Weddingbee Blog

In emptying my parent’s place I have thrown away many momentos of past relationships, not because my FI asked me to, but more so because I wanted to make room in my new home for “Our” memories. While I will not soon forget many of my past relationships, holding on to old letters or momentos I find is a bit disrespectful to my FI. He’s not a very sentimental person, but the only items he’s moved into our new house are the love letters and gifts I’ve given him over the years. I think it’s more of the right thing to do to not have things from the past hinder the many memories you are bound to build together in the future!

I went through old boyfriend things recently too while packing up. I had kept them all these years, but I was finally ready to let go, so I packed them all in a box and threw them all out.

Hrmm, I don’t think I can throw away my old momentos/love letters. They were happy memories, and they represent the past. I dont think Mr. E is threatened by them in any way, so I will probably just let me sit at my parents house for a while longer…

Actually I threw all of them away. Why bother? If you haven’t read it in years, what is to say you Want to read or see it again? As I was clearing out my old room, I read the notes & looked at the pictures, reminiced about how young I was then threw them away. However, I did keep one or two things and put them in a shoebox and duct taped. Never to see the light of day for a LONG time. I plan to leave it in my mom’s attic to gather dust. Its the pack rat soul in me that refuses to throw everything away. & I did give all the jewelry away to my kid sister.

If any ex-boyfriend is your “Jack” (”Titantic” analogy) then for the love of G_d, save these mementos! TRUST ME. The only boyfriend letters/cards/photos I’d ever saved were from my special “Jack” type person, and lo and behold, decades letter, we got married! Sooo glad I saved his letters.

Now, if you are lucky enough to be marrying your “Jack” the first time, consider saving some ex-boyfriend letters/photos anyway. If nothing else, when you are older it will be nice to show your grandkids you were young once. If any letters or photos are special in any way (maybe it helped you through a tough time, or you learned something about yourself, or it’s really funny, or you look great or are wearing something special or have bizarre hair, or it documents a special event, or is just beautifully written), go ahead and put them in some kind of time capsue (starjas’ idea is neat).

If any of your ex’s could be the next JFK Jr. or Justin Timberlake, might as well stash the pics and letters away for a scrapbook or ebay sale.

I actually mailed a lot of photos back to the non-”Jack” ex’s (photos of them alone, or them with their friends; not ones with me in them!), not in a mean way, but with a message that I was cleaning house and came across these photos and thought maybe they’d like to have them (unstated implication: I would otherwise be throwing them away). I got some very nice follow-ups, and in one case his mother was thrilled to have baby pictures back.

(I guess so many notes/photos are electronic now; none of the above ideas apply in that case!)

I had kept a “boyfriend box” that I looked at after a bad breakup, or after feeling really lonely, etc. I’d look at it, and it would remind me that I have felt desired and loved before. When my husband and I started dating, I didn’t think of the box at all — it sits in my closet until I feel like I need to reminesce, or to be reminded that I hadn’t always been single and lonely on a Saturday night. However, when my husband and I got engaged, I realized that these momentos would really only hurt him. While I’d dated a few guys seriously in the past, I was his first honest to goodness serious girlfriend. He could take the fact that I had exes, but I didn’t want him to ever have to look at the evidence. We lived at my parents’ house during our engagement (he moved across the country to be close to me and to get to know my family), and I decided that I was going to burn the boyfriend box in our outdoor firepit. It wasn’t a “burn those jerks’ stuff!” thing, it was actually pretty emotional. My then-fiance sat outside with me as I threw things into the fire (I put the pictures in upside down so he wouldn’t have to see me with any other man but him). Afterwards, we sat out and cuddled, and it was emotional for me, because it was getting rid of every trace of another romantic relationship. It meant that the only love letters I’d ever have would be his. I like that. I know other people still hold onto their stuff, and that’s fine, but for me? I wouldn’t want my husband or children to ever stumble upon an old boyfriend picture, and wonder what could have been.