Wedding Blog
I think in my fantasy bubble of what wedding-planning is, I’ve wanted to believe that the months leading up to the big day would be carefree and easy. That my hardest times would be debating between round or rectangular tables. As all of you know, this fantasy is far from reality.
In many ways these months (wow, I’ve been planning ten months now!), have been truly wonderful. As Mr. Peppermint and I have been moving toward the big day, we have grown closer and the relationship deepened. However, the part of the fantasy that has not come true is that time doesn’t stop. While the relationship and marriage have taken center stage, the other facets of my life have not dissolved into the background (nor should they).
Within this last year, I’ve had a number of friends make big life changes, our beloved family dog passed away and the health of someone very close to me has worsened. Somehow, the design of the matchbox doesn’t seem so important anymore. I’m still excited about the wedding and I feel so lucky to have my family and friends around me. But, I can’t help but feel selfish about how focused I am on the wedding when there are all these changes around me. I want to make sure I’m setting the right priorities (sorry, china pattern, you don’t top the list…)
Do any of you out there feel the same way? Are you having trouble balancing wedding-planning with the other aspects of your life? How have you been coping?
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YES!
I went to the post office today to get stamps for my invites, and realized that I didn’t even ask about the selection to make the outside of my invites look *perfect* (like we want everything to be!)
I had a big revelation driving away from the post office: the stamps on my invites suddenly didn’t really matter. The image of a perfectly calligraphied, hand-cancelled and embossed return address wedding invitation became an unrealized (and almost ridiculous) dream to me. I realized that all I really care about in the next ten weeks up to my wedding is preparing for our marriage, and that our friends and family will be there with us to celebrate (in good health God willing) 
i think you are totally right…in the grand scheme of things, the wedding day is only one day. our day is still a while away, but it’s so easy to get sucked into all the details. always so good to take a step back and look at the big picture. thanks for the reminder, miss peppermint!
heh. I’m in the middle of registering for the Foreign Service Exam (i want to take the December test). But am I writing my personal narrative? Nope, I’m reading WeddingBee.
I’ve had to budget time into my evenings to get everything accomplished, and with my exam, remind myself that this is something that will effect the rest of our lives even more than the wedding will be…I think I should go pack for my business trip tomorrow.
It’s very easy to get sucked into wedding madness, especially in our society today. With all of the various things geared towards engaged couples, it’s impossible to resist looking at one more thing.
My personal experience with wedding planning was very difficult due to my grandfather becoming very ill and dying a few months before the wedding. Wedding planning was basically on hold as much as it could be until after he passed… I couldn’t bear to do those things with him so ill. The wedding itself really is just one day– yes, it’s one of the most important days of your life and one you’ve spent countless hours planning for and dreaming about– but in the end, it IS just a day. It’s the time after that day that matter, as you and your husband begin your new life together. Will somebody really notice (and remember 20 years from now) that the font on your invitation didn’t match the font on your menu card?? Probably not.
What I’m saying is this… I think all brides-to-be get a little wrapped up in their wedding planning, and that’s ok. It’s fun, and it’s YOUR day… go ahead!! But at the same time, don’t turn your head to everything else going on in the world- just try to find some balance between the two.
Good luck with everything, Miss Peppermint, and I’m sorry to hear about the sad things that have occurred during your engagement. Just enjoy the rest of your planning…. it will go by quickly!!
throughout my wedding planning, me and my detail-oriented self have gone to great lengths to make sure every detail is perfectly coordinated. i got absorbed into DIYing invitations, importing flowers from australia, buying oufits for our wedding party, etc.
but just last month, my mom’s health took a turn for the worse and it looked like she would be unable to make the trip for my destination wedding in September. it was a sobering reality for me. there was no way i could get married without my mom, but everyone had already booked travel arrangements. i didn’t know what to do and i didn’t even want to think about it.
but my focus became my mom’s health, and wedding planning practically halted even though the wedding is right around the corner.
now, my mom’s health has stabilized, and it looks like she WILL be able to make the trip after all. HURRAY! but because we have done nothing wedding-related for the past month, there is so much that didn’t (and might not ever) get done.
but i don’t care. our venue is booked. i have my dress. if we don’t have centerpieces, favors, programs, and flowers that are perfectly coordinated, that’s ok. the friends and family we love will be there (including my mom), and that’s what truly matters.
I’ve noticed that I don’t want to be a bride who can only talk about her wedding, so as I’ve started seeing people again after summer, I’ve made a conscious effort to be a bit more diverse in my conversations. I find that if I talk about other things, then the wedding doesn’t so easily consume the rest of my life either, because I want to have other things to talk about.
It’s pretty sobering when you’re so happy and excited and then reality comes rushing in. I’ve had a good friend (my moh) and my brother both enter into divorces this year. Both after less than a year of marriage. The scary part? Both were cheated on. My fiance’s sister’s marriage is on the rocks as well. Makes you really take a hard look…that’s for sure.
We’ve also had deaths in the family as well…so it’s tough. I agree with all above that all that really matters is that those you love will be there, if they can. And that you have a wonderful future to look forward to after that day is over. You never really know what lies ahead after all!
Great post. We’ve been married 2-1/2 weeks, and one of my favorite things about life right now is that it’s stabilized and back to normal. We still talk about the wedding, but it no longer occupies a primary place in my thoughts. Looking back, I don’t really know how to avoid that except with self-issued reminders such as these. Life goes on!
After 8 months of meticulous planning, my apartment was broken into when my fiancee was taking me to the airport (our wedding was out of state, I was getting there early.) He left for 45 minutes, and when he came home, EVERYTHING was stolen. There were 4 breakins at the complex that morning. He had to call me at the airport, and I was hysterical. I know, I know, everyone wants to tell me that its great no one got hurt. But at the time, they stole our PASSPORTS, wedding rings, my fiance’s Rolex watch, and all of his new honeymoon clothes. We were able to use our birth certificates to get into the British Virgin Islands, thanks goodness. And he bought new rings that day. And I had renters insurance. But it’s just a reminder to keep windows and doors locked at all times. Now, I am in a home, and I keep my monitored alarm set EVERYTIME I leave. This stuff does happen to real people like us.
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Miss Peppermint, LA/Palm Springs
Age and Occupation: 23, Actress
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 24, Web Producer
Engagement Date: October 21, 2006
Wedding Date: December 2007
Blogging Since: July 2, 2007
Venue: historic estate overlooking the heart of Palm Springs
About Me: I am a Southern California native who enjoys cooking, writing, travel and all things in the arts. Mr. Peppermint and I met in college and he proposed on our four year anniversary in one of our most special places, Joshua Tree National Park. We're having a destination wedding in Palms Springs that will incorporate tradition as well as reflect our personalities!
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