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Is anyone else as big of a Friends fan as me? Remember the episode with Rachel’s 30th birthday, the one when she plans out a timeline (get married by this age, have kids by that age, etc)?
I admit that I have an ideal timeline. And I’ve had one even before I was engaged.
I want to have my first kid at or just before 30 for health reasons. I also want a couple of years between my wedding and having kids, so that we can enjoy being newlyweds and our DINK (double income, no kids) status for a bit. That means that I would need to get married at 27 or 28. Which works out perfectly in my case!
Some may say that having a timeline is dangerous - you may set yourself up for disappointment because you never know what’s in store for the future. In addition, you may miss out on opportunities if your eyes are only focused on that goal. However, I like to play things safe. I like being organized, having a plan (with extensive lists, charts, and diagrams
) and slowly planning for the future.
Mr. Peony and I started dating when I was just 23. But when things got serious (ie talking about possibly getting married in the distant future), I initiated a timeline talk with him. I told him exactly what my goals were in terms of a relationship and starting a family. I told him that if our goals/timelines did not match, then we need to seriously think about compromising or even rethink our relationship. This may sound harsh, but I’ve seen too many relationships suffer or even end after years and years of being together because the couple was not on the same page.
To tell you the truth I think Mr. Peony was a little freaked out. What guy wouldn’t be? He confessed that before we started dating, he didn’t really see himself getting married before 35. However, he understood where I was coming from and told me that if things ended up working out for us, he wouldn’t mind pushing that forward a few years.
Do you have a timeline? Did things work out the way you originally intended?
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