Wedding Blog
Ah, the garter toss. The age old tradition…
I never really thought much about the garter toss. I never was one to fantasize about my wedding day–but even if I did, this was never one of the symbols of wedded bliss that I thought about. At most, it provided a goofy picture of my dad for my parent’s wedding album (see exhibit A, below)
exhibit A
Before I could decide whether to forgo the toss, I decided to do some good ol’ fashioned Internet research. I mean, where did this tradition come from, anyway??
As it would have it (according to HCC Garters), it began in the 14th Century when:
“It is said that in the days of old the bride and groom had to consummate their marriage. But in order for it to be proven it was common tradition to have people like family and friends come into the room with the couple to witness it. The “witnesses” would obtain the garter as “proof” of the consummation. Also having any article of the under garments was considered to be good luck so sometimes things would get out of hand in the newly wed’s bedroom as crazed onlookers snatched at clothing to get for good luck. This was not appreciated much by the bride nor many grooms, hence the groom started tossing the garter out so that no one would need to obtain it themselves.“
Romantic, huh?
It seems that the roots of this tradition (while providing a terrific photo-op!) seem a bit antiquated. Nonetheless, I can’t help but feel a tad torn–it is tradition…right? Okay, I will confess that Mama & Papa Peppermint would be disappointed if Mr. Peppermint and I skipped it…
Are any of you continuing the tradition? Why or why not?
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Share this post: The Great Garter Debate
omg, i love the photo of your dad! we actually decided to go against tradition because most of our friends were already engaged/married. i didn’t want to single anyone out from the crowd. i thought our guests would be disappointed but no one noticed!
We are having the garter toss- with “Let’s Get it On” playing in the background. Cheesy I know, but it will be fun. I just made my FI promise not to act stupid or use his teeth!
We’re skipping the bouquet toss and garter toss - just not my thing. Neither has happened at the last 4 weddings I’ve attended either.
We didn’t, and although I fully didn’t care about not tossing the bouquet (for some reason, that’s just torture for women–guys truly seem to have fun witht he garter toss) I kind of wish I’d even WORN a garter. 
Both events are meant to be all in fun, I think, but the hubby didn’t want to climb up my dress and I fully supported that. There are ways around that, though, if one still chooses to toss the garter.
So, we didn’t do it and I didn’t miss it at all…but when my brother caught the garter at a friends wedding this weekend, it made me wish a little that we had done it! 
We did the same as Mrs. Bell Pepper. My husband and I were pretty much the last in our family/friend circle to tie the knot and we did not want to single anyone out. We decided to do an aniversary dance instead. We had all the couples dance to a song and the DJ elimnated couples based on how many years they have been married - the last couple and winner is the couple who has been married the longest. It is a touching way to celebrate others who have had success in keeping their marriage.
nope…because I had never even heard of it until well after I had gone to many, many weddings that didn’t include it…so I never even thought it was a tradition.
No garter toss, but everyone from the wedding is invited to our hotel suite to make sure we do the deed that night. (ha ha Just Kidding, “hey aunt carol look at me!”)
I’m on the fence with the garter/bouquet toss. But, ewww…the history of the garter toss is AWFUL!! I hope to forget that one soon.
I’ve always hated the garter toss. There’s no way I would ever agree to do it at my wedding. Now that I know the sordid history of the tradition, I’m doubly glad that I’m not doing it.
NO way Jose! I don’t like the associated traditions of either activity. We have been really good about researching why certain wedding activities are done and these two seemed really obsolete to us.
We aren’t doing the garter toss or the bouquet toss. It’s mostly because I spent way too many weddings as a single gal forced to join my fellow unmarrieds on the dance floor to catch the bouquet. I always found it so embarassing. So I’m not subjecting my girls to that! Although I do admit, once I caught the bouquet and it was fun to have the guy who caught the garter put it on my leg… probably not as much fun for him though (sorry I didn’t shave, whoever you are)!
We’ll be doing the garter “retrieval” (because my FI’s a ham who’s looking forward to it), but instead of the “toss” we’re going to add it to our anniversary dance (almost everyone in our group is married) and give it “for good luck” to the couple who’s been married the shortest (not including us).
If if done without the groom putting his head up the bride’s skirt (yuck, I’ve seen this!) can be OK.
The matching up of the bouquet catcher with the garter catcher, to place the garter on the upper thigh of the former, can be iffy. If it’s going to be grossly inappropriate (one is too young, they are brother/sister, etc.) then skip this part.
If there is another engaged couple at the reception, would be very cute to hand off the garter and bouquet directly to them so he can put the garter on her.
I’d rather not, but my FI is all over it… ugh. Oh well! Compromises
hmm…eew?
I’m not going to do it.
To be honest I don’t think anyone really knows the history of the garter toss or what it symbolises anymore, I think it’s just a fun tradition now. I think it’s okay for the meaning of a tradition to shift over time and I don’t place too much stock in the historical roots of it. My fiance would feel like he was missing out if we didn’t do the garter toss and I think the bouquet toss will be fun too so we’re doing it.
What I REALLY want to put a stop to is the cake-smashing in each others’ faces after we cut the first piece, which my fiance also thinks is fun and is hell-bent on doing! I am not exactly in agreement with him.
Oh Laura S… I feel you, girl.
I have spent all of our engagement (and possibly longer) trying to convince my fiance that it is not going to be fun or cool to smash cake in my face at the wedding. And after 18+ months, I think I finally got through to him.
And then.
At the shower (which was co-ed), I’d had a few pints, and while he and I were cutting the cake, I smeared icing on his face.
I am so dead.
in the past, it’s been tough getting any of the guys or girls to come out for the bouquet and garter tosses…SO..we will entice them by tying money to each of them. surely they’ll rush out! it’ll be funny to see who will really dash for the items!!
Oh, wow! Now I’m really glad I decided to skip this. We are also not doing a bouquet toss. We are replacing these with an anniversary dance.
i actually really want pictures of my groom going up my giant skirt! i’m totally gonna make funny faces. and i think it’s hilarious when grooms come out with giant granny panties to show off the to crowd. what can i say, i’m cheeseball like that.
I’m still on the fence about the garter thing. Doesn’t really do anything for me, but I’m worried I’ll regret not doing it. Plus, the fiance can’t pass up an opportunity to be a ham. Definately doing the bouquet toss-I’ve dreamed of it since the first time I watched the end of My Best Friend’s Wedding!!
We got married this past weekend, and skipped the garter/bouquet stuff. My parents thought I was nuts, but I didn’t miss it at all. Plus at my friend’s wedding last summer, the girls went NUTS for the bouqet, and my friend got someone’s blood on her dress! It was crazy. We were going to do the anniversary dance… but for some reason that never happened. Thanks DJ.
We also skipped on the messy cake smashing. We fed eachother the cake, but no smashing.
We’re not doing that or bouquet toss for the same reason a few others have said — we’re one of the last in our group to get hitched, so it would surely be like that episode of Sex and The City when the bouquet falls on the ground and everyone just stares at it, like it’s diseased.
No garter toss or bouquet toss here. Most of our guests are married (I can only think of one male who won’t be married, all girls are married), and it really just isn’t our thing.
Absolutely skipping the garter and bouquet toss. I don’t need my parents or my grandparents to see my new husband dive under my dress and emerge with part of my underwear. Thankfully, FI feels the same way. The bouquet toss is just embarassing. I’m one of the last of my girlfriends to get married, and it was no fun being out on the dance floor with Aunt Millie and a bunch of 7 year old girls. I have no intention of putting any of the single women at my wedding through that.
I had heard that it was tossed as a distraction so that the bride could get away in one piece. Naturally I forget where I read this.
My FI said he’d rather skip the whole garter thing - which is fine with me. I am considering doing a fortune bouquet toss which I think is nice because more than one person will walk away with a piece of the bouquet.
I have a lot of single friends so I’m going to make sure the ladies are on the dance floor for the toss by having it right after my sorority’s sweetheart song :).
We are not doing it.
i like the idea of handing it off to another engaged couple there… we aren’t doing a dance, so there won’t be a dance floor for people to “congregate” at for the bouquet or garter toss anyway. maybe we’ll just do the “retrieval” and then hand it off to one of the groomsmen who will be getting married a month after us… thanks for the idea, Moi!
I wasn’t crazy about the public removal thing, but we kept it tame. And b/c we, too, were among the last to get hitched in our circle, and didn’t want to single out the unmarried, we opened the bouquet and garter tosses up to ALL the guests. The aunts seemed to really dig this! (I HATED going to weddings where they called all the singles up…and if no one came, they started reading a list of all the singles. YUCK!)
We didn’t do the “put the garter on the girl who catches the bouquet” thing. (I’d never even seen that until I went to a NY wedding a few years ago.) We had our emcee tell the guests we were opening it up to everyone b/c of the original thought that you would have good luck if you caught either, and that our happiness would “rub off” on you — I liked that sentiment: that we wanted to share our happiness with others.
nashgirl — glad you can use the idea. This worked so well at our wedding. Anyway, once an engaged girl catches the bouquet, no guy wants to be caught dead putting a garter on her in front of her fiance!
I wore a chipao (which has pretty high slits on both sides) during the garter removal, so Mr Ant didn’t have to stick his head under my dress or anything.
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Miss Peppermint, LA/Palm Springs
Age and Occupation: 23, Actress
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 24, Web Producer
Engagement Date: October 21, 2006
Wedding Date: December 2007
Blogging Since: July 2, 2007
Venue: historic estate overlooking the heart of Palm Springs
About Me: I am a Southern California native who enjoys cooking, writing, travel and all things in the arts. Mr. Peppermint and I met in college and he proposed on our four year anniversary in one of our most special places, Joshua Tree National Park. We're having a destination wedding in Palms Springs that will incorporate tradition as well as reflect our personalities!
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