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Hello Bees!
I have an open question and need everyone’s help before I go ahead and book our venue. I need to decide this week so your help is greatly appreciated.
FI and I are thinking of having our wedding in December. We’d love to celebrate this joyous event with our loved ones around the holidays. We were thinking the first or second week of December to give way to those travelling from out of state.
My question is : Would you recommend a December wedding considering your guests’ holiday expenses being a factor in whether they can afford to come or not? This is something that’s been worrying us. To those who have experienced it, did you have more REGRETS than expected?
Thank you so much for your help and I’ll be waiting for your responses.
WinterBride2Be
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Share this post: Open Question: December Wedding
I am going to my fiance’s cousin’s wedding this Christmas (Dec 29th) and it is stopping me from spending christmas with my family, as I cannot afford to do both. It was a little disappointing, but it was important to my future family-in-law that we go.
I got married in December and I don’t think it posed a problem…for us Christmastime was always centered around family and friends, so it was nice for all of our friends and family to be able to be altogether for once around Christmastime. I think it’s already considerate that you’re having it a couple of weeks before Christmas, so I think you’ll be fine. Winter weddings are truly wonderful 
if it was earlier in the month of dec., it may be easier for some to travel but harder for those that may have to choose. personally for me having a wedding closer to xmas like the weekend before or after is easier since then it would be an opportunity to spend time w/ mom side of the family since dad side is still overseas.
Cousin is marrying 2 days before Christmas and it’s a no-go for all the family that lives OOT.
Weddings during the Thanksgiving through New Year’s wedding could have low turnout among guest who have to travel or are out of vacation time or who can’t be away from work so much in one month. We bumped our wedding to prevent this problem. Of course, this is perfect for a couple wanting to invite a lot of people but host (pay for) a small intimate affair.
If the couples’ families are from a culture/religion that doesn’t do Christmas, etc., then they might be safe, enjoying what for them is off-peak.
My sister got married in the second week of December in 1994. Most of the family was from out of town, and we were amazed that the turn out was so great! They didn’t scimp on the gifts either… I think that when you get older, you expect and plan for weddings and things, or you have credit and other such funds for last minute events. I can’t say that this would be universally true, but my sisters wedding was a blast. The venue had a great big fire place inside, which was perfect for the winter time…
Now you on the other hand… We are so stressed/out of money right now, and the wedding isn’t until October. Good luck with your own christmas gift plans, winter bride
My wedding is on December 29th of this year. One reason to choose the date after christmas is that it is easier to book venues and vendors after christmas so I don’t have to compete with company christmas parties. But I think the main reason is that my overseas guests are the ones who are actually requesting for a December wedding (some from Australia, where December is actually their Kids’ summer vacation). Other than that I probably wouldn’t have my wedding in December because it is peak travel time of the year. More expensive than summer travel time. I think the best is to ask your possible out-of-towners or overseas guests for their input on this matter.
Obviously, I’m a bit biased, but I think December is a great time for a wedding 
How many of your guests are traveling from out of town? In planning my December wedding, while it is a “destination”, it’s still an hour and a half drive for about two-thirds of the guests and thus travel wasn’t a top concern (though still important)
Hi Ms Peppermint
Some are travelling from out of state (LA, SFO, Canada, etc). Although majority of the family are here which is a big weight off our chest.
Did you get more REGRETS than expected?
I wanted to get married in November, because I love Thanksgiving and I love the cool weather and the family togetherness. We are getting married in October, though, and here’s why.
I come from a divorced family. My FH’s family mostly lives in the DFW area, and my family mostly hails from Houston (approximately 250 miles apart.) But I felt selfish that if my brothers (now grown and living out of state) chose to attend my wedding, they would have to miss Thanksgiving with their father, as they probably couldn’t afford the expense (or the vacation days) to travel to DFW for a wedding, then Houston to see the other side of their family (or vice versa.)
I wanted all my family around, but I didn’t want to be selfish and make them (and my other friends) choose between my wedding and the rest of their family. So we moved it back to October, giving everyone enough time between all events to be able to handle them all.
I personally think that a December wedding would be beautiful, but there also is another problem that it might pose to some people you may want to invite- it is the end of semester for most college/universities, which could make it difficult for anyone in college, graduate school or who is affiliated with a university. This would be a matter not so much of expense, but the lack of available time.
We are getting married on Dec 1st (at a destination wedding in Florida) and have been very surprised by all of the people who have said they are coming. We’re really close to Thanksgiving so that could have been a problem, but the majority of those who are attending do not travel out of town for the holiday. Definitely something to consider for those you really want to be there. It’s worked out great for us.
My parents married 12/29/67 and had almost a 100% attendance! Many moons later, I also married on Dec. 29th and again, practically every single person invited attended the wedding - including those from OOT. Christmas is a beautiful time of the year, one of my favorites. The venue was decorated with traditional red and green tasteful garb and was accented with all white flowers.
I think it really depends on how far your guests have to travel. I agree that the cost probably isn’t going to be a factor for most of your guests, it is the time that will prevent them from coming. I agree with Meg about the 20 somethings in the crowd and I also wonder about those with young children - what about school Christmas concerts, etc? If the weather is bad most people with smaller children will stay home rather than risk it on icy roads.
That said, I also LOVE winter weddings and think that a smaller crowd might actually lend itself better to the warm, intimate feel. In the end you will have to take a good look at your guest list and try to guess what the chances are of each guest coming. For those who may not be able to you need to ask yourself if the situation would be different in the summer and whether or not your day would not be the same without those people. Then you can decide what is best for you as a couple.
Fi and I were originally planning on having a December wedding and I was so excited. However we ran into a bunch of problems with our venue. They have a huge Christmas tree up at that time and could only seat half as many guests as we had planned on!
We loved our venue and didn’t want to give it up so we decided to switch dates. Both our families were very excited about the Christmas date.
We usually have approximately 4 weddings a summer - so I would welcome a wedding in the “off season” and look forward to it.
It would be a great change.
We are getting married on Dec. 29th of this year. Most people that live out of state are planning on stopping by on their way home from visiting their family for christmas. one of my friend’s mom complained to me that i was stealing her daughter early, but this was while i was spending the week helping her get ready for her wedding, so i don’t feel too bad
for us, most of our family lives in state (or within driving distance). family that lives out of state are planning on coming in and spending the holiday with their sisters/parents/etc. that they haven’t been back to see for many years, so it actually worked out well to get the family together for the holidays.
For planning WAY ahead, my parents’ Dec 20 wedding made it nearly impossible to get a hall for their 25th anniversary party.
Having a wedding around the holidays does pose a few problems with attendance and what-not. Our wedding is in January to hopefully get past the holiday complications. It will make Christmas difficult - I hope nobody is expecting anything nice from us!
We were invited to a wedding on Dec 11th couple years ago and honestly, to this day, I think it was very selfish of the couple. We had to fly from NYC to VA, pay for a hotel, car and gift two weeks before Christmas. And it wasn’t even nice there ( no winter wonderland) just kind of blah…not quite winter, not quite warm either. While I understand that it is very personal decision and you don’t have to attend, given the choice I would opt for non December wedding, esp if you have guests from OOT. And of course same goes for those who live in FL or plan wedding in Caribbean where it’s too hot and too dangerous (huricanes) in the summer/fall. Just my opinion.
Selfish is a bit much don’t you think? I’m not downing the way you felt as I’m sure you were inconvenienced, but as you said, you didn’t have to go. No one twisted your arm. And in my opinion, weddings SHOULD be “selfish” for the couple. It is THEIR celebration of THEMSELVES. I believe it is selfish of you to think otherwise. My wedding will be on December 12th which is mine and my fiance’s anniversary. I’m not changing my special day because it inconviences a couple people. If they are that upset about my celebration, they don’t have to come - and honestly, I wouldn’t want them to. Luckily, I have very few OOT guests and I also live in Florida so it’s almost like a mini vacation for them.
Sorry, but your post really got me heated.
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