Wedding Blog

You aren’t the only person this has happened too. I think it’s a pretty common occurrence. Several of my ex boyfriends contacted me after I got engaged as well. Some of them heard about it on the grapevine and others googled me and saw our website. One even e-mailed me and told me that he’d always love me. I replied, “Thank you for the emotional support. Life changes. Take care.” I never heard from him again. I even shared that moment with my fiancé and we talked about it. It was important for me to feel as though I could share that with him. I think sometimes men need more closure then women do. I know that I was always perfectly fine with walking away and never talking to the guy again. But, over my single-life, these guys would come back and the oddest times! What they needed? Closure! It’s weird that as men actually grow up, and then sometimes get to the point when they need to say “sorry” or reach back out… I’ve just never cared to do that I guess. Oh well. Life is filled with many stages and each stage that involved a relationship will always be close, but is in the PAST. Good luck with your countdown!

i’m actually friends with one of my exes brother [we all worked together before] so that tends to lead towards some awkwardness but luckily the brother does a great job at being a block for me.

other than that, so far i’ve been in the clear. hopefully it’ll stay that way. we all ended on fairly good terms but i just don’t want to deal with that. especially since i know it makes the bf very uncomfortable. it’s kind of, they had their chance, so why now? but we’re all adults now so we can handle these things civily. at least that’s the hope. lol.

though i can’t help but feel a little puffed up knowing they came looking for me. bad me. so very bad.

Yes, I got a bunch of calls while I was engaged… even from ex’s that had gotten married. It’s a rite of passage to have these courtesy calls for closure, I suppose. I just handled each call very politely and was sure to focus more on HAPPY NOW than UNHAPPY THEN. You never know who might turn out to be a worthwhile contact later in life, so might as well prove you are an adult about it and be gracious and kind, even if it’s just to help THEM have closure that has been eluding them.

I think I agree with Louise, this happens to quite a few people (at least in my circle). I have a good relationship with most of my exes (at least the ones I am in contact with) so it didn’t perturb me too much when this came up - except when I bump into ex-boyfriends on the street who I haven’t talked to and who haven’t heard the news. I had one ex that I bumped into who invited me out, and when I told him I was engaged went so far as to say “Well he’s not here right now, you can still come over.” Uh.. no.

I had 2 encounters with my exes this past weekend!!! One called me on Friday (he was getting married the next day) to thank me for everything — it was a nice but kind’a awkward conversation. And the other I saw during my bachelorette party this weekend - this one I turned and hid from. funny….

I had an ex email me shortly after I got engaged, asking me out to dinner in a friendly way. It was pure coincidence, since we do not move in the same circles, so he did not know. It felt very weird, because I met my fiance only a few months after the ex broke my heart by telling me he didn’t want to get married, and much of the early relationship with my fiance was colored by my getting over that. I was really torn, because I wanted to know what he wanted to say to me–really, I wanted to know if he regretted losing me! But I couldn’t do it without first discussing it with my fiance, and I realized that a) he didn’t want to hear about it and b) I didn’t really care enough to bring it up. I didn’t need to see the ex. Because, like you, I am so much happier with my fiance. He absolutely loves me for me, I never feel uncomfortable with him, or that I am pretending to be someone I am not. No matter how ugly or mean I feel, he thinks I am amazing and wonderful; I still can’t believe it sometimes. Yeah, I loved the ex when we were together, and it broke my heart that he didn’t want to get married…but I look at my fiance, and I think my ex did me a favor by being honest. So I told my ex I couldn’t see him, and that I was engaged. He congratulated me, and I haven’t heard from him since. But I hope he’s doing well.

hmm none of my exes popped out of the woodwork. when my relationships end i make it pretty clear why. heh. and if any of them have ever tried reconciliation, i’ve always told them, it ended before for a reason. so none of them would have the guts to say anything to me.

but. his exes did pop out of the woodwork. like in droves. it was really bizzare. but fortunately he was not interested in entertaining any of their questions. and since his exes are all just a little insane (because nice guys are also prone to dating the wrong woman), our wedding information was very low key and password protected

Only one - from a devastating dumping I received about six months before I met my FH. We’d lived together almost 3 years, he’d cheated for the last six months, left me to have a child and eventually marry the mutual (married) friend he’d cheated with . . . and now, 4 years later . . . has started sniffing around. Apparently the grass wasn’t so much greener as it was bullying on the other side of the fence.

Having had to work through the emotional fallout from that breakup alone, I’m not too keen to assist with closure now — but, I’m so incredibly fortunate that the man I’m marrying is so much better for me in every measure - practically, socially, financially, sexually, emotionally, physically — that I don’t mind letting him see that