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Last night I had a dream that Mr. Peony and I were on our honeymoon and having the time of our lives. When I woke up, I couldn’t help but be sad…..because we had just recently decided that we will not be going on a honeymoon.
When I first started budgeting for our wedding, I was taking national averages of vendor costs. It never occurred to me that a New York wedding would cost so much more. Some of the things we’re doing, such as the charter bus to and from the reception, are not necessary but I really want it as a courtesy to our many guests who are arriving from all over the world.
In addition, Mr. Peony and I just signed a contract for a condo! I honestly did not think we would find something we both love this fast. The rest of the nation may be in a real estate recession, but the NYC area is still red-hot. We knew that if we didn’t grab it, we wouldn’t be able to find anything comparable for a long time.
So with all our money going towards a wedding that I under-budgeted, as well as a place to call our own, we really do not have the financial resources for a honeymoon after the wedding. It’s doable, but we (painfully) decided that we would rather start our marriage with some savings rather than with none, or worse, in debt.
The reason this upsets me so much is because I had been looking forward to our honeymoon even before we got engaged. Although we’ve been together for almost 4 years now, we have never taken a vacation together. We’ve been on many trips with friends, but never just us two. And when we started talking about getting engaged, we decided that we would not go on any sort of romantic getaway until our honeymoon - it would just be one more thing to look forward to in marriage. We had also set a destination: the Greek Isles. I’ve wanted to visit Greece ever since I studied art history in high school, and we figured that it would be the perfect blend of culture, relaxation, and fun.
I’m still upset about the decision, but I believe that it’ll be better for us in the long run. Instead of Greece, I suggested that we take a few days off and relax at our new condo. Mr. Peony will be moving in after closing (which will be late this year) but I decided not to do so until after we get married. That way, he can officially carry me over the threshold! It’ll be another thing to look forward to in our marriage.
I still really want to go to Greece for the full 10 days we had originally planned. So we will start saving for this dream vacation after we’re married and settled in - we will not be taking a shorter, less expensive honeymoon to another destination because we want to save for the big one.
Have you sacrificed anything for your wedding?
I applaud you for making such a mature decision. We’re also considering foregoing a honeymoon, and it’s nice to know we’re not the only ones. A few day around home to relax and enjoy ourselves seems like enough. The wedding is already such a big present to ourselves, I think I can be happy without more. I also wouldn’t trust myself to plan a perfect wedding and a perfect vacation simultaneously.
You will love your Greek vacation when you do get to go and feel guilt-free about spending all that you want. Don’t get hung up on the exact timeline!
My sanity. I’ve sacrificed my sanity. 
You’re doing the right thing. In a few years (or less!) you guys will be able to take a faboolous vacation thanks to the savings and the wise decision to not spend it all on something frivolous (as desired as that frivolity may be!) right now. It will be soooo worth it!
Congrats on the new condo!
I agree with Faith - I’ve sacrificed my sanity and my patience too!
Btw, I’m not sure how much your charter buses cost but for a cheaper alternative - check out Grey Line buses.
We may possibly end up doing this as well. It is the best decision (really it is - keep telling yourself that!)
Did the two of you think about having a mini-honeymoon? Go someplace local but nice (a cottage or cute B&B) it’s someplace nearby that you can visit frequently and do a honeymoon upgrade when you can afford it!
This may possibly be what we end up doing.
We are also postponing our honeymoon (for both money and timing issues). Instead we are doing some “mini” moons domestically both before and after our wedding.
We didn’t go on our honeymoon because we were both so busy with work at the time. It’s probably one of the biggest regrets we have. It has been two years and we just can’t find the time to go.
What you are doing is admirable.
Most people would write it off and say “We must honeymoon whatever the cost, we will deal with it later”,and then go into the marriage in debt.
It’s a hard decision but it’s a smart one and how proud you must be to have a beautiful wedding to look forward to and be able to say you are a homeowner.
Congrats!
Our wedding? Videographer, lighting, and it looks like an open bar is not in the cards. 
With Asian weddings, you typically receive cash gifts. Maybe what you get at the wedding will be enough for your honeymoon.
Have you thought about doing one of the honeymoon type registries? That way your guests can give towards a honeymoon instead of other gifts?
What about doing a honeymoon registry? My friends are doing one through Ethan Allen, but there’s a lot of other great sites out there that offer this.
Thanks everyone for your support! Dots - I keep telling myself this too whenever I get wistful thinking about how nice a honeymoon might be.
Some people have suggested that we register for a honeymoon, but we have so little household items between us that our registry is growing quite large - I don’t want to impose on our guests.
One friend even suggested that I take all cash/monetary gifts and put it towards the honeymoon but my parents have graciously offered to lend us a little money for the money and we want to pay them back.
I don’t think we’ll take mini-moons - we would rather wait and save up for my dream vacation to Greece!
Besides, we can stay in our condo after the wedding, open and organize gifts, decorate, play video games, and enjoy each other’s company. 
Oops, I meant to write, “my parents offered to lend us a little money for the wedding”
Congrats on the new home!! SOO exciting. Mr. Eggplant just got approved for our new condo too! I TOTALLY feel you on the real estate prices. SF & NY are killer markets!!
Mr. Eggplant told me to enter every free honeymoon contest possible. You might want to try too… You never know what could happen.
We’re more than likely going to forego a traditional honeymoon as well — we’ll head to the mountains for a few days, and then take a beach trip later next year. Like you, Miss Peony, it came down to costs. We’re buying a home in the next couple of months, and we just can’t swing all of these expenses at once.
Honestly - unless you spend oodles in the island Greece isn’t all THAT great. There are plenty of places closer to home where you could have a relaxing vacation for a honeymoon - if just a weekend and later, when you are financially ready go on a more “adventurous” vacation.
Why don’t you try a weekend honeymoon - somewhere you can go back to - Lake George in NY? Vermont? Washington DC (the museums are free!) Something closer?
we are holding off on our honeymoon too. probably at least a year later.
I’m w/ you Miss Peony. We’re not having a honeymoon right away either. It’s a lot to plan all at once–and pay for!
Hey Miss Peony,
How about if you registered for a honeymoon? It’s a very popular option and it’s great for people who cannot afford it because they are paying for a house and/or the wedding. If you’d rather not register for a honeymoon, try to do a small getaway, just to feel like it’s a vacation together.
I just wrote about the same thing actually, we’re not taking a honeymoon right away either. Just like NYC, the bay area housing market is tough and we bought instead of budgeting for a honeymoon. But we will have many years ahead and with the stability and equity in a purchased home, will be able to take trips and vacations in the future!
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Mrs. Peony, New York Age and Occupation: 27, Marketing Coordinator Fiance's Age and Occupation: 30, QA Engineer Engagement Date: June 28, 2007 Wedding Date: April 18, 2008 Venue: The Fountainhead Blogging Since: August 7, 2007 About Me: Both Mr. Peony and I are huge computer nerds, and our conversations usually consist of the latest gadgets, programming languages, and video games. At the same time, I can also be very girly with an obsession with handbags, makeup, and high heels. And art! I've studied studio art extensively, almost majored in art history, and freelance as a web and graphics designer. Mr. Peony and I are having a ball of a time planning a wedding for 250(!) guests, doing our best to infuse our personalities (geeky chic) with the wishes of our very traditional Asian parents.
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