfortunately and the store I have found it at here is $1 a sheet, which seems a bit excessive.
Moxie…we just added an extra hour to our contract to cover the ‘getting ready’ shots. I was on the fence, too, and am still not 100% I made the right decision. I hope so, though!
Beehive question:
We are having a fall themed wedding with reds, golds, browns, oranges, ivories, etc. We picked out the gold chivari chairs for our tables, but are mixed on our centerpieces. This may seem crazy but, should we go with gold candelabras or silver? Everyone keeps saying silver, and I’m not all “matchy matchy” but I wonder if the chairs and the centerpieces will look wierd. On top of that, silver doesn’t seem fallish. I know that centerpieces aren’t meant to match chairs, so am I just going overboard? Do gold candelabras look cheap and out-dated (as several people have told me)? Sorry for the long question!
Moxie: I recently posted about that issue (an article called “Second Shooter”). I had the same issue as you — I didn’t want to pay hundreds more for an hour or two. I hired a photographer from Craigslist who was looking to get into wedding photography (already experienced in landscapes and other events). I got a CD of the pictures and in exchange, she got to build her portfolio.
Even though many people don’t use pictures from getting ready in their albums or will stage some, I love the pictures that she got because it helps me to remember the fun that me and my bridal party had that morning while we were getting ready. It also gives Mr. P a look at the fun we had, as he wasn’t there. If you can get it for free, why not? But otherwise, I wouldn’t pay that much more for an hour.
FWIW, our second photographer was at the hotel for more like 3.5 hours, so we definitely got bang for our [lack of] buck.
Does anyone know where I can get non-metallic dark gray cardstock (80# or more)? I’ve looked at all the usual suspects… papersource, paper presentation, paper and more, cards and pockets. Online or anywhere in New York City would be extremely helpful. Thanks!
question for the hive:
does etiquette dictate that i should send an invitation to people who are involved in the wedding party? do i have to send an invitation to a married couple even though the husband is my fiancee’s groomsman?
Grace - yes you should send an invitation to your participants - aren’t they the most important people that will be attending in the first place? I may be confused about your question. But I would be a little miffed if I spent all the time and money involved in being in someone’s wedding and did not receive an invitation.
l8Blmr- My bakery also counted in increments of 25, so if you went from 50 to 25 it should be a big difference in price. However, that might be the minimum for 3 layers. You might consider asking for only 2 layers and not worry about saving the top layer for your anniversary (you can buy a small cake in the same flavor from the same bakery next year).
Emma– I second the Watters & Watters. They have some beautiful and well made BM dresses that would work perfectly. And you can order just one (and get it at a discount from house of brides or netbride)
Hello:
I am looking for a ONE page spreadsheet that can be printed the day of the wedding with just the key info- phone numbers of all involved and columns for where everyone is at any given time. I saw a planner had one, and loved it. thanks!
[...] Julie wants to know - if you displayed an engagement portrait, what size did you use? She needs to order one but doesn’t want one that’s too small or too huge for the house afterwards. [...]
jamie - your alcohol question was asked in yesterday’s beehive. you can find the answer here: http://www.weddingbee.com/2006/10/25/open-question-alcohol/
good luck!
Card Stock Help—we got ours from Papermillstore.com. We bought 500 sheets, and had to pay almost $11 to ship to NY. Once it arrived, I wasn’t crazy about the shade/color but kept it anyway because of the shipping costs. I would suggest requesting samples before committing to an order. http://www.thepapermillstore.com/home.php?cat=711 Good luck!!
I guess I am out of character, just realized the flower veggie theme.. oops I just thought I would comment on #27 it is very easy to make a who’s who where spreadsheet…. I could send you a template if you would like.
Paperandmore.com is a great source for cardstock - I found one in stone, which is kind of like a medium gray? http://www.paperandmore.com/card_stock_stone.html
Beehive
Feature Launched: Aug 31, 2006
About: A forum for readers to post questions and get feedback from the hive, aka the weddingbee community.
Moxie–one of the bees just posted the prep photos she got for free via Craigslist, using a newish photographer looking to expand his/her portfolio. You might consider that route.